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A PM I received

So this person asked me, via PM, if it's possible for them to have their ass fucked and NOT get ass cancer. I quoted my reply here:

Well, the short answer is "No".

The longer answer is that it is possible, but most people don't want to go through the preparations required to avoid ass cancer due to anal sex. But let's go back to the most important question. Why does anal sex cause ass cancer?

Well, many people have heard about the life force known as chi (pronounced "chee") that runs through your body. Eastern scientists have recently discovered that there are actually two types of chi - coo chi and hoo chi (literally translated into positive and negative life forces). It's important not to call these good and bad chis (pronounced "cheez") as, without the negative, the positive could not exist.

When one has anal sex, all of the chis get aligned from the ferocity of the ass pounding. Furthermore, some chi gets transferred from the cock to the ass. It's similar to what happens when a person rubs a cloth over a glass rod to produce static electricity. See this safe link for proof of everything that I'm telling you here.

So the next question is how do we prevent the ass cancer. Enemas are a good start. Enemas remove harmful bacteria as they clean the bowels, and also remove solid fecal matter which, when pounded, is the primary factor in the aligning of the chis (again, pronounced "cheez").

After the enema, you must suck his cock prior to him pushing it into your asshole. I'm not going to go into the details of this, but it again has to do with the alignment of the chi. Next, when he is pounding his rock hard cock into your tight little ass, try to relax, push out, accept him in. This helps the chi in your ass to flow properly and not get pounded into a magnetic allignment.

Finally, after he has satisfied himself in your asshole, you must suck him off again. This is a very critical step from which most novices shy away. It's important to really polish the ass chi (both the positive and negative) off of his knob, so that they get reincorporated into your own body and can help regenerate your own life force.

So, in summary: Enemas are good. Suck his cock beforehand. Good hard ass pounding. Suck his cock again afterward to remove the ass chis ("ass cheez").
Click to expand...
 
dfa2066 said:
OMFG, this is the funniest thing I've read in weeks. Not sure how I missed it. Thank you.
Click to expand...

Thanks. I was kinda proud of the ass cheese ending.
:D
 
That just sounds nasty... and speaking of Nasty, I think he'd enjoy this dialogue.
 
Now you're just being silly, and making fun of Eastern philosophies. Shame on you.
 
BoobsNBrains said:
Will that throw off my fuck shui?
Click to expand...

It will, unless your point your cunt toward the doorway as you are penetrated.

If you do that, your flow will be much more liberating.
 
RawHumor said:
It will, unless your point your cunt toward the doorway as you are penetrated.

If you do that, your flow will be much more liberating.
Click to expand...

That would mean I'd have to do it on the curved stairway...might be fun. Oh, and I'd really rather not talk about "flow" today, tyvm.
 
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