Amateur Female Dom needs ideas

[XXXAliceXXX]

Me and my partner have been exploring the world of bondage for quite some time in our relationship.
So far always he has had the role of the Dom.
I like that because he realy makes some exciting scenes for me and makes me do interesting things. He is a writer and thus very skilled at coming up
with original ideas.
The problem is though....we both have the switch kind of feeling when it comes to bondage, he would not mind me being the dominant one and I would love to be his mistress....we did it 2 times now and both liked it.
However my fantasies did not match his i belive and so i feel bad.

He has more experience with bondage and I don't having learned it from him.
Please can anyone give me ideas for interesting scenes?

Some of the ideas he used on me:

1.
Leading me on a leash towards my Kitty food basket....then letting me suck master and then he came into the basket and I had to lap it all up while master was petting me and played with my pussy and tits.

2.
Kitten in a small or manualy smaller made bathtub....and master pouring warm milk on me also pouring some on his member for me to suck...so that masters own warm milk would come pouring.

3.
Master being the teacher and Kitten being the student having to do a test...every failed atemt costs a piece of clothing and aftherwords sexual teasing preformance.

4.
kitten having her hands tied behind her back while master leads me walking on a leash that is atached to my nipples and then makes me jump in place to make my breasts bounce...slapping her farious places and then untying her hands making her lean into submissive position and spread herself for him as he brushes his cock against her entrance teasingly.

To maybe help you with your sujestions....
I have 38DD cup and long blonde hair.
my man likes the fantasy of being on a leash too.
Hope to have some ideas soon.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just asking but in the scheme of all this, what difference does it make how big your tits are or what color your hair is?

 

[XXXAliceXXX]

The collor of my hair does not matter for i didn't state it.
The length might be because interesting things could be done with long hair acording to my man.
Also having large breasts adds some action possibilities and takes away others.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes, you're right. The fact that you have blonde hair doesn't matter.

The fact that it's long, might. But then again, as long as you have something to pull and grab onto, I'm not sure length matters, either, especially when you are asking for advice regarding Domming your "man".

And big tits or not, I don't see that as having much to do with interesting "action possiblities". Lots of women don't have DD breasts. Lots don't have D or even C. Breast size should not be a major factor in fun play. I get the impression you tossed out this added information just to brag or get attention.

But good on ya!

 

[CutieMouse]

Just asking but in the scheme of all this, what difference does it make how big your tits are or what color your hair is?

I was wondering the same thing...

Less serious answer:

Put him in a blond wig, with a 38DD bra, and wear a strap on, to re-create all the above scenes...

More serious answer:

It would probably be most successful cater "scenes" to his desires, means the person best suited to think up such things, would be you, since you know him best. From your list of "scenes" it seems that mild animal play is of interest; also, leashes, etc work just as well when attached to a gentleman's privates, as a lady's breasts.

 

[Retrieval]

I've seen/heard about this Kitten thing quite a lot. What's it all about? Why a Kitten and not some other kind of animal?

 

[XXXAliceXXX]

I'm realy sorry people got the impression of me wanting to brag ;_;
Even a little sad.
Because that was not why I put it in for at all.

And Kitten....well let's just say it this way.
It all started for us with a simple joke during sex.
I like giving him oral pleasure and like to swallow his semen.
He once jokingly called it his milk and so it went on to kitten.
Untill i decided to give in to try bondage and being a submissive and
we both concensualy liked the idea of me dressed as a kitten on a
leash with a collar.

As for the scenes...Like I said...I am young and new at this but want it.

I am merly asking for examples of something other people have done
so that i could help my imagination.
Because I only know so little about being a Dom.

 

[CutieMouse]

I'm realy sorry people got the impression of me wanting to brag ;_;
Even a little sad.
Because that was not why I put it in for at all.

And Kitten....well let's just say it this way.
It all started for us with a simple joke during sex.
I like giving him oral pleasure and like to swallow his semen.
He once jokingly called it his milk and so it went on to kitten.
Untill i decided to give in to try bondage and being a submissive and
we both concensualy liked the idea of me dressed as a kitten on a
leash with a collar.

As for the scenes...Like I said...I am young and new at this but want it.

I am merly asking for examples of something other people have done
so that i could help my imagination.
Because I only know so little about being a Dom.

It isn't anything personal; the BDSM forums get a lot of Trolls, looking for "examples" of BDSM to use as masturbation material... the unfortunate side effect of this, is that new posters are usually greeted with a bit of suspicion.

As for learning to be a more dominant partner- I'm a big fan of old fashioned research.

The Library pinned at the top of the forum is full of wonderful information.

As for books on the subject, I recommend:

The Sexually Dominant Woman: A Workbook For Nervous Beginners by Lady Green

Female Dominance Rituals and Practice by Claudia Varrin

The Loving Dominant by John Warren

The New Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Janet W. Hardy

And I've also heard good things about The Art of Sensual Female Dominance by Claudia Varrin, but I've not read it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Oh please, don't take it personally. GeeWhiz, I never meant to make you feel sad... just like I'm sure you never meant to make all those A, B and C cup ladies with short, brown, curly hair feel inadequate. ;-)

 

[CutieMouse]

Oh please, don't take it personally. GeeWhiz, I never meant to make you feel sad... just like I'm sure you never meant to make all those A, B and C cup ladies with short, brown, curly hair feel inadequate. ;-)

Pfft! I used to be a DD- it's over rated. Small busted women of the world- unite!

 

[A Desert Rose]

Pfft! I used to be a DD- it's over rated. Small busted women of the world- unite!

Come on... you're brighter than that and I know it.

I know you can read sarcasm when you see it.

 

[CutieMouse]

Ummmm.... I'm tired? Multi-tasking and not paying very close attention? The cat jumped in my lap?

 

[XXXAliceXXX]

Thank you for your help....I will definately try and get those books.
And I'm sorry to hear people do that.
I realy just wanted some examples from Domina's experiences to
go an use on my man. Or at least to give me things to help out while
fantasising.
Now if he was a woman that would be a diffrent case.
With all the training he gave me I know exactly what to do to go around
a woman and what kind of things can be done.
I am just the less creative type .

And I was thinking about getting a smaller cup too because
it's realy hard living with these and true and don't see anything
special in em either. But muh man told me he likes em the way
they are and me the way I am and that I should never ever
change...and so I didn't

 

[CutieMouse]

Thank you for your help....I will definately try and get those books.
And I'm sorry to hear people do that.
I realy just wanted some examples from Domina's experiences to
go an use on my man. Or at least to give me things to help out while
fantasising.
Now if he was a woman that would be a diffrent case.
With all the training he gave me I know exactly what to do to go around
a woman and what kind of things can be done.
I am just the less creative type .

Honest question- why does his being a man make it any different? we're all people; we all have similar erotic zones. Clamps can be used on a lot more than nipples; men can be puppies, just as easily as women can be kittens. Talk with him about his submissive fantasies, and go from there.

 

[mcgill82ferret]

Hi Alice

In the "some ideas" section of your original post you touch on a Teacher/Student type scene and you sound genuinely interrested in knowing what his interrests are. You might try using your dominant position to that end. (And you might even find out that D/s as well as bedroom bondage is of interrest...)

Require an assignment of him to write an essay/short story about a fantasy. You might provide a specific topic or leave the field wide open for him to choose. For instance, to describe an evening where he must take you out for dinner, what your wearing, what hes wearing, that he must wait on you hand and foot, opening doors and holding your chair while you sit.... and what might happen later in the evening, ect...

Although the content of the stories may primiarly describe his bondage interrests, the act of having to write the story is closer to a D/s activity. You get to find out some of his interrests as well as if D/s is of any interrest.

Of note also is that often people writing fiction tend to sometimes get carried away in their descriptions of activities. Its quite possible that parts or all of the story written may be impractable, impossible, or just beyond your/his limits. But even if the story can't be recreated into reality, there will likely be lost of usefull info about his thoughts.

And these are my thoughts concerning your request...
Have a great day

 

[Netzach]

Honest question- why does his being a man make it any different? we're all people; we all have similar erotic zones. Clamps can be used on a lot more than nipples; men can be puppies, just as easily as women can be kittens. Talk with him about his submissive fantasies, and go from there.

Yep. Pretty much what's good for the goose is even better for the gander.
Treat his balls like your boobs. But read

"The Family Jewels" by Haberman first. So you don't break anything.

 

[Dread_Pirate_Roberts]

Hi Alice,
There are some very cool websites that show different knots to use on people. Perhaps you should check that out, if you both want to try bondage. Also, why not make it really interesting for him? Make him go buy 4 or 5 different types, of ropes made of different materials, colours and lengths. Make him have to talk to a clerk about the usage, or make him ask an obvious question to a clerk. Make him purchase the ropes a few days ahead of time and then have him put it somewhere in his place that he has to look at it until you use it on him.
Be creative about the preparation to heighten the experience and have fun.
Dread.

 

[pasty69]

Hi Alice,

First off I would like to congratulate you for posting and continuing to post when nasty people seem determined to take cheap shots at you. That is all they are nasty shallow people. Second I would like to wish you luck in your exploration, I have been trying to get my partner to take a more dominating role and it is really hard. I must admit I like the kitten idea, I think I might even try it out, I really like the thought of my little kitten lapping up my milk thanks again for posting and good luck
Pasty

 

[CutieMouse]

Hi Alice,

First off I would like to congratulate you for posting and continuing to post when nasty people seem determined to take cheap shots at you. That is all they are nasty shallow people.

What. The. 'Eff?

 

[NastyPierre]

I'm realy sorry people got the impression of me wanting to brag ;_;
Even a little sad.
Because that was not why I put it in for at all.

And Kitten....well let's just say it this way.
It all started for us with a simple joke during sex.
I like giving him oral pleasure and like to swallow his semen.
He once jokingly called it his milk and so it went on to kitten.
Untill i decided to give in to try bondage and being a submissive and
we both concensualy liked the idea of me dressed as a kitten on a
leash with a collar.

As for the scenes...Like I said...I am young and new at this but want it.

I am merly asking for examples of something other people have done
so that i could help my imagination.
Because I only know so little about being a Dom.

Well... here's an idea:
Begin with a dog cage large enough for him to kneel in; a collar & leash, bell or two, and a ball-gag. One weekend, keep him near, tease him relentlessly, and deny him sex; demand his tongue to release, and afterwards belittle his effort; gag him when you're finished, teach him commands, and cage him as you will. You'll be surprized at how quickly you adapt to so natural a role.
np