Am I Strange?

[Jacqline]

.......I just got back from a family birthday party.............one that my ex husband and his wife attended as well as me. My ex, his wife and I all get along very well..........if fact we were joking together in a big way. My ex's wife has a teenage daughter that I adore (and she me). Does this sound weird to you?

I just figure that my ex and I spent years together......why should we hate each other? It definitely makes these kinds of occasions a heck of a lot better for all concerned and our children are so appreciative of that.

I also have remained friends with someone I was in relationship with for 5 years...........we are there for each other........

How do you get along with your ex/ ex's?

 

[monster666]

.......I just got back from a family birthday party.............one that my ex husband and his wife attended as well as me. My ex, his wife and I all get along very well..........if fact we were joking together in a big way. My ex's wife has a teenage daughter that I adore (and she me). Does this sound weird to you?

I just figure that my ex and I spent years together......why should we hate each other? It definitely makes these kinds of occasions a heck of a lot better for all concerned and our children are so appreciative of that. I have remained friends with someone I was in relationship with for 5 years...........we are there for each other........

How do you get along with your ex/ ex's?

I get along with my ex very well. In fact, my wife and I went to her house for thanksgiving last year. I know it's wierd, but it's better than all the bitter fighting a lot of people go though after a separation.

 

[freakygirl]

I'll take it one step further..

My ex husbands wife.. is my best friend. Seriously.. we talk all the time on the phone.. I'm the one she calls when there is a problem with anything. I'm the one that hugs her when she is done and her me.

We weren't always this way.. but for the last few years we have grown very close.

She is my childrens other mother. She is raising them along with my ex husband.. so it's only best that we get along so well.

Thanksgiving is spent with them (usually at my house).. Xmas eve is always spent together (usually at their house) All birthday parties for the kids are done together (even her son from a former marriage and their son together). My youngest daughter is the same age as their son so they spend time together. They take my daughter home on the weekends that my older children are here. They are taking my mom for a few days this summer while I take a much needed vacation..

In fact.. I just got home from their house.. my daughters 13th birthday is tomorrow.. we had her party today.

 

[Dirac]

I wouldn't consider this an odd arrangement at all. Coming from divorced parents, I can say that I find such geniality refreshing.

Best of luck to you.

Dirac

 

[submissive]

I don't find it strange at all, i'm friends with most of my ex's

 

[Juspar Emvan]

People are strange,
When you're a stranger
People look ugly,
When you're alone

Wome seem wicked,
When your unwanted
Something something
Somethng something

When you're straaaange

 

[llee69]

I dont think its weird. I would if you were to be going out to movies and all.

My ex wife and I are friendly. We never see each other or really talk. But when we do there is no anamosity whatsoever. We (basically)never fought when we were married so why start now.

For the woman I have been involved with serioslly, I dont really talk to them either. Many do not live in this state anymore.

Most evey break has been mostly friendly, but for me to move on I need to not talk to them again for a while. Most of the time after that there is no reason to call them.

I have had no kids ny anyone so maybe it is easier to break all ties?

 

[Jacqline]

I dont think its weird. I would if you were to be going out to movies and all.

My ex wife and I are friendly. We never see each other or really talk. But when we do there is no anamosity whatsoever. We (basically)never fought when we were married so why start now.

For the woman I have been involved with serioslly, I dont really talk to them either. Many do not live in this state anymore.

Most evey break has been mostly friendly, but for me to move on I need to not talk to them again for a while. Most of the time after that there is no reason to call them.

I have had no kids ny anyone so maybe it is easier to break all ties?

I would think that having no kids between you would simplify the break.

It breaks my heart for the people with children that can't get past the bitterness........everyone loses in that situation. The children feel torn and disloyal to the other parent if they are having fun with the parent that has been "put down" to the kids from their other parent. Don't people realize that, if you put your ex down to your children, it will come back and haunt you in the end? Children are much smarter than we give them credit for.

I guess this is my plea to bitter parents (you don't even have to come out and say who you are) to think about what they may be doing to themselves as well as their children............

Stepping down from my soap box now....................

 

[april-wine]

My ex is still a great friend, obviously we weren't married but i love her still.....and wish nothing but the best for her.......

 

[Ladyhawke]

My ex and I through a lot of complicated circumstances ended up becoming roomates. We have two kids and they like having both of us around. They understand that we aren't together and that we will eventually be moving and not living with him. We get along very well, we are very good friends, our friend calls us the happiest divorced couple she's ever seen.

It does make dating interesting, but most guys I have talked to don't really have a problem with it. Our families we suprisingly accepting of it as well, which took me by surprise a bit but which I was also grateful for.

 

[fgarvb1]

huh, i think two good people make two good ex's.

as for me you could not pay me enough money to get anywhere near my first and third wifes.

I'd a whole lot rather pet a rattlesnake, it's safer!

I have enough emotional knife scars in my back from them two, i don't need any more.

i would not piss on them if they were on fire. On the other hand my second wife, is a person i think a lot of, i think she is a fine person and it's a damn shame things did not work out between us.

 

[Jacqline]

My ex and I through a lot of complicated circumstances ended up becoming roomates. We have two kids and they like having both of us around. They understand that we aren't together and that we will eventually be moving and not living with him. We get along very well, we are very good friends, our friend calls us the happiest divorced couple she's ever seen.

It does make dating interesting, but most guys I have talked to don't really have a problem with it. Our families we suprisingly accepting of it as well, which took me by surprise a bit but which I was also grateful for.

I definitely understand where you are coming from........my ex husband and I also had to share the house until it sold (it took almost a year to do so because of the depressed market at the time). Fortunately, it was a large house and we had a room each that, when we were in "our room", the other was not to go in there unless invited or given permission when asked.

In a weird sort of way, it made getting used to things a bit easier...it was kind of a semi separation. It gave us both time to prepare for the future and still both be with the children.

I wish you all the best, Ladyhawke.........trust me, it does get better....................

 

[Cheyenne]

Yes, it sounds weird to me. But a "good" weird. It can only be better for the children to see their parents still get along well after a divorce.

I think how well you get along after the divorce must have something to do with the reason for the divorce in the first place. If you just drifted apart and didn't want to be married any more, that's a bit different than a spouse that beat you, emotionally abused you, or cheated on you with your best friend. We also have a lot of divorced people at Lit with the background of that second group, unfortunately. While it is admirable that you get along so well with your ex, I don't blame anyone in that second group for not being willing to "piss on her/him if he was on fire."

By the way, this opinion is from someone who has never been married. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[batter]

strange

i was thinking along the line of this kind of thread just the other day.
my ex and i dont get along. we do when and if we bump into one another with our current S/O's or i will if my son is with her just to be cordial. i will speak nice to her if we happen to meet at the mall or something but it is just a fast hello and i dont stop.
Why? i do for the kids ( kids? at soon to be 22 and 20?) but everytime things finally get quiet here at my place, my gut hurts and it is ususally bullshit time from her and her lawyer.
i get along with her hubby (she recently married) infact i went golfing with him and my son 2 summers ago when things were getting kicked around at the lawyers. my hurt is with her not him or anyone else. my current wife has no problem phoning my ex for various things that have to do with the kids and the two of them get along well, but no to the point of inviting the other one over or going out together for shopping trips and stuff.
there is more , but i will wait and do another thread.


like we joke at work.."Life is a bitch.....and so is my ex"

 

[Jimi]

Are you strange?

Not in the slightest!

Sounds like a very healthy group of folks who careabout one another despite differences.

 

[Jacqline]

Of course it is understandable when one of the parties was beaten by the other (mentally or physically) or if it was an alcoholic situation or worse.

To this day, I don't understand why one party will taunt the other one or keep taking them to court. That situation is lose/ lose for sure.........It's such a shame when one of the parties can't just let go and move on because, if there are children involved, it hurts them the most , being in the middle.

When we hold grudges in anything, it keeps us from moving on, gives the other person involved all the power, and hurts everyone involved. I'm very fortunate to have things the way that I do because it does take cooperation from everyone, and it is so beneficial to all parties involved.

To those who aren't able to work things out with their ex, I feel for you. The best thing you can do in this situation is to live a good life (as much as is possible) and hold a space that someday this person will wake up and realize what they have done/ are doing. I have seen miracles happen when I have visualized positive outcomes.....................

 

[LukkyKnight]

Well how can we tell?

You haven't given us NEAR enough to know if you're strange, all you've told us is you manage to deal with an ex maturely and not hold the fact that other people like him against them.

I'm willing to bet you're strange, Jacq, but that you're shy about telling us in which ways.

I've known other ex-couples that have gotten along well, including things like sitting with ex and new spouse at church for Christmas. ~shrug~ To this point I don't think my ex has even gone on a date... if so, she works very hard at not letting on.

 

[InMiami]

Strange?

Hi Jacqline

My case exactly. My ex and I are best friends. It was not easy when we divorced. Had we focused on the negatives we both would have enough reasons to despise each other. However, we made a promise that the focus would be on the well being of our son (he was 2 at the time). When things started to go bad, we reminded each other of that promise. It took about a year to get over the uncomfortable feelings, and now we are best friends. I have gotten along beautifully with her boyfriends (she has had 3 so far). We have so many common friends (that’s how we met) that we socialize quite often and are together at family gatherings as well. Our son has all of the family members together in harmony.

Nothing more beautiful in the world than peace and harmony.

If you are strange, so am I…….

But I don’t really think that we are strange, rare maybe but not strange…..

 

[Jacqline]

Re: Well how can we tell?

You haven't given us NEAR enough to know if you're strange, all you've told us is you manage to deal with an ex maturely and not hold the fact that other people like him against them.

I'm willing to bet you're strange, Jacq, but that you're shy about telling us in which ways.

I've known other ex-couples that have gotten along well, including things like sitting with ex and new spouse at church for Christmas. ~shrug~ To this point I don't think my ex has even gone on a date... if so, she works very hard at not letting on.

As far as your ex goes, we all have our own time frames on when we feel ready to start dating again, etc. There is always a possibiltiy for a good outcome if it is meant to be. The best thing you can do is learn from it and live the best life you can.

As far as me and my strangeness, ask me some questions.......I will answer them. I believe in being "up front" about things. I'll be waiting for your questions.................