Any thoughts will be usefull for me.

[M527]

Ok,

This may be a little different than what most people post here, but I need some advice on the subject.

First, to let everyone know, this is not about sex, at least not yet. There's a girl that I want to date. She's been a really close friend of mine for the last couple of years. We've been able to share things about anything in our lives, from sex to how's school going.

But within the last couple of months, I see myself looking at her differently. I notice how attrative she is and how much I want to spend time with her.

My feelings started turning this way when we started joking about us being a couple. In our group of friends, we're they only two that doesn't have a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't want to ruin our friendship by telling her how I feel, especially if she doesn't have the same feelings, but at the same time I want to know exactly how she feels about me.

Does anyone know how I should proceed? Any ideas would be usefull.

 

[Bobtoad777]

women are fickle creatures from my experince which is very very limited. Take the chance and tell her how you feel and be strong incase she rejects the notion

 

[Wizard]

If it was me and I felt the way you do I would roll the dice and talk with her about it...can you go thru life wondering what if...............

 

[Samuari]

I was very lucky to have fallen in love with my best freind. We knew each other for a year and ahalf before we had our first date, and that was keep us each from going to a party stag. Gradually, it reached a point that I could not imagine a life with out her in it, and she agreed to become my bride. Twentyfive years and four children later, and my heart still skips a beat when she walks into the room.

So, my advise, like the wiz's, is to talk to her. Yesterday.

 

[M527]

ok,

but what happens if she doesn't have the same feelings? will that ruin our friendship?

 

[MADDOG]

Not if she truly likes you as a friend. It may be awkard for a time, but push on with the friendship and things will be back to normal in no time.

MADDOG

 

[skitch]

i agree with Wizard

You don't want to go the rest of your life wondering what coulda been....

I'm sure if she doesn't feel the same way, she'll tell you and still be your friend. The question is if YOU will be able to still be just her friend. You never know..maybe you two are meant to be together, it's just not the right time for it.

take the chance

 

[*Eve*]

Tell her how yo feel, if she's a real friend, she'll stick around. The worst she can do is say that she doesn't feel the same and that won't kill you.

 

[SpecialK]

Been there... got the tshirt.

Yup, ya gotta tell her. And if your friendship is a good one (best friends status) it will survive.

I was in a similar situation once. My bestest friend in the whole wide world is a wonderful human being and I can honestly say that I love him more than any other man in my life.

When I first realized that I had such strong feelings for him, I thought that they were of a romantic origin. And even though he was in a relationship at the time, I couldn't stand not telling him how I felt. He was asking me for relationship advice and I didn't know how to deal with that. And I was getting to the point where I felt that our friendship was going to be jeopardized if I couldn't tell him how I felt.

Well, when I told him, he was great about it. Told me he was flattered, and that if he wasn't in a relationship, who knew what might happen. He was glad that I told him. It meant a lot to him that I would confide something like that to him.

Well, this was several years ago, and I have come to realize that I don't love him in a romantic way, but I love him more than I would a brother. <shrug> It's odd but really good. And since that confession, our relationship has been better than ever.

So, my advice, go for it. Tell her how you feel. Good luck!

K

 

[enjuedevi88]

My advice.

I am marrying my best friend next August, and heres' what happened:
We were best friends for two years, then we began spending all of our free time together, just doing friend stuff; talking on the phone for hours, the whole nine yards. Then, slowly, he began throwing subtle, ever so slight hints into everyday conversation that was a little more than just friendly. But it was so subtle I didn't even realize what was going on. It came about very slowly and naturally, and all of a sudden, we both knew that we wanted each other in every possible way.
So, my advice to you is...play it subtle. Don't shock her with the news because she may have never entertained the idea that you could like her that way. Just gently throw out hints when you're with her, touch her hand, her hair, give more hugs and backrubs, ease her into the idea that being with you and being close to you feels good. Moving too fast may scare her off entirely.
Good luck, friend. You sound like a really good person and I hope it works out for you.
Love,
enj

 

[Guest]

I would definitely say to ease into it, don't just blurt out that you want to be her boyfriend. A similar thing happened to me, my best guy friend and I were just hanging out like we always do, and he asked me out. I said yes, because I love him as a friend and thought he would make the perfect boyfriend. Definitely the wrong thing to do. Our relationship didn't work out, and I ended up hurting him, which killed me to do. But I just could not have him as a boyfriend, basically because I had never thought of him like that. When he kissed me, it was so strange, as if I was kissing my brother. I think if he had waited and just flirted for awhile, I might have been able to see him in more of a sexual way, instead of just the guy I fart in front of...

 

[Skitten]

Talk to her you never know unless you try

 

[Samuari]

Tell her how yo feel, if she's a real friend, she'll stick around. The worst she can do is say that she doesn't feel the same and that won't kill you.

But you may wish that it had! It is worth the risk, because the rewards are so great if you are sucessfull. Remember, though that men are usally much more romantic then women, and so we are more likly to get our feelings walked on. On the positive side it usally the guy that notices that the couple should be more than freinds, and figures out a way to bring it to her attention. Good luck!