Any GLBT Parents?

[ravenmx]

I am new on Lit and found this forum, I spend quite a bit of time reading the threads.

This thread may be a bit serous, but being a lesbian mom with a 16-year-old son, it does pique my interest.

If your a parent with a opposite sex child does your child have good role models of the same sex?

Mine does not and I often fear for him as he grows up to be a man. How will he know what a "man" is? Hell I don't even know what a "man" is.

Sure he will know how to treat a women (hopefully, or a man depending), he will know women get bitchy every month so stay away (his words not mine), he will know what it is like to have a open mind and hopefully not spend his entire life living narrow mindedly but…

I worry about his sexuality as well. Sure, I am open-minded and therefore if he decides he is gay then fine. I am glad he has chosen his path and has the ability to stick to it. After all I am a lesbian, have been for 15 years, been in a committed relationship for 10 years but…

I am not sure I want my son growing up gay. I assume that makes me a hypocrite, but I don't want him living the life that I have.

Always having to make up stories using he this, he that. Declining parties that require significant others because mine is a woman. I mean I have finally just said screw you if you don't like me for me then your are not worthy of my friendship but…

I am not sure I want my son to have to do that.

We have spoken about his sexuality. He is still "not sure". Of course he is 16, I think at that age you're not sure of anything. Nevertheless, how will I help him decide his sexuality? After all, I am sure most boys don't like talking to their mothers about sex, who it is with and why they had it.

Oh, well just some thoughts I had. Maybe I can find some guidance from this thread. Or, at least, other parents that might have the same thoughts.

 

[CJontherocks]

I gave this an awful lot of thought, and finally came up with a quite simple response:

Hooey.

You love your son. He knows that, right? If you do good things and treat people as you want to be treated, and you're honest and show love for those you hold dearly, then you are a good role model. Period.

He will make his own choices. You won't agree with all of them, and you won't be able to change many of them... none, in fact, if you've taught him to be strong and stand by his convictions. You'll be surprised at how proud he makes you at times.

He, and only he, will decide his sexuality. I don't believe you can, or should, help him with that. But you can show him that it really doesn't matter to you what his sexuality is.

The bottom line is this: There will be a great many things from which you cannot protect him. But you can prepare him to meet those challenges, whatever they are.

 

[deezire1900]

If your a parent with a opposite sex child does your child have good role models of the same sex?

My dad raised me, true I am a lesbian, but I am really a girlie-girl.

I think we find role models in our lives. My best friends mom, my English teacher, and my aunt.

I don't know where you live, but sending your son away to college might be a good idea. Pick an area where he can just be himself, and the kids are more excepting (or at least a big city)...that way if he is gay, he wont have to hide it.

I know college saved many of my lesbian sisters.

 

[Angel]

I think your son will most likely grow up more well-adjusted and self-aware than most teenagers.

 

[CJontherocks]

I think your son will most likely grow up more well-adjusted and self-aware than most teenagers.

Amen!

 

[ravenmx]

Thanks all for the insight and thoughts to everyone that has posted. Everyone has provided alot of thought to their posts and it is much appreciated.

Very few of my gay or lesbian friends have children, to them children are foriegn.

I do hope he grows up well-adjusted and standing strong in his convictions. Sometimes there is a fine line between standing strong and being overbearing. A art he has yet to perfect. But in retrospect is it a art anyone really perfects?

We live in small town about 45 minutes away from Minneapolis so as he gets his license he can start moving on from the small town BS. if you every have kids and someone tells you a small town is the best place to raise them, run very fast for something bigger.

"The bottom line is this: There will be a great many things from which you cannot protect him. But you can prepare him to meet those challenges, whatever they are. CJontherocks"

Sometimes it is hard not protecting. In many ways he is very introverted and has few friends. But in hindsight everyone is always telling me it is time to start letting go.

I really just have to wonder where all the time went it seems like only yesterday he was still two.

http://english.literotica.com/stori...age=submissions[/URL]

 

[CJontherocks]

Yes, much easier said than done. We will always feel a need to shelter our children from the pains we had to endure. Sometimes I've felt that's how I redeem myself for the mistakes I've made... so that my children can learn from them. Didn't always work like that, though. But they grew up strong and smart, and are a source of much fatherly pride that will last me the rest of my life.

 

[ravenmx]

I think back to when I was 16 and the only thing I had to worry about and learn from was whether or not I was liked.

Now a days kids have to worry about so much more. If they grow up to be happy, healthy, honest, loving and successful then you know you did a good job.

 

[deezire1900]

I know that growing up in a small town in MN is not easy...my town has 6000 when I was little, now I think it is closer to 10K.

Looking back, my friends didn't know much about my dad...i don't think they cared. He was just my dad. True, my dad was straight, but he also liked to date much younger girls (25-30), and that was awkard for me.

PM me if you want to chat with another MN Girl.
I am SouthWest of Mpls.

 

[mystic_maiden32]

I think your son will most likely grow up more well-adjusted and self-aware than most teenagers.

ditto