Are there things about me that are attractive? Or do I turn you off?

[Cherry]

Kitty Gurl

Then what can I do?

One word ---> VIAGRA

Sounds to me that he is trying to make HIS disinterest in sex YOUR fault.

You are a very appealing, vibrant woman ... don't let his scathing remarks erode your self-confidence. The next time that he gets into 'couch potato' mode, unplug the TV, and drag him outside for a walk with you. Be your cute, lovable self with him ... show him the beauty of your inner bratcat.

 

[*bratcat*]

 

[*bratcat*]

Re: Kitty Gurl

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Kitty Gurl

That's the part he doesn't like, Cherry. He doesn't enjoy the flirtatious side of me, even when I am like that with him.

Mind you, today he is a different man. He is very loving and demonstrative and is saying nice things. I am confused.

Don't be confused.

He obviously loves you.

Enjoy it.



Men have cycles, too, ya know!

 

[bored1]

bratcat, I always read your posts, but I dont think i"ve ever posted on one. I clicked on your rose, your a very attractive woman. Sometimes husbands/men say totally insensitive things. They become complacent and take their wives / SO for granted. They dont take the time to see the real beauty of their mates. Hope all is fine.

 

[Cherry]

Re: Re: Kitty Gurl

Originally posted by *bratcat*

That's the part he doesn't like, Cherry. He doesn't enjoy the flirtatious side of me, even when I am like that with him.

All the more proof ...
it may give him performance anxiety when you purr up to him.

Why don't you just come right out with it? Ask him to talk to a doctor about Viagra. Be sure to preface the request with "I understand that a lot of men your age suffer a decrease in libido. Viagra can help you regain your previous sex drive."

Don't be surprised if his reaction is to be offended ... he may still consider it after getting over the initial shock. Be sure to mention that your sex drive is alive and well, too.




Mind you, today he is a different man. He is very loving and demonstrative and is saying nice things. I am confused.

Yeah, he probably realized what an ass he was to say that to you.

 

[*bratcat*]

Re: Re: Re: Kitty Gurl

 

[Cherry]

I'm sorry, sweetie
(((((((((hugs))))))))))

Give it some time ... hoping it's just a temporary bad phase.

 

[moondoggie]

A relationship is more than just what two people have in common. Many couples enjoy a healthy marriage and love each other deeply, without sharing everything. The trick is to find the one item that you do share, and work from there. Maybe that is all it takes. But he has to share some responsibility and learn to grow too.

Never stop growing, life is too short, and let him know that. Maybe he will finally open his eyes and see what he may be missing; which would be alot.

 

[Guest]

Apparently, the man I am married to doesn't find me the least bit sexually attractive (and yes, that came out of his mouth about an hour ago).

I don't know you personally *bratcat*, but I feel a need to respond to your questions, to offer you a glimpse into the crystal ball ten years later.

I've been married to my husband for 30+ years. He was, at one time, a wonderful and passionate lover to me. Then, as time went on, I became less sexually appealing to him. It was honestly no fault of my own: I've always had a healthy sex drive, I kept myself appealing to look at, I never refused him once, I initiated sex, I wasn't possessive or nagging, I shared many of his interests. He just grew tired of me after 15 years of marriage.

He had several flings over the years, which were heartbreaking for me. They were not the cause of his loss of sexual interest at home, but rather the result of my not having any sexual appeal to him. He was always very discreet. Whenever I learned of his latest dalliance, usually when one of the tarts was so kind to call me to gloat about her affair with my husband, I would ask him, "Why?" and his response was always the same, "I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt you."

I stayed and forgave because we had a son who loved us both so terribly much. I guess he stayed for the same reason, as well.

It doesn't get better.

As time went on, the sincere apologies were replaced by even more hurtful changes. Like when he set the precedent for separate bedrooms by going to bed early and locking the door. When I tried to talk about it with him, he explained that he had to get up early for work, that he couldn't sleep through the night because I wiggle too much. But I remember, while we were still sleeping together, how he would cringe if I touched him, or tried to cuddle. I remember the look of horror on his face when I tried to initiate sex. I remember the knife through my heart when he said "you repulse me".

Yes, I repulse him. Fifteen years later of a wasted life, I still repulse him. Finally, now I can leave.

 

[*bratcat*]