Amazon review of The Bible

[epiphany65]

If you're a devout Christian you might want to skip this; it will likely offend you. It's a user review on Amazon of The Bible and I found it quite funny:

http://www.amazon.com/review/RNSHSIU8RCHUT/ref=cm_cd_pg_pg2

 

[Selena_Kitt]

LOL!

I think Jed misread.

 

[Anna_Malia75]

Apparently German cars are high on the list. This review brings to mind Janis Joplin's song:

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a color TV ?

Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?
I’m counting on you, Lord, please don’t let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

That’s it!​

 

[Stella_Omega]

I dunno,Selena, he points out that,if faith can move mountains, a hamburger ought to be moveable as well.

But maybe the bible meant imaginary mountains.

I liked the guy in the discussion who suggested that Jed steal the car, and pray for forgiveness.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

I liked the guy in the discussion who suggested that Jed steal the car, and pray for forgiveness.

ROFL!!! I missed that one!

 

[alyxen]

I dunno,Selena, he points out that,if faith can move mountains, a hamburger ought to be moveable as well.

But maybe the bible meant imaginary mountains.

I liked the guy in the discussion who suggested that Jed steal the car, and pray for forgiveness.

Perhaps he would even find enough change in the car to hit the McDonalds drive through for his Big Mac attack as well?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Someone explain to me whats the qualitative difference between Palestinian ragheads writing a code of conduct called THE BIBLE/TORAH and the Pride & Respect Team from Osama bin Laden Elementary School of Madison, WISC. doing the same thing?

These things all start out warm & fuzzy, then get used to persecute people.

 

[jomar]

Undeveloped characters and plotholes.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Undeveloped characters and plotholes.

and waaay to much reliance on "hand of God" as a way to finish plotlines.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

Someone explain to me whats the qualitative difference between Palestinian ragheads writing a code of conduct called THE BIBLE/TORAH and the Pride & Respect Team from Osama bin Laden Elementary School of Madison, WISC. doing the same thing?

These things all start out warm & fuzzy, then get used to persecute people.

What makes you think they start out warm and fuzzy?

 

[Svenskaflicka]

ROFL - that was SOOOOOOOOOOOO good! We have to invite the author of the review to our humour thread!

 

[Liar]

Undeveloped characters and plotholes.

That's what they call cliffhangers. It will all make sense in the sequel.

 

[rgraham666]

That's what they call cliffhangers. It will all make sense in the sequel.

How's that gonna happen?

All the main characters are dead by the end of the book.

 

[Corylea]

How's that gonna happen?

All the main characters are dead by the end of the book.

Didn't you read the resurrection chapter? They can bring back any character at any time.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Sure hope no similar "review" shows up for the Koran.

Rumple Foreskin

eta: this was my 10,666th post. A coincidence? rf

 

[rgraham666]

Didn't you read the resurrection chapter? They can bring back any character at any time.

Sheesh. Well that takes all of the fun out of it.

 

[CWatson]

To quote TVTropes.org:

SPOILER: {{Jesus DIES.}} And then he {{GETS BETTER}}. This particular plot twist has been the subject of the most widespread spoiler campaign in history: people were standing on street corners yelling it to the public more than a hundred years before the book even came out.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

DOC

Warm & Fuzzy is the pretense and bait to con people with.