"Alternative Lifestyles?": Who says so?

[MissTaken]

Based on a post of H pilts in the poly thread, I thought this would be a good topic for discussion.

Calling any personal choice an "alternative" lifestyle makes me feel hinky.

Who decrees the norm?

Why is it "alternative?" Alternative to what?

And the age old adage, "It is better than the alternative...."well, doesn't that just suck rocks?

 

[H piltdown]

Who decrees the norm?

Good question....

I think the norm comes down from authority, and mostly the authority of the pulpit.

People like Falwell and Robinson seem to always know what Jesus Said, even if Jesus never said it!

 

[Grvdigger]

Who decrees the norm

From what I have read and come to understand, it is the medical community also that has decided. They have set standards as to what they have decided what is "normal" and what is either kinky or dysfunctional. I know according to one report, by using their own standards that 40% of ppl they surveyed fell into their "dysfunctional" group. Maybe they need to update their standards?????

 

[serijules]

Alternative...

Personally, this is another one of those words that I feel we mold into a slightly less negative meaning to suit our choices.

I can understand how many find it offensive or undesireable to be considerered outside the norm or implied to be lesser than the norm....but I *like* being different. Norm doesn't appeal to me at all, and I find being considered the norm to be more of an insult than to be considered alternative or unusual. Being singled out for your choices only makes the other person look narrow-minded and dull in the long run.

Being the 'norm' these days seems to be a term adopted by narrow-minded people that want to dictate how and what and where and why and when....a person should act. (which I guess I am doing as well, in a way, by dictating how people SHOULDN'T act, but ah well)

All the same, call me alternative any day *grin*

 

[Ebonyfire]

Based on a post of H pilts in the poly thread, I thought this would be a good topic for discussion.

Calling any personal choice an "alternative" lifestyle makes me feel hinky.

Who decrees the norm?

Why is it "alternative?" Alternative to what?

And the age old adage, "It is better than the alternative...."well, doesn't that just suck rocks?

Society imposes expectations of behavior on certain segments of society. Any deviations from that norm is perceived as being deviant and/or alternative. There is more detail, but this is my quicky explanation.

I've got a train to catch.

Eb

 

[MissTaken]

Have a great time, EB!



As for the issue of "dysfunctional", perhaps it is purely semantics that makes me bring this to the board, but...

After 13 years work with "dysfunctional" families, I no longer use the term.

No family is dysfunctional...hence, not functioning, they merely function differently. Some need assistance to find a better way of doing things.

So, we are all dysfunctional or we are all normal.

But, my thinking goes way "out of the box" after a dose of NYQUIL!

 

[~Dream~]

Normal is as Normal does..

and as long as we are "HAPPY' ,thats all that matters to me !!

 

[Domn8]

Labeling

The 'moral majority' (is that still current?) has to put a label on things that they find disturbing or out of their sense of normalcy.
They also tend to be the biggest hypocrites.

If I like something I do it. If its between 2 consenting adults-I dont care what others think.

 

[MissTaken]

Then you are in good company here, Domn8!

Welcome to the forum

(Cool nickname, by the way )

 

[Grvdigger]

Have a great time, EB!



As for the issue of "dysfunctional", perhaps it is purely semantics that makes me bring this to the board, but...

After 13 years work with "dysfunctional" families, I no longer use the term.

No family is dysfunctional...hence, not functioning, they merely function differently. Some need assistance to find a better way of doing things.

So, we are all dysfunctional or we are all normal.

But, my thinking goes way "out of the box" after a dose of NYQUIL!

It was their word not Mine.....I agree with you. Words are missed use and overused all the time.

As for the "moral majority", many quote what they think the bible says in trying to press their views, but I have read it (a number of times) and I do not see anywhere in there where it says that any certian act is forbidden between a loving couple. In fact....there are some really nice passages in Psalms and Song of Solomon. Maybe a few more ppl should actually read what it says and not read into it what they want.

 

[Laurab]

Alternative

Unless you have tried it how do you know for sure you won't like it?Didn't anyone learn anything from "Green Eggs and Ham"?As a personal choice I am a switch because there are definitely times I love to domme and other I desire to Please my Master who is a great but sadistic master.

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

The "Norm" is simply the condition observed most often in a population. It has no implicit value attached.

I think that most reasonable people would agree that the norm in our society is straight, monogamous and vanilla.

The term "Alternative Lifestyle" was originally an attempt at politcal correctness.

It was meant to simply mean that there are lifestyles that fall outside the norm and was not meant to imply that there was anything wrong with them. The term was first applied to same-sex relationships and has since been co-opted by other groups.

Words only have the power over us that we give them. I personaly, refuse to give that much power to an article of speech!

-Vv

 

[Laurab]

Vulpe-You Personally

Whatever Floats your Boat. Just don't limit yourself unless you've tried. Is the threat of being beaten for carrying the label homosexual enough to scare you away from the same sex? Have you tried anything Bdsm? There is a certain freedom in submitting yourself to another's will completly!

 

[Vulpesvulpes]

Re: Vulpe-You Personally

Whatever Floats your Boat. Just don't limit yourself unless you've tried. Is the threat of being beaten for carrying the label homosexual enough to scare you away from the same sex? Have you tried anything Bdsm? There is a certain freedom in submitting yourself to another's will completly!

Hunh?

I think you misunderstood what I was saying. Perhaps I did not make my position clear.

I was trying to say that I do not see anything wrong with so-called alternative lifestyles, nor do I see anything wrong with that terminology for the reasons that I stated.

Maybe you should do a search for posts I have made or check out the introductions thread before making assumptions about my lifestyle.

-Vv

 

[Laurab]

Response

Maybe I should and I am certain you searched all my posts before responding to my reply, Correct? Or did you just assume that I am a person who makes assumptions? I vow not to respond until I have thouroughly searched out all of your posts! Please accept my humblest apology for being such an ignoramus. It's a wonder you feel that you can even reply to one who could not possibly comprehend! Thank you Sir for deeming me worthy!!

 

[serijules]

Words only have the power over us that we give them. I personaly, refuse to give that much power to an article of speech!

-Vv

Words to live by

Excellent post

 

[Domn8]

Thanks

Then you are in good company here, Domn8!

Welcome to the forum

(Cool nickname, by the way )

I appreciate the comment.

 

[A Desert Rose]

For me, it is not a lifestyle choice. Because I am only submissive in the bedroom, it is a kink, if you will. And I don't like that word either. What I like to do in the bedroom, I believe is not a lot different from what other people like to do. I do not think that BDSM is really out of the norm, at all. I think it is pretty mainstream, actually.

 

[MissTaken]

I would agree, DR.

It is simply a matter of people deciding to be open about it, discuss it in a formal setting or just do.

I know many men who are actually dominating, complete with an anticipation of obedience and kink, who shun the lifestyle and degrade those who openly engage in it.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes, I know them too. I just think that whatever is fun for a couple is fine for them... Rock on.

 

[stgeorge6602]

Being new to this site forgive me if I step on anyones toes,no harm was meant or intended..

For me I dont believe that the label "Alternative lifestyle" is in anyway meant to imply or suggest that any Moral , social or sexual deviation from what the majority of society deems as normal is wrong,just different..

GRVDIGGER ..RE>no quotes from the bible decreeing that a certain act or acts being forbidden,here are two..

Homosexuallity...sex between two people of the same sex.
FORBIDDEN.......

Sexual activity or even touching a women whilst she is on her Menses.....
FORBIDDEN......

LAURAB ..you make the statement,"whatever floats your boat"
True up to a point.

What about PEDOPHILIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is that really allright .......
Is it only wrong because its immoral,illegal and socially not acceptable.

Is sex with ANIMALS okay as long as its consenting....

I wear what I like,I dont follow fashion.
I speak my mind,even though sometimes I am wrong.
I try not to follow like a lamb to the slaughter.
I only hurt my partners,if thats what they want.
I try to live my life,as best as i can.
I am after all, nothing but a simple man.


Hope that I have done okay ,look forward to posting more my says.....

 

[stgeorge6602]

So SORRY that should have been LAURAB.
my bad......
thanxs artful,i edited the above on the 19.10...

 

[artful]

6602,...

Hope that I have done okay ,look forward to posting more my says.....

...Welcome to the Forum,...hope we get to see more of your postings here,...and I hope you enjoy your stay. Feel free to express your questions,...give your opinions,...or even start your own BDSM related thread TOPIC.

There are a few *stickys* at the top of Forum page you may wish to read,...a lot of good info in those,...especially Nemo's Library thread.

 

[UCE]

The "Norm" is simply the condition observed most often in a population. It has no implicit value attached.

I think that most reasonable people would agree that the norm in our society is straight, monogamous and vanilla.

The term "Alternative Lifestyle" was originally an attempt at politcal correctness.

It was meant to simply mean that there are lifestyles that fall outside the norm and was not meant to imply that there was anything wrong with them. The term was first applied to same-sex relationships and has since been co-opted by other groups.

Words only have the power over us that we give them. I personaly, refuse to give that much power to an article of speech!

-Vv

Agree fully. You've said everything I would have said, clearly, and in about 2000 less words. Kudos to you!

 

[UCE]

http://www.images.animfactory.com/animations/creatures/miscellaneous/grim_reaper_slashing_md_wht.gif

Gravedigger, this URL doesn't work for me. I try to go to it and I get a page not found error. Can you fix?

Unda