An old, indulgent question

[Jester]

A Caveat: I'm feeling a little down while I'm writing this. I need to get some things out and this'll be where. Warning complete.

My new theory is that nice guys don't finish last; they never make it through the race. Sometime after the starting line they're made to become one with the pavement; unwillingly.

Long story short: girl going out with abusive asshole; boy meets girl, becomes casual friends and becomes interested in her; girl gets out of bad relationship(strong girl, good for her); boy asks girl out, says she's not ready to go out yet(completely understandable), but she'll keep it in mind; boy waits awhile, leaves Shakespeare sonnet on girl's car, etc; boy goes to work one day and girl comes in...with guy draped over her shoulder (boy hears he's an asshole, too); that was 2 days ago.

Why is it that when I talk to female friends, they all wish that their boyfriends would do for the them the things that I do/did for this girl, yet she still picks an asshole? I know this is a little self-pity, but I still feel like crap right now, indulge me. The kicker is that I really like and care about her, so that means no trying to interfere if she has chosen this guy.

God, she looked gorgeous when she came in.

Well, I don't feel better, but at least I got that out. Thanks for listening. Or not.

 

[Earthgoddess]

I swear it gets better. I married "the nice guy" and my darling Dionysus makes me fel like the happiest most special woman on earth. It took a long time for me to see how truly magical someone(who was nice and treated me well) could be-now I feel lucky to wake up with him every morning.
I agree that many woman keep repeating the asame mistakes,and let wonderful men sit on the sidelines. But not all of us do-please pick up your wonderful self and find someone who thinks you are the most special and passionate and magnificent man in the world.
Trust me nice guys do not always drop out of the race-just stop rescuing woman who do not want to be saved. Let the princess be and look instead towards the tavern wench that has had some bad luck and would love to be romanced and cherished.

 

[Guest]

Good advise there. I've made my shares of mistakes and i'll tell you a little secret. When they keep picking assholes, it's usually because they were raised by an asshole, and don't understand the difference. someone that raises a hand to a daughter, is sending daughter out to find a man that will do the same. Why? 'cause they associate the hand with love, cause their daddies must love 'em, and that must be love, ain't it?

Takes a lot of soul searching, and some experiences with a nice guy to find out how wrong their daddies were. Sick world but that's what happens. Give it time, and you'll find a sweetie that can appreciate being treated properly. We are out there and waiting. I for one won't involve myself 'til I'm good and ready. And I won't take anything short of a nice guy, just cause I know the difference now. But it took me a long time getting here.

- Moon

 

[Jester]

Yeah, I realized that a little while ago after a really nasty experience.

It just sucks that even if you know that and want to help, you really can't. I hate sitting aside while I see someone that I care about make mistakes that I can see coming, but can't do anything about. It's happened a little too often lately.

Thanks, though, I do appreciate the reassurances. It just sucks.

 

[OUTSIDER]

I went through the same thing about two year's ago and all I can say is that some women say they want a kind man but something always make's them go for asshole's, your best bet is too forget her and move on.

Sometime's being unavailable is the best turn on for a woman to notice you.

 

[Your Olympic Hero]

If ya Cant beat um Join um..........

ok guy get off the poor me garbage, its time to move on. Forget that piece that u have been pineing over for so long and get on with ur life....

From the AHole point of view say no i guarandamntee that the more u angle the nice way the less this chick is gonna dig u... It's True! It's True!

How do i know u ask, well sonet jim, i used to be u! All nice and gentlemanly and writing poetry(or stealing it anyways)and then 1 day my girlfriend at the time did something that really pissed me off and not wanting to let her off easy by breaking up with her, i went bad.... and boy i aint never had so much fun..... It's True Its True!

There is sumthing about a bad boy that MOST girls just cant resist, and dont buy that abusive father BS, that is a buncha crap, Free Will Baby aint it a blast, so ever since then i have put my needs and wants Uber alles and boy i cant keep um offa me, but even that has its drawbacks...BUT THEY ARENT THAT BIG, so my son get off the bench realize that the nice guy route is good for future reference but PLAY THE GAME ACCORDING TO THE SITUATION. Go Bad or GO Good depending on the vibe ur pickin up from the pie, work both and reap the rewards.... Trust me kid i hate to see a brother suffer....and that my friends is TRUE!

 

[Silverlily]

Uh, yes, thank you for that brilliant reply...

Moving right along. There is some truth that girls (emphasize girls) tend to fall for bad boys (emphasize boys), however what Moonwolf had to say was right on the money. It takes an amazing sense of self to overcome that which you were raised to believe. That's not to say it isn't possible, just not very likely (Congrats Moon, be proud!).

As to your problem, all I can say is be patient no matter how much it sucks. You can never force someone to love you, at that point it stops being love and starts being obligation. This girls just may not be for you. One recommendation I would make for you is do not extend that which you can not afford to lose. If it costs you nothing to be a friend to this girl than do it, and enjoy it for what it is. If the emotional toll is too much, ease off a little. Bottom line is be sure to take care of YOU,

 

[Never]

I'm trying to feel sorry for yah but remember, nice guys finish last, but nice girls aren't even allowed to run.

 

[Savage Kitten]

I don't think nice guys even have to be in the race....

Every nice guy I ever met was already taken. The don't have to finish first, last, or in between.... they are snatched up as soon as they come off the factory line!

and I have been the kinda girl that hangs around, waiting to see if the 'nice guys' shitty girlfriend will dump him.. and you know what happens when she does? he is so hurt and angry that he takes revenge on all womenkind