Age and Experience

[my_literotica_account]

A thought occurred to me as I was reading some stories. Some authors are better than others when it comes to describing details in the sex scenes. Do you think that authors who can pen a better sex scene are more mature and have had more experiences themselves? Do you think that your age has given you more material to work with? LOL.

 

[RejectReality]

It's hardly an absolute. With enough research, you can learn to write about something you've never personally experienced and do it well. Sex is no different.

Your odds are way better than average that someone who writes good sex scenes has been there and done that, though.

 

[jezzaz]

I do laugh at some of the threesomes people write in these stories.

If you've never been in one, you'll never know the hesitation, the not understanding how to share, how to choose positions that give someone else access, the understanding when the woman is deep into it, how she dis-regards the non-pounding person, and all the other small nuances of that kind of thing.

I've been in a fair few threesomes and even I get surprised at how many times it really just becomes a two some with one person watching and waiting their turn, because the other guy hasn't a clue how to share and be aware that he is sharing.

People think that threesomes just "work out". They don't - not without everyone being aware of what it's like to be left just sitting there, playing with your dick waiting for the other guy to climb off.

 

[sr71plt]

Yeah, if you assume the threesome includes a woman.

To the OP--I'm sure that you're right. That its the age thing that makes a good sex story.

 

[Darkniciad]

I'd say that for the most part, people are here for fantasy, and don't really care that much about the issues that pop up in the real world when there are more than two in a bed.

It's no different than a 1on1 scene, really. Pauses for someone to pick hairs out of their teeth, or shove those panties back out of the way -- again -- because someone just got a triple stroke of rug burn off them.

I do sneak those things in, though. It's situational as to whether it drags the scene down or enhances it.

I do laugh at some of the threesomes people write in these stories.

If you've never been in one, you'll never know the hesitation, the not understanding how to share, how to choose positions that give someone else access, the understanding when the woman is deep into it, how she dis-regards the non-pounding person, and all the other small nuances of that kind of thing.

I've been in a fair few threesomes and even I get surprised at how many times it really just becomes a two some with one person watching and waiting their turn, because the other guy hasn't a clue how to share and be aware that he is sharing.

People think that threesomes just "work out". They don't - not without everyone being aware of what it's like to be left just sitting there, playing with your dick waiting for the other guy to climb off.

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[3113]

Do you think that authors who can pen a better sex scene are more mature and have had more experiences themselves? Do you think that your age has given you more material to work with?

I think age gives them more patience to write it out right rather than doing it quick because they're jacking off while they write it and want to climax

I'm not totally kidding. Obviously, people are using their imaginations as well as experiences when they write erotica; and they write whatever fantasy gets them off. Grossly generalizing here (because there are many gifted and caring young erotic writers, and equally many sloppy older writers)....I think younger writers are less likely to think of their readers; the story is for them and to get them off. So why spend a lot of time on it? Rather like fanfic, the details are already known and don't have to be mentioned. The reader only needs an outline.

This style of writing, however, comes across as poorly written to strangers; rather like someone reading Harry Potter fanfic who knows nothing of Harry Potter. The writing will have a lot of big blanks or things don't make sense (one of those stories where the reader scratches their head trying to figure out who is fucking who—and whose hand/tongue is that... ), or it just uses poor word choices. Ones that fail to make the reader feel like they are there.

More mature writers, on the other hand and in my erotica-reading-experience, want to communicate their imagined (or real life) experience to others. They take time with the characters, logistics, finding the right word to get across what it was really like (or how they imagine it'd really be like). Perhaps its because mature writers have learned to savor such moments, but they often seem to savor the writing of erotica a bit more than most young writers.

Again, this is a gross generalization, but I think my answer is that if you see a difference in quality between young and old, it has less to do with experience or lack thereof then it does with understanding and caring about communicating with the reader.

 

[SamScribble]

There's an old adage that says: Write what you know. But I suspect it is more a matter of 'write what you can clearly picture in your mind'. I'm sure if you have 'been there, done that' it is easier.

 

[SecondCircle]

I've read stuff from young writers and older writers. From both I've seen that each can produce good writing and terrible writing. In this regard and in others, age is a number oftentimes that doesn't necessarily equate to skill or maturity.

As for experience, I think it certainly would help, but doesn't have to be a factor. Obviously people who've never experienced a situation can be vulnerable to writing inaccurately, but not always.

I just think it boils down to the individual writer. He/she could be of any age with any level of skill and still produce a masterpiece. Or a pile of crap. On any given day.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I do laugh at some of the threesomes people write in these stories.

If you've never been in one, you'll never know the hesitation, the not understanding how to share, how to choose positions that give someone else access, the understanding when the woman is deep into it, how she dis-regards the non-pounding person, and all the other small nuances of that kind of thing.

Plus, the difficulty of reconciling three sets of schedules instead of two ;-)

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Experience does not necessarily equate to age. Someone who has watched a lot of homemade porn could, if they had the skill to write in the first place, pen a pretty decent sex scene. Although having sex does give the person some insight to the act.

I have read a lot of stuff here at Lit. Some of the sex scenes I have found flat, without substance. Others have rev'ed my engine. I never questioned the age of the author, but if was to hazard a guess the ones that got my motor running were written by someone with some experience, not necessarily age type experience.

So, you can gain experience by either reading, watching or doing. Which is why I probably have difficulty writing BDSM. I've read and watched, but never experienced either side.

 

[StrangeLife]

People think that threesomes just "work out". They don't - not without everyone being aware of what it's like to be left just sitting there, playing with your dick waiting for the other guy to climb off.

That is how threesomes work - at least MFM with two straight guys.

Unless you're doing double penetration, having a girl service two guys simultaneously only serves to distract her from enjoying herself and both guys will get a half-baked experience. Technically you'd call it "tag teaming" I suppose, but "threesome" sounds better.




As far as age/experience goes, I don't see a major effect in the sex scenes but rather in the rest of the story.

As has been pointed out already, anybody can write a sex scene based on hear-say - the mechanics ain't that complicated. But when it comes to describing a relationship and the way people react, experience definitely matters. For instance you can't really write convincingly about the anguish and rage after a cheating spouse unless you've been there yourself. So if you're after a real story with credible characters and not just a generic sex scene, experience counts.

Without having done the math myself, I will venture a guess that the average age in the Lit Hall of Fame is well above 40... maybe even 50.

 

[Darkniciad]

Without having done the math myself, I will venture a guess that the average age in the Lit Hall of Fame is well above 40... maybe even 50.

That at least jives with the Alexa stats for Lit. Males of that age dominate the traffic they log.

 

[lovecraft68]

A thought occurred to me as I was reading some stories. Some authors are better than others when it comes to describing details in the sex scenes. Do you think that authors who can pen a better sex scene are more mature and have had more experiences themselves? Do you think that your age has given you more material to work with? LOL.

Good question.

I would say that age does not have anything to do with experience. By my early 20's I'd had experiences that could rival any BDSM story on this site.

And as for age adding to-for lack of a better term-writing talent I don;t think so either. A couple of people who I consider amongst the best on this site I know are barely out of their early twenties.

The only thing I think age has given me is probably better focus and more of an ability to "game plan" what I'm writing and given me more patience to do it.

 

[lovecraft68]

That is how threesomes work - at least MFM with two straight guys.

Unless you're doing double penetration, having a girl service two guys simultaneously only serves to distract her from enjoying herself and both guys will get a half-baked experience. Technically you'd call it "tag teaming" I suppose, but "threesome" sounds better.




As far as age/experience goes, I don't see a major effect in the sex scenes but rather in the rest of the story.

As has been pointed out already, anybody can write a sex scene based on hear-say - the mechanics ain't that complicated. But when it comes to describing a relationship and the way people react, experience definitely matters. For instance you can't really write convincingly about the anguish and rage after a cheating spouse unless you've been there yourself. So if you're after a real story with credible characters and not just a generic sex scene, experience counts.

Without having done the math myself, I will venture a guess that the average age in the Lit Hall of Fame is well above 40... maybe even 50.

This is why I have always preferred to be part of a train than a gang bang. Those like you said involve a lot of guys standing around wondering what the hell to do and there is too much going on for anyone to really enjoy.

With a train each guy gets his "time" with the woman and she enjoys each one with the added thrill of knowing there is going to be a "next"

as for the hall of fame comment? If you're talking about the top 250 author list I will agree that I don;t think there is anyone under late 30's there.

But again to me that has nothing to do with experience or talent, but being at a place in life where you have focus and time.

I'm 45 and married and settled down. At 25 I couldn't sit still. It was work, girls karate, girls darts, girls pool, girls....

 

[A_Little_Show]

[deleted]

 

[lovecraft68]

How do you drill into Alexa stats far enough to determine the age and gender that dominates traffic or writes stories. That information isn't even known to Literotica let alone Alexa (is it?).

apparently it is

 

[lovecraft68]

Just took a look at the top 250 author list and out of the top 25 going by bios(which of course may not be true) and things I know about some of them through posts or correspondence the only one I think is under 40 for sure is Jaz Cullen.

'Nikki_2021 bio says 27-32 but she has been here since 2004 so if she has not updated that she is now in the 40 range.

 

[Darkniciad]

How do you drill into Alexa stats far enough to determine the age and gender that dominates traffic or writes stories. That information isn't even known to Literotica let alone Alexa (is it?).

They don't show it anymore except on a paid account, but it used to show a lot more data for free such as the age groups, and it was consistently skewed toward the older age groups.

I have to assume that trend continues, and the male dominance is still visible on the free stats.

http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/literotica.com

 

[lovecraft68]

I hope she does not mind me calling her out but the author Cruel2bkind negates the age/experience theory totally.

First she is all of about 20 and second she writes mostly GM stories. her page is pretty much a sea of red and most of her feedback excellent. So go figure.

Larasscasse is another excellent writer and young. His scores do not reflect it as much as he writes pretty much to the beat of his own drummer, but the stuff is very good.

 

[3113]

First she is all of about 20 and second she writes mostly GM stories. her page is pretty much a sea of red and most of her feedback excellent. So go figure.

Not to take away from the sea of red or excellent feedback (I haven't read these stories--they might be brilliant), but consider "Fifty Shades," our always good-to-go example. The sex scenes were criticized as not good, not realistic, etc. BUT, using the Twilight universe as a jumping off point (a universe that a lot of readers were keyed into and so could fill in the blanks), the writer gave the readers the fantasy sex (and fantasy romance) they wanted to read about. Essentially, all she had to do was give readers an outline and let them color it in.

If her world, characters, themes, etc. had been original, however, she would have had a much harder time getting such enthusiastic feedback.

Putting it another way--and you know this from your comic book days, I'm sure, Tolkien had to really take his time and write up Lord of the Rings. He even wrote an essay about how important it was to him to make his imaginings "real" however fantastic they were. But everyone who came after and plagiarized his universe didn't have to put in nearly as much time or effort to get all those fans. They just had to give readers stuff that looked Tolkien-esque (powerful bearded wizard, check, tall beautiful elves, check, talking dragons, check, big bad evil overlord, check....). If it was enough to give readers their fix, that's all that mattered. Rather like those addicts who are happy with a diluted version of their drug so long as it gives them that familiar rush.

That doesn't mean all writers of such fiction shirk their duties, but it does mean that a lot can get away with short cuts and shorthand. So long as readers get the key elements they crave (be it tall beautiful elves or BDSM as they'd like it to be rather than how it really is) the story will be popular and praised by said readers. And if you key into an already large fandom (Tolkien or Twilight), ride that wave as it were, you can end up with a super popular book even though it hasn't done anything to earn it.

I bring this all up, by the way, only because the OP asked about writing good sex scenes, not popular sex scenes. We all know there's a difference there

 

[lovecraft68]

Not to take away from the sea of red or excellent feedback (I haven't read these stories--they might be brilliant), but consider "Fifty Shades," our always good-to-go example. The sex scenes were criticized as not good, not realistic, etc. BUT, using the Twilight universe as a jumping off point (a universe that a lot of readers were keyed into and so could fill in the blanks), the writer gave the readers the fantasy sex (and fantasy romance) they wanted to read about. Essentially, all she had to do was give readers an outline and let them color it in.

If her world, characters, themes, etc. had been original, however, she would have had a much harder time getting such enthusiastic feedback.

Putting it another way--and you know this from your comic book days, I'm sure, Tolkien had to really take his time and write up Lord of the Rings. He even wrote an essay about how important it was to him to make his imaginings "real" however fantastic they were. But everyone who came after and plagiarized his universe didn't have to put in nearly as much time or effort to get all those fans. They just had to give readers stuff that looked Tolkien-esque (powerful bearded wizard, check, tall beautiful elves, check, talking dragons, check, big bad evil overlord, check....). If it was enough to give readers their fix, that's all that mattered. Rather like those addicts who are happy with a diluted version of their drug so long as it gives them that familiar rush.

That doesn't mean all writers of such fiction shirk their duties, but it does mean that a lot can get away with short cuts and shorthand. So long as readers get the key elements they crave (be it tall beautiful elves or BDSM as they'd like it to be rather than how it really is) the story will be popular and praised by said readers. And if you key into an already large fandom (Tolkien or Twilight), ride that wave as it were, you can end up with a super popular book even though it hasn't done anything to earn it.

Point taken, but James is a bad example because she did everything you said. She ripped off another author's work and wrote the most unoriginal cliche riddled pile of fluff you can find.

Which is exactly why it sold. The masses want bubble gum top 40 been there done that material. Originality is generally not well responded to in the beginning.

But we're talking about lit in general(or I think we are) and my only point is she is a good example that neither age or real life experience are necessary to write well. She is definitely on the original side which makes her sea of red more impressive because she is not writing to the popular crowd.

 

[JKendallDane]

I hope she does not mind me calling her out but the author Cruel2bkind negates the age/experience theory totally.

First she is all of about 20 and second she writes mostly GM stories. her page is pretty much a sea of red and most of her feedback excellent. So go figure.

kitten2010 fits the same way...straight female that wrote some of the hottest GM stories on LE during her junior and senior year of college. If you really want to have cold reality hit you in the face, find out that regardless of your own 40 years of actual experience, you have just been awed by a straight college girl with a story with such intense sex scenes that you wish yours were as good.

As far as the age and experience question, I think that both come into play when writing, but never believe that you can assume they are the trump card.

 

[StrangeLife]

This is why I have always preferred to be part of a train than a gang bang. Those like you said involve a lot of guys standing around wondering what the hell to do and there is too much going on for anyone to really enjoy.

With a train each guy gets his "time" with the woman and she enjoys each one with the added thrill of knowing there is going to be a "next"...

In my experience the biggest problem with MFM threesomes is being the guy who finishes first.

Especially if the "F" happens to be your wife or girlfriend. When you're aroused you might enjoy watching her thrashing around under another guy, but once you're in the post-orgasmic state and the big head takes over, you just want it to be over with.

Which is why wifey and I only play with couples or FMF...

I hope she does not mind me calling her out but the author Cruel2bkind negates the age/experience theory totally.

First she is all of about 20 and second she writes mostly GM stories. her page is pretty much a sea of red and most of her feedback excellent. So go figure.

Larasscasse is another excellent writer and young. His scores do not reflect it as much as he writes pretty much to the beat of his own drummer, but the stuff is very good.

There are plenty of exceptions. Generally though, the mature writers definitely seem to dominate the more ambitious stories...

 

[lovecraft68]

In my experience the biggest problem with MFM threesomes is being the guy who finishes first.

Especially if the "F" happens to be your wife or girlfriend. When you're aroused you might enjoy watching her thrashing around under another guy, but once you're in the post-orgasmic state and the big head takes over, you just want it to be over with.

Which is why wifey and I only play with couples or FMF...





There are plenty of exceptions. Generally though, the mature writers definitely seem to dominate the more ambitious stories...

I have never been involved in group sex with an SO. Either I was the "spare" guy at swingers parties or there were times me and a girl who was a friend with benefits would hook up with a similar couple. But that makes sense. Another "un-sexy" group sex reality.

As for mature the one thing here to always keep in mind I suppose is who knows what is real and not here. Gender is always a question about authors and readers so age would be no different.

But I get the "feel" from a lot of authors that they are older.