after consideration...

[justgem]

.

 

[Ebonyfire]

ive been around lit for some time now, when i began to have a thirst to learn more regarding D/s i began participating on the BDSM board here. i was graciously welcomed and thought, good, i have found a forum to learn from, one that will challenge my thinking, one that carries on intelligent conversations and one that i can contribute to. and as a nice side bonus there were times that i found encouragement and a laugh or two.

from time to time i went to the general board, but found the atmosphere there petty and the threads argumentative for the most part. that was fine, i opted simply not to participate there.
this board is not perfect. it has had its share of nasty comments and pettiness as well, but overall what was good about it outweighed that.

why this shocked me i don’t know, but recent events have left me with a very bad taste in my mouth. there was a thread here regarding another board where the moderator Blessed Be threatened suicide. i followed the link posted here to that board and was appalled to see comments such as “go ahead bitch, you’re worthless, do it, the sooner the better.” horrified i posted my opinion of those comments as well as a plea to Blessed Be to not do as she threatened. the posts i just sited have since been removed from that thread.

to my surprise the reaction to my objection of those comments was to “get real” “get over it” “get a grip” that the person who posted had a “right” to do so. oh and by the way…..this is “just a fucking porn site after all” …. hmm so apparently because of the subject matter discussed (sex) the humanity of the people typing is nonexistent not worthy of compassion, apparently because the interaction is through typing its not as real. so its perfectly acceptable and encouraged to let nastiness, rudeness, and insults flow free.

you know, when someone posts that they plan to kill themselves…maybe its just me…..but i tend view it as a desperate cry for help. oops…..but this is just a fucking porn site…sorry i forgot. it really doesn’t matter that that person could be looking for something, for one kind comment from perhaps one particular person….that one comment could make all the difference. or the callous uncaring comment could be the one to tip the scale…how do we know?…what does it really matter…its not like the person is “real” is it?….do real people even visit fucking porn sites?

so whats the big deal gem? yes that’s horrible, but it wasn’t “us”… this happened on a totally different board. yep…and many people from this board went over there to post. not everyone from this particular board who posted were unfeeling, callous, and nasty….but there were enough from here who did. which caused me do some thinking.

do I ignore it and just carry on here as usual? do I post back and forth with people who think nothing of the person who is typing on the other end. to whom a death threat is a joke, something to be mocked, who have so little regard for others?….and for what?….

you know I have always been taught and have taught my children as well to treat others the way you want to be treated. to be courteous. i treat people on here the same as i would in my day to day life….with respect and kindness. yes there are times i don’t agree and state my opinion, but i dont deliberately tear another down just to make myself feel better. do people who do that really have such a low self image that they feel they must behave in such a way? but again….i forget, this is just a porn site, and because that’s all it is you and i are not really human and it shouldn’t affect us.

i guess im hopelessly old fashioned. so i have opted to not be party to it any longer. it’s a shame really cause there are people here whom i have enjoyed interacting with and i have enjoyed tossing ideas back and forth with, ive enjoyed learning, and hope things i have shared may have aided someone at some point as well. to me it didn’t seem like just a fucking porn site….but that’s just me. there are a few people here who may wish to continue conversations with me so i will come back at the end of the week to gather any private messages left for me and erase this post.

in the mean time i have requested my stories and poems removed and am in process of erasing all my previous posts. what i have had to say in the past apparently did nothing to illustrate the type of person i am, as there are those on this forum who don’t view me, the person typing, as real anyway, therefore respect is not necessary regardless of how i have afforded respect to them. so there’s really no point in leaving any of them here.

i participate on a different site where all the people there treat each other with respect even when they disagree. and that is really more my style. if you recognize yourself as one who could fit into the synopsis i have posted you have 2 choices. look in the mirror…or post an insult about what a crybaby i am… if you do the latter i hope it makes you feel better about yourself.

my humblest apologies to those who this does not address.

gem

It is your choice to go and it is your choice to stay.

Adults make their own decisions. Too bad the world does not spin to your liking. Good luck to you. I hope you like what you see in the mirror.


Eb

 

[MissTaken]

I would suggest that teh thread in question is not a good example of what lit can be.

However, true enough, that to some it is just a "porn site" and the people here are just text on a screen.

We weed through all of the rocks and find the gemstones.

As with any community, there will be those that piss you off, are inconsiderate and heartless, are condescending, bitchy, nasty, rude, vulgar and the whole list of negatives.

Then, the majority of litsters are not those things. They are intelligent, considerate and kind. As with any community, it's strenght lies in the bonds that are created adn shared by it's members. The members of substance who adhere to their values and have integrity are what keeps lit rolling, not neccesarily the shit stirrers.

But that is just my opinion and I am sure some would disagree.

One of the oddities of lit is that the kind and gentle people just don't get heard as often as the few jerks.

*shrugs shoulders*

In any event, you do what you feel is necessary, but for me, whenever I find myself upset or pissed off by something here, I take a "lit break."

Take care, hon

 

[A Desert Rose]

Lit is a microcosim of real life. There are people who are warm and gentle and others who are not.

Just like in real life, one picks ones friends and one chooses to leave the cocktail party when the craziness is more than one wants to deal with.

 

[Lancecastor]

I have intervened in 2 suicides in real life...it's hard stuff to deal with, especially when they are people you care about.

I don't know if BB has done so or not. I hope not. But if she has, Lit won't close, no more than my life stopped with a car wreck in my community yesterday.

Sometimes people pretend online for various reaons.

Balancing reality & fantasy in a place like Lit can be confusing.

You sound upset by much of what you've heard around the subject.

I hope you choose to stay.

Lance

 

[NemoAlia]

We'll miss you, justgem. Your real-life experience and your forthright willingness to share your thoughts and wonderings have brought a depth and beauty to this board that we will miss when you're gone.

I, for one, hope that you reconsider. Maybe if you just dabble your toes in the lit waters while you launder your swimsuit, you'll be ready to jump back in again some time.

Of course, if you decide that a clean, end-it-all break is your best option, then it's our loss. You will be missed.

 

[Angelofsex]

There has been alot of kidding about death....once even with a dear friend of mine, that has since then came true........Death is so final.Do they do a thread and talk about their death and kid, no they don't...They do it about a life that may need alot of help.

We have made good friends here, that we might never have met anyplace else. To me that is the important part, that we care about alot. Peope who make fun of the death or the living are to me very lonely.....They have nothing to do, no life.

To pick on a life, I do not understand....To get to know the person to me in much better. If they need to cry, you will with them, .....if they need to laugh, you will laugh with them.....if they need food, you will feed them, if they need to talk, you will listen......this is a friend......and maybe the person who needed it, looked around and no one was there.......because the one to help was to busy knocking someone else down.

Life to me is to important.....and to pick on one...no that is not me.......but friendship is, that is a gift.

If you must leave, leave for a good reason.....not someone that thinks with no heart.........for like Miss T has said there are gemstones among us.....and to lose one is ashame.

 

[Sex & Diamonds]

gem

first of all.....*huggggggsssss* for ya


I hope you stay. Don't let the ramblings of some ignorant people run you off. No matter where you go they will be there. I'm not going to read that thread in question because I don't care what other's have to say when it's just garbage.

That thread to me said that there is a woman out there that needs a friend or perhaps two or three. Those that posted negative things on there should have their mouths and minds washed with soap. Yes, I know it's a porn site *gasp* but we are all still people with feelings. I'm just someone sitting here typing idle words on my keyboard, so what the hell do I know?

There are some that just can't grasp the consept of these boards of being some type of home for people. Where friendships are made and maintained. They take it as all some sort of joke or a place to vent their anger or hell I don't know. Please....gem, don't go.