Am i crazy?

[Lovernotkiller]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

 

[SweetErika]

I think your feelings are probably logical, considering your thoughts about a threesome possibly really screwing up the relationship. I'm sure you also know fantasy is a lot better than reality often (I think group sex can be wonderful, but it IS risky relationship-wise, and takes a ton of communication and a rock-solid relationship).

Go with your gut on this one, and perhaps you two will feel like revisiting the issue at a later date. Or, if you're both comfortable, you could always support her in pursuing relationships/ff play on her own.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

Let's see...you don't want to share your girl with anyone else, and you don't want to bring a third person into your relationship even to live out one of your favorite fantasies...yep, you're in love. Enjoy!

 

[Bandit58]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

Even if you don't want the 3some, please be open minded and understand if she wants to have some f/f play. I'm a bi woman and missed out on so much over many years but now have the freedom to explore and play with other women with my partner's encouragement and blessing.

This in no way detracts from my love for him, in fact it only makes me love him more, because he is so unselfish. Being with a woman is so different from being with a man, and those of us with these desires do sometimes feel incomplete and unfulfilled, like we are missing a part of ourselves. Communicate, communicate, communicate! She may feel right now that you are all she wants and needs, but further down the track she may need more than you are able to provide.....just my two cents from someone who's been there

 

[SweetErika]

Even if you don't want the 3some, please be open minded and understand if she wants to have some f/f play. I'm a bi woman and missed out on so much over many years but now have the freedom to explore and play with other women with my partner's encouragement and blessing.

This in no way detracts from my love for him, in fact it only makes me love him more, because he is so unselfish. Being with a woman is so different from being with a man, and those of us with these desires do sometimes feel incomplete and unfulfilled, like we are missing a part of ourselves. Communicate, communicate, communicate! She may feel right now that you are all she wants and needs, but further down the track she may need more than you are able to provide.....just my two cents from someone who's been there

Yeah, what she ^ said. Great post, Bandit.

 

[silverwhisper]

i think it's important to understand that not everybody views love the same way. what for one person may translate to "if i love you, how can i refuse you [x]"? while for another, it may translate to "if you love me, how can you want to do [y]"? i'm not trying to suggest either is any more or less valid than the other: on the contrary, i think they're equally valid.

ed

 

[M's girl]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

IMHO this is where a fantasy becomes too much of a reality. You always thought a threesome is what you wanted, but it was safe. It was a fantasy, there was no one you could hurt, there was no one to be jealous of. Obviously you are an open minded person (which is good) so now it surprises you that you have to alter your opinion because of your feelings. But I guess that's how it works sometimes. My guess is also that you are in love.

That does not mean, by the way, that I consider people who do threesomes are not in love. I know it can work for some people, but if you're having second thoughts now it's just not as much your thing as you liked to believe, and that is fine too.

 

[SweetAsApplePie]

I'd love to try sex with another woman. I just never had the right opportunity. Or enough courage.

 

[Lovernotkiller]

Hmmm

Well, thank you all, that was very helpful, and nice that you took time to give advice//input on this. Hhmmm, I'm just kinda of gonna go on with life and see how things go. If it comes up it comes up. Thanks again yall.

-Joe

 

[phoenix1224]

Well, thank you all, that was very helpful, and nice that you took time to give advice//input on this. Hhmmm, I'm just kinda of gonna go on with life and see how things go. If it comes up it comes up. Thanks again yall.

-Joe

If the subject DOES come up, just sit your woman down and discuss with her the fears/anxieties/apprehensions/etc. that you have.

 

[devils_daughter]

I'm kind of in a similar situation. My bf really wants one and I'm so damn mixed up, I mean I do want to but nervous isn't a strong enough word to describe it. I'm a pretty open minded person but I'm jealous as hell too, I already (shamefully) got into a fight with another girl over this guy. I guess I'm a bit freaked out. I'm not the most secure person in the world and I'm frightened to death of losing him to the third and I'm equally frightened of losing him if I find I can't go through with it. I somehow figured I'd be clearer on what to do if I wrote it out, but I'm still just as confused

 

[silverwhisper]

devils daughter: don't. please.

jealousy is what makes threesomes such dangerous ground. if you have the slightest suspicion that it could crop up, it's a fair bet it will, IMHO.

ed

 

[bisexplicit]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

I don't think you're crazy at all. My boyfriend feels the same way.

Even though he knows I'm bi - he isn't at all interested in a threesome (despite the fact that everyone thinks he should be). He doesn't want to mess up our relationship (especially since we've had rough times recently).

And I'm not really interested in it either -- although, that doesn't meant that I wouldn't be someday. And he might be someday, too.

 

[devils_daughter]

jealousy is what makes threesomes such dangerous ground. if you have the slightest suspicion that it could crop up, it's a fair bet it will, IMHO.

ed

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I've said I'm happy enough to foreplay with a third first and see how that goes

 

[AppleBiter]

Okay, I have a gf that is Bi , and before i had a GF i always fantisized about a 3 some with two girls. But now that i havea Gf who is Bi , i dont really want a threesome, I think i'm too in love with her or something. Could also be that it would kill me to see her with someone else, even if it was a girl. Am i crazy? Or are my feelings logical?

Insane. Have you been checked by a mental health professional? J/K

No, you're not crazy or going crazy, you've obviously just thought about it in depth for more than a few hours and decided that, while it sounded good in the abstract, the idea of it actually happening did not appeal to you. Sounds like logical reasoning to me.

 

[fr34k_n45ty]

I've had the chance in the past to have a multi parter thing... and they i prolly would have done it but the guy i was with always tried to force me into things. With the relationship that i'm in now I have never felt the need to try anything different. When i think about bringing another person into the relationship it gives me a feeling that i would be sharing something very personal. I know in the past when i was single i would have had no problem joining. I'd say you prolly don't feel completely right shareing your girl at this point.. who knows that can always change.