AfterPlay......

[suthernhunny]

My lover and I have decided to try a mff 3some. This is something I want to do for the experience and for the excitement.

However, as the reality closes in and we begin to meet women that are possible partners, I am feeling some reservations.....

His attentiveness give me thrills... will I lose that in a 3some?
Will I still be "special" toward him during and after?
Am I interviewing my replacement?

 

[Minout]

I would suggest that you put on the brakes. Sounds like you are having lots of reservations. Maybe you got caught up in the excitement of making a fantasy a reality. Maybe you are just having cold feet. Unless you are confident and comfortable in the relationship that you currently have, it would be unwise, even foolish to add a third person to the mix. If you are worried now that you may be interviewing your replacement, then how will you feel afterwards, when your partner makes what he considers an innocent remark about another woman? Having sex with more than one person at a time can be a truly amazing experience. It can be some of the most fun sex you can have but, if you do it when you'd rather not, it can be a slippery slope to Splitsville.

To answer your questions, no, he won't be as attentive to you as he would be if there were just the two of you in the bed (or floor or tent or wherever) but, there will be someone else there being attentive to you as well. It is unlikely that you will be left to your own devices, unless of course you want to be. Unless you are making a mistake in this, you will be just as special to him before as after. You are the one he loves not her. If being in a treesome is really right for you, you may even be more special to him.

Good luck. Have fun. Place safe. Don't run with scissors and remember, you don't have to do this if you don't want to. Sometimes fantasies are better left to your imagination.

 

[SexyChele]

Have to agree with Minout on this one. You really have to prepare yourself to be able to see your lover with another woman - pleasuring her and getting pleasure from her. Think about it. You will not be the princess every one is vying for. You will be on equal footing with her, at least physically.

Be certain you really want an MFF, or if you are truly just bi-curious. Big difference.

Be certain of what you want. Consider all, and I do mean all, options of what might or might not happen.

Good luck to ya!

 

[BreadMan]

Sounds to me like you have some major concerns. You should talk with your man about these before you continue.
Suggest that you all have a MMF threesome and see how he reacts to that. In this case you would be second to another woman. But then he might feel the same way. So were are the two of you then. At the same point.
Maybe you both need to build on your relationship before you consider this.
I have never had a three some but have talked about it numerous times and we both agree that we could not do it because we would be afraid of what we would feel afterwards.

 

[peachykeen]

Umm, would this be the married guy you mentioned in the affairs thread?

If so...

Just my opinion, but, what a greedy motherfu - I mean, gentleman

 

[SexyChele]

Umm, would this be the married guy you mentioned in the affairs thread?

If so...

Just my opinion, but, what a greedy motherfu - I mean, gentleman

Um, I do believe that she said he is "newly single". Kinda explains a lot, but whatever....

 

[peachykeen]

I must have missed that, but I went back and looked and I don't see where she said 'newly single'. Even so, tho, if it's the same guy, I stand by my sentiment.

 

[Shadowann2]

I've had a MFF threesome with my hubby. I loved it and it was great! But it was a spur of the moment, drunken experience. I wish I had planned it out ahead of time and been more sober so I could remenber more of it! I think you are going about it the right way, but if you are that concerned about how it will be I don't think your relationship is ready for that step. My hubby's post-threesome reaction shocked me, concidering it was his idea. He cried because he didn't like shareing me, even with another woman! Sometimes it is better for a fantasy to stay a fantasy, because the reality isn't what you thought it would be.
**Sigh** I wish he liked it better because I would like to do it again!

 

[suthernhunny]

Thanks to each and all for your replies....

It might help if I explain the situation more clearly.....
I am married
He was married until two weeks ago (had nothing to do with our relationship)
I had never physically cheated on my husband
He had cheated
Six hundred miles from home, our eyes met across the room. We smiled and flirted... and he was gone. The next night, a different place, our eyes meet across the room. And then he was gone....



Three weeks later, I see him again.... 30 minutes from my home and the chemistry is instant! Never have I felt such a rush of electricity run through my body. Nor had he.....
We knew from the start it would never, could never be more than sex between us. The agreement is to have fun....we fulfill each others' fantasies..... we tease and flirt for hours before sex......we have FUN!!

Being with him has taught me to FEEL life, not just be in it. And part of that is new experiences... like a ffm 3some - his fantasy (and how many other mens'?).
I have never been with a woman and have no desire to continue with a woman, but I do want to experience the tenderness of a woman's touch.

AND THEN my fantasy........a mmf 3some!

 

[lilpriss]

If it's "just sex" why the doubts? Just a question...

As in all of these "How To's" ... you're gonna have to TALK TO YOUR PARTNER!

If he knows of the reservations you have, then he may very well back up and take a closer look.

I mean, there must be something in your marriage that is missing, so do you seriously want to be in a relationship outside your marraige that causes MORE worries?? I wouldn't.

 

[Hairgrip]

have to say i agree with lilpriss. if, as you say, this is a relationship based purely on sex (and there's nothing wrong with that at all) then does it matter about the subsequent events? admittedly it can be very difficult to seperate sex and emotion (one of the best things i remember hearing was that if you had masturbated yourself to orgasm it stopped you from thinking that an orgasm delivered by the person of your dreams meant you loved them...).
if sex and emotion are tightly tied together then maybe, just maybe, you need to re-evaluate the relationship.
the idea of a mff sounds wonderful to me... but only in fantasy land. it is a thought that can turn me and my partner on instantly, but i am far too selfish to share him. equally he wants to be with me, and our fantasy can remain as a fantasy. in the fantasy playground we are in control - we refer to the extra woman as 'fembot' or even 'the girl', purely because she is not a real creature... a simple fantasy. i could never be involved with a real human being like that.
anyhow, that's my ten penneth.
good luck, think it through, talk it through, do what you resolve to be right.
Hxx

 

[suthernhunny]

Many thanks ... again

You folks are fantastic....

i truly appreciate all you advice. these things that i have asked are not exactly "worries". They are questions about a new experience, s omething I have never tried before.


LilPriss, you are correct. There is something missing in my marriage, or I would never have been involved with either the cyberlover or the wizard. I dont know whats missing or how to fix it. Talking to the husband is like talking to a wall. He tells me HOW I am supposed to feel and doesnt understand why I am not like his mother!!!!
F**K that! At midlife, I finally have admitted to being very sexual after trying to deny it most of my life, because "good girls dont"...

Well, this one DOES!

Thanks again to all

 

[lilpriss]

I wish I had the answer for your troubled marraige, because in my opinion, if the marriage was as it should be you could explore fantasies in the safety of a loving marriage.

Unfortunately, there are tons of disillusioned men and women who think that life should be just as it was growing up. They fail to see that each time two people come together those two have to create a homelife that works for THEM becasue both people did come from different sets of parents.

Have you thought of seeing a counselor (not necessarily with your husband, it can be done on your own you know) to figure out if you even want to stay married? And have you admitted to your husband that you are a sex feind??? Or only to your online lover and the wizard? It's amazing how much nicer men are when they are getting regular, high quality blowjobs... Your husband is more than likely aware that there are problems and is choosing to handle it the way HIS father may have handled his mother... sad but true.

As for the extramarital activities, good luck to you.