Affirmative consent and rape

[zipman]

Recently the subject of consent in sexual relations has been receiving a lot of attention. In particular, in the state of California they are attempting to reduce the number of rapes on college campuses by requiring affirmative consent.

So what do you think. Is affirmative consent required throughout a sexual encounter or is the absence of protest enough to constitute consent?

Poll coming

 

[lovetoread]

Only a yes is a yes.

 

[duranman]

Yawn..

 

[zipman]

Only a yes is a yes.

So then throughout a sexual encounter, you would expect a man to ask at each progressive stage whether that was okay for you?

For example:
May I kiss you?
May I touch your breasts?
May I touch your ass?
May I put a finger inside you?
May I put my penis inside you?

 

[QueenLevitra]

NO!! never means yes.

 

[zipman]

NO!! never means yes.

Try reading the question again.

 

[lovetoread]

So then throughout a sexual encounter, you would expect a man to ask at each progressive stage whether that was okay for you?

For example:
May I kiss you?
May I touch your breasts?
May I touch your ass?
May I put a finger inside you?
May I put my penis inside you?

One should have that conversation before sex.

Considering what I am into, you have to talk it out before you get into the moment.

If you cant talk about it, you are in no way ready to have sex.

 

[zipman]

One should have that conversation before sex.

Considering what I am into, you have to talk it out before you get into the moment.

If you cant talk about it, you are in no way ready to have sex.

We're not talking about a D/s encounter here. Just plain old vanilla sex.

 

[QueenLevitra]

Try reading the question again.

NO!!!!!

 

[lovecraft68]

Only a yes is a yes.

Well said.

You would think an actual verbal yes would be required for anyone to think sex is okay.

But....again, one would simply like to think that.

 

[Monica_112]

Let's fuck...yes

Works doesn't it?

 

[Ishmael]

So then throughout a sexual encounter, you would expect a man to ask at each progressive stage whether that was okay for you?

For example:
May I kiss you?
May I touch your breasts?
May I touch your ass?
May I put a finger inside you?
May I put my penis inside you?

Taken to the point of the absurd both parties would have attorneys present.

How many of those campus rapes were actually adjudged to be rape by a court of law? I think we can all agree on exactly what forcible rape is, no real gray area there. Or cases where the victim was rendered insensible (date rape drugs) and taken advantage of. The gray areas are instances where the 'victim' rendered themselves insensible, or where the 'victim' had a case of morning after remorse.

And do we all really want a file cabinet full of documents that are an audit trail of every sexual encounter we've ever had?

The entire proposal is taking human relations to the point of the absurd.

Ishmael

 

[CandiCame]

So then throughout a sexual encounter, you would expect a man to ask at each progressive stage whether that was okay for you?

For example:
May I kiss you?
May I touch your breasts?
May I touch your ass?
May I put a finger inside you?
May I put my penis inside you?

Yeah? Like exactly that. But in a breathy, seductive voice. And possibly not in that order. And with even more questions. Because I notice that there's nothing in there about eating out, and that's just ridiculous. By the time you get to the last question the "yes" should be in the form of a scream.

 

[lovetoread]

Yeah? Like exactly that. But in a breathy, seductive voice. And possibly not in that order. And with even more questions. Because I notice that there's nothing in there about eating out, and that's just ridiculous. By the time you get to the last question the "yes" should be in the form of a scream.

There is nothing hotter, dude.

 

[CandiCame]

We're not talking about a D/s encounter here. Just plain old vanilla sex.

My brain blurs those. If I don't go into subspace my cock gets confused.

 

[CandiCame]

There is nothing hotter, dude.

Yeah, and I expect a running commentary in the form of "yes, yes, right there, YES!"

"harder"
"better"
"faster"
"stronger"

Or at the very least a firm grip and a breathy "Good boy".

What kind of weird ass silent sex are you people having where this seems like a 'ridiculous extreme'? Fucking like mimes over here.

 

[Que]

Taken to the point of the absurd both parties would have attorneys present.

How many of those campus rapes were actually adjudged to be rape by a court of law? I think we can all agree on exactly what forcible rape is, no real gray area there. Or cases where the victim was rendered insensible (date rape drugs) and taken advantage of. The gray areas are instances where the 'victim' rendered themselves insensible, or where the 'victim' had a case of morning after remorse.

And do we all really want a file cabinet full of documents that are an audit trail of every sexual encounter we've ever had?

The entire proposal is taking human relations to the point of the absurd.

Ishmael

I could see (perhaps) holding a student to a slightly higher stander, ie Even if not convicted in a court of law the preponderance of evidence might well suggest that the university might want you off campus. Some have honor codes that even consensual sex is verboten.

But to your point. If no complaint is ever filed in the legal system there is nothing to talk about labeled "rape". Period.

Rape victims do not try to get a guy kicked out of school, but shirk from having the guy jailed, if appropriate.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

The poll needs a "The absence of no may be a yes" option, so I can't vote.

 

[CandiCame]

Also, if I'm the one being seduced, I like it in the form of a statement that I can agree or disagree with, because that's just how I roll. Like I like it when it's clear and instructive.

"When we get to the house I'm gonna bend you over the couch and fuck you until you can't walk"

"You need to get in here right now and give me a good, deep dicking."

"You're gonna go down on me so long you grow gills"

 

[Que]

The poll needs a "The absence of no may be a yes" option, so I can't vote.

As an apparently fairly confidant woman who is comfortable with her sexual wants, I am curious if some of the tenants of game are less evident in someone like you.

What I mean is I wonder if you still feel some version of ASD as an artifact of either societal programming or biological screening?

Aside from that question, is it sexy for you when a guy assumes the sale, with accurate reading of your non-verbal assent?

As a dude, I exercise restraint sometimes and choose not to close but that for me is based more on does this girl seem to be into me enough that it will be a stellar playdate or simple a go-along one. As far as I can tell I experience nothing like ASD. The choir in my head is all singing, get it, get it now.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

As an apparently fairly confidant woman who is comfortable with her sexual wants, I am curious if some of the tenants of game are less evident in someone like you.

What I mean is I wonder if you still feel some version of ASD as an artifact of either societal programming or biological screening?

What does ASD mean?

Aside from that question, is it sexy for you when a guy assumes the sale, with accurate reading of your non-verbal assent?

Absolutely. In fact, asking "May I kiss you?" is a total turn off to me. Just doing it is hot. "I am going home with you so I can fuck you tonight" is hot. (happened a few months ago, someone I have known casually for a couple of years and never thought about fucking. Oh it worked.)

As a dude, I exercise restraint sometimes and choose not to close but that for me is based more on does this girl seem to be into me enough that it will be a stellar playdate or simple a go-along one. As far as I can tell I experience nothing like ASD. The choir in my head is all singing, get it, get it now.

I would assume most confident men are like this, but of course I still don't know waht ASD means.

 

[RobDownSouth]

So then throughout a sexual encounter, you would expect a man to ask at each progressive stage whether that was okay for you?

For example:
May I kiss you?
May I touch your breasts?
May I touch your ass?
May I put a finger inside you?
May I put my penis inside you?

On a hot summer night...
Would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?

 

[Que]

What does ASD mean?



Absolutely. In fact, asking "May I kiss you?" is a total turn off to me. Just doing it is hot. "I am going home with you so I can fuck you tonight" is hot. (happened a few months ago, someone I have known casually for a couple of years and never thought about fucking. Oh it worked.)



I would assume most confident men are like this, but of course I still don't know waht ASD means.

Sorry. Anti-slut defense.

That token resistance that (often) occurs at the point of sale. Where either assurances are needed that, no, it isn't "too soon" or "I'll respect us in the morning" or whatever.

I have encountered it from time to time in lesser and greater ways. Because of my repressed upbringing, I am all too familiar with hesitations about casual sex, so I usually just wind it down and back out if it happens where sex is possible, rather than continue to close. I have noticed that I get it far more often in nice hotel rooms as opposed to cheap ones.

 

[Liar]

Taken to the point of the absurd both parties would have attorneys present.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f--u_puzhGs

 

[dolf]

a guy pulling back, looking you in the eye, cupping your cheek and saying, between kisses, ''are you sure you want to do this?'', is hot. so there.