Anyone else feel like this?

[eva_d]

HELLO,
Still looking around at the different discussion boards, and trying to learn to navigate. Have never joined a forum b4, mostly search the Internet for information and do a lot of emailing with family, friends, and friends I've met online via penpal websites. Not too computer savy. My generation learned to type on those ancient manual typewriters! Love reading the romantic erotica. Some of the writers are very imaginative, and their stories impress me a lot (and turn me on!) Read this stuff for lack of "action" in the marriage. Could be the fact that the "knot" has been tied just short of 40 years. Still try to look good, watch my weight, wear up to date styles acceptable for a 50 something woman and try to look sexy. Hubby just the opposite. Doesn't take care of himself, doesn't care what he looks like, is overweight which is causing health issues. Never wants to do anything fun together. Doesn't seem impressed when I try to look sexy for him. Just wants me to be lazy like him. I'm a quiet, private person and enjoy the freedom of being lazy if I want to, but mostly like to keep busy and try new things. Feels like soon I'll become reclusive and it's down hill from here.
Come from the generation that got married very young. Now, I'm healthy enough for my age, still young enough to enjoy life since the kids are grown and gone. Have been with one man my entire life and feeling like I've missed out on something. Anyone else feel like this? Still feel like this site is more for younger folks, but was told that there are a few 50 something (and over) members.
Would love to hear comments from folks who may be in or have be[I]en in similar situations and how they've felt about it and/or what they've done about it.
Thanks from eva_d

 

[bobsgirl]

eva_d, welcome to Lit!

There are people of every age here! I know of several who haven't seen their 20's and 30's for quite a number of years. Um, that would also include me. If you're friendly, and aren't squeamish about talking about everything under the sun including sex, this is the place for you.

I hope you stick around so we can get to know you!

HELLO,
Still looking around at the different discussion boards, and trying to learn to navigate. Have never joined a forum b4, mostly search the Internet for information and do a lot of emailing with family, friends, and friends I've met online via penpal websites. Not too computer savy. My generation learned to type on those ancient manual typewriters! Love reading the romantic erotica. Some of the writers are very imaginative, and their stories impress me a lot (and turn me on!) Read this stuff for lack of "action" in the marriage. Could be the fact that the "knot" has been tied just short of 40 years. Still try to look good, watch my weight, wear up to date styles acceptable for a 50 something woman and try to look sexy. Hubby just the opposite. Doesn't take care of himself, doesn't care what he looks like, is overweight which is causing health issues. Never wants to do anything fun together. Doesn't seem impressed when I try to look sexy for him. Just wants me to be lazy like him. I'm a quiet, private person and enjoy the freedom of being lazy if I want to, but mostly like to keep busy and try new things. Feels like soon I'll become reclusive and it's down hill from here.
Come from the generation that got married very young. Now, I'm healthy enough for my age, still young enough to enjoy life since the kids are grown and gone. Have been with one man my entire life and feeling like I've missed out on something. Anyone else feel like this? Still feel like this site is more for younger folks, but was told that there are a few 50 something (and over) members.
Would love to hear comments from folks who may be in or have be[I]en in similar situations and how they've felt about it and/or what they've done about it.
Thanks from eva_d

 

[SweetErika]

HELLO,
Still looking around at the different discussion boards, and trying to learn to navigate. Have never joined a forum b4, mostly search the Internet for information and do a lot of emailing with family, friends, and friends I've met online via penpal websites. Not too computer savy. My generation learned to type on those ancient manual typewriters!

Love reading the romantic erotica. Some of the writers are very imaginative, and their stories impress me a lot (and turn me on!) Read this stuff for lack of "action" in the marriage. Could be the fact that the "knot" has been tied just short of 40 years. Still try to look good, watch my weight, wear up to date styles acceptable for a 50 something woman and try to look sexy.

Hubby just the opposite. Doesn't take care of himself, doesn't care what he looks like, is overweight which is causing health issues. Never wants to do anything fun together. Doesn't seem impressed when I try to look sexy for him. Just wants me to be lazy like him. I'm a quiet, private person and enjoy the freedom of being lazy if I want to, but mostly like to keep busy and try new things. Feels like soon I'll become reclusive and it's down hill from here.

Come from the generation that got married very young. Now, I'm healthy enough for my age, still young enough to enjoy life since the kids are grown and gone. Have been with one man my entire life and feeling like I've missed out on something. Anyone else feel like this?

Still feel like this site is more for younger folks, but was told that there are a few 50 something (and over) members.

Would love to hear comments from folks who may be in or have be[I]en in similar situations and how they've felt about it and/or what they've done about it.
Thanks from eva_d

It's great to have you here with us, Eva!

I'm a young'n, but there are most certainly a lot of members in the 45-65 range in this community, so I'm sure you'll have no problem meeting friends in your age group!

You're definitely not alone in regards to your feelings about your relationship; in my time here, I've seen many post about the type of situation you've described. Quite a few of us also started relationships young and identify with wanting to explore our sexualities, and get rid of that nagging feeling of missing out, so you're not alone there either. There are many great threads with suggestions and support for all of this. If you don't find something to your liking, feel free to start a new one (I think one dealing specifically with the missing out issue would be great)!

Anyway, welcome, and feel free to let us know if you have any questions! If you haven't done so already, be sure to check out the sticky threads at the very top of the main How To page, as they're a wealth of info on sexuality and how this place works!

 

[LukkyKnight]

Your thread probably won't persist long in the How To forum, it's fairly discussion oriented.

There are a number of people um... over 30 here. You've wandered into a large party, with lots of rooms, be careful and don't lose your purse. Only lose your panties if you want to (in which case might I suggest either posting pics, in the Amateur Pictures area, or talking about it on the General Board, which is definitely raucous.)

 

[wally2450]

Welcome to Lit! All of this site might not be your cup of tea, just like it is for me. Stay and look around!

 

[LadyG]

I think this post is much better in here

 

[midwestyankee]

Welcome, eva_d, from a Litster who is far north of 40. I came here for reasons not at all unlike yours and have stayed for the converstations, the friendships that have developed, and for some really good times.

Pay attention to "young'un Erika - she is wise far beyond her years and one of our most treasured assets here in the How To region of Litland.

Poke around the various forums and I'm sure you'll find places that appeal to you. The conversation here in HT Cafe is generally very civil, perhaps a bit more than in some other forums.

Enjoy!

 

[PowerLifter84]

Welcome!

I feel like a little kid now at the ripe age of 23, LOL!

 

[emptynester]

Welcome Eva_d. I am a newcomer to Lit, too. Not to make you feel bad but my husband and I wandered into this by accident one night. Our boys recently left the nest and we found ourselves really interested in trying new things. We have learned a BUNCH from this forum. The first and only thread we started we actually didn't begin in the right place. One person was really kind and responded both to our question and where we would have been better to post. Then he gave us other sites within the forum to check with regard to our question. I have spent a lot of time looking through different parts to try and become more familiar with how this works. The one thing I am not sure of is what "Bump" means within a thread. If anyone can clear that up for me I would appreciate it.
I mostly read other people's posts at the moment. I sleep maybe 4 - 6 hours a night and find I can't sleep anymore. Sooo I check out the posts and soak in as much as I can.
I really like the support that people give others here. It is really amazing.
Both my husband and I are in our late 40's. I love to read posts from both the older generation (only slightly) and the younger ones too. I spend a lot more time on here than he does. Mainly because he has to get up so early in the morning for work and I am an 8-5.
Anyway, welcome. I will look forward to reading what others have to say about your situation. Good luck.

 

[bobsgirl]

Welcome Eva_d. I am a newcomer to Lit, too. Not to make you feel bad but my husband and I wandered into this by accident one night. Our boys recently left the nest and we found ourselves really interested in trying new things. We have learned a BUNCH from this forum. The first and only thread we started we actually didn't begin in the right place. One person was really kind and responded both to our question and where we would have been better to post. Then he gave us other sites within the forum to check with regard to our question. I have spent a lot of time looking through different parts to try and become more familiar with how this works. The one thing I am not sure of is what "Bump" means within a thread. If anyone can clear that up for me I would appreciate it.
I mostly read other people's posts at the moment. I sleep maybe 4 - 6 hours a night and find I can't sleep anymore. Sooo I check out the posts and soak in as much as I can.
I really like the support that people give others here. It is really amazing.
Both my husband and I are in our late 40's. I love to read posts from both the older generation (only slightly) and the younger ones too. I spend a lot more time on here than he does. Mainly because he has to get up so early in the morning for work and I am an 8-5.
Anyway, welcome. I will look forward to reading what others have to say about your situation. Good luck.

When a thread is "bumped", it means someone's found an older thread that may not be on the front page any more, and to generate new interest in it, they add a new post. Thus, "bumping" it to the front page.

The post can literally say something like: A bump for a great thread.

 

[emptynester]

Thanks BG, I still have a lot to learn. I have one son who can do anything and everything on computers. Even builds them, but I can't really ask him for help. He would be shocked to think his parents were still interested in sex. "My three sons" basically think we have done it a total of 3 times in our 26 years of marriage.

If they only knew!

Thanks for the help.

 

[bobsgirl]

Thanks BG, I still have a lot to learn. I have one son who can do anything and everything on computers. Even builds them, but I can't really ask him for help. He would be shocked to think his parents were still interested in sex. "My three sons" basically think we have done it a total of 3 times in our 26 years of marriage.

If they only knew!

Thanks for the help.

My parents never had sex either. And they had seven kids.

 

[MagicFingers]

Hi, Kid!

Welcome, Eva.
Yep, there are many older, yet still sexual, people here in Lit.

It's too bad your spouse has let himself go. Too many people do that, men and women. I'm 5'10 1/2" 180lbs, get plenty of exercise, When my aches and pains aren't too bad. lol

I enjoy reading the stories too. Great stimulation and distraction from the worries of real life. So, go check out the "Try this and report back" thread; a thread that get well-deserved "Bumps" from time to time so that newbies like you can discover wonderous new things to try to liven up your life.

And, like someone else suggested, step carefully into the GB (General Board). It can get vicious there for an unsuspecting virgin.
Yes, you are a virgin again. That label will go away after you post a while.
Enjoy it and keep coming back as they say.

 

[bobsgirl]

Magic Fingers! Nice to see you!

Eva_d, I too have only been with one man, and I relate to the feeling of having missed out on something. Something that everyone else knows about but you. It's what brought me to Lit in the first place.

It really is too bad that your husband has grown complacent and disinterested. But that doesn't mean you have to be. Have you tried talking to him about it? Could there be a physical or mental health issue that needs to be addressed?

Continue on your search. Read the stories, and maybe try your hand at writing one. A few years ago, I never would have believed that I would be able to string a few words together into a sentence, let alone write about sex.

I think it's great that you took a chance and introduced yourself. It took me many months to get up the nerve to do that. Once again, welcome!

 

[Mazuri]

Greetings! In many ways, I suppose I'm a lot like your husband, but in others, most definitely not.

After my daughter was born, I dropped the weight and within a few months was even slimmer than before I got pregnant (chasing an early crawler is a good workout!). Then the military took us to Germany, away from my mom only 6 months after my parents' split, away from my job, away from everything I knew. Don't get me wrong, I loved Germany, but the first 6 months I sunk deep into depression when alone and simply covered it up when my hubby was home. Somehow I felt he should be psychic and know I was miserable, so when he didn't pick up on it, I grew resentful and that kept hold of me for years. During all this, I really let myself go...didn't work out, ate too much, sat at the computer too often and gained a lot of weight. When my husband told me very plainly that he no longer found me physically attractive, I sunk even further. It also totally killed any desire I had for him as I felt we only had sex when he had been drinking or when he was just too horny to care.

I'm just now digging my way out of that hole, but with even less confidence than I had before (he's never denied that he still feels that way). So, please, talk to your spouse. See if he's battling with inner demons that you may not be aware of. Hubby doesn't even remember making that comment to me so never would have picked up on that being the reason for a lot of my issues. It was a comment made out of carelessness, I believe, and yet I don't even have to think hard to remember it. It's always there, perhaps larger in importance than it really should be, but it's what sends me to the anonymous acceptance of the computer and my comfort foods over and over and thus compounds the problems.

Talk to your spouse. Ask him to see a doctor as well. And I wish you luck

 

[kaledonia]

after trying everything else.....

....to no avail, I would honestly suggest you trade hubby in for another model. don't mean to sound callous, but you are obviously up for more than seems to be offered, and certainly have much to give too. I traded a couple of years ago and will never look back. still friends with the kids' dad, but life moves on, and new SO fulfills my every fantasy!