Am I wrong in thinking this way??

[robbie_boy1]

laughs

Don't bother, you have plenty of your own problems to worry about.

you really want to suck my cock in the closet...and you want to invite all the people you rag on the opportunity to watch.....come to NH...oh, you can bend over too........swoons

 

[Jander1]

Wow...I didnt meant to piss anyone off or start anything I am sorry. I just wanted to know what everyones else thought. I DO realize however that I was wong in the way I looked at ceritan things pertaining to the subject; however, my husband and I had a long discussion on it. I no longer feel as strongly against his ideas now as I did before. I did not say that we were going to follow through with it though. We will forget about it for now and maybe later on if it comes up in conversation again we will talk about it and THEN decide on wether or not we are ready. I thank everyone for their comments wether I agreed or not. Even the ones that were rather harsh...

To me this is the only thing to do. You discussed the situation and came to an agreement at least for now. Marriages have lasted and people have been happy under so many different circumstances that it is obvious no person other than those involved in the relationship can tell what is "right" or "wrong" within the relationship. As long as communication is open it can work, if it will or not is why we live life. Good luck

 

[John Doe]

you really want to suck my cock in the closet...and you want to invite all the people you rag on the opportunity to watch.....come to NH...oh, you can bend over too........swoons

Is this supposed to goad me or insult me? I'm bisexual you realize.

 

[wishfulsynfull]

You have opened Pandora's box. Before you explore outside sexual activities,you should discuss and agree upon the parameters of your experiences.

 

[lilevilpunk]

To me this is the only thing to do. You discussed the situation and came to an agreement at least for now. Marriages have lasted and people have been happy under so many different circumstances that it is obvious no person other than those involved in the relationship can tell what is "right" or "wrong" within the relationship. As long as communication is open it can work, if it will or not is why we live life. Good luck

Thank You!

 

[Frimost]

Although I have never done it myself before (swinging) I DO know sometimes the fantasy of something is best never acted out in reality. The idealized version of the daydream of something can irl be much more complicated, not as sexually exciting, and dangerous to you're emotions and relationship if acted upon (sometimes).

 

[John Doe]

Although I have never done it myself before (swinging) I DO know sometimes the fantasy of something is best never acted out in reality. The idealized version of the daydream of something can irl be much more complicated, not as sexually exciting, and dangerous to you're emotions and relationship if acted upon (sometimes).

That's a good point. Sometimes a fantasy is best left unfulfilled.

 

[lilevilpunk]

That's a good point. Sometimes a fantasy is best left unfulfilled.

This may be true; however, like I said, we have already done the MFF thing and had a wonderful time. All three of us enjoyed ourselves and we still talk to this day. And as for not fulfilling my fantasy...I am the type of person who would rather do something and regret it than to regret not doing it, if that makes any sense. My husband and I have been through a lot together so far and I know that this will be a hell of a lot easier than some of the other things.

 

[John Doe]

This may be true; however, like I said, we have already done the MFF thing and had a wonderful time. All three of us enjoyed ourselves and we still talk to this day. And as for not fulfilling my fantasy...I am the type of person who would rather do something and regret it than to regret not doing it, if that makes any sense. My husband and I have been through a lot together so far and I know that this will be a hell of a lot easier than some of the other things.

This sounds a little more complicated than your previous experience.

But you do have a point. They say we regret not doing things more than doing things that didn't turn out well.

I' sure I could find a quote by some famous person that says it ore eloquently than that, but I'm lazy right now so I'm not going to look for one.

 

[lilevilpunk]

This sounds a little more complicated than your previous experience.

But you do have a point. They say we regret not doing things more than doing things that didn't turn out well.

I' sure I could find a quote by some famous person that says it ore eloquently than that, but I'm lazy right now so I'm not going to look for one.

It was way more complicated than it is right now...neither one of us have a problem doing it. I am starting to like the idea more and more actually. Things are going rather well. But like I have said before...we still have about 5 more months to go before anything actually happens

 

[Jander1]

Thank You!

Your welcome
Hope everything works out for you. For whatever it's worth I think you have the right attitude going into whatever you do. My wife and I have discussed a MMF threesome, mainly so she can watch me with the guy, though I am not confident that this would be good for our relationship. Most of the time she just says that I should explore my bi side safely on my own. How many wives would be that accepting? Just an example of the different arrangements people can have in a marriage so that both are happy.

 

[lilevilpunk]

Your welcome
Hope everything works out for you. For whatever it's worth I think you have the right attitude going into whatever you do. My wife and I have discussed a MMF threesome, mainly so she can watch me with the guy, though I am not confident that this would be good for our relationship. Most of the time she just says that I should explore my bi side safely on my own. How many wives would be that accepting? Just an example of the different arrangements people can have in a marriage so that both are happy.

we have been discussing ALL of our fantasies and we plan to try them all at least once.

 

[Jander1]

Wish my wife was willing to attempt trying all of our fantasies. I don't push her though because I know if it needs to be pushed, then no way could be good for our relationship. She did have a fling with a girlfriend before we were married, and of course she knows I'd be up for a FFM. Maybe someday things will be a little different for her. Anyway I'm just happy that she is cool with me exploring, at 29 I want to find a hot guy now that I like, while I'm still fit and healthy

 

[geishaGirl]

lilevilpunk - sounds like you and your husband communicate fairly openly which is certainly a plus as you'd know. I can relate to alot of what your topic is, have had same feelings towards my husband sleeping with other women too! I used to be very insecure and it didn't just start and end with the idea of him sleeping with another woman These days I feel much more secure but am still not agreeable to the idea of an open sex life to the point of swapping partners etc. We have tried some things with another couple though.

I don't believe you are wrong to think or feel the way you do. You say you feel hypocritical, as did/do I, and I think that's completely natural. It is especially likely that thoughts and feelings like these would show when it comes to sex and your marriage and both you and your husband's sexuality. Don't know that I've helped much - or that you needed much more help anyway! - but that's my thoughts for now

Jander1 Initially I wanted to be present when my husband had his first time with another guy. I came to understand why he would prefer he do it without me and now agree with the view your wife takes Just thought I'd share...

 

[Erotic Celt]

No matter whether other people think it is wrong or right, I believe if you don't feel comfortable with the situation, it obviously ain't right for you

 

[MintSoda]

Don't bother, you have plenty of your own problems to worry about.

Pity isn't really optional when you openly display pitiful behavior in front of others...sit back and enjoy, very few people get to bask in the quality of my mercy.

 

[John Doe]

Pity isn't really optional when you openly display pitiful behavior in front of others...sit back and enjoy, very few people get to bask in the quality of my mercy.

Yeah, let me know when I display this behavior you're obsessing about.

 

[John Doe]

It was way more complicated than it is right now...neither one of us have a problem doing it. I am starting to like the idea more and more actually. Things are going rather well. But like I have said before...we still have about 5 more months to go before anything actually happens

Okay, so what is the problem again? Or are you just nervous?

 

[lilevilpunk]

Okay, so what is the problem again? Or are you just nervous?

yeah i am nervous

 

[John Doe]

yeah i am nervous

Try booze.

 

[lilevilpunk]

Try booze.

lol...i dont drink

 

[Brinnie]

Ok I have a problem... I am Bi and my husband and I were discussing have a 4some with a \nother MF couple. We have already done the whole FFM thing and really enjoyed ourselves. However, he wanted to swap wives and screw the other chick while I was with the other guy. I hate the idea of watching my husband do that! I am not necessarily fond of the idea of me being with the other mane either; however I would do it if that is what he wanted. I am anextremely jealous person when it comes down to it and I feel that when a man sticks his "member" inside some one else (other than their mouths) they should be together, I consider it something special. He says that he doesnt feel the same way because the other two people would be mearly playtoys...I dont know what to do. I REALLY would like to have another couple involved as long as she got screwed by her man and I got screwed by mine. Your advice would be greatly appreciated....THANKS

You're an emotional train fucking wreck, you know that?

You've gotta break these chains, you've gotta break this cycle. Have you ever tried Extasy? I totaly fucking recommend it.

 

[SweetErika]

You're an emotional train fucking wreck, you know that?

You've gotta break these chains, you've gotta break this cycle. Have you ever tried Extasy? I totaly fucking recommend it.

Geez, Brinnie...If I didn't know better, I'd say this comment qualifies you to be put on your own ignore list. It looks like you're morphing into one of those "Mean People" you loathe so much.

 

[tomboy58]

Def. NOT Wrong..

Hey there,
I just found this thread and though it is so Far into a discussion and depth... already-- I still figured I will put in my 2 cents...

My husband and I just experience our first Ever couple - couple 4some and It was a wonderful and incredibly sexual experience. So we are New to this and my opinion is that from a new experience, but that also allows me know Exactly where you are coming from..

Let me say that ALL of what you say -- Those were many of my very same fears and feelings that I and he had and why we had not explored sooner... And we did discuss and talk in great deal about our feelings, And... about what we Might feel or were Afraid we might feel.
I agree on setting your limits ahead of time but I also Had to communicate to him what I was Not sure of ... LIke I really wanted to try "this" and I really want to see him do "that" but I may not like it when it really comes down to seeing it.

Being comfortable with the Other persons involved is so.. important too!! You all really need to be on the same page. We all understood and respected each others limits and uncertainty and took it slow.... We did not exclude anything when we started but we all felt each others body language and actually spoke or asked when proceeding... It was very cool! All that said We only did oral on one another This time (except one situation of a double) And it was still an absolutely Incredible experience. We have talked (all of us) and I do believe we are comfortable enough that we will pursue more the next time it happens.
But as I said the comfort level between Her and I was as important as my husband and I. I did not feel threatened by her and them, and they were there For exactly the same reason we were - and they seemed to have the same respect and love for each other

I must say Jander and Erika always have good well-thought advice,

Definitely I say Try Your fantasies.... if you are comfortable...
And you Are Definitely NOT Wrong to address your fears and concerns!!
Good Luck, It has been an awesome journey...

 

[MintSoda]

Yeah, let me know when I display this behavior you're obsessing about.

Pretty much all your posts from the first page of this thread. It'd just be easier to let you know when you've stopped.