Are there things about me that are attractive? Or do I turn you off?

[paphian]

Thanks, hon...I appreciate that. And I do mean that.

I am tempted...but if I don't try to be what he wants, then it wouldn't be fair to walk away would it?

Sounds like you've already been trying. And like you've made some serious changes in that regard. If this is the response you're getting, then you've got nothing to feel guilty about.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[koalabear]

He just said that tonight.........your sig line has mentioned another guy for a month.......you have been through this, this time of year for the last 3 years. Keep beating a dead horse or get happy, only you can make that decision not him.

Cat try being what you want.........not what someone wants you to be.........edited to add this

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[Ice Cold]

I honestly admit to having caused our original problems. But as you all have watched me turn into the caring person that I really am over the last few months here, I have done the same at home.

That shouldn't be an issue. Yes it takes one person to make a mistake. But you've admitted it. It takes another to hold a grudge and not work past it. He may not be choosing to see how you've changed becuase it would require effort on his part, and he would have to actually deal with get past the issues and moving on with you.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[koalabear]

That is the part of me that he doesn't find attractive. I feel better about me...but he doesn't. You, of all people, know how much stronger I am now than what I was 2 years ago.

Then grow weaker and wither and die in that so called marriage. He wants possesions, not a partner.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[koalabear]

*sigh*

oh by the way...after you send a pm to someone...you should really go back and read the response!

grrrrrrrrr stupid thing never tells me half the time i have one!

 

[RhumbRunner13]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Are there things about me that are attractive? Or do I turn you off?

You don't get it do you?

She doesn't need to hang upside down or float in a pool, she is sexy. A damn site more so than most girls half her age.

No, you are right Jusper! No one should ever use a little levity with a person he cares about to lift her spirits! No one should ever make an honest comment about the beauty of a woman that he respects from reading the comments she puts into public forum, and a picture she puts in the same, seemingly to (me) open her life a little more than most of us do. You are right, Jusper, you handle the situation. You are far more qualified and intuitive, I am out of here!

RhumbRunner

 

[Bigdog]

Bratcat:

Speaking as a married man, I can say that bombshell statements like the one your husband made are usually a smokescreen for some other issue. Oftentimes it is a scare tactic to avoid having to talk about anything at all.

As a hypothetical, let's say a man is having "performance" issues; Mr. Happy isn't so happy. In order to avoid admitting to his wife there is a problem on his end, he tosses out this little glib comment that he doesn't find her sexually enticing anymore. See how the words don't really have anything to do with the truth?

Stick with the counseling. If he refuses, go alone. Take care of you first, if he's worth keeping he will come around.

Good luck.

 

[Juspar Emvan]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Are there things about me that are attractive? Or do I turn you off?

No, you are right Jusper! No one should ever use a little levity with a person he cares about to lift her spirits! No one should ever make an honest comment about the beauty of a woman that he respects from reading the comments she puts into public forum, and a picture she puts in the same, seemingly to (me) open her life a little more than most of us do. You are right, Jusper, you handle the situation. You are far more qualified and intuitive, I am out of here!

RhumbRunner

Oh you want to get that way with me bud? I'll rip you a new fucking arsehole.

I'm sorry if I was taken wrong back there, but I happen to know Cat personally, and that was my take on it. She made some comments about herself which I think were misleading in regards to her attractiveness, and yours just perpetuated that.

On top of which I'm in an extremely pissy mood tonight, something about being treated like dirt that can do that to you.

 

[lavender]

 

[YogiBare]

Bratty, you're a vibrant, intelligent, sexy, and fun woman and for some reason your husband apparently finds these qualities threatening. That is the only reason why he would be trying to squash them in you.

One thought is that your husband might be clinically depressed. Ask your marital counselor what he/she thinks about this.

I agree with someone else's comment above - don't try to make yourself into what he wants you to be. Be yourself. If you bring the same sexuality, fun, and liveliness to your marriage as you do to this board, what more can a husband ask?

 

[Ishmael]

I could tell you for sure...............

one way or another. But You'd have to fly to Orlando to find out.

Ishmael

 

[TWB]

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=80839&highlight=hottie


It is not you. I am sorry he said that to you. I think it has to do with him, and something going on inside. Criticism and harsh words often come when one is feeling worst about themselves.

Hope that is all it was.

TWB

 

[zantac666]

I find you intresting i like what you say sometimes you make me laugh and you are someone i would like to get to know and not for sex.

your s/o is a jerk for saying that i would never say anything like that.

 

[nasty]

I think your av is sexy. And, your personality*in Austin Powers impersonation*is smashing, baby.

 

[perks]

bratgurl

what an insensitive jerk.
I think you're vibrant and beautiful.
I know we're not the ones you really want to hear that from, but I'll support you however I can.
Let me know if you want to talk today. I'll give you verbal hugs.

 

[estevie]

I think you are beautiful, you turn me on. Isn't that enough??


I can't add anything different to what everyone has already said. You know as well as I that men can be complete assholes sometimes. This is one of those times. You are a beautiful person...faults and all!

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[estevie]

My hubby and I have nothing in common. We did at one point, but people grow. What I enjoyed at 17 are not the same things I enjoy at 30. The only thing that we enjoy doing together is fishing and thats only cause he takes the fishy off my hook!


Hang in there, cat. Keep talking to him and see if things can be worked out. Maybe you guys can come up with something that you enjoy doing together...a whole new thing...not you trying to like sports or him helping you with your crafts...something completely new. Ya never know!

 

[Cheyenne]

Maybe you are assuming something based on how YOU think you've changed in the last two years. You see yourself as stronger and more outspoken. Could be. How does HE think you've changed in ways that aren't appealing? It sounds like he is trying to tell you but you're not listening. Your last sentence says it all: "We really just have a huge communication gap in our relationship."

 

[MissTaken]

Bratcat,

I read your post last night and wanted to respond. However I didn't want to sound condescending or bitchy. Today, after having more information, my response remains the same and I think you would expect someone to say this. Again, I intend to help.

You need to get off the computer and live your life a little more often. You know this. You have dedicated long threads to this particular topic. It would be a great first step towards assessing your relationship and then acting.

You can't trouble shoot your marriage from here. You have to be a part of it to do that.

Again...no intent to hurt...just my two cents.

Good luck
Miss T

 

[Zamdrist]

Few things are best left unsaid. I'm sure you must have felt horrible he said that to you. However you could take it as a sign to reevaluate your marriage and look at what each of you can do to reinvigirate (sp?) the marriage.

It's not unusual for the attractiveness factor to decrease over a period of time. Yet steps should be taken breathe fresh air into the marriage.

My two cents.

Men say the stupidiest things sometimes, and I'm no exception.