Anal play questions

[Lovepotion69]

My partner is into anal and has expressed his desire in trying it out with me. I'm slightly worried. I have tried it a few times before with two previous partners. With one we started to get into anal play a bit more, and even tried it properly, but he couldn't get in further than past the head. It felt too big.

The thing is, my new partner is quite thick. And not only does it worry me in general how a man can get in fully, and how to accomodate that, but also the fact that he's so thick gets me even more nervous.

I don't know how far I'll let him go, so I figured perhaps you wonderful Lit people can share your experiences, and give some hints.

Thanks!
/LP

 

[cymbidia]

Here's a site containing really good, clear info on the subject:
Anal Intercourse
http://www.very-koi.net/anal.htm

Here are some links to old threads on this subject:

The Back Door
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=26692

Anal sex advice
http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=36954

(The following is taken from a post i made to a thread called Ladies, your opinion on Anal sex located here: http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?threadid=31602)

1. Read the other threads i gave you earlier.

2. Be absolutely certain you and she talk it over first.

3. Be absolutely certain she's comfy on her hands and knees, if that's the way you're planning to do this thing. Some women feel inhibited in that position. If she's not comfy with it, then practice having vaginal sex in that position first or choose another position for anal sex. (An aside, the other possible positions for anal sex are, IMO, more difficult for novices to get right and feel comfortable with than is the classic woman-on-her-knees-butt-up-and-cheeks-spread position.)

4. Be absolutely certain she is *very* aroused before you start pushing into her anus.

5. Use LOTS of lube. You cannot use too much lube. So the fuck what if you have to strip the bed and wash the sheets later!

6. Push gently, gently, gently on her sphincter muscle (that incredibly tight ring of muscle that lives at the opening to our anuses) with the head of your cock until your cockhead JUST pops through. Stop. Wait. Doesn't matter if your body is screaming at you to go. Let her get used to the feeling, and it's a WEIRD feeling at first. Keep the heat WAY up between you; don't let her nervousness or the little bit of discomfort she'll probably be feeling get in the way of the eroticism or it'll all be over.

7. After she's relaxed a bit, begin to push into her body more deeply. Go slowly. Keep your hands moving on her body, keep her head into the play. Most of the nerves are located in the very outermost parts of her anus so you pushing in deeper and deeper should not really hurt beyond an alien feeling of fullness and the still-new-and-maybe-scary-and-painful stretching of her sphincter.

8. Go and read about anal sex, both of you. Here's a good link: http://www.sexuality.org/l/incoming/aanal.html (Don't be put off by the words "advanced anal sex techniques" in the title; it includes the basis in great and good detail as well.)

Do i like anal sex? Oh yeh. It's incredibly, indelibly erotic.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Thanks a lot Cymbidia! I tried doing a search, but got lost.

Thanks for all the links!
/LP

 

[NoRegrets]

I don't know how far I'll let him go, so I figured perhaps you wonderful Lit people can share your experiences, and give some hints.

Thanks!
/LP

1) Use way too much lube

2) Go way too slow. In fact the first few times I think it is better to have vaginal intercourse with digital anal play. Get used to the sensations a few times.

3) Be very clean. You can get a nasty vaginal infection from any fecal material. I think a condom is best for this kind of play.

4) Nothing too rough, the membrane separating the two entries can tear, though I do not know of a case.

5) Be certain to have lots of fun.

In all likelihood you will come like never before with a more powerful organsm than you thought possible. There are many nerve ending that may never have been stimulated before.

6) Give me a kind thought as you vault over the edge

 

[Cirrus]

Lovepotion, are we fucking the same guy? I have the same issues. It's something I eventually want to try with him, say in the next few months, but I have the same concerns. Thanks for the tips, guys.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Cirrus,
I doubt we're fucking the same guy. LOL Mine lives in north London, and is Polish. hehe

I bet ya he'd love to have both of us though....

 

[cindylouwho64]

LP, my husband is very long and very thick (lucky me - lucky me!), but anal really scared me too. I had a couple of drinks one night to loosen me up mentally, candlelight for romance and we just took it really slow - lots of lube as noted by others, but we did it in the missionary position with him kissing me a lot and rubbing my nipples and sucking on them a lot too. It just seemed so impersonal to do it the first time doggy style.

Now - it's one of our fav positions doing it anal - but we have graduated to doggy style and even spooning feels wonderful. Go slow and communicate - that's most important. If you're very orgasmic like I am - it is the most intense orgasm you'll ever feel - it feels like both your ass and pussy are cumming at the same time!! Damn - why is he at work right now! lol

 

[Lovepotion69]

LP, my husband is very long and very thick (lucky me - lucky me!), but anal really scared me too. I had a couple of drinks one night to loosen me up mentally, candlelight for romance and we just took it really slow - lots of lube as noted by others, but we did it in the missionary position with him kissing me a lot and rubbing my nipples and sucking on them a lot too. It just seemed so impersonal to do it the first time doggy style.

Now - it's one of our fav positions doing it anal - but we have graduated to doggy style and even spooning feels wonderful. Go slow and communicate - that's most important. If you're very orgasmic like I am - it is the most intense orgasm you'll ever feel - it feels like both your ass and pussy are cumming at the same time!! Damn - why is he at work right now! lol

Hi Cindy,
Thanks for you input. Yes, my man is also long and thick. *WEG*
I was really wet the other night when I was with him, and we actually gave it a try for the first time. Missionary, but he only manages right past the head. It just feels....weird. And the further in he pushes, the more I feel like it's opening up and hurting.

I'd love to try it again, mainly because of curiosity and such...

/LP

 

[bharman4102]

with enough lube and patience, all things are possible!

 

[Guest]

 

[Bueydgirl]

What works best for me (my boyfriend is also big and thick!) is lot's of lube, and if he waits and lets me be the one to push back on him, not him pushing into me. That way I can relax and go at my own pace until he is in, then he can start strokin.

 

[huskie]

What works best for me (my boyfriend is also big and thick!) is lot's of lube, and if he waits and lets me be the one to push back on him, not him pushing into me. That way I can relax and go at my own pace until he is in, then he can start strokin.

yes but do you eventuraly want him to stroke hard???? do girls really want to be fucked as hard in the ass (after it is warmed up of course) as they are in there pussy???

 

[dreamer]

Some do. I know my gf now does...big time.

 

[Bueydgirl]

I like it hard, but I can't take it for too long like that, so he better be ready to cum when he gets going lol

 

[SexyChele]

Actually, Emerald Eyed offered the best kept secret to enjoying anal sex. As a man pushes into the anus, the female should be pushing out, as though trying to have a bowel movement. With lost of lube, and pushing out, the head of a man's penis should just pop inside. Keeping lots of lube on hand, patience, and with the female pushing out at regular intervals, a man should be able to enter her completely. But the BIG trick is - ladies, push out during entry! (also diminishes the pain to nothing)


Huskie, I like anal sex hard and fast, just as I do vaginal sex. But it takes a certain amount of build-up. The muscles in the anus relax and stretch very easily, and once that is accomplished (much more quickly than realized if one is relaxed), then movement just as in the vagina is pleasant.

For me, anal is what I prefer when it is "that time of the month", and I don't want him to slow down for anything!

 

[His Whimsicality]

Apart from what others have suggested - most importantly lube, condom, and doing it slowly - it´s also very helpful if the penis is not only pushing forward, but also making circling motions if the woman is tight, this way it will wiggle in easier.

 

[Lovepotion69]

Thanks everyone for all the info and hints. I trust him, and he has done it before, so I trust he knows what he's doing. It was good to read how I can help out and ease my own pain/discomfort.

/LP

 

[bhambabygirl]

Yummy, Anal....

Love anal....do it often. What he did the first time we did it, was he played with my clit and used a lot of lube...when you think you have enough, double it, then add a little more. He is amazingly thick. We also used small vibraters. The vibrations relaxed the muscles, then he put a very small vibrator in my pussy to keep me relaxed...then as I got closer and closer, i actually pulled him into me with my feet....Now we can do it standing up or in the car on lunch....with smaller amounts of lube....but if is something that really turns you on, dont give up.....