Am I over-reacting?

[PacificBlue]

Family Situation...

I've been working hard at opening the lines of communiction with one of my siblings. My parents know this and they know why it's important to me. Today something significant happened in the life of this particular sibling and I was REALLY looking forward to talking directly with them about it. I was excited for them and wanted to share their joy. This was the opportunity to bond and make the connection stronger. Instead, I was bi-pased and my parents told my sibling that they would inform me of any developments, which they did.

I feel like I was treated like a "relative" today instead of a immediate family member. I was also given instruction on when it would be appropriate to contact my sibling.

I feel hurt. Am I over-reacting?

 

[Ice Cold]

Why would you be over-reacting. If you feel it was a valid chance to strengthen the connection to them, than you have every right to feel the way you do. My only question would be did your parents think it might be that important to you, or did they intentionally bi pass you?

 

[Lost Cause]

Assert your right as a family member, and a person. Contact the sibling and seize the day, it might be the only chance you get. Once your Parents get used to you bypassing their good intentions, they'll quit taking control. You have to teach them that this is the way it will be. Good Luck!

 

[Jacqline]

Family Situation...

I've been working hard at opening the lines of communiction with one of my siblings. My parents know this and they know why it's important to me. Today something significant happened in the life of this particular sibling and I was REALLY looking forward to talking directly with them about it. I was excited for them and wanted to share their joy. This was the opportunity to bond and make the connection stronger. Instead, I was bi-pased and my parents told my sibling that they would inform me of any developments, which they did.

I feel like I was treated like a "relative" today instead of a immediate family member. I was also given instruction on when it would be appropriate to contact my sibling.

I feel hurt. Am I over-reacting?

Pacific,

Could it be possible that your parents like to be in control of situations? I, personally, am much better at going directly to the person, letting them know how I perceive a situation and asking if my feelings are right or not. This makes it so the person you are trying to communicate with isn't put on the defensive.

Would there be anything wrong with you still contacting that relative directly and saying how you feel? I know if one of mine came at me with love and wanting to mend things, I would melt and be very happy to go from there.

I hope it helped,
Jacqline

 

[mig]

Without knowing the entire situation it's difficult to comment.

My gut reaction is that your parents are deliberately keeping
you on the sidelines,so ingnore them and contact your sibling
anyway.

 

[PacificBlue]

Thank you all for the feedback.

 

[Schumi48]

My opinion, your parents reacting wrong.


good luck Schumi

 

[patient1]

Not to pry.

I don't know the history, or the personalities, in-laws, etc. & I don't mean to ask.

It might be possible that somebody asked them to interfere as a screen or buffer.

 

[sch00lteacher]

What a load of doo-doo! I was also given instruction on when it would be appropriate to contact my sibling.

How dare they. I'd be very upset. No you did not over react. I would be very hurt myself.

 

[riff]

I don't think you are overreacting

I went through some stuff like this with one of my siblings that lasted several years. It's just the way she was. I told her, up front, that I didn't feel like I had a "relationship" with her and that I wanted to see her more often and do things with her more often.

The fact that she didn't respond was saddening, but that is just the way she is, and I just had to accept it. So I did, but I cannot say that I didn't try.

But that was years ago. I am not certain what it was, but gradually over a couple of years (especially after she moved to another city not too far away) we have become good friends and I have a good relationship with her.

It wasn't about me. It was all about her and whatever it was that she was going through in her life at that time.

I don't think you are overreacting, but avoid resentment. It is poison.

 

[SweetBrat73]

What a load of doo-doo! I was also given instruction on when it would be appropriate to contact my sibling.

How dare they. I'd be very upset. No you did not over react. I would be very hurt myself.

I have to agree with sch00lteacher here. I would be hurt too. Why did your parents, who know you were trying to get a relationship with your sibling, interfer anyway. I think I would be asking and tell them not to but in anymore if they aren't going to try to help things.


Brat

 

[Cheyenne]

Is the sibling still a child living with your parents? Or an adult out on his/her own?

If the answer is child living at home, is there a reason they would want to protect a younger child from you? I'm not saying a logical reason, but a reason that might be something they think/believe about you?

 

[PacificBlue]

Thank you for the replies.

The sibling in question is older than I am, married, and not living at home. There is nothing about me that my parents are trying to protect my sibling from.

The issue is about control. The issue has always been control. I've had enough.

 

[Andreina]

i see no reason why you should think you are over-reacting. contact your brother/sister yourself and talk to them directly. bypass the middlemen - thats what we were thought in our economics lectures too

good luck, pacific

Halo

 

[patient1]

Thank you for the replies.

The sibling in question is older than I am, married, and not living at home. There is nothing about me that my parents are trying to protect my sibling from.

The issue is about control. The issue has always been control. I've had enough.

In that case... You're right to be upset.
I'd just ignore your parents & procede.
Good Luck.

 

[Cheyenne]

In that case... You're right to be upset.
I'd just ignore your parents & procede.
Good Luck.

Yup, what he said!