Applications are being accepted here...

[LaurahW]

If you can pass certain criteria. I have been on Lit for a whopping three days, and have posted some of this in other threads, but after a post I made yesterday it becomes clear to me I need to be very specific. Just so there are no hurt feelings or misunderstandings from the start.
I am 47 years old, tall, blond, and very comfortable with myself and my sexuality. So, In the best Jeff Foxworthy format:

You might qualify if:
1) you are at LEAST 25 years old. I am no cougar, and more, I'm not willing to be a teacher. I want someone who knows what he wants, and knows how to make it happen for himself, and his partner.
2)you don't send me a picture of your cock. Come on guys! really?? I have seen my share of those, and probably a couple of other people's shares, too. Besides, that won't tell me if you know how to use it, just that you have one, and I can always buy a dildo for that.
3) you have a sense of humor. Mine is wicked and twisted.
4) you don't ask me what fetishes I'm into. I don't consider what I like so much a fetish as a guideline.
5) you have some intelligence, as well as a good dose of common sense. I have no patience for stupid on any level.

I'll start with that, and I'm sure I will get comments, which is what I'm after. If you can't pass all of these, please enjoy your stay on Lit, but search else where.
Thank you.

 

[bravada]

.....

 

[LaurahW]

4) I thought that was kinky, not fetish. Kinky, by definition, is what you won't do. Fetish is what you will do that is considered outside the norm. BTW, Normal is a setting on the dryer as far as I'm concerned.

 

[bravada]

.....

 

[PeteHulbert37]

4) I thought that was kinky, not fetish. Kinky, by definition, is what you won't do. Fetish is what you will do that is considered outside the norm. BTW, Normal is a setting on the dryer as far as I'm concerned.

Hey, you must live in Buffalo. Not sure if I meet any of your qualifications for ...........................a.............what role/position/experiment you have planned for us. At any rate, I wanted to welcome you to Lit and invite you to post on all of the threads. We have some ridiculous fun here.

 

[teknight]

http://www.cleulow.com/mediac/400_0/media/DIR_109/Blue~part~cock.jpg

And what's wrong with pictures of cocks?!

 

[IhateClowns]

If you can pass certain criteria. I have been on Lit for a whopping three days, and have posted some of this in other threads, but after a post I made yesterday it becomes clear to me I need to be very specific. Just so there are no hurt feelings or misunderstandings from the start.
I am 47 years old, tall, blond, and very comfortable with myself and my sexuality. So, In the best Jeff Foxworthy format:

You might qualify if:
1) you are at LEAST 25 years old. I am no cougar, and more, I'm not willing to be a teacher. I want someone who knows what he wants, and knows how to make it happen for himself, and his partner.
2)you don't send me a picture of your cock. Come on guys! really?? I have seen my share of those, and probably a couple of other people's shares, too. Besides, that won't tell me if you know how to use it, just that you have one, and I can always buy a dildo for that.
3) you have a sense of humor. Mine is wicked and twisted.
4) you don't ask me what fetishes I'm into. I don't consider what I like so much a fetish as a guideline.
5) you have some intelligence, as well as a good dose of common sense. I have no patience for stupid on any level.

I'll start with that, and I'm sure I will get comments, which is what I'm after. If you can't pass all of these, please enjoy your stay on Lit, but search else where.
Thank you.

1) I thought a 47 year old with a 25 year old was the standard cougar by definition no?

2) No worries on the cock pic. I usually stand in front of a mirror, with my cock tucked since he is shy, lightly rubbing my nipples while mumbling "fuck me beautiful" It makes a wonderful Christmas card.

3) I don't have much of a sense of humor, but I make up for that in other things. I drive a sweet 92' Pontiac Grand Prix with 16" spinners, with a prime sound system. I make a mean toast. I always wipe front to back and I only leave the toilet seat up 50% of the time.

4) Don't ask you what your fetishes are? So basically when I need to take a piss just unzip turn towards you and let fly. If you scream and try to hit me I mark that oneoff the list. Ok got it.

5) I have my masters from Devry Institute of Technology in court reporting. Hence my incredible typing skills. I am actually enrolled in the doctorate program that starts next month. It is a 5 week program and I never have to leave my bed.

As you can see I am clearly qualified for this position although I am unsure exactly job the application is for. Are you stock piling a harem or looking for one individual to take under your wing?

 

[lisa_s62]

i love this thread! i'm like laura, so all you 20 year olds can stop sending messages. now, older hunks are another story

 

[LaurahW]

Not a thing wrong with dic pics, I just don't care for them
it takes more than a visual to get me going.

 

[candycane154]

http://www.cleulow.com/mediac/400_0/media/DIR_109/Blue~part~cock.jpg

And what's wrong with pictures of cocks?!

Tek, you are SUCH a smartass.

 

[teknight]

Not a thing wrong with dic pics, I just don't care for them
it takes more than a visual to get me going.

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/DicLogo.jpg
So, no pics of dic?

 

[LaurahW]

25 is my absolute bottom line, and ONLY because a gentleman convinced me it would be worth my time. He has wonderful manners, and went to the head of the line.

 

[IhateClowns]

Ok so you have your list of what you want. What exactly are you offering?

 

[njguy1002]

i love this thread! i'm like laura, so all you 20 year olds can stop sending messages. now, older hunks are another story

What is your age limit?

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

2)you don't send me a picture of your cock. Come on guys! really?? I have seen my share of those, and probably a couple of other people's shares, too. Besides, that won't tell me if you know how to use it, just that you have one, and I can always buy a dildo for that.

I totally agree with this, once you see one, you've seen them all, all shapes, sizes and colour.

Just thought I'd add my thought in.

 

[teknight]

I totally agree with this, once you see one, you've seen them all, all shapes, sizes and colour.

Just thought I'd add my thought in.

You've seen green ones?!

 

[LaurahW]

http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/DicLogo.jpg
So, no pics of dic?

you can send them, I won't look at them...

 

[de-valmont]

huge cock...

http://www.bigartmob.com/media/s/p/r/sprocket/the-giant-dorking-cock-1.jpg
Surely everyone wants to see a cock this big?

 

[Sensualdreamer]

you can send them, I won't look at them...

Well umm I'm curious how you would avoid looking at them esp when all it takes is actually putting the img code into the PM - esp considering that the PM format doesn't stipulate that there may be an image attached.

BTW...is this a thread, or is it an actual personals ad?

 

[LaurahW]

I totally agree with this, once you see one, you've seen them all, all shapes, sizes and colour.

Just thought I'd add my thought in.

I appreciate it! I know I'm not the only lady here who feel like this, and please feel free to post any time.. It was more an exercise in smart ass than anything else, but I've had fun with it.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

You've seen green ones?!

You know? I have! It belonged to Kermit!!

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

http://www.bigartmob.com/media/s/p/r/sprocket/the-giant-dorking-cock-1.jpg
Surely everyone wants to see a cock this big?

Now that is what I consider a beautiful cock, big enough for someone like me to ride.

 

[de-valmont]

Now that is what I consider a beautiful cock, big enough for someone like me to ride.

After getting drunk on a Friday night hey?

Now that's a movie to watch

 

[LaurahW]

Well umm I'm curious how you would avoid looking at them esp when all it takes is actually putting the img code into the PM :curious: - esp considering that the PM format doesn't stipulate that there may be an image attached.

BTW...is this a thread, or is it an actual personals ad?

for me they show up as links, so I just don't open them. My mama didn't raise any stupid children, and I'm the youngest of seven, so that's saying something. I am real enough, I'm sure there are a couple of guys here who would vouch for that.

BTW... it is really both, but more a sifting process. I get so many random pms from my postings I did this as an attempt to stem the flow. I'm here because I am what I said, comfortable with myself and my sexuality, not concerned at all what others think of me. I have a vivid imagination, and will share that with the right person or persons. It's all harmless fun. I'm not here looking for romance, just some fun.

Most are too far away for a "hook up" to be possible, so it's a moot point.

 

[Jinxi Minxi]

http://www.cleulow.com/mediac/400_0/media/DIR_109/Blue~part~cock.jpg

And what's wrong with pictures of cocks?!

I'd eat that one for breakfast, or Sunday roast....YUMtastic!!