Apologies

[MissTaken]

Do you ever apologize simply to keep the peace?

Do you feel in so doing, you aren't being true to yourself or are negating your needs, desires, or compromising your values?

Do you feel there are times when a well placed apology is worth the sacrifice?


Discuss!




God, I hate when people order us to Discuss.

So, try this,

Post here!

 

[ma_guy]

Nope! I don't apologize unless I'm actually wrong (hey, it happens! ).

I'm not a big fan of the "apologize just to keep the peace" idea. If a person does it and then something that is actually important comes up and they apologize how do you know if they are being sincere?

When I apologize people who know me know I mean it.

 

[bluespoke]

God, I hate when people order us to Discuss.

So, try this,

Post here!

Yes Ma'am!!

If I think an apology will take unnecessary heat out of a situation then why not?

It doesn't really matter whether I think there is justification. If the other party accepts the apology then they obviously did see the need. Why risk losing friends by omitting three words?

 

[k¡tty]

I do this often.




Recently as a matter of fact, I sensed a friendship between I and another was "off".

Not knowing what happened, what I may have said or done to cause it so.. I sent a blanket apology. I feel badly.. this is someone that I admire and enjoy and I honestly don't want them upset with something that I've, even, unknowingly done.

It's just in my nature to be the one to apologize, to keep the peace and more importantly to keep a friendship, relationship.

There's a lot of consideration and real meaning in those two words that I speak.




psst clean yer box chica! lol

 

[Guest]

I never apologize unless it is straight from my heart. I'm sorry's are thrown around with ease. I was reminded of that a while back. The thing is- you can offer a apology but that doesn't mean it's accepted. That can be frustrating but if you say you're sorry in order to make yourself feel better, you've totally missed the point.

 

[huskie]

Do you ever apologize simply to keep the peace?

Do you feel in so doing, you aren't being true to yourself or are negating your needs, desires, or compromising your values?

Do you feel there are times when a well placed apology is worth the sacrifice?


Discuss!




God, I hate when people order us to Discuss.

So, try this,

Post here!

Yes Duh!!! I have an ex whom has my son! I put on a smile and put up with tons of shit. It has made me a better buisnes man.

 

[perks]

I think an apology is a change of behavior, not just an "I'm sorry" because someone else got hurt by you.

If you're "sorry" because you've hurt somone, but still maintain the same behavior, you're not apologising, you're telling them you understand their pain, not that you're willing to fix it.

That's a difference.


I believe in apologies. I have and will apologise again. I'm sorries don't cut it with me, and I think they should be stricken from the language.

 

[Lancecastor]

Rarely.

 

[Flitter]

I don't apologize unless I've done something wrong. That may make me seem cold but I just don't believe in it. I think if you apologize just to "keep the peace" that the practice could become a habit or a necessity to keep things running smoothly in the relationship. Eventually, I would think , one would come to the point that the apology would be empty and void of any meaning at all. If you have to give a "fake" apology in order to keep things peaceful, don't you think there could be some bigger issues going on?

Just my humble opinion, of course.

 

[Rex1960]

I never apologies.
Since I practically never fail I just don't need to.
Who am I to kotau ?

 

[Bidin~Time]

I will apologize, if I feel I have done or said something to apologize for. But if the problem was that someone read something into my words or actions, and I feel they wear a chip on their shoulder, that's different. If they were just looking for reasons to be angry, they'll be waiting a long time for an apology.

In those instances, I usually point them in the direction of heavy traffic and suggest a long, brisk walk.

 

[Calamity Jane]

Do you ever apologize simply to keep the peace?

I used to. I don't anymore. I've learned that insincere apologies are damaging in the long run.

Do you feel in so doing, you aren't being true to yourself or are negating your needs, desires, or compromising your values?

Yes. I believe in honesty. An apology that isn't meant isn't honest. It's a copout. I hate copouts.

Do you feel there are times when a well placed apology is worth the sacrifice?

No.

Discuss!




God, I hate when people order us to Discuss.

So, try this,

Post here!

Edited to say: I also rarely use the words "I'm sorry. Rather, I say "I apologize". Sorry means worthless. I don't care how I've screwed up, I'm not worthless, and I won't say that I am.

 

[LukkyKnight]

Do you feel there are times when a well placed apology is worth the sacrifice?

Does accepting blame count? As in, "It's my fault." I'm convinced that in many cases there are people who cannot proceed to resolve difficulty unless and until it's understood who's at fault (and that it OBVIOUSLY isn't them.) So, while I may not apologize to keep the peace (in the strictest sense) I have been known to say, "My fault" as a means of moving along from bickering over blame to a process of progressing toward a solution.

It doesn't always work. It's generally worth the try.

 

[HeavyStick]

Post here!

I'm sorry I didn't live closer to you.

 

[k¡tty]

I do this often.




Recently as a matter of fact, I sensed a friendship between I and another was "off".

Not knowing what happened, what I may have said or done to cause it so.. I sent a blanket apology. I feel badly.. this is someone that I admire and enjoy and I honestly don't want them upset with something that I've, even, unknowingly done.

It's just in my nature to be the one to apologize, to keep the peace and more importantly to keep a friendship, relationship.

There's a lot of consideration and real meaning in those two words that I speak.

I think for myself I need to clarify what I was trying to say...


I simply said I apologize if I said or did anything that upset or hurt you.. if that is what happened it was unintentional on my part.

I left the door open to them if they wanted to communicate back with me.. to give me the opportunity to know what if anything was going on.

That doesn't mean that I believe that I actually did something.. just that I'm open to the possiblity that I screwed up along the way and I'm willing to understand and hopefully correct it in the future. Their friendship just meant that much to me.


I don't know if I'm actually making any sense.. posting on no sleep doesn't help matters much.

 

[Gusty Wind]

.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Apologies

Does accepting blame count? As in, "It's my fault." I'm convinced that in many cases there are people who cannot proceed to resolve difficulty unless and until it's understood who's at fault (and that it OBVIOUSLY isn't them.) So, while I may not apologize to keep the peace (in the strictest sense) I have been known to say, "My fault" as a means of moving along from bickering over blame to a process of progressing toward a solution.

It doesn't always work. It's generally worth the try.

Well, I used to throw out a quick apology if someone thought i was in the wrong, even if I didn't agree. Yes, silly as it seems, momentary peace seemed worth the effort.

Then, as time rolled on, he never took responsibility for any of his actions and was always quick to blame me. Now, that I am out of that relationship, I realize my mistake and accept responsibility for my actions, but also expect others to be held accountable for theirs.

Umm just random thoughts that occurred to me this morning, and I thought it might make for a good discussion.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Apologies

I'm sorry I didn't live closer to you.

*chuckles*

Like I tell my children, "I'm sorry" means you will do something to change the situation you are sorry about.

Don't say it unless you are willing to make it better!

 

[HeavyStick]

Re: Re: Re: Apologies

Don't say it unless you are willing to make it better!

Do you want me to tell you something about the clitoris?

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Apologies

Do you want me to tell you something about the clitoris?

I'm sorry.

I don't know what you could possibly mean!

 

[HeavyStick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Apologies

I'm sorry.

I don't know what you could possibly mean!

I got the final piece to your outfit.

;-)

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Apologies

I got the final piece to your outfit.

;-)

Mmm puppy play?

You just want someone to kneel in front of you and pant?

 

[ozraven]

Do you ever apologize simply to keep the peace?

Do you feel in so doing, you aren't being true to yourself or are negating your needs, desires, or compromising your values?

Do you feel there are times when a well placed apology is worth the sacrifice?


Discuss!




God, I hate when people order us to Discuss.

So, try this,

Post here!

I find myself obligated to appologise for drooling over your av!

But apart from that purile attempt at humour, I will always appologise if I hurt someone, but for causing the hurt, not for the act or words necesarrily.(sic)

I refuse to appologise just to keep the peace, whilst I agree that sometimes one would fix everything, my ego/pride gets in the way......

Sorry, what was the question, that damn av is very distracting!

 

[HeavyStick]

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Apologies

Mmm puppy play?

You just want someone to kneel in front of you and pant?

***has to be a good poster***

 

[A Desert Rose]

I will always apologize when I am wrong or have wronged someone.

What is most painful though, is when your sincere apology is not accepted.