Age Differences

[Nora]

Oh goody. I love being the dissenting voice.

I find geezer guys who cling to little girls repulsive and suspect. I don't care how mature a woman (or man, for that matter) *thinks* they are in their early 20's, they've almost always got a helluva lot of growing up to do yet. Mostly in the areas of learning what THEY want from life as opposed to pleasing others. Of course, from what I've seen that's what the older male LIKES about those relationships. The woman has a tendency to act like a lap dog trying to please the misbegotten geezer. Men who require women to be easy and acquiecent annoy the fuck outta me no matter what the age pairing, though.

You do what you want. Everyone does. My choice for myself is that it says nothing good about either the man or the woman in that relationship.


(ahh, that was a pleasant break from lurkdom! Carry on! )

 

[dgnr8469]

speaking from experience

I have some substantial experience in this area...

I dated a young woman a few years back who was 5 years younger than me. (She was 18, I was 23) Without going into too much detail, I will simply say that I loved as much as it is possible for one person to love another, and for the brief time we were a couple, she made me feel more alive than I have ever felt.

To this day, I miss her terribly. Not one day has gone by that I don't think about her. And while I do move on, I still love her dearly.

So to answer your question, yes it is most definitely possible to find happiness with someone older/younger than you are. Are there some trials to endure that some other, so-called conventional couples don't have to deal with? Without question yes. The trick is whether or not you let those trials break you or strengthen you both as individuals and as a couple.

Just a thought from a hopeless romantic....


P.S. To the one that got away.... I miss you.

 

[UnseenChagrin]

I"ve always enjoyed older guys... they are generally more experienced and more open to things. Plus they know how to treat a girl right!

 

[Tx girl]

DiamenteBella, i understand what you were saying about your mom dating someone your age.. because that did happen to me at one time and it did freak the hell out of me!

Kitte, I also in the beginning got a lot of OMG your robbing the craddle BS! My husband then was more mature then alot of the guys my age and older!

 

[perks]

Nora, I think that sometimes, the guy is the one who will end up doing anything for the younger girl.

But that can be said for lots of controlling relationships, not just ones with great age differences.

 

[calypso_21]

...what do people think about age gaps and are there any of you out there with bigger age gaps?

I've always dated older men. I can't explain it. I'm just attracted to a mature man. I was involved with a man who was close to the same age gap as you and your girlfriend when I was 19. He was amazing. Unfortunately he wanted to settle down, he had his own business, owned his own home, and was very set in his ways. I had not even determined my ways yet. I wasn't anywhere near to settling down.

Now that I am older I find I am still attracted to the older man...well, a mature man anyway.

 

[Nora]

Nora, I think that sometimes, the guy is the one who will end up doing anything for the younger girl.

But that can be said for lots of controlling relationships, not just ones with great age differences.

I think that I agree with you about controlling relationships, but disagree on the guy doing anything for the younger girl. If you talk to these guys, they say things like, "oh she makes me feel young!" or "she's not tainted and bitter like older women are!" It's all about them. It's about making THEM feel good. It's about their comfort. The woman, from what I've seen, is disposible and interchangeable, so long as the body's young.

 

[Guest]

Age is what you make out of it

 

[Mia62]

It's all about them. It's about making THEM feel good. It's about their comfort. The woman, from what I've seen, is disposible and interchangeable, so long as the body's young.

If you take out the finger pointing...the above statement can apply to EVERY relationship in the world...without a thought to age or gender.

 

[perks]

I think that I agree with you about controlling relationships, but disagree on the guy doing anything for the younger girl. If you talk to these guys, they say things like, "oh she makes me feel young!" or "she's not tainted and bitter like older women are!" It's all about them. It's about making THEM feel good. It's about their comfort. The woman, from what I've seen, is disposible and interchangeable, so long as the body's young.

I can't say that the vibrancy of youth is not attractive, nor a young body, because it is.

I've heard just as many, "he's so caring" "he shows me love in more ways than any guy my age ever could" and "He's not all about him getting off".

Younger women feel secure in older men, and feel that not only do they get the body, but they get the experience too.

 

[Eumenides]

I want a nineteen year old, hard bodied, spanish speaking poolboy who will pleasure me at will, and look nice on my arm. Is that really too much to ask out of life? Oh, and I want him to always have a sheen of perspiration on his skin.

Yup, that's what I want.


(No, I'm not getting into this debate )

 

[Nora]

If you take out the finger pointing...the above statement can apply to EVERY relationship in the world...without a thought to age or gender.

lol I hope people don't view others as disposible or interchangeable!!

Perks, they also get the flacid willies and the bald heads and the saggy jaws.

Like I said before, it's not true of every relationship. In general, I view geezers who lust after young women to be predators and usually not very nice (or self-confident in their own right) creatures who can't handle a strong, confident, grown-up woman and who can't face the reality that they themselves are aging and losing their um...let's say "vim and vigor".

 

[Mia62]

Oh, and I want him to always have a sheen of perspiration on his skin.

Yup, that's what I want.

Personally...I think I would want him to shower...that sheen is gonna start to stink.

 

[calypso_21]

I want a nineteen year old, hard bodied, spanish speaking poolboy who will pleasure me at will, and look nice on my arm. Is that really too much to ask out of life? Oh, and I want him to always have a sheen of perspiration on his skin.

Yup, that's what I want.


(No, I'm not getting into this debate )

Not too much to ask at all.

 

[Eumenides]

He can shower with me.

 

[perks]

lol I hope people don't view others as disposible or interchangeable!!

Perks, they also get the flacid willies and the bald heads and the saggy jaws.

Like I said before, it's not true of every relationship. In general, I view geezers who lust after young women to be predators and usually not very nice (or self-confident in their own right) creatures who can't handle a strong, confident, grown-up woman and who can't face the reality that they themselves are aging and losing their um...let's say "vim and vigor".

I agree that some men are like that, I just don't think it's all of them, in fact, I know it isn't.

But it's okay for us to have different perspectives, I enjoy our differences.

 

[calypso_21]

....who can't handle a strong, confident, grown-up woman and who can't face the reality that they themselves are aging and losing their um...let's say "vim and vigor".

Maybe it is because I've always been strong and confident but I just had to add to this convo that the older men I've been involved with have not um...been lacking in the vim...nor the vigor departments.

I'm not the only one with this thought either. I have a couple of friends who are involved with mature men or were in the past and have felt the same...they just prefer that scenario.

To each his/her own.

 

[k¡tty]

I've been with someone who is 30 years older than I. Just one of the many things that I loved about him.


lol I could barely keep up with him! He worked out 4 times a week, was an avid golf player and well his ability perform sexually .. was never an issue. ;-)

 

[Nora]

I agree that some men are like that, I just don't think it's all of them, in fact, I know it isn't.

But it's okay for us to have different perspectives, I enjoy our differences.

Of course it's not all of them. But I'm more than happy to provide a list of those who are. *grins* Hell, there's plenty of them on Lit alone. Of course, judging humanity by some of the sludge we've got filtered through here might not be a plan.

Caly, see above. I never said all. If you and your friends are happy with geezers, go for it.

Btw, just to clarify. I'm not talking about a 5-10 yr age difference (except for the very young, of course). I'm talking about the 20+ age differences. And I'm sorry, but nothing anyone says is going to make me view men who seek out women 20+ years younger than they are as anything other than slime.

 

[Guest]

I only date younger guys. It seems guys my age are either married or just want to sit around on their asses and watch TV. Having done the marriage thing already and having no sane plan to do it again any time soon in this lifetime, I just want to have fun. I say, age is just a number, and personally, I don't give a shit what other people think. I'm not living to please them.