Am I Abstruse....

[LadyCibelle]

or is the reader obtuse?

Do I have too much faith on the reader's intelligence to be able to understand arrogance, irony, sarcasm in a story? Honestly I don't know.

My story Pop Goes the Weasel Ch. 2 is making me believe that the reader has 10 below the earthworm for IQ.

According to the comments I've received, public and private, most cannot understand why my female character behaved and reacted the way she did.
I thought the arrogance of the male character was as obvious as the nose in the middle of the face...seems I was wrong.

So I'm solliciting your help...you writers of great talent. Please could you read it and tell me if I was too obscure or is the reader obtuse for real.

Should I write another part to my story from the male's POV? Do you think it would be easier to understand for the reader if I did. I know I cannot please everyone and there will always be people who will complain about something or another but I'm trying to improve and if writers who have been doing it for a while tell me that I'm not clear enough I'll know the reader isn't at fault and I'm responsible for the beating my story is taking.

 

[Guest]

 

[cloudy]

Loving Wives category is extremely difficult to post anything in. You're far braver than I.

 

[Guest]

 

[Alex756]

I thought alot of the PCs were rather articulate on what they thought? I wish I got that in depth of feedback

Seriously, sure he seemed cocky, but *shrug* I don't think he seemed as arrogant as you seem to be indicating in your post.

keeping records of things you don't want people to find is a near guarentee they will be found, but *shrug* it might be too hard to write another way. I also had a problem with the time period of her 'changes' one week to basically do a total 360? I mean it could happen, but it seemed to break realism.

Honestly I think this might be hurt by the indepth view of her mind. We KNOW something is coming from her thoughts and he seems dumber and dumber for it, and then to think he's smart and scheming and juggling all the stuff, but is soo dumb ....

The writing is beautiful, it has a flow to it that streams from moment to moment, but I kept on being jerked back by the smart/stupid thing and old victoria/new victoria

~Alex

 

[rgraham666]

You can't be Abstruse, LadyC.

You're not nearly surly enough.

 

[LadyCibelle]

And you can't be Abstruse.. she is Abstruse and this is her thread... Abstrusions

come on over and play, we don't bite much. Well I do but you know that.

Lol...I didn't think about the REAL Abstruse when I wrote that

 

[Stella_Omega]

Personally I don't get "Loving Wives" category at all. Is it all, and only, cheating spouses

 

[LadyCibelle]

I thought alot of the PCs were rather articulate on what they thought? I wish I got that in depth of feedback

Seriously, sure he seemed cocky, but *shrug* I don't think he seemed as arrogant as you seem to be indicating in your post.

keeping records of things you don't want people to find is a near guarentee they will be found, but *shrug* it might be too hard to write another way. I also had a problem with the time period of her 'changes' one week to basically do a total 360? I mean it could happen, but it seemed to break realism.

It's even less than that...it's ONE day!!! The morning the found out he was cheating with her best friend...then she finds out the folder on the computer and at night she has him killed.

Honestly I think this might be hurt by the indepth view of her mind. We KNOW something is coming from her thoughts and he seems dumber and dumber for it, and then to think he's smart and scheming and juggling all the stuff, but is soo dumb ....

Believe it or not...but this guy is real...he exist for real!!!

The writing is beautiful, it has a flow to it that streams from moment to moment, but I kept on being jerked back by the smart/stupid thing and old victoria/new victoria

~Alex

Thanks for saying the writing was good...it was soo hard to write.
So, should I write another part with HIS pov?

 

[LadyCibelle]

Personally I don't get "Loving Wives" category at all. Is it all, and only, cheating spouses

Mostly yeah. Wimp husband, slut wives, cheating husband, revenge etc...
As someone told me once...this category is an acquired taste.

 

[Guest]

 

[LadyCibelle]

Sorta like poi?

Sumtin like that yea

 

[hugo_sam]

Hey Cibelle!

Read, voted and PC'd on all three stories. Tight and concise.
PM, IM or email me if you want more explanation, you know the addresses, plus yahoo if you want.. Enjoyed reading all of them.

Hugo

 

[Blackie Malone]

Whew, I saw that title and got worried that the bitch started taking over other bodies.
thank god you're unscathed.

 

[LadyCibelle]

Whew, I saw that title and got worried that the bitch started taking over other bodies.
thank god you're unscathed.

Lol thanks...but honestly I think it would do me good to have some of the REAL Abstruse in me.

 

[Blackie Malone]

Lol thanks...but honestly I think it would do me good to have some of the REAL Abstruse in me.

I'll put in a good word for you.

 

[LadyCibelle]

I'll put in a good word for you.

How much will I owe you?

 

[Blackie Malone]

How much will I owe you?

Me? nothing. Her? Your soul.

 

[LadyCibelle]

Me? nothing. Her? Your soul.

Oh well, if it's only that....fine :d

 

[Blackie Malone]

Oh well, if it's only that....fine :d

I'm willing to negotiate.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Personally I don't get "Loving Wives" category at all. Is it all, and only, cheating spouses

I'm growing convinced that the real purpose of the "Loving Wives" category is to provide a target for the collective venom of every frustrated, angry, clinically insane individual on the face of the earth. The stories themselves are almost incidental. Really, the best thing to read in "Loving Wives" is the PC's - if, that is, you share my passionate interest in the more illiterate manifestations of abnormal psychology. I'm grateful for the category, as it seems to draw fire from other locations, but I am inevitably awed and humbled by the courage of those who actually post there.

Shanglan

 

[LadyAria]

I think it is the murder at the end turning people off. I wouldn't criticize the readers too much. They are your audience and to whom you are writing. I know it is hard.

You are a good writer though. You'll work it out. Beside, there will always be people who don't like your work. If more people do then don't, you doing something right. Not everyone will like your stuff.

I have an incest story that was meant as a dark joke and I took a beating over it. Nevertheless, the reader has a right to share the opinion. If you listen closely, it makes us better for it. I think I will avoid incest stories in the future

 

[cantdog]

LadyAria, I don't think we've met, but that is an excellent summation. Exactly what we should take from the experience. I see, now that she has posted here, what Cibelle was doing, but I can also see why people didn't catch on and follow along.

Cibelle, you have a gift for a good, direct statement. It makes your story telling better illuminated. And you have an idea, which a lot of people don't, how complex and different people can be. In the end, this idea, this story, doesn't quite parse, but there could still be a way to make it happen and bring us all along for it. You'll get there. I'm ready to read your next effort, now. Keep at this!

 

[elsol]

a) Never trust the reader to get it.

b) If you need the reader to 'get' it... tell it, don't show it.

c) Some readers do 'GET IT', those are a treasure beyond compare and will make it all seem worthwhile.

I would say about 25% (being generous here... by a LOT) of readers actually know HOW to understand what they read.

The most fun I have is writing in layers and seeing at which layer the reader stopped.

I'm rewriting a long story and in my blog I 'considered' cutting out a sex-scene.

I had a reader write me a two-page expository about why that scene was ABSOLUTELY pivotal to the story and how it reflected the correction of scene X and was the natural conclusion of the growth of the character.

So the punchline is that's why I put the scene in the first place... the reader got it 'soup to nuts'. I had been under the impression no one got it so I was willing to edit the scene out for brevity.

I will say this... the ones who DO GET IT are much more... hard to find the word here... it's like looking across the table and sharing a laugh with someone for no reason at all. It's like in that momen you connected perfectly and laughter is the only way to express it.



Sincerely,
elSol

 

[ABSTRUSE]

Honey, the last thing you ever want to be is Me............oh, I see......thought you were havinging an identitiy crisis.....Um...nevermind...carryon.....