Anyone for a nightcap?

[intothewoods]

Must catch up on the discussion here, but in the meantime...

As with anything else, perspectives on this topic vary widely.

Personally I find it much easier to develop a casual friendship with a woman who is obviously attached. Not because her stock has gone up, but simply because the incidence of having my attention misconstrued is much, much lower with attached women than with those who are seeking a mate.

I hear you on this. I felt the same way before I separated from my husband. As to one of the guys, he's in a relationship, but plays with many people. He may have paid more attention to me for that reason - like, phew, she's not going to have any of those romantic feelings for me! But I have to admit, I detected a bit of macho posturing. Less so from my crush, who really just wants to be liked by everyone. He was much nicer to Mister Man - Mister Man practically developed a crush on him!

At any rate, I think it depends on whether you are a guy on the prowl or not.

I have experienced this type of reaction many times as well.

If "interested in" means heavy flirting with a clear attempt to seduce, I have always found this type of attention extremely offputting. I consider it to be overtly disrespectful to an established partner, and therefore totally unacceptable from my perspective.

Funny, I'm actually really uncomfortable with flirting (unless very light flirting) with one part of a couple. No matter what the arrangement. And if I know they have kids, it's worse. It just feels squidgy.

 

[JMohegan]

Funny, I'm actually really uncomfortable with flirting (unless very light flirting) with one part of a couple. No matter what the arrangement. And if I know they have kids, it's worse. It just feels squidgy.

Some people flirt with everyone, and therefore effectively flirt with no one at all. Not my style, but I don't find it offputting per se - unless the person just comes off as obnoxious or self-absorbed, which frequent flirters sometimes do.

Squidgy, huh? Not sure what that means, but to me heavy flirting with one part of a couple represents a violation of a really basic code of conduct.

 

[intothewoods]

I don't know the answer on gun control. Anyone see Bowling for Columbine? Look - you don't have to love Michael Moore - I for one thought he was an ass to Charlton Heston, for starters. But but but - I was intrigued by the comparison with Canada. Canadians own guns! Ok, the rural hunting bit but still. They play violent video games. They own guns. They have diversity, even! And yet - less gun violence. What is the difference?

Btw - am watching a rerun of the Republican debates right now. And though I think Fred Thompson would be an awful president, I love his cantankerous presence in this debate. Awesome.

I think I used to feel more amenable to libertarian sentiments on the federal bureaucracy. But after W, I'm much more skeptical. Appointing a vehemently anti-regulation industry person to lead the department in charge of that regulation just results in chaos.

 

[JMohegan]

Btw - am watching a rerun of the Republican debates right now. And though I think Fred Thompson would be an awful president, I love his cantankerous presence in this debate. Awesome.

Ha, ha - yes, he was entertaining.

Have you seen the Democrats yet? I am interested to hear your opinion on Clinton's use of the gender card in that exchange.

 

[intothewoods]

Some people flirt with everyone, and therefore effectively flirt with no one at all. Not my style, but I don't find it offputting per se - unless the person just comes off as obnoxious or self-absorbed, which frequent flirters sometimes do.

Squidgy, huh? Not sure what that means, but to me heavy flirting with one part of a couple represents a violation of a really basic code of conduct.

Hmmm. I don't flirt actually. Or I do - with everyone. I mean, I'm not very coy and I don't play games. I am funny, and I love entertaining people. I don't know. I'm just uncomfortable with married men who have kids - it makes me want to run for the hills. Guys in a relationship who are poly? Eh...mostly I feel like gah, why bother. Now there's another person who may be jealous, may be nuts, may be anything. Why bother.

Squidgy = uncomfortable, with added wrinkled nose for effect.

 

[intothewoods]

Ha, ha - yes, he was entertaining.

Have you seen the Democrats yet? I am interested to hear your opinion on Clinton's use of the gender card in that exchange.

I haven't seen the whole thing, but it's coming up next. The problem Hillary faces is that whenever she goes after Obama, she is perceived as playing into that caricature of herself - the bitch. So it's tough to take on Obama. I mean, I'm not a Hillary fan. She was just too conservative on the war, and didn't speak out against Bush when I would have liked her to.

It makes sense that she would try to rally support from women. I can't fault her for it, but it doesn't sway me.

 

[midwestyankee]

Hmmm...I may have stumbled into the wrong bar tonight. I was thinking this was a place with friendly folks who talked about whips and figging and subbies and such.

 

[JMohegan]

Hmmm. I don't flirt actually. Or I do - with everyone. I mean, I'm not very coy and I don't play games. I am funny, and I love entertaining people. I don't know. I'm just uncomfortable with married men who have kids - it makes me want to run for the hills. Guys in a relationship who are poly? Eh...mostly I feel like gah, why bother. Now there's another person who may be jealous, may be nuts, may be anything. Why bother.

Squidgy = uncomfortable, with added wrinkled nose for effect.

Thanks for the definition - with a visual, no less! I'll make a note of it.

I'm glad your evening went well. With regard to Mister Man's aversion to public play, that's something I completely understand. To me, SM = intimacy, and intimacy is a private one-on-one thing.

It may seem like he's in the minority, but that really depends where you look. Obviously, public events and play parties attract one type more than the other.

 

[Homburg]

I don't know the answer on gun control. Anyone see Bowling for Columbine? Look - you don't have to love Michael Moore - I for one thought he was an ass to Charlton Heston, for starters. But but but - I was intrigued by the comparison with Canada. Canadians own guns! Ok, the rural hunting bit but still. They play violent video games. They own guns. They have diversity, even! And yet - less gun violence. What is the difference?

Population density is a big one. Whole lotsa Canada up there, not so many Canadians. And I know plenty of Canadians in metro areas that see way more about gun violence than I do.

There is a cultural difference as well, but a fair chunk of it is population density. If you track the numbers here in the US, light density areas have way less gun violence, though they usually have higher gun ownership per person.

New Hampshire GOP backs out a Fox News Forum

Looks like the NH GOP is pissed off at Ron Paul not getting into the fox debates. I'm rather shocked, and pleased, to see this.

 

[Homburg]

Thanks for the definition - with a visual, no less! I'll make a note of it.

I'm glad your evening went well. With regard to Mister Man's aversion to public play, that's something I completely understand. To me, SM = intimacy, and intimacy is a private one-on-one thing.

It may seem like he's in the minority, but that really depends where you look. Obviously, public events and play parties attract one type more than the other.

Certain things I do not mind doing in public, others I do. Some act I will do with a few on-lookers. Sex is private, topping in semi-private, any sort of deep emotional stuff would be private, etc.

Ropework I am perfectly fine with in public. I do a different style of work when though. It's less intimate, more showy, to be honest. Much less meditative.

 

[intothewoods]

Hmmm...I may have stumbled into the wrong bar tonight. I was thinking this was a place with friendly folks who talked about whips and figging and subbies and such.

Oh Sir, I do apologize. *bows and curtseys*


How was that?

 

[intothewoods]

Thanks for the definition - with a visual, no less! I'll make a note of it.

I'm glad your evening went well. With regard to Mister Man's aversion to public play, that's something I completely understand. To me, SM = intimacy, and intimacy is a private one-on-one thing.

It may seem like he's in the minority, but that really depends where you look. Obviously, public events and play parties attract one type more than the other.

That's what Mister man says. SM=intimacy=activities behind closed doors. I really like that about him, and of course, it's wonderful to feel like what we have is treasured.

What I have realized and conveyed to him is that our group creates this wonderful space, where I feel like I can be completely free to do whatever I want. I could walk around naked. I could wear a prim church lady outfit. I can wear what I want, experience what I want (within reason, of course), be what I want. The retreats/conferences especially provide this fantasy weekend where you learn, imagine, cut loose...everything. I really want to continue to experience that, and share it with Mister Man.

We will see how things go, of course. I like that he is private, in many ways, and not interested in fucking me in front of a room of 30 people, for example. You know, would I trade his sense of privacy for the chance to get whacked a few times by Sadist Bachelor #1? Nah. So, you know, I take it with a grain of salt. We shall see.

And of course, we are thinking about a future together that includes children. I don't know realistically how much we will be able to participate in this group if that happen. Probably the occasional party - and certain things. But it's not the end all be all, of course.

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh Sir, I do apologize. *bows and curtseys*


How was that?

Quite good...especially that part where your bow and curtsy showed off your cleavage to good advantage.

I'm working on a final glass of some Cali merlot at the moment and trying, just for a half a night, to forget politics.

 

[HottieMama]

Can someone please pour me something stiff???????????

i really need it!!!!

 

[intothewoods]

Can someone please pour me something stiff???????????

i really need it!!!!

Yes, ma'am! Whiskey, straight! Er, something like that.

 

[HottieMama]

Whiskey sounds wonderful.

i swear...i can only have SO much patience with the shy, beautiful girl act. (And yes..that was totally random.)

 

[subkitty72]

Can someone please pour me something stiff???????????

i really need it!!!!

i could use something stiff, too.

But this is no time for romance!

i have champagne, Hottie. And you are welcome to some.

 

[intothewoods]

il bastardo sangiovese.

 

[subkitty72]

Ravenswood Shiraz.

Whattup, peeps?

 

[midwestyankee]

Toasted Head Merlot.

 

[JMohegan]

I have never been fishing actually, but I have always wanted to go kayaking. I went river rafting once in California and loved it. Usually I'm a bit more mellow, and stay with hiking.

Which river?

Next time you visit Nepenthe, continue up the coast to Monterey and visit this place. The open deck kayaks are really easy to maneuver and the water is calm.

You can paddle right by sea lions sunning themselves on rocks and otters floating on their backs, anchored with kelp & having a snack.

 

[intothewoods]

Which river?

Next time you visit Nepenthe, continue up the coast to Monterey and visit this place. The open deck kayaks are really easy to maneuver and the water is calm.

You can paddle right by sea lions sunning themselves on rocks and otters floating on their backs, anchored with kelp & having a snack.

Past Sacramento. I don't recall the exact name (there were a few different runs). May have been the American? Yuba? Not sure. Right around there though.

As to Monterey, I grew up right near there, but I don't live there anymore. Maybe someday though.

 

[midwestyankee]

Target now sells a line of wine and spirits glasses made by Riedel Crystal.

 

[intothewoods]

Target now sells a line of wine and spirits glasses made by Riedel Crystal.

I've seen it. I don't think it's particular to Target - at least I didn't think so.

 

[midwestyankee]

I've seen it. I don't think it's particular to Target - at least I didn't think so.

Perhaps not. In any event, I bought some and it's quite lovely for inexpensive crystal. And it truly is crystal. Rings just wonderfully and looks gorgeous with some ruby red merlot inside.