Am I a bitch just because.........

[*Eve*]

I ignore the panhandlers and homeless people on the side of the street.

I was sitting in my car at a traffic light on the way home from work and there was this guy with a cardboard sign walking around to each car. The sign said that he was disabled and that he was hungry, please give. Before he got to my car, I rolled the window up and waited for the greenlight. After that happened I felt a little guilty as I do each time I walk by a panhadler and I ask my self why should I feel guilty for not giving them money, even when I do have change in my pocket.
There was a time when I would have given my last dollar to someone I saw on the street, and I did before. This one guy asked me for money because he was hungry, I gave him the few bucks I had in my wallet just to see him head toward the liquor store. I didn't learn my lesson there, this lady had a child with her, standing in the middle of the parking lot of a grocery store. On my way out, she said that her child was hungry and she lost her money, and her welfare check hadn't come in yet she was very pregnant(or so I thought) so I gave a few bucks to go get some bread and milk at least. The next week I see the same lady in grocery store parking lot again, and this time she has a different kid with her, but she's not pregnant anymore, but she is telling that same bullshit story to another sucker.
So, I guess, my thing is that I've was fooled once shame on them, and fooled again, shame on me but I just don't feel like getting burned again.
So does, it make me a bad person that I just ignore them totally now? Some of these people could be legit, but I just don't want to take that risk anymore.

 

[Always]

it seems you pick the wrong people to donate to.

i never really have money so i don't have that problem.

i can't say.

 

[Guest]

thats because you spend all of your time here posting like the lunatic that you are and won't look for a job loser

 

[Always]

*Eve*, I'm not replying to this to spare your thread, so bya now!

 

[wolfie69]

TO THE "one"

actually we do have jobs do you? ... what are you doing here? If you are here posting with us "losers" does that make you a loser also?

As a guest here I would suggest you be a little more polite!

 

[wolfie69]

*eve* I go by 2 rules.... if I think someone is going to use the money I would give them for booze... I eaither don't give or I offer to buy them something to eat.

The other is that if I give money then that money is theirs to do with as they please....

The few times I was in NYC, I was always amazed at the fantastic lines I would get from panhandlers.... I got to the point where if the story was real good I would give them some money for the entertainment value...lol

 

[KillerMuffin]

No, Eve you aren't a bitch for ignoring them. I do too. The StudMuffin doesn't, but thats him. There are other ways to help the hungry and homeless. Donate to food kitchens, the shelters, whatever. Instead of taking clothes to the salvation army, take them to the shelters. If you have it, you can donate time too.

I'm sure some of the panhandlers are genuine and some of them are not. Its hard to tell which from which, so its a good policy to ignore them. Some cities have such problems with panhandlers that they have laws in the books against giving to them. Or so I've heard.

 

[GuyJD]

I HAVE A SOLUTION TO YOUR GUILT, EVE

There are several things to consider when donating to the so-called "disabled veterans" on the street who needs a little financial assistance. Are they, in fact, disabled and are they really veterans? Or are they just whinos or "rock stars" that begs from innocent passerbys and drivers just to get their fix? I've noticed some too young to say that they were in Vietnam.
Therefore Eve, to ease your guilt, you can use that money that you were considering donating to the bum on the highway and give it to a respectable charity that really feeds the homeless people of your city or help the senior citizens. Hell, you can add an extra dollar to your electric bill payments and that would keep heat and light on for those who are not able to afford to pay their bills. Just a thought, Eve.

 

[Cheri]

Eve, I understand perfectly. I make it a point to donate to people in need and make sure that my kids see me doing it as well. My oldest thinks that any person standing outside of Walmart should have a bucket for our change.
I also went to India during college and was constantly surrounded by the cutest kids begging me for a rupee (the equivilant of about a third of a penny). It tore me up to refuse them that minuscule amount of money. Heck I've dropped pennies on the ground back home and not thought twice about it. But everyone told us that these kids were hired to follow us and beg for money. Even knowing that, I had a hard time saying no to them. We ended up buying them things....oranges, band-aids, new clothes, and other food stuff. It made me feel less guilty being the rich Americans that we were. We also left a hefty sum with the Missionaries of Charity in the hopes that if I gave my money to an organization, it would be used in a good efficient way to help those in need.

 

[Siren]

I understand where you are coming from *EVE*

 

[Mortto56]

I'll have to agree with you Siren.

I see people everyday begging,and I usually give them some money,even if it's only 50¢ or a couple of bucks.

Some of the people I've even got to know by name.They are cast-a-ways of families,laid of from work,and lost all benefits,and Veterans.

I remember when I was a teenager,I would go downtown,and there was this guy name Ben,he did'nt have any legs.He had a 2 by 8 strapped to his stubs to walk on,and a couple of pieces of 2 by 4s for his hands.
People would walk down the sidewalks and kick him or bump him.I even seen people spit on him.But there he was everyday.
And just about everyday I would give him 25¢ or 50¢.

So when someone ask me if I can give them some spare change,I usually do.I don't give a shit what they spend it on.Because it their way of getting threw the day.

I can relate to these people,because I was very close to being just like them at one time years ago,untill I meant my wife.She pulled me up out of the shithole that these people are stuck in.

 

[*Eve*]

Thanks for sharing those prospectives. Siren and Motto, I guess, what made me angry was that they said they were hungry so I gave them money, so my assumption was that they were going to spend it on food, and I just felt as if I were scammed. I do see your points about once I give them the money it's they're to do as they please, but my thing is, you don't have to lie to me about what you're going to do with it. It just made me feel like a fool.

I always make sure to give to the Salvation Army and the Knights of Columbus when their in front of the grocery stores, and I always by cookies from the girl scouts and chocolate from the boy scouts, and most likely to buy anything for any kid's school fundraiser, so I guess I'm not such a lousy human being after all.

I still however, am very wary of those people begging on the streets. I guess it's just going to be something I have to deal with.

 

[GuyJD]

WHY SUPPORT SOMEONE ELSE'S HABIT?

The United Way.
Lighthouse for the Blind.
Ronald McDonald House.
Salvation Army.
These are just a few organizations that provide food for the hungry and shelter for the homeless.
While I was never, buy almost, in that predicament I can still remember when Hurricane George was coming close to New Orleans and caused flooding throughout the city. I was fortunate to live in a 2nd floor apartment and was not affected by it. But thousands of other residents were flooded out of their homes. Some temporary but many permanately. But the city officials put their heads together and opened up the New Orleans Superdome to house thousands of people for a few days until all the mayhem was over. I just happened to be working at another entertain building that the city used to house a few more people.
But on a different note, I can remember waiting a bus stop, along with two women. An old man approached us and explained how he had no money and needed something to eat. Out of the goodness of her heart, one of the ladies handed him a sandwich that she did not eat for lunch when she was at work. He thanked her and walked away. We watched him cross the street and place the sandwich in a garbage can, then proceeded to beg others at the nearby bus stop.
I used to enjoy being "begged to" when I was a police though. Alot of the beggers tried to work on others sympathy by claiming to have no money because they were robbed. A guy approached me with that story once and I began questioning him. Showing alot of concern, I spoke to him to gain his confidence. If his story was true, I would have helped him. But instead, after asking him about his police report number, he got confused. He claimed to have lost it. So I showed him my police badge and asked, "Well, if I call my dispatcher, do you think she can find your report for me?" Needless to say, he panicked and ran.
I gave up smoking, I use no drugs, and I regulate my drinking. So this is my point: IF I MUST SUPPORT SOMEONE'S BAD HABITS, IT MIGHT AS WELL BE MY OWN.

 

[Bliss]

I agree with Siren here. If you are going to give at all, you have to "really" let go of the money and just know you did it with good intentions.

In the particular instance *Eve* cited, even if I could tell that the woman was a con, I'd give her a buck or two, to save the children from her wrath.

Guy, bullying people who have reached their own lowest common denominator and have been reduced to begging in the streets is not a heroic act. *shudder* It's comforting to know that you are no longer "a police".

 

[Naked Hunny]

I dont give money to people on the street, but I do give at least 25 dollars every year to the United Way (more depending on my financial situation at the time) and I donate a turkeys to the local Women in Crisis shelter on Thanksgiving and Christmas and a ham on Easter. I know its not much but those women and children in that shelter at the time have nothing except what they brought with them. I also donated all my daughters old clothing to that shelter and all my maternity clothes as well.

 

[Gingersnap]

There are many ways to help but it is very hard for me to step over the street people as I have seen many do on any given day. I work in a street clinic a couple times a month. I remember being on the street afraid, hungery and in pain.I had people snarl at me to go to a shelter but at fifteen I knew what would happen there so I chose to stay on those streets. It was my great fortune to have a elderly uncle take me in for the next three years till I could get on my feet. Not all those faces you see are there by choice. The mentally ill, the borderline intelligence and the kids are there too. I remember how it felt to have only the predators look you in the face. Certainly not Sally Homemaker in her minivan. So do what you want give don't give but do just one thing. Look them in the face. You might be the only kind face they see all day. Even if you don't give them money that acknowledgement can help.

 

[Siren]

Well said Gingersnap

 

[Miranda Reigns]

A bitch?

Honey, you're not a bitch ... you're just not an enabler ... I respect that.
xxxooo
Miranda

 

[Unclebill]

Absolutely NOT!

Hi, sweet *Eve*. You're certainly not. You're just another who's fed up with people lying to you in an attempt to get something from you.

Refusing to be scammed is honorable, not despicable. It's your money to give as you choose or not. Don't feel guilty about exercising your best judgement based on past experience.

If you continued to let them screw you out of your money by lying to you, I'd be inclined to call you naive or perhaps something a tad more harsh.

 

[Thumper]

I don't know the exact phrasing...

...but I think it boils down to this.

If it was Jesus christ asking for the money would you hesitate?

Are you sure that it isn't?

What Siren and Gingersnap said.....Amen