Any insight based on your experience?

[thehermes69]

My wife and I have talked about experimenting sexualy before with another individual (M or F) or couple. I have wanted to explore my bi side forinstance. For her it has always been something to try "later on in the future" while I do not want to wait so long. Now she says as long as they pass an STD test.

However, she seems ambivalent about her actual participation. Would you consider it significant that she actally be there (or not) the first time.

I consider myself bi and she curious.

 

[Guest]

Well, it's nice if she'll be there... it makes it somehow even more erotic, or possibly more comforting with her present.
But, as long as you find a suitable partner, being alone with him the first time may be the best way to go. It gives you an opportunity to reach your own level of comfort on your own, without feeling like you have to perform for her.
In either case, good luck!!!

 

[alaskabibear]

My wife and I have talked about experimenting sexualy before with another individual (M or F) or couple. I have wanted to explore my bi side forinstance. For her it has always been something to try "later on in the future" while I do not want to wait so long. Now she says as long as they pass an STD test.

However, she seems ambivalent about her actual participation. Would you consider it significant that she actally be there (or not) the first time.

I consider myself bi and she curious.

Couple of thoughts (since you asked);

1. STD tests are not the end all of safe sex. You should realize that you can show up clean on an HIV test for several months after coming into contact with the disease (there are some good posts here on this subject - you should become thoroughly educated first before you have sex with a person outside of your marriage) Bottom line, I think you need to know and trust the person you bring into the marriage plus do frequent testing.

2. Sounds to me like your wife may not be ready to do this. Be sure you're not going to let your own sexual need ruin something more important. If she isn't ready and is only going along to please you, I think it will blow-up in your face later.

Good luck!

 

[Curious_Sub]

Couple of thoughts (since you asked);

1. STD tests are not the end all of safe sex. You should realize that you can show up clean on an HIV test for several months after coming into contact with the disease (there are some good posts here on this subject - you should become thoroughly educated first before you have sex with a person outside of your marriage) Bottom line, I think you need to know and trust the person you bring into the marriage plus do frequent testing.

I did not know that. I figured we had gotten the tests to a pretty reliable Yes or No point. Thanks for the info.

 

[justwantmore]

It'll never happen here. No way she wants anyone in between. Neither do I and it's the main reason why I have't done that fantasy of mine..........

 

[Pattythebelle]

I have wanted to explore my bi side forinstance. For her it has always been something to try "later on in the future" while I do not want to wait so long. Now she says as long as they pass an STD test.

However, she seems ambivalent about her actual participation. Would you consider it significant that she actally be there (or not) the first time.

I consider myself bi and she curious.

This is one of those situations where communication between you and your wife is a must. If at anytime she feels uncomfortable about it, she is not ready to deal with it. Talk and make sure that there isn't an underlieing reason she is "ambivalent".

Also remember that if you go out on your own without her, she is willing to live with that. If you do make sure you talk about the feeling when you come home and NOT just the act.

 

[warwood]

It depends.

I think my wifes initial interest was just to see what would happen, her curiosity to somehow participate without being committed to doing anything she didn't want to.
That's why I made the first move in our relationship, but she quickly followed. She always said there wasn't anything more exciting for her to see then me and another guy getting friendly.