Are we headed toward a Dom shortage?

[WriterDom]

Does one exist now?


https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=268471

I've noticed in the past year there are new subs coming out of the woodwork it seems. Has anyone else noticed this?

In the past month, I've been approached by 3 subs just out of high school. I had a thread over there at bdsmP, not the one someone recently bumped up, and I had to shut it down cause I was getting 2 or 3 contacts a day.


There has always been a Domme shortage. Are we headed toward a Dom shortage? These young ones coming up still want to fuck guys their own age, but in a Dom they don't care if you are in your 40s or 50s.

 

[rosco rathbone]

There's something to what you say--personal power will always be a rare commodity. However, I must take exception to your ageism. I for one have no interest in the clueless young chicks. Give me a battle scarred older woman any day. Cutoff age-35.

 

[WriterDom]

There's something to what you say--personal power will always be a rare commodity. However, I must take exception to your ageism. I for one have no interest in the clueless young chicks. Give me a battle scarred older woman any day. Cutoff age-35.

It is just not the kiddies, but women 30-55 also. More in that age range than younger. That's been true for a while. Would you scar them up first, or let them pick up a few before you get a hold of them?

 

[NCShin]

I think it's always been there.

I think that the availability of information helps people realize what they have always felt and not know what it was.

I also think that since most of us in our non-sexual lives strive FOR power, respect and above all money. In our sexual lives we look to let go of that drive.

I read something the other day (of which i have no idea if it's true, lemme find the link)....

ah, here it is: http://www.mynippon.com/romance/shibari.htm

of particular interest to me in the article was this:

S&M is "normal" in Japan

Unlike other cultures, Japanese women find it acceptable to be humiliated and bound for carnal pleasures. We can analyze this attitude from a mental and cultural point of view. Japanese women, just like the Nawashi, think binding a woman frees her soul. How is this possible? In Japan, it is said and believed that bondage, submission and humiliation frees a woman. To understand this contradiction, you must remember that the Japanese are a very hardworking people, life is short, and all Japanese live stressful lives. Shibari is used as a tool to break free from stress and the daily routine of a simple, normal woman. In addition to this, we can analyze the importance of Shibari in relation to the attitude of the modern woman in Japan. At present, there are no more Geishas left. Feminism and equality of the sexes in Japan is standard practice though it still lags the rest of the developed world. Many women know deep inside that it is not good to abandon traditional roles and that is why, when these women find a good Nawashi, they let themselves be punished by him. The Nawashi in Japan say that the best Doreis or M-jo are proud women with great self-esteem, because when they are bound and humiliated, they free their egotistical selves and are left with their biological truth.

Now, I'm not sure i agree with everything said, but i wonder if as more people read about BDSM they see something in what is said above....

 

[fallon2]

Hey, me too!

I think that there is and that is okay.

I have also been contacted overtly and subtly and I think that is also okay.

I don't mind when women pm with their questions either.

Maybe we should start a training school??

 

[WriterDom]

I think it's always been there.

I think that the availability of information helps people realize what they have always felt and not know what it was.


interesting, but not something you'll see on Oprah. In much of the world, women are kept in submission. We can have it both ways here.

 

[MissTaken]

Is this indication of a Dom shortage or simply indication that submissives are becoming a bit more overt in their efforts to find their match?

 

[WriterDom]

Is this indication of a Dom shortage or simply indication that submissives are becoming a bit more overt in their efforts to find their match?

It is their culture. It is the way. A male is Dom from birth.

 

[A Desert Rose]

It is their culture. It is the way. A male is Dom from birth.

Yes, just as I am a submissive from birth. What am I missing here, WD? ;-)

I think there are several reasons why there are more submissives than Doms posting. For one thing, men are not usually as expressive, especially in writing, as women are.

It's definately a Dom's market at Literotica, however.

 

[Kajira Callista]

I didnt get WDs post at all

 

[A Desert Rose]

I didnt get WDs post at all

Good.. thanks. LOL I thought it was just me.

I know, you and I are both examples of "birth-wired submissives."

Hey... BWs.... I like that. Goes along with AA's PYL stuff. Just what we need more acronyms and shit, huh? LOL

 

[Kajira Callista]

Good.. thanks. LOL I thought it was just me.

I know, you and I are both examples of "birth-wired submissives."

Hey... BWs.... I like that. Goes along with AA's PYL stuff. Just what we need more acronyms and shit, huh? LOL

bwpyls

 

[Betticus]

I guess I've been taking it too easy. I must be hanging out at the wrong places.

Yeah, start up that Dom/Domme school.

 

[Desdemona]

There's something to what you say--personal power will always be a rare commodity. However, I must take exception to your ageism. I for one have no interest in the clueless young chicks. Give me a battle scarred older woman any day. Cutoff age-35.

Hey now... just because I'm over 35, does that make me battle scarred? Now that I think about it, maybe it does. That seems to be what life does to us and I'm not sure it's a bad way to be described.

 

[WriterDom]

some Hank?


There aint no man gonna invade my territory there aint nobody out there gonna mess with me

because I'm big and hard and battlescarred and getting long in the tooth desperate and hungry and got nothing to loose.


Yeah I'm a lone wolf I've been chased and I've been bit.yeah I'm a lone wolf.They like to shoot at me but they miss.

Yeah I'm a lone wolf and I ain't never been trapped, and God help the people that think they got me cornered at last.

I've been hunting.I've been tracking. I've been running since I was 3,born in Louisiana Swamp,moved with the pack to Tennessee.

Raised by black and white dogs to some country,some rock-n-roll. They said now boy your gonna have to quit your houlling so.
Staying up all night and chasing Lassies by the moon laying up all day on the porch playing guitar tunes.



Yeah I'm a lone wolf and I no longer run with the pack.Yeah I am a lone wolf.I don't ever look back.
Hey I am a lone wolf out here on the prowl and most of us have been penned up but I'm still running wild.

Hey I'm a lone wolf.I've been chased and I've been bit.Yeah I am a lone wolf this ole dog knows all the tricks.
Hey I'm a lone wolf.Still hungry and I'm on the prowl, and most of us have been penned up but Bocephus is running wild.
You better watch out because I'm hungry and I'm on the prowl.

 

[heckle]

ah, here it is: http://www.mynippon.com/romance/shibari.htm

Hmmm... Interesting outlook. Semi-factual to say the least. There have been many discussions online concerning the history of rope bondage and most agree that the "deep seated" roots are not that old.

As for Japanese females finding humiliation acceptable... Well... I do not agree with that. Yes, some do (just like in any part fo the world).

It is funny how some small bit of information found on the internet is accepted as factual and passed around.

Now, back to what this thread was about in the start. A Dom shortage. While I agree that there are more and more submissives exploring the scene/lifestyle lately, there are still Doms doing the same. Just not in as great a number. Alot of the submissives are nto really submissive at all. They are just exploring or trying to act the part because they think it is cool or the next "in thing" to do. But once they find out that what we do is real, mental and physical, they bolt out the door and never come back.

To twist this another turn, has anyone noticed more and more young Dommes who are advertising that they are Pro? You know, the college age girls or ones just out of college? Looking to charge so they can pay off the student loans. These are the ones who watch a few movies or read abotu stuff online or maybe in a chat room and decide that they can do it easily. They are the ones who are dangerous. Talk about scenes gone bad. Now, before any of you females jump on me abotu my statement, I do not mean to include all Pro Dommes. I know a couple of Pro Dommes and they are wonderful, caring and experienced ladies.

 

[WriterDom]

[BTo twist this another turn, has anyone noticed more and more young Dommes who are advertising that they are Pro? You know, the college age girls or ones just out of college? Looking to charge so they can pay off the student loans. These are the ones who watch a few movies or read abotu stuff online or maybe in a chat room and decide that they can do it easily. They are the ones who are dangerous. Talk about scenes gone bad. Now, before any of you females jump on me abotu my statement, I do not mean to include all Pro Dommes. I know a couple of Pro Dommes and they are wonderful, caring and experienced ladies. [/B]

The free market system at work. If there is a demand, people are going to step in and fill it. I don't think it is anything I'd do, but I have to admit that it has crossed my mind.

 

[WriterDom]

Alot of the submissives are nto really submissive at all. They are just exploring or trying to act the part because they think it is cool or the next "in thing" to do. But once they find out that what we do is real, mental and physical, they bolt out the door and never come back.

And you are basing this on what? The green submissives I've known would never go back to a nilla life no more than a gay person would turn straight.

If they are willing to cross the cyber divide.

 

[NCShin]

Hmmm... Interesting outlook. Semi-factual to say the least. There have been many discussions online concerning the history of rope bondage and most agree that the "deep seated" roots are not that old.

As for Japanese females finding humiliation acceptable... Well... I do not agree with that. Yes, some do (just like in any part fo the world).

A few things on that.

First I do not agree with the entire article.

Mainly my point of posting that was to bring up the (claimed) more acceptable nature of D/s in general.

I also think that because people are more open minded about sex in general today, that the read about it and see that they might like it.

I think it was WD who posted a poll in the BDSM personals section. There weren't a huge amount of responses, but the main answer seemed to be "female, sub curious" from the results.

Maybe I over think things, i've been known to do that in the past. But I think that since girls are usually raised to protect themselves from being thought a slut and to deny themselves what their body is wanting. That when they are able to finally explore their own sexuality one thing that is very appealing to them is to be, or feel privately like that slut they've tried to avoid being seen as for so long.

What better way for a person brainwashed from birth to deny erges to experience them but by allowing themselves to be rendered helpless? Being bound, or ordered to do the very things that they've been denying themselves for so long.

 

[niteshade]

What better way for a person brainwashed from birth to deny erges to experience them but by allowing themselves to be rendered helpless? Being bound, or ordered to do the very things that they've been denying themselves for so long.

After about a year of research, I finally figured out that my curiosity/interest in bdsm was based partially on what you are saying. After I figured that out, I ran smack dap into the steel core of me that says "uh... no thanks, lets just be kinky, I will take responsibility for my own sexuality." But... I don't think that what you say applies to all, or even most, of the true submissives I have talked to.


OHHH and actually on topic...
I would say that there may well be a dom shortage just at the moment, but I am sure it will balance itself back out. IMO, it is probably more about sexuality and kinky sex being more acceptable for everyone, and for women in particular, than it is about straight BDSM and a "Dom" shortage.

 

[Pure]

I think the fact of the apparent overabundance of self labeled 'subs' follows from the fact that there is always an abundance of those *wanting* and *seeking* attention (love), compared to those who do NOT show that great a need and are seemingly willing to *give* it (perhaps for a price).

Since the average (self labeled) dom presents himself as attending to the sub's needs, prizing her, making her very special, providing her security, even worshipping her, he is a natural 'magnet' for this attention-seeking 'sub' princess.

He is, in many cases, NOT actually a 'giver', but one who wraps a cloak of romance around his own paternalism and self-seeking.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I think the fact of the apparent overabundance of self labeled 'subs' follows from the fact that there is always an abundance of those *wanting* and *seeking* attention (love), compared to those who do NOT show that great a need and are seemingly willing to *give* it (perhaps for a price).

Since the average (self labeled) dom presents himself as attending to the sub's needs, prizing her, making her very special, providing her security, even worshipping her, he is a natural 'magnet' for this attention-seeking 'sub' princess.

He is, in many cases, NOT actually a 'giver', but one who wraps a cloak of romance around his own paternalism and self-seeking.

Nods head stokes chin. mmyes, yes indeed.

 

[PrettyKitty427]

i need a spanking

 

[snowy ciara]

If we're looking at online Doms, there's a bit of a shortage here. But on other sites that I've been on, it seems about even. And from what I've seen in the offline community here (albeit, my experience is extrememly limited), it's still about even when talking about the male Dom/Female sub ratio. The Femdom supply offline seems to be a bit short, though.

 

[Pure]

ncshin
//What better way for a person brainwashed from birth to deny erges to experience them but by allowing themselves to be rendered helpless? Being bound, or ordered to do the very things that they've been denying themselves for so long. //

niteshade said,
After about a year of research, I finally figured out that my curiosity/interest in bdsm was based partially on what you are saying. After I figured that out, I ran smack dap into the steel core of me that says "uh... no thanks, lets just be kinky, I will take responsibility for my own sexuality." But... I don't think that what you say applies to all, or even most, of the true submissives I have talked to.

good point, nightshade; 'let's just be kinky' is pretty common. it's just dressed up in flashy ways, and bdsm terminology.

ncshin had a point, but leaves out the larger frame: Prior to being rendered helpless or bound, i've let the other know the agenda, and it's agreed.

the situation is something like going into surgery to have one tonsils removed. although the person 'loses' control briefly during the operation, in the big picture, what's happening is according to his or her desire; s/he has determined that the operation will take place, who will do it etc.

most self labeled 'sub's' these days deal in limits and safewords, so as to insure being ordered to do the things they've pre specified.

returning to 'let's be kinky'-- that strikes me as honest. You be the sheriff, i'll be the prisoner, etc.; you tie me, i'll be the bound one.

this has nothing at all to do with imposition, or with anyone 'submitting' to something difficult. Both are working for something mutually desired; indeed preagreed and/or prespecified.