An explanation

[WillJ8787]

Can you explain why your spouse/partner isn't into sex, being sexual, playing in the bedroom, what ever it is that has led to a lack of sexual or intimate contact in the relationship.

My ex of 20 years seemed to only like sex on Sunday(then every other, then once month) mornings, missionary, and she like to blather on about family, friends, her 7 th grade kids she taught during sex. She never gave me oral sex and wouldn't let me give her oral either.

I got so desperate I started to try to suck my own dick, which I could do when I was younger. I might need to look into yoga classes...lol.
Will

 

[Clem99]

Can you explain why your spouse/partner isn't into sex, being sexual, playing in the bedroom, what ever it is that has led to a lack of sexual or intimate contact in the relationship.

My ex of 20 years seemed to only like sex on Sunday(then every other, then once month) mornings, missionary, and she like to blather on about family, friends, her 7 th grade kids she taught during sex. She never gave me oral sex and wouldn't let me give her oral either.

I got so desperate I started to try to suck my own dick, which I could do when I was younger. I might need to look into yoga classes...lol.
Will

With my wife, I believe it is depression. She is stressed out by so many other things in life and, for a woman, they need to be mentally in the right place to want to enjoy sex. Guys can and need to have sex for the sake of having sex; women have sex as an extension of love and being content/happy with life and their partner, IMO.

When we do have sex, it is pretty good - but, two or three times per month isn't enough for me.


That is how I see my situation, maybe your is similar?

 

[Jada59]

He's no longer, is my ex but it was a familial thing. He and his brothers were brought up to believe that sex was disgusting and only for procreation. He also thought that the naked body was disgusting and that women should derive no pleasure from sex.

I can see it after the fact. Before we were married, he kept up the charade of loving sex, having so much of it with me that I once developed a very nasty bladder infection. I am thinking now that the condoms we used had something to do with that. I had marathon sex with the guy I was with before him and never got an infection.

Other things that should have clued me in were that he took sex very seriously. I think sex should be fun but it upset him if I acted happy or joked around during it. He referred to sex as "having a session" and the act of him doing it as "performing". I remember a time when he was rather drunk and couldn't get an erection. He just sat there berating himself, staring at his cock and doing all sorts of things to try to get hard. It was kind of beyond ridiculous. I mean... I know these things happen. It wasn't a big deal to me. Get some sleep then maybe try again later or the next day or whenever. But no. He would just not let it go. He also seemed to want me to rate him when he was finished.

Once we got married, he admitted to me that pretty much everything I thought I knew about him had been a lie. He created a persona that he knew I would fall in love with.

I don't get it personally because I was raised to believe all sorts of things that I didn't necessarily believe and certainly don't now. Part of being an adult for me is making my own choices and doing my own research into things.

 

[twister947]

^^^Bait and switch. I know it well.

 

[newhere2learn]

With my wife, I believe it is depression. She is stressed out by so many other things in life and, for a woman, they need to be mentally in the right place to want to enjoy sex. Guys can and need to have sex for the sake of having sex; women have sex as an extension of love and being content/happy with life and their partner, IMO.

When we do have sex, it is pretty good - but, two or three times per month isn't enough for me.


That is how I see my situation, maybe your is similar?

Exactly the same here. When stressed, I fuck for release. My wife, spends months on end besieged by depression or anxiety. Thus has zero sex drive.

Lucky to get one quick fuck every 3-6 months.