Anyone else feel trapped in your marriage?

[LovelyLadyBits]

I’ve been married to a man that I never wanted to marry for 30 miserable years. Why you ask ? Because I was pregnant and wanted to do the right thing. After child # 2 came along 2 yrs later I never had sex with him again. For 26 yrs we didn’t have sex ! I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching me. Our second child was born very sick so it was a convenient excuse not to . He never tried to, never asked why,just accepted it. I actually wish he would’ve asked for a divorce then I would’ve been forced to figure out how to go it alone with 2 little ones ( one severely sick). Instead I spent 30 years unhappy, unsatisfied, and lonely. We have nothing in common. We do nothing together. We barely talk and only when necessary. I did step outside our marriage for maybe a year because I couldn’t stand it anymore after 26 yrs of no sex.
What I wouldn’t give to go back and do it differently. Found a way to keep working and supporting myself . Instead I gave up my job to care for our son and haven’t worked in 30 years .
I want out and think about it everyday but I don’t know how . It’s like I’m frozen in place.
I’m sorry for the pity party. I just needed to vent.

 

[LuLu_moan]

You did what you thought was right, and that takes courage. You put your kids above your own happiness and that means you are a great mom. You will figure it out and do what’s right for you.

 

[Hornymwtxn]

You were dealt a bad hand and played it best you could.

 

[EmmAgain]

I’m so sorry to hear how things have happened. Ranting and venting are perfectly fine - that’s what the internet is for!

You and I have something in common: God or whoever gave us only one life. You deserve to experience the world, love, friendship. If you can steel yourself for a year’s turbulence as you rediscover your feet, you’ll finally get to enjoy what’s left on the clock.

Best wishes and hugs

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

You’re all very kind , ty .

 

[lets_roll_12]

Venting is important when you have no other choice in being able to express your feelings. As others have so rightly mentioned, you did what you had to do. Make tough decisions to be a Mom that focused on her precious kids. That has to take a toll when you are literally going it alone. But it also takes a lot of strength and courage. Amazing attributes you should be proud of.

I too feel trapped but in very different circumstances. Trapped because I don’t want to leave a 27 year marriage but trapped in a love-less, emotionally starved marriage. I don’t even remember that last time she hugged me.
For good or bad, I have sought solace in a connection with someone on the other side of the world to feel loved. Someone who says ‘I care’. The person who lives in the same space as I do has not said that to me for decades.
Yours is not a pity party - I see a reaching out for reassurance and comfort

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

I’m sorry. It’s such a lonely existence. Mine hasn’t touched me, hugged me, complimented me or anything else most of our marriage. Mind you i started that ball rolling but it still sucks. I don’t want his affection but I want it from someone that cares.
I’m glad you’ve found someone regardless of where , if they make you feel cared about

 

[lets_roll_12]

I’m sorry. It’s such a lonely existence. Mine hasn’t touched me, hugged me, complimented me or anything else most of our marriage. Mind you i started that ball rolling but it still sucks. I don’t want his affection but I want it from someone that cares.
I’m glad you’ve found someone regardless of where , if they make you feel cared about

Sorry to hear this. You are not alone with your feelings - many others are also feeling similar experiences in their own ways.
Always happy to be a listening ear if you need one.

 

[LovelyLadyBits]

Ty very much !

 

[ClockworkCourtesan]

Yes. It's been a lonely 15 year mistake. No kids with her, thank goodness. Waiting for the divorce attorney to call back to get a court date set.

 

[appalachianplay]

Regarding the career, have you thought about or have any interest in health care? There is a lot of need, and it is industry standard to pay/reimburse tuition if you wish to advance your education. Your experience with your son will be appreciated. I wish you the best!

 

[lifeis2short2b]

I’ve been married to a man that I never wanted to marry for 30 miserable years. Why you ask ? Because I was pregnant and wanted to do the right thing. After child # 2 came along 2 yrs later I never had sex with him again. For 26 yrs we didn’t have sex ! I couldn’t stand the thought of him touching me. Our second child was born very sick so it was a convenient excuse not to . He never tried to, never asked why,just accepted it. I actually wish he would’ve asked for a divorce then I would’ve been forced to figure out how to go it alone with 2 little ones ( one severely sick). Instead I spent 30 years unhappy, unsatisfied, and lonely. We have nothing in common. We do nothing together. We barely talk and only when necessary. I did step outside our marriage for maybe a year because I couldn’t stand it anymore after 26 yrs of no sex.
What I wouldn’t give to go back and do it differently. Found a way to keep working and supporting myself . Instead I gave up my job to care for our son and haven’t worked in 30 years .
I want out and think about it everyday but I don’t know how . It’s like I’m frozen in place.
I’m sorry for the pity party. I just needed to vent.

Wow, sorry to hear this but this is a good first step. Your venting and talking out loud about it. I think it's tougher for a woman in this situation, she has the mother instincts to care for her child, Men tend to make more money and have more job opportunities. so yes you did the right thing at the time.
I'm surprised that he never asked for a divorce. He probably felt the same unhappiness. Maybe it's time to talk to him about each others unhappiness and you can work something out. It's not to late to be happy and make up for lost time .
Bear in mind we are just people strangers on the internet and your better off talking to someone who knows your situation better than us,

Good Luck