Suspicious mind of a sub

[Dapperguy]

How do I convince a submissive that my training will not be detrimental to their health and well-being?

For many months I have been texting a submissive lady who has had little experience of submitting to a Master. She is now desperate to participate so long as I can convince her she will not be injured during my training sessions. I have sent here photographs of some of the activities I will experiment with and on her. None are life-threatening or psychologically harmful. Her limbs will remain intact. I have sent her many missives explaining to her I am not in any way dangerous, demented or unstable (I may be a little pervy, but what's wrong with that). She replies with whinging excuses for her reluctance to meet and participate: she's shy, she's ‘not like that’, what would her friends think if they knew what she did to please and submit to me, she does not want to be impregnated and so on. I know I should give up on her but if you saw her you would understand my importunate attitude toward her: she is almost half my age, innocent a holy virgin and handsome as cheese. Money or social status does not come into the equation as I am economically independent.

How would you convince her?
What strategy should I next take to win her favour?
Thank you.

 

[curioustxn]

Really? How would she know you aren't dangerous? She doesn't know you, but she does know the internet is a place where creeps troll for victims. If you are really serious, *and safe as you say you are*, then ask her to meet in a *safe, public* place, and give her time to get to know you!

The internet is not a safe place for women anymore!

 

[RoperTrace]

Really? How would she know you aren't dangerous? She doesn't know you, but she does know the internet is a place where creeps troll for victims. If you are really serious, *and safe as you say you are*, then ask her to meet in a *safe, public* place, and give her time to get to know you!

The internet is not a safe place for women anymore!

This is how it should always be done. If her instincts don't cause her to trust meeting you in a public place, then respect that.

 

[RoperTrace]

Her caution is warranted. It’s not about convincing her of anything. It’s her right to decide what she feels comfortable with.

Safe, public, and with no expectations or pressure for sex from OP.

And fuck off with saying she’s whinging. You’re a creep from the internet until she has proof otherwise.

I think that ship has sailed.

 

[KatieDoes]

How do I convince a submissive that my training will not be detrimental to their health and well-being?

For many months I have been texting a submissive lady who has had little experience of submitting to a Master. She is now desperate to participate so long as I can convince her she will not be injured during my training sessions. I have sent here photographs of some of the activities I will experiment with and on her. None are life-threatening or psychologically harmful. Her limbs will remain intact. I have sent her many missives explaining to her I am not in any way dangerous, demented or unstable (I may be a little pervy, but what's wrong with that). She replies with whinging excuses for her reluctance to meet and participate: she's shy, she's ‘not like that’, what would her friends think if they knew what she did to please and submit to me, she does not want to be impregnated and so on. I know I should give up on her but if you saw her you would understand my importunate attitude toward her: she is almost half my age, innocent a holy virgin and handsome as cheese. Money or social status does not come into the equation as I am economically independent.

How would you convince her?
What strategy should I next take to win her favour?
Thank you.

She doesn’t trust you, Dommy McDomPants.

She shouldn’t trust you. You sound like an idiot.

 

[fire_breeze]

How do I convince a submissive that my training will not be detrimental to their health and well-being?

For many months I have been texting a submissive lady who has had little experience of submitting to a Master. She is now desperate to participate so long as I can convince her she will not be injured during my training sessions. I have sent here photographs of some of the activities I will experiment with and on her. None are life-threatening or psychologically harmful. Her limbs will remain intact. I have sent her many missives explaining to her I am not in any way dangerous, demented or unstable (I may be a little pervy, but what's wrong with that). She replies with whinging excuses for her reluctance to meet and participate: she's shy, she's ‘not like that’, what would her friends think if they knew what she did to please and submit to me, she does not want to be impregnated and so on. I know I should give up on her but if you saw her you would understand my importunate attitude toward her: she is almost half my age, innocent a holy virgin and handsome as cheese. Money or social status does not come into the equation as I am economically independent.

How would you convince her?
What strategy should I next take to win her favour?
Thank you.

If you need to 'convince' to win her favour, then buddy, she's not interested. She's told you many times that she does not want to meet you, and I don't think you are hearing her.

You also said it: that you know you should give up on her. The fact that her looks are driving your 'importunate attitude towards her' is reason enough for her to stay away.

Strategy? Take your advice and let it go.

You’re a creep from the internet until she has proof otherwise.

This

 

[CarlyAnn]

”Her limbs will remain intact.”

Jeffrey Dahmer much!!!!!!

 

[ericalauren]

Consent is vital. Anything except an enthusiastic "yes" is NOT consent. Stop pushing her. Respect her reluctance.

 

[ericalauren]

Really? How would she know you aren't dangerous? She doesn't know you, but she does know the internet is a place where creeps troll for victims. If you are really serious, *and safe as you say you are*, then ask her to meet in a *safe, public* place, and give her time to get to know you!

The internet is not a safe place for women anymore!

The Internet was never safe, IMO. I started using the Internet when I was a tween. The Internet always was, and still is, full of predators.

 

[SissySalina]

You do understand that the first and most important thing in the D/s relationship is TRUST do you not, from what you are saying here Her reluctance is warranted.

 

[Darkweather]

You do understand that the first and most important thing in the D/s relationship is TRUST do you not, from what you are saying here Her reluctance is warranted.

Exactly this. Rule No. 1 is Trust. She doesn't. Move on.

 

[twister947]

She's playing you. Move on.

 

[Dapperguy]

You do understand that the first and most important thing in the D/s relationship is TRUST do you not, from what you are saying here Her reluctance is warranted.

Just to let you know. I met her face-to-face in a Costa Coffee shop. We chatted, shared our likes and dislikes, and worked out our parameters in our sexual interactions. And now we are a loving working couple who feed off each other in an egalitarian manner, where we build trust and show respect for our fears and worries about some new activities, whether they be physical or mechanical. This forum is so helpful. I am a Silly Billy. But, thanks again.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

Exactly this. Rule No. 1 is Trust. She doesn't. Move on.

And if she doesn't trust you...odds are you are the problem. Not her. ("You" being the OP here..)

Human beings spend our entire lives learning how to read facial expressions and body language to make quick decisions about trusting or not trusting someone.

Odds are the OP is giving off a creepy vibe that scares the shit out of this woman.

I get that vibe just reading this guy's posts.

 

[KatieDoes]

That's a lotta progress for one month.

Or he’s lying.
on one post he’s got a ‘sub wife’ on the next he’s got some woman that won’t fuck him but has let him lick so much cheese off her body that he’s worried about the weight gain, and in the next post he’s asking what qualities a dom should have, one one he’s demanding that a woman that placed an ad submit to him as a total stranger, then he’s back here at the coffee shop wondering why his imaginary sub doesn’t trust him.

Him is a Dommy McDompants. The Dommiest Dom to ever Dom.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

, then he’s back here at the coffee shop wondering why his imaginary sub doesn’t trust him.

She's from Canada.... you haven't met her....

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Just to let you know. I met her face-to-face in a Costa Coffee shop. We chatted, shared our likes and dislikes, and worked out our parameters in our sexual interactions. And now we are a loving working couple who feed off each other in an egalitarian manner, where we build trust and show respect for our fears and worries about some new activities, whether they be physical or mechanical. This forum is so helpful. I am a Silly Billy. But, thanks again.

I do not believe one word of what you’ve posted here at Lit. I think you’re trying to put on some show like you’re Christian Fucking Grey, but you don’t know enough to know that series and character are such a bad example of BDSM. Maybe take a step back and read and learn? Or keep doing this, if you want. It’s kind of entertaining.

 

[KatieDoes]

I do not believe one word of what you’ve posted here at Lit. I think you’re trying to put on some show like you’re Christian Fucking Grey, but you don’t know enough to know that series and character are such a bad example of BDSM. Maybe take a step back and read and learn? Or keep doing this, if you want. It’s kind of entertaining.

I might bookmark that fucking cheese thread as a way to guarantee a loss of appetite so I don’t eat too many Christmas cookies this year.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I might bookmark that fucking cheese thread as a way to guarantee a loss of appetite so I don’t eat too many Christmas cookies this year.

Best use of that thread, I’d imagine!

 

[Mnkinkcpl]

I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

I met my current D/s partner through swinging. We got together as couples at least half a dozen times and through conversation learned that we were a D/s match as well.

Her SO is not into that kind of relationship but understands her needs so we have his blessing.

She and I got together another half dozen times just for dinner and conversation. Getting to know what both of us wanted/needed before either of us felt comfortable enough to move forward.

A big part of what she needs is humiliation so we started with that, slowly moving forward to the control and discipline aspect.

Never once in 8 years has she had to use the word RED. I/we have moved way beyond what her limits were 8 years ago and that is due to the complete trust we have built.

Take it for what it is. It takes time and considered action to build trust.

 

[Darkweather]

I do not believe one word of what you’ve posted here at Lit. I think you’re trying to put on some show like you’re Christian Fucking Grey, but you don’t know enough to know that series and character are such a bad example of BDSM. Maybe take a step back and read and learn? Or keep doing this, if you want. It’s kind of entertaining.

Agree with everthing you say here. Ive never seen any of the 50 shades francise, but that Grey guy sounds like a serial abuser with red flags everywhere.

The OPs last post sounded like a face-saving backoff. Who knows? I won't be bringing the popcorn to watch this show though