Announcing the official splitting of my personality

[Shy Tall Guy]

Hey, if others can do it so can I!

I sometimes want to express disdain and contempt (mostly for trolls), sometimes I want to say something some people consider to be out of character for me. What better way to do that than to have a split personality. Besides, I ran out of my meds.

I don't like to be deceitful, so I am announcing this here so you guys know who is who. Just think of these guys as troll bots, hopefully humorous troll bots.

So, without further ado, meet Duckman PD (my sardonic wiseass side), and Cornfed (my shy, intelligent and often surprising daredevil side).

Take it from here Duckman, Cornfed.

 

[Duckman PD]

I got a question. How come they can put a man on the moon, but they can't make a deoderant that works past lunch?

 

[modest mouse]

good idea

While I long ago gave into my Bi-Polar personality I think it wise to do so yourself Shy Tall Guy. I salute your reference to what was/is a great cartoon. Will we expect the STG identity to go silent?

 

[Cornfed]

Before I met Duckman I was at a crossroads, soul searching, looking for my place in this endless puzzle we call life.

You ever wake up in a Cambodian gaming parlour and realize you were living in a dark dank abyss of emptyness & loneliness, then wander the mountains of Asia for two years until you became the chef in a Tibetian monestary?

 

[Mellon Collie]

STG, for some ungodly reason I just noticed you forgot the s in northwest on your location thing. Just thought I'd let you in case you haven't already seen it and I'm anal retentive. Oh, and good luck with your new personalities, I hope you all get along and tell them to be nice to me please.

 

[Duckman PD]

Re: good idea

Will we expect the STG identity to go silent?

Sure, when my butt starts singing show tunes.

 

[Duckman PD]

I hope you all get along and tell them to be nice to me please.

Actually my biggest fantasy involves you, liver loaf and a pack of starving rotwillers!

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

STG, for some ungodly reason I just noticed you forgot the s in northwest on your location thing. Just thought I'd let you in case you haven't already seen it and I'm anal retentive.

That was on purpose; we call the Pacific Northwest the Pacific North Wet - get it?

 

[Mellon Collie]

Actually my biggest fantasy involves you, liver loaf and a pack of starving rotwillers!

Is that the one where you feed those poor doggies while I watch from a safe distance?

 

[Mellon Collie]

That was on purpose; we call the Pacific Northwest the Pacific North Wet - get it?

I have no idea what you are talking about.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I have no idea what you are talking about.

No no, not that kind of wet!

 

[Duckman PD]

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Sorry, I didn't hear you, I was staring at your breasts.

 

[modest mouse]

This is actually quite enjoyable. I find I have little to say today, kicking around the house, sleeting/raining outside.

At least I can peer into STG's head and, of course, wait for the ensueing battle of wits between Duckman and Cornfed. I cant wait 'til they get avatars!

 

[Duckman PD]

Is that the one where you feed those poor doggies while I watch from a safe distance?

Its like a dream..... Not the naked contortionist on the glass table top kind of dream.... but not bad.

 

[celiaKitten]

Aww shit!

Now which one do I flirt with, who do I go to for confession and which one gives me penance??

 

[Mellon Collie]

Sorry, I didn't hear you, I was staring at your breasts.

Awww, and I thought you guys were going to be nice.

 

[Duckman PD]

Awww, and I thought you guys were going to be nice.

Oh Right! Like I was the only guy to laugh at the joke about the gay midget with the cleft pallet.

Duckman nice?

 

[Spinaroonie]

I got a question. How come they can put a man on the moon, but they can't make a deoderant that works past lunch?

Simple, we weren't challeneged by enemies. If Osama says, "I will crush the infidels and make an in-sole that weill support my feet (Including the missing toes), create a comfortable fit, AND keep them smelling fresh all day long" by God, our scientists would work day and night and make it and add in some more features.

So, given the choice would you not have the moon landing and give up to space program and all that entails (I.E. The Microwave, etc.) for the deoderant?

 

[Cornfed]

Re: Aww shit!

Now which one do I flirt with, who do I go to for confession and which one gives me penance??

Do NOT flirt with Duckman - he will only break your heart. Flirt with me or STG.

I need to learn how to awaken the sexual beast that lies dormant in every womans soul waiting to transform her into a lusting creature of unbridled passion. Pulling at me. Tugging at me. Yelling TAKE ME CORNFED MAKE ME YOUR LOVE SLAVE!!!

 

[celiaKitten]

Re: Re: Aww shit!

I need to learn how to awaken the sexual beast that lies dormant in every womans soul waiting to transform her into a lusting creature of unbridled passion. Pulling at me. Tugging at me. Yelling TAKE ME CORNFED MAKE ME YOUR LOVE SLAVE!!!

Umm, ok

 

[Duckman PD]

Do NOT flirt with Duckman - he will only break your heart. Flirt with me or STG.

But I need to find SOMEone, like a woman getting even with a boyfriend, or a nymphomaniac with low standards... or that blind-obesssed Seinfeld groupie who thought I was Jason Alexander in a duck suit!

 

[Cornfed]

But I need to find SOMEone

Given your proven record of mind-bogglingly destructive excess, we felt that letting you flirt with CK, would be like giving Michael Jackson a drum of peanut oil and some cub scouts. Alledgedly.

 

[Duckman PD]

Given your proven record of mind-bogglingly destructive excess

But don't you see what it's like in this deranged Waring Blender of a world?! Every day is an agonizing ordeal, like balancing a pot of scalding water on your head while people whip your legs and butt... You never forget your senior prom...

 

[modest mouse]

I get the feeling that ....

someone has access to some high grade hallucinogen.

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

Re: I get the feeling that ....

someone has access to some high grade hallucinogen.

Nah.. just natural endorphins from having fun expressin myself.

I am going to lay off for a while now; that is a lot of work switching between the different personalities, and I need to save some energy for the trolls. I think you guys/gals get an idea of what is in store for them.