alright kiddies...

[helix27]

I have a question: I have never noticed it till lately... what is it with guys not wanting to go down on a girl? I never really noticed that its something that most guys (i talk to) do not do. then i see it more and more and more in the forums that guys don't do it. My question is to the guys who don't. Why not?

 

[SweetErika]

I have a question: I have never noticed it till lately... what is it with guys not wanting to go down on a girl? I never really noticed that its something that most guys (i talk to) do not do. then i see it more and more and more in the forums that guys don't do it. My question is to the guys who don't. Why not?

I'm obviously not a guy who doesn't, but I'll give this interesting topic a free bump.

It's funny because I was just thinking about how few men I see admitting they don't like giving oral here, and online in general. It seems most of what I see on the topic from both sexes is "I LOVE giving oral!" or "I'm a VERY oral person." It's like the ones who (presumably) like it are very vocal about it, and those who don't like it won't admit it in public. This skews my perspective, and I have trouble remembering there are lots of people who don't do or like performing oral.

So, my question for you is, where are you seeing all of these guys saying they won't do oral? Here, or on other sites, or both? Have you noticed any commonalities in the non-givers, e.g. age, cultural or religious background, experienced with sex vs. virgin or inexperienced?

I suspect age may be a big factor, and the youngest and oldest adults are less likely to enjoy giving oral. Not that I have a ton of experience even now, but when I was younger, it was a lot more rare for my partners to initiate and enjoy giving me oral. As I got older and started dating people who were more mature as well, I found them far more likely to initiate it and it seems like they really enjoy it.

I'd hypothesize that the younger crowd is generally more selfish (or less mutual) and perhaps is even acting out what they think sex should be, which is often based on porn, talking to their selfish friends, misguided articles, etc. The older crowd may have ideas that sex revolves around the man's pleasure and girly bits aren't fit to be licked.

 

[tommynova2001]

you also don't see woman very often admitting..

...that they aren't that into giving head. And you almost never hear of the woman that is just uncomfortable (for any number of reasons) having anyone "down there. My wife for one used to be. She liked the sensations but always felt that there was something that she was supposed to be "doing" for her partner (like giving head!) instead of lying there. She used to prefer to give than receive, she has come around lately, or maybe technique has improved. (If it ain't broke maybe I shoulda left well enough alone!)

I suspect that a large percentage of the "I live for cunnilingus" online are simply repeating to the world and themselves so often this mantra that they actually believe it. Some may be as eager in real life, some not. It costs nothing for either sex to claim to love giving oral, Its a great icebreaker online. "I like walks on the beach, moonlight, and giving head while you drive", Or "I love strawberries, expensive wine and eating you raw."

Some assume that this is the one thing that if done right (by them) will sway that person they see as attractive online, as if that is necessarily everyones absolute favorite exclusive activity sexually.

When it comes to those not giving there are only a few reasons I can think of that make sense.

One, the fantasy of going down on her didn't match up to reality. Some like it smooth some hirsute, if you happen across the type that doesn't match your favorite porno there may be a disconnect. so grooming that is appealing to your mate is important. On the subject of hygiene, one has to start with a palatable, healthy example. If there are odd or un-appealing tastes or dare I say odors, the partner may resist being so giving, and may not tell the person why.

Two the person who doesn't wish to has personal hang-ups abut it. We all
have things that turn us on or off. How you were raised can surely affect how you view body parts and their uses.

Three is that they may not feel that their efforts were worth while. Maybe they just don't feel that their partner (who might want it very much) is that into it. maybe she freezes up (maybe in pleasure even) but the feedback he is getting isn't telling him he is doing a good job. oral on a guy is pretty straight forward. On a girl not so much. I suspect it all feels good, but there are elusive and subtle aspects to female genitalia. The most sensitive parts tend to want to run and hide when it starts getting interesting.

Four is that people get lazy and take each other for granted. My wife and I have done this at times in the past. You fall into patterns you do what you have come to know works, and you don't put in the extra effort. mouths in general I find fall into disuse. New couples always kiss, people that have been doing it a long time give only perfunctionary kisses if they don't take to time to re-kindle.

 

[PertPerth]

I was a late-starter when it comes to relationships/sex and I clearly remember thinking "what the hell am I supposed to do with that!?". I was also shy about my body and letting a guy give me oral so I avoided it at any cost. It's only been since meeting my current boyfriend that I really enjoy both giving and receiving oral. He loves it too!

 

[gregor2001us]

Sorry, I can't help you. I love licking and smelling pussy. I have no idea why a guy wouldn't.

 

[elib257]

Three is that they may not feel that their efforts were worth while. Maybe they just don't feel that their partner (who might want it very much) is that into it. maybe she freezes up (maybe in pleasure even) but the feedback he is getting isn't telling him he is doing a good job. oral on a guy is pretty straight forward. On a girl not so much. I suspect it all feels good, but there are elusive and subtle aspects to female genitalia. The most sensitive parts tend to want to run and hide when it starts getting interesting.

I just thought I'd reiterate this point! Although I'm going on my experience with giving head to men. My ex hated it, never gave positive feedback etc and a few times even told me I wasn't very good at it. It really put me off. It got to the stage where I would just refuse to try. It's just a confidence thing.

Thankfully, I got rid and now love giving head again almost entirely because of one man who was very receptive Still it's not my favourite thing to do in the world but it's enjoyable as part of your sex life as a whole.

I like to think that I encourage the men who go down on me, lots of feedback, high levels of hygene etc. I would never want anybody to feel like I did about giving head.

 

[jbbrewer]

I've always told my early twenty-something nephews and their buddies that if they weren't going down and getting off on a woman's reaction, they're either selfish, sexually ignorant, aren't pleasing their women, going to lose their woman to someone who does enjoy going down, or all of the above. I have always took pride in my oral skills. Maybe it's an aquired taste? I am one guy who speaks fluent cunniligus!

 

[EjAcKuLaToR]

I too am a cunning-lingquist. I love going down. I would almost rather go down on my lady than poke...but not quite. I really, honestly enjoy it that much. I love watching her response to what I'm doing. I love watching her body move and shake a little bit as she's getting more and more aroused...I love watching her thrash about as she's cumming. All under my control.
It's awesome.

Shame she doesn't reciprocate.