Another shocking animal sex tale

[Guest]

I love that the beast is called a 'lad'. - Perdita

Rhino gets hot and heavy with a Renault - Reuters News Service, April 22, 2004

LONDON - A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.

"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.

 

[SeaCat]

I didn't know Rhino lived in a safariland and had a bent this way.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Isn't it amazing what animals will do? Ever been to the Monkey House with little ones in tow, then have to try and explain what the monkeys are doing? (I watched my Brother and his wife go through this and almost died laughing.)

SeaCat

 

[shereads]

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie

Dave's partner Trixie, or Sharka's?

Perdita, this reminds me of a Yorkshire Terrier at my local dog park, who always zeros in on the largest dog in the park - male, female, neutered or not - and exhausts himself trying to hurl himself to the necessary height to, uh, ask for a date. Today's love object was a doberman pinscher. I'm not sure she ever even realized he was there, but he gave it his best attempt.

 

[shereads]

I didn't know Rhino lived in a safariland and had a bent this way.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Isn't it amazing what animals will do? Ever been to the Monkey House with little ones in tow, then have to try and explain what the monkeys are doing? (I watched my Brother and his wife go through this and almost died laughing.)

SeaCat

I heard a zoo parent explain a Galapagos Tortoise lovefest this way: "That turtle is trying to go over there to the pool, but the other turtle won't get out of his way."

 

[Guest]

Sher, Yorkshire males are so odd, I know.

Perdita

 

[shereads]

Sher, Yorkshire males are so odd, I know.

Perdita

Yes, from what I've heard, male yorkies with opposable thumbs, two legs instead of four, and brains larger than a coffee bean, can be dangerous.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I hope and prey that I will never, ever see a rhinocerous' penis.

 

[minsue]

I didn't know where else to post this...

There are so many things wrong with this. I don't even know where to begin...

Officials Seize Giant Snails From Schools
Mon Apr 26, 7:59 PM ET

By JULIET WILLIAMS, Associated Press Writer

MILWAUKEE - Federal health officials have seized several dangerous pests called Giant African Land Snails from Wisconsin classrooms and have started a national search for the creatures, which reproduce rapidly, destroy plants and can transmit meningitis.

The snails, which are illegal to have in the United States, were used in classrooms by unwitting school officials, said Willie Harris, eastern regional director of the U.S. Department of Agriculture's Safeguarding, Intervention and Trade Compliance Program.

Snails have been seized in the past month from Wisconsin cities including Big Bend, Menasha and Milwaukee. Officials so far have not found any others elsewhere.

They are concerned the snails, about the size of a person's hand, could be transported to states with warmer climates, where they can rapidly reproduce and destroy plants.

In 1966, a Miami boy smuggled three Giant African Land Snails into the country. His grandmother eventually released them into a garden, and in seven years there were more than 18,000 of them. The eradication program took 10 years, according to the USDA.

Five of the snails donated to Nicolet Elementary School in Menasha by a parent were seized after teachers learned they were illegal, said the school's principal, Linda Joosten.

"They were very cool creatures," Joosten said.

The snails, native to Africa but also found in parts of Asia, are known to consume as many as 500 different plants and their mucous can transmit meningitis.

Snail smugglers can face fines of up to $1,000 per charge. Harris said people who have the snails without knowing they are illegal will not face punishment.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Mindy, I love you dearly, but you have to stop reading this shit!!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Mindy, I love you dearly, but you have to stop reading this shit!!!!!!!!

 

[shereads]

Deadly Snails with Humongous Appetitites and Virus-Bearing Mucous?

Bring 'em on.

Maybe our giant poison toads will eat them.

Bufo Marinaris. A toad the size of a dinner plate. Looks like Jabba the Hut. Secretes a poison that kills hundreds of dogs and cats in South Florida each year. My dog would have died if I hadn't seen her staggering and foaming at the mouth when she discovered Jabba in a stand of ferns. Rinsed her mouth with the hose and rushed her to the vet, and she eventually recovered.

The giant poison toads were imported in the 40's by some farmer whose thinking apparently went like this: "Toads eat bugs; giant toads will eat even more bugs."
No, the adult Jabba eats birds, rodents, dog and cat food.

I called the department of agriculture.

Me: "There are giant poison toads in my yard. How do I get rid of them?"

She: "I would frizz them."

Me: "Frizz them?"

She: "Put them in the frizzer, in a zip-lock bag. They go to sleep and don't wake up."

Me: "I don't actually have these toads in my possession. I want to know how to keep them out of my yard."

She: "Frizzing is the most humane way."

 

[Guest]

Re: Deadly Snails with Humongous Appetitites and Virus-Bearing Mucous?

"Frizzing is the most humane way."

Tee-shirt slogan for Svenska. With pic of a man though.

with evil, Perdita

 

[Guest]

I love that the beast is called a 'lad'. - Perdita

Rhino gets hot and heavy with a Renault - Reuters News Service, April 22, 2004

LONDON - A rampant rhinoceros gave a group of visitors a glimpse of nature in the raw at a British safari park when he tried to have sex with their car.

Sharka, a two-ton white rhino, got amorous with Dave Alsop's car when he stopped with three friends to take pictures of the animal mating with his partner Trixie at the West Midland Safari Park.

The 12-year-old rhino tried to mount the Renault Laguna from the side, denting the doors and ripping off the wing mirrors before Dave drove away with a puffing Sharka in pursuit.

"He was a big boy and obviously aroused," Alsop told the Sun newspaper on Thursday. "He sidled up against us. The next thing I know he's banging away at the car and it's rocking like hell."

A spokeswoman for the park, which says "rhinos are not particularly intelligent animals" on its Web site, said Sharka was a hit with the female rhinos and had fathered two calves in the last five years.

"He's got a bit of a reputation this lad and he was obviously at it again," she added.

I love it!

The poor lad, sounds like he's not getting enough. A Renault Laguna?!?! LOL

I took the kids to Longleat Safari park last year, and we all watched in awe as a Rhesus monkey ripped off my brother's windscreen wiper (he was in his car, behind ours) and ran off with it, screeching with joy.

Lou

 

[shereads]

If you were a monkey in one of those drive-through animal parks, wouldn't you have fun?

There's an old tourist attraction near here called Monkey Jungle. The people are in "cages," screened walkways that wind through a few acres of jungle occupied by assorted monkeys. Every few yards along the tunnel, there's a little metal bowl suspended from a length of chain. The monkeys lower the bowl to beg for raisins, and pull it up by the chain. Except for one old, bored rhesus monkey, who sits on top of the tunnel at a place where he isn't easily seen because of some foliage, and drops the bowl and chain on the heads of passersby. He must be amazed that people keep falling for it.

 

[Guest]

... Except for one old, bored rhesus monkey, who sits on top of the tunnel at a place where he isn't easily seen because of some foliage, and drops the bowl and chain on the heads of passersby. He must be amazed that people keep falling for it.

My hero.

Perdita

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Re: Re: Deadly Snails with Humongous Appetitites and Virus-Bearing Mucous?

Tee-shirt slogan for Svenska. With pic of a man though.

with evil, Perdita

LOL

That makes me think of Homer Simpson, for some reason.

 

[ABSTRUSE]

there used to be a zoo in my hometown, it was even made fun of on "Friends''. Anyhoo, it was an older zoo, not habitat friendly like todays zoos.
The was the old baboon known for having a bad temper. he used to throw things and sit in the corner staring back at everyone. People used to torment him to make him angry.
I felt sorry for him. Alone in a cement prison, no family or companions, taunted daily. His whole sad existence was for the amusement of ignorant humans.
He is long gone now. I like to think he is happy and at peace.
We don't reallly differ much from animals..

~A~

 

[shereads]

My hero.

Perdita

Easy for you to say. You haven't been bonked with the bowl, after giving away your raisins.

 

[Guest]

Easy for you to say. You haven't been bonked with the bowl, after giving away your raisins.

So you're admitting you fell for it?

 

[shereads]

there used to be a zoo in my hometown, it was even made fun of on "Friends''. Anyhoo, it was an older zoo, not habitat friendly like todays zoos.
The was the old baboon known for having a bad temper. he used to throw things and sit in the corner staring back at everyone. People used to torment him to make him angry.
I felt sorry for him. Alone in a cement prison, no family or companions, taunted daily. His whole sad existence was for the amusement of ignorant humans.
He is long gone now. I like to think he is happy and at peace.
We don't reallly differ much from animals..

~A~

I know. Few things are more depressing than those old-type zoos. With the possible exception of the orca pool at the local Miami Seaquarium. This incredible creature, designed to hunt in the open ocean and swim at incredible speed, lives in a circle the size a generous backyard swimming pool. Her fin leans one way, a deformity that develops when they swim in circles. An agency where I worked (sixth closed-down ad agency from the left) was pitching the Seaquarium account and we got a behind-the-scenes tour. The orca trainer had her come up out of the water so we could pet her. When I walked out onto this slippery platform, the top of the whale's head was taller than I stand at 5'1". I remember looking into this creature's eye and seeing that someone was looking back.

I've seen a shark up-close when snorkeling, and its eye looked like a window into nothing - a robot eye, a machine for taking some kind of visual measurement used to calculate whether I was worth any further study. That was an alien encounger.

But the whale, as alien as she should have been in that giant torpedo-shaped body, was looking back at me in a way that seemed familiar. She was thinking thoughts.

Not that she wasn't scary, too. Anyone who has seen the National Geographic picture of the whale coming out of the water and sliding onto an ice floe to hoover-up a seal, will know where the sit-on-the-platform-to-be-petted trick originates.

Poor thing. She must be so hungry for red meat after 30 years of dead herring.

 

[Guest]

Sher, when I was young I loved going to the Detroit zoo. Last time I went (in '83) I could only describe all the animals as looking depressed. The place was a shambles and it was such a sad experience.

Perdita

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I wish I could have looked into that whale's eye. I went whale watching in Cape Cod. That day it was cold and they were feeding underwater,but just the size of what I could see was so amazing.
My son is now very much into animals and I try to do the zoo thing and aquariums as much as possilbe. Love Animal Planet too.
I would have my own zoo if I could.
I've taught him respect for animals, in fact we have a collection of snakes and turtles. He reads up on them and we research about them and how to care for them.
I'm the mom in the hood that all the kids bring wayward animals to, baby birds, rabbits, etc.
I'm always saying I'm like the damn Croc hunter.

I would love to go to the San Diego zoo someday, I read about it's history and how much they have built up since then.

I live not too far from Philly and was saddened by the fire in the Ape house.
I hate hearing stories of animal neglect and cruelty. Recently there was a puppy that was found in a strip mine near here, her front legs were broken on purpose, but now she is fixed and adopted.
I could never understand a person so calluous.

~A~

 

[shereads]

So you're admitting you fell for it?

No, my mom did though. If I had known...I might have hurled myself into harm's way.



Fortunately, my mom has enormous, lacquered-in-place Southern Hair. The bowl bounced right off.

 

[Guest]

Fortunately, my mom has enormous, lacquered-in-place Southern Hair. The bowl bounced right off.

I am so laughing out loud. Apologies to Mama, but the image is hilarious.

Perdita

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I am so laughing out loud. Apologies to Mama, but the image is hilarious.

Perdita

same here P. thoughts of Steel Magnolias are floating through my mind.
I swear AquaNet could deflect bullets!!!!