All heterosexual men are oppressors.

[Never]

Most of the men I know are good fellows who have no problem with seeing women as women. I’m getting tired of hearing other feminists call men ‘oppressors’. If anything, it seems to be other women who constantly judge and criticize women who don’t act like they ‘ought’ to.

Yes, there are assholes out there. However, if they were the norm we wouldn’t call them assholes, would we?

I know a lot of this has to do with my age. My interaction with men must be quite different then what women experienced 60, 40, or even 20 years ago. Still, when I look around me I don’t see men who are afraid of females in power, or women who are their intellectual equal. I’m certain as I grow and my peer group begins to domesticate and climb the corporate latter I’ll begin to see these ‘traditional’ views increasingly. I know that college can be something of a haven when it comes to liberal thought and action.

That said, my stepfather calls me every week or so remind me that I’m supposed to be making As. His expectations for my future are just as high as those he had for his son. They’re higher in fact because he knows I can do better. The only friends that I have who are married are Mischka and Mr. Mischka. As far as I can tell, they have an equitable relationship and Mischka’s life does not revolve around him.

I’ve never had any man on campus treat me as anything other than an equal. I’ve never heard anything to suggest that women are lesser to men in mind or body. I’m not saying that gender bias doesn’t exist. I’m just saying that most people who have it are aware enough to not assume people will agree with their opinion.

I was wondering how other women have been treated by the men in their lives. If they are treated as equals. If they’ve noticed a difference over time.

Men, of course, are more than welcome to weigh in on the subject if they wish.

 

[Jim_Henson]

I guess I'm unopressable.

~edit~

Its fair judgement I think, equality is far more the norm nowadays, and you can keep being opressed by all the crusty old white guys cause they are dying out.

 

[CoolidgEffect]

We can all be like a tongue suppressor.

 

[penguindance]

 

[Guest]

the corporate latter

Do you have misspell twice?

 

[Lost Cause]

To have an enemy, you must first demonize them..

Look at Louie Farakhan, he portrays all white people as devils, satan on earth. Look at commies, the rich and prosperous are envied and hated. Same thing for the feminazis that see all men as something to be hated for all past transgressions against women. Look at the sheer punishment of the judgement in child custody hearings, and you can see who really should be pissed off!
Like always, if you put the average Jane and Joe together in a work environment, the job will get done without any interference from someone with a psychotic demeanor.

 

[curious2c]

I personally have no problem with a woman for a boss. This has happended to me in the past and I found that, at least in those three circumstances, they were better at doing the job than theprevious men had been. Theygave you the job and you went and did it. No interference, no 'you should do it this way', just pretty much, 'here, this is what I'd like you to do today."

 

[sexy-girl]

i must admit that my boss at work is what i would call sexist its not that he's mean to woman ... infact its often the opposite its just that he treats female employees differently


but i do agree with you never ... i have many male friends and i even play 5 aside football with a group of them ... and when im playing football its just as if i was another one of the guys they dont make any snide remarks and they play just as tough against me as each other

 

[curious2c]

My parents grew up in the thirties, married in the forties. Once, my mom had to go to work outside of the home. This was in the seventies. I thought my father was going to go off the deep end. It really bothered him a lot. i was surprised, since I had been brought up thinking that women were special, but also equal to men. A real mind opening experience for me, to see my father having fits over mom going to work. It got so bad at one point, I offered to go get a job instead, but then mom got mad and put her foot down. Problem solved, very short order.

 

[Jim_Henson]

and when im playing football its just as if i was another one of the guys they dont make any snide remarks and they play just as tough against me as each other

Cept when you chest the ball down dear... natural advantage there...

 

[sexy-girl]

Cept when you chest the ball down dear... natural advantage there...

5 aside rules the ball isn't allowed above head height though

 

[lavender]

 

[curious2c]

Ten years? I think it will be only somewhat better for women. Change like this takes generations to change. The 'oppressors' of society have to bend and change to gain much. There has been great inroads to be sure, but I think in ten years you will only see a few more corporate leaders being women, and perhaps the job/work place will show some improvement.

Mostly it hinges on what makes business sense I am afraid. That seems to have been the driving force for the last twenty years or so.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

If you cannot define yourself without first qualifying how you're defined by another group, you've got more work to do.

 

[crystalizedjoy]

3 of my 4 best friends in the world are women.. I rely on their intelligence and advice, and I respect them more then I do myself some days.. They can easily handle their own problems, (tho I help just because they ARE my friends) I fully support them in any endeavor they pursue, regardless.

And I'm patiently waitng to vote for a woman president, but none have shown up yet.

Even though Saddam better be paranoid about once a month..
which is alot better, cuz I'm cranky and irritable every day of the week, all year round.. so a woman is probably preferable..

 

[sufisaint]

I sometimes think women are crazy to want into corporate america.....want to shorten your life by a couple of years worrying about who is back stabbing who? Do they really want to be the egoic corporate executives who are basically spoiled little children running around belittling people to make themselves feel better. Coming home in a bad mood and taking out on their family or being basically an absent parent. Unfornatley most female exuctives i have known have been worse than the males because they had to "better" and "tougher" because they were a woman. None of them I considered to be "happy' people. But the same goes for men. Even the whole head of the hosehold thing is ridicoulous on both sides. Who wants the pressure of making all the descions and laying down the law. You never get to enjoy anything. I guess i still just believe in being equitable in any relationship...just talk things out, love each and try to help each other...and as for work, do your job and be a good honest person.

 

[Lancecastor]

A Message From Dad.

I always made very high marks in school.

But you could bet his bottom dollar that when I came home with a 98% on an exam the first question from my dad was "What happened to the other 2%?"

It sounds to me like your stepdad loves you and wants you to be everything you can be....and also wants to feel like he's getting good value for that cheque he wrote.

Money doesn't grow on trees you know, young lady.



Dads that want their offspring to do really well should not be confused with "oppressive het men", Never.

They are Dads....and a Dad is a different species for the purposes of your example.

Now....get back to the books and get off that goddamned Internet! That's all you do, stuck there with your nose in that screen! What's the matter with you anyway?

Lance "Dad" Castor

 

[curious2c]

Just being an honest person is a tough enough job for some people. I still think that corporate executives can effect change, if they really wanted to.

Maybe having women in more jobs like that will effect change to a more honest workplace and corporate America. Who know?

 

[Rubyfruit]

I've never felt oppressed by men in positions of power, but I have by women.

 

[TWB]

This thread is oppressive.

 

[dreamer]

I think Never's comment re: there being assholes out there but they're not the norm is pretty on target.

I have however known many women who have dealt with far to many of those assholes and I can tell you it makes life so much more difficult for those of us who respect and love women, in any setting. <shrug>

Ruby, as for women seeming to be more likely to 'oppress' hehe...I think that is often responsive to the difficulties they face in such a role. I think when open communication exists most women in a position of authority/power WANT to be fair and un-oppressive, but feel like they have to enforce their power or lose it. I know men like that too, and they're the type of leaders that feel insecure with their authority and feel as if they have to justify their power through actions...bad leadership in my opinion.

I think this insecurity, if you will, will only get better with time as women get used to being in such positions. AND as men get used to handling it. However there will always be those who just aren't cut out for positions of power and authority. I believe power must come with a certain level of self awareness. It is this self awareness that allows those in power to use it responsibly and cordialy.

 

[Laurel]

Never, I think the men you deal with today aren't the problem. The power structure and attitudes that are left over from years & years ago are.

That said, I think that in 50 years, the world will be a very different place. I think as the men & women from the "old school" are replaced by generations of men & women to whom a woman boss is no different than a man boss.

It will take time for the young professional women of the last 20 years to gain experience & make their way into the "power structure". As this happens, things will change. They ARE changing.

Nothing changes overnight. It's virtually impossible to truly change the attitudes of older people. Real change in society starts with the kids. It's easy to get frustrated with the remnants of the old guard, but just know that they're on their way out, and those who replace them won't think a female CEO is a big deal, won't think a woman who buys porn is odd, and will see men and women as equal partners in life.

 

[TWB]

Never, I think the men you deal with today aren't the problem. The power structure and attitudes that are left over from years & years ago are.

That said, I think that in 50 years, the world will be a very different place. I think as the men & women from the "old school" are replaced by generations of men & women to whom a woman boss is no different than a man boss.

It will take time for the young professional women of the last 20 years to gain experience & make their way into the "power structure". As this happens, things will change. They ARE changing.

Nothing changes overnight. It's virtually impossible to truly change the attitudes of older people. Real change in society starts with the kids. It's easy to get frustrated with the remnants of the old guard, but just know that they're on their way out, and those who replace them won't think a female CEO is a big deal, won't think a woman who buys porn is odd, and will see men and women as equal partners in life.

Now I feel unopressed. I feel fucky-o.

 

[sexy-girl]

Never, I think the men you deal with today aren't the problem. The power structure and attitudes that are left over from years & years ago are.

that is very true ... its like what they say about civil service in the uk the government may change but it takes about 20 years for something to change in the civil service

even though people may be less oppressive and sexist there is still the whole structure left behind from years ago ... like laurel said

 

[dreamer]

and will see men and women as equal partners in life.

I for one certainly hope so.