Another Wacky Election Day in the Republic of Chads

[shereads]

Oops!' in Broward County (Ft. Lauderdale):

Two hours after polls opened this morning, one polling place began turning voters away because of a problem with the performance of new e-voting machines. One voter told reporters she asked a poll volunteer what time she should return to vote and was advised, "How the hell should I know?" "

That's not the bad news. This is: the closure was made necessary when a spot-check of the machines' performance showed that votes were not being accurately recorded. Since there's no paper record, a poll worker admitted to TV reporters that there's no way to know how many, if any, votes may have been discarded or mis-credited by the machines during the two hours before the problem was found.

As you say in Australia, croiky.

THE GOOD NEWS:

Republicans eat their young! Remember Kathryn Harris, the former Florida secretary of state who, when fewer than 1000 votes separated Bush and Gore in 2000, bypassed the legally mandated statewide recount and called the election for the candidate whose campaign she happened to co-chair, which in no way influenced her decision? Yes, that Kathryn Harris.

Her Senate run suffered an embarrassing setback recently at a campaign event for Florida Republicans. Dubya and first brother Jeb, outgoing governor of Florida and Harris' former boss, called other party hopefuls and bigwigs to the podium for a group hug/photo op; Harris, who was in the audience, stayed there. An optimist could look at this way: they thought she might want to distance her candidacy from the president like the Republican candidate for Jeb's old job, and they saved her the trouble.

Teehee.

I have to go vote now.



Wish me luck. We have a new batch of voting machines in Miami-Dade County, replacing the new machines we bought from Diebold in 2004. Apparently those were disposable, like plastic shaving razors.

 

[shereads]

Other countries, including Third World:

Please send advisors to monitor our next election. This democracy thing is largely based on voting.

We've pretty much perfected the buying and selling of voting machines. The part we're having a problem with is the actual voting and counting.

See Jimmy Carter for details.

 

[Pure]

don't worry sher,

the Republicans do not rely on silly machines for victory; a number of more solid measures are in place, such as gerrymandering and various means of disqualifying, discouraging or intimidating voters, esp. the not so white.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Next election, we'll send you a shipment of sheets of paper with the candidates' names and photos, each followed by a little square where people can draw an X with a ball-pen.

 

[shereads]

don't worry sher,

the Republicans do not rely on silly machines for victory; a number of more solid measures are in place, such as gerrymandering and various means of disqualifying, discouraging or intimidating voters, esp. the not so white.

I just found out we're not using e-machines this year. We have a choice of old-fashioned paper-and-pencil voting, via carrier pigeon; or communicating our votes psychically to a team of parapsychologists at the University of Helsinki.

 

[shereads]

Next election, we'll send you a shipment of sheets of paper with the candidates' names and photos, each followed by a little square where people can draw an X with a ball-pen.

Can we keep the carrier pigeons?

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Can we keep the carrier pigeons?

You can have them for lunch!

 

[sophia jane]

What I've found interesting in the reporting of voting problems is the number of problems in states with close races- coincedence???

 

[Liar]

Next election, we'll send you a shipment of sheets of paper with the candidates' names and photos, each followed by a little square where people can draw an X with a ball-pen.

You've got photos on yours? Now I'm jealous. We have to make do with just names and boxes here.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Can we keep the carrier pigeons?

Yes, i suggest rubbing them over with garlic and lime before putting them in the oven.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

You've got photos on yours? Now I'm jealous.

Only for the presidentials, really. For other elections it's just the party's logo.

 

[3113]

I just found out we're not using e-machines this year. We have a choice of old-fashioned paper-and-pencil voting, via carrier pigeon; or communicating our votes psychically to a team of parapsychologists at the University of Helsinki.

I say, go for the psychic votes. I trust the guys in Helsinki.

 

[gauchecritic]

Yes, i suggest rubbing them over with garlic and lime before putting them in the oven.

But neck 'em first and pluck their little fluffy feathers out of their still warm pink carcasses and then slit their gizzards and pull out their innards for a delicous wholesome gravy, otherwise they just hop around in the oven shitting everywhere.

 

[TxRad]

But neck 'em first and pluck their little fluffy feathers out of their still warm pink carcasses and then slit their gizzards and pull out their innards for a delicous wholesome gravy, otherwise they just hop around in the oven shitting everywhere.

LMFAO......

And who says there's no humor in political threads......

Great visial by the way and I like the recipe.......

 

[wazhazhe]

Here is how they deal with voting problems in Kentucky.

Poll Worker Chokes Voter

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) -- A poll worker was arrested Tuesday and charged with assault and interfering with an election for allegedly choking a voter and pushing the voter out the door, an official said.

Election officials called police, and the voter wanted to file charges, said Paula McCraney, a spokeswoman for the Jefferson County Clerk.

"That about tops off the day," McCraney said.

It wasn't immediately clear what sparked the altercation. The name of the poll worker was not released and a Louisville police spokesman did not immediately return calls seeking comment.

 

[TxRad]

We don't have many problems around here... We still use the white stone, black stone..... Uh... wait..... sorry, that's for the Tribal Council elections.....

Indian's have enough problems without messing around with outside politics....

 

[wazhazhe]

We don't have many problems around here... We still use the white stone, black stone..... Uh... wait..... sorry, that's for the Tribal Council elections.....

My tribe is on the cutting edge of technology. We use our knives to put a mark on the Osage Big Buffalo Skin™ ballot.

Indian's have enough problems without messing around with outside politics....

Ain’t it the truth.

 

[SeaCat]

No problems that I have heard about here.

My wife and I went to vote at about 0900. Of course there was quite the crowd at the polling place. Mostly reps for the candidates, Poll Workers and of course Police.

Made our way through the gauntlet of Candidate Reps with nary a problem. Maybe it was because when they came close I growled at them. Maybe it was because I was dressed in Denims, Boots, T-Shirt, (My they Bled one.) Headband with my hair down, sunglasses and half gloves. Maybe it was because I had just eaten an omelet heavy with Onions and Garlic but they stayed back.

We checked in, had our ID's verified then voted. No pain.

Cat

 

[mack_the_knife]

No problems that I have heard about here.

My wife and I went to vote at about 0900. Of course there was quite the crowd at the polling place. Mostly reps for the candidates, Poll Workers and of course Police.

Made our way through the gauntlet of Candidate Reps with nary a problem. Maybe it was because when they came close I growled at them. Maybe it was because I was dressed in Denims, Boots, T-Shirt, (My they Bled one.) Headband with my hair down, sunglasses and half gloves. Maybe it was because I had just eaten an omelet heavy with Onions and Garlic but they stayed back.

We checked in, had our ID's verified then voted. No pain.

Cat

Police! IDs! Crowds! Damn, you were disenfranchised!

 

[Tuomas]

Yer don't mean to say us "third world"-ers are going to have to teach you Americans how to vote?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

We have it easy here in Bumblefuck, Illinois. We've graduated from poking chads with a stick to filling in the circles with a Bic pen. Then you put your ballot into a box and you get a cookie and a sticker.

 

[glynndah]

We have it easy here in Bumblefuck, Illinois. We've graduated from poking chads with a stick to filling in the circles with a Bic pen. Then you put your ballot into a box and you get a cookie and a sticker.

Hey, I didn't get a cookie. The poll worker apologized because she couldn't remember my name. She said it was my fault because I'd cut my hair. My husband voted earlier. The poll worker said "Bob, right?" and had his paperwork ready before he got to the table. There were four voters. The workers said it was the "rush."

 

[SeaCat]

Police! IDs! Crowds! Damn, you were disenfranchised!

Disenfranchised hell. One little old lady waved a sign in my faceproclaiming I would burn in hell for voting against her chosen Godling. I belched in her face and watched as she wilted almost as badly as the flowers in her absurd little hat. (I did mention my Omelet with plenty of Garlic and Onions right? Did I mention the quantities of Hot Sauce to give it a bit of a bite?)

Cat

 

[cantdog]

For so long now the Republicans have forgotten the party’s traditional philosophy:

* Responsible fiscal management,
* Keep government out of people’s lives unless it is a situation that only government can handle better,
* Responsible — non-interventionist foreign policy,
* Aggressive stewardship of the country’s natural environment,
* Tireless protection of personal freedom — and cherishing liberty,
* Demand reason and evidence and passionate not hateful or angry conduct in the formulation of public policy as opposed to ideology and divisiveness

They gave up the damn center — and no one has had the brains to step up and take it for their own.

If you added some thoughts on caring for those who can not care for themselves, being a leader in the world not by force but my example, and a commitment to respecting and rebuilding the American middle class you would have a truly radical centrist platform. A platform that candidates and a national party could run and win on.

Instead, the mothers have had to cheat, and the Dems, every bit as beholden to special pleading from the money in the country as anyone, have been unsure what to do.

We need an election reform in this place such that no corporations shall be henceforth allowed to contribute. Until then, we shall have what we have.

Locally, almost no one running for city governement gives a fuck about running a city. They all have some kind of personal agenda. One wants to have his properties designated 'historic' so that he may be relieved of some property tax; one wants a former City property released to him so he may complete his bus terminal facility, and the list goes on. If anyone cared about running a city, the issues might appear.

Same with the national picture. The government has been about the oil companies, the empire, the pharmaceutical companies, and not about the middle-class issues. These people have no clue how to represent their own supposed constituency, because the real support, the real money, has been coming from companies and multinationals, not human beings, and they know all too well what powers they need to reckon with.

 

[AngeloMichael]

Is it just me or do the reporters on Fox News look like they were sucking on lemons as they read the election results?