Affection

[AvaAdore]

This is mostly directed to subs.

Do you find being flogged and otherwise tortured affectionate?

In relation to mouthfucking, osg said "having a man use my mouth and throat that way just makes me feel so beautiful, so delicate, so feminine, so desired."

That's how I feel too.

Getting whipped, mouthfucked, fucked in the ass when I don't want it and when I do. Things that make me uncomfortable. Having such things done to me feels like I am receiving affection (in some twisted way or other ) and I always feel very much appreciated and most definately desired.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[dolf]

lol cutie, you're nuts
{na, i totally get that. not with mouth fucking but with rough sex}
xx

 

[catalina_francisco]

Difficult one to answer.....I don't think I equate the acts with affection unless it is from my Master, and even then it is not always a sign of affection, more so sadistic need and exercising his right to use me as he wishes, when he wishes. That being said, it is partly because of our love and like needs I don't feel traumatised or abused in the real sense of the word, and also the fact I get off on being used and being given pain sometimes beyond what I can say is enjoyable that makes it work for us. That love does not mean I can predict what he will do, nor that he will always limit it to things which do not permanently damage or mark my body...that is part of what I love about him.

Catalina

 

[Kajira Callista]

This is mostly directed to subs.

Do you find being flogged and otherwise tortured affectionate?

In relation to mouthfucking, osg said "having a man use my mouth and throat that way just makes me feel so beautiful, so delicate, so feminine, so desired."

That's how I feel too.

Getting whipped, mouthfucked, fucked in the ass when I don't want it and when I do. Things that make me uncomfortable. Having such things done to me feels like I am receiving affection (in some twisted way or other ) and I always feel very much appreciated and most definately desired.

I feel the same....what is romance to me is horror to most

 

[Sweet_Tee]

I agree, I like it when he pushes my limits. Using me for his pleasure turns me on so much and makes me feel wanted and cared for. I like pleasing him by submitting to his desires. Guess that is why I am his sub.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The question is still rumbling my brain cells....if it is felt as affection so to speak, more so than as I see it as acceptable and welcomed because of our love and shared needs, does that mean a demonstration of affection is how you feel it no matter who delivers the act? Isn't that confusing the emotion with the act?

Catalina

 

[dolf]

The question is still rumbling my brain cells....if it is felt as affection so to speak, more so than as I see it as acceptable and welcomed because of our love and shared needs, does that mean a demonstration of affection is how you feel it no matter who delivers the act? That to me seems to be confusing the emotion with the act.

the same can be said of a hug, kiss or sex! if the wrong person kisses me it's not affection, it's assault.
xx

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Netzach]

I have a very valued pet I've gotten sexual with recently, who told me while we were screwing "I'm thinking about you punching me, kicking my ass, wiping the floor with me...
and later, when you're punching me, kicking my ass, totally abusing me, I'll be thinking about fucking you."

That was probably one of the hottest things anyone's ever whispered to me in bed.

 

[Shadowsdream]

I have a new male toy that views everything I do to him as affection. I watch his body language during warm ups and notice how he copes with what he is expecting to come. But it is when he is taken past the warm up and into the pain that he does not crave that his language becomes powerful to Me. The jerks and spasms that tell Me he is so in tune with what he feels both physically and emotionally. The way this large muscular man needs My physical support to travel 4 feet from the cross to a chair with glazed eyes full of passion confirms his belief in My affection. With this particular toy...it is affection that drives Me to take him where it would not be his first choice to travel.

 

[A Desert Rose]

...it is affection that drives Me to take him where it would not be his first choice to travel.

I think this is what any sub would want to hear. And it's a good example of where the "exchanges" between a Dom/me and a sub take place. It's affection He feels when He pushes my limits and it's affection I feel when I feed and accept His sexual/sadistic desires.

I don't think He would feel as comfortable and free to express the needs He has, were it not that He felt some form of affection for me. And conversely, I could not accept this from just ANYone, either.

 

[catalina_francisco]

I think this is what any sub would want to hear. And it's a good example of where the "exchanges" between a Dom/me and a sub take place. It's affection He feels when He pushes my limits and it's affection I feel when I feed and accept His sexual/sadistic desires.

I don't think He would feel as comfortable and free to express the needs He has, were it not that He felt some form of affection for me. And conversely, I could not accept this from just ANYone, either.

You said it better than I managed ....thanks.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

You know Catalina, like a few other subs here, I have a hard time talking about this kind of thing in all flowery prose. I'm past the "rose colored glasses" stuff. And I'm pragmatic, by nature.

So, that being said... I think there is a beauty in this kind of exchange of affection that few people really get to experience and that fewer people realize IS affection and not some sort of misunderstood violence.

If one understands the need to feel these things and one understands the need of the Dom/me to express them, THAT to me is where the affection begins.

 

[Kajira Callista]

You know Catalina, like a few other subs here, I have a hard time talking about this kind of thing in all flowery prose. I'm past the "rose colored glasses" stuff. And I'm pragmatic, by nature.

So, that being said... I think there is a beauty in this kind of exchange of affection that few people really get to experience and that fewer people realize IS affection and not some sort of misunderstood violence.

If one understands the need to feel these things and one understands the need of the Dom/me to express them, THAT to me is where the affection begins.

beautiful

 

[catalina_francisco]

You know Catalina, like a few other subs here, I have a hard time talking about this kind of thing in all flowery prose. I'm past the "rose colored glasses" stuff. And I'm pragmatic, by nature.

So, that being said... I think there is a beauty in this kind of exchange of affection that few people really get to experience and that fewer people realize IS affection and not some sort of misunderstood violence.

If one understands the need to feel these things and one understands the need of the Dom/me to express them, THAT to me is where the affection begins.

LOL, well as you know I have often been told here I should flower up my language more instead of my usual directness, but I can't be who I am not. I have no problem seeing it as a way of demonstrating trust and affection in a relationship, but I don't usually see it as where the affection begins, more so being a result of existing affection and trust. As is often said here, there has to be more to keep a relationship going than just one facet such as pain. And as many already know our own relationship is considered by most to be in the extreme where SM is concerned, but is also who we are and a part of how we love.

I was concerned with the original posting which did not mention anything about it being between 2 people who are already in a relationship and as such have strong feelings about promoting the idea, though I realise it was likely not the intention, that any man or woman who beats or flogs a sub is showing affection toward them. The use of osg's quote didn't do anything to demonstrate it was in a relationship as she says she feels that way when men use her, not just her Daddy. Maybe it was just the moment I read it and where my head was at, but I felt it was open to misinterpretation by those who as you say, do not understand or have experienced D/s as yet but are looking to.

Catalina

 

[A Desert Rose]

LOL, well as you know I have often been told here I should flower up my language more instead of my usual directness, but I can't be who I am not. I have no problem seeing it as a way of demonstrating trust and affection in a relationship, but I don't usually see it as where the affection begins, more so being a result of existing affection and trust. As is often said here, there has to be more to keep a relationship going than just one facet such as pain. And as many already know our own relationship is considered by most to be in the extreme where SM is concerned, but is also who we are and a part of how we love.

I was concerned with the original posting which did not mention anything about it being between 2 people who are already in a relationship and as such have strong feelings about promoting the idea, though I realise it was likely not the intention, that any man or woman who beats or flogs a sub is showing affection toward them. The use of osg's quote didn't do anything to demonstrate it was in a relationship as she says she feels that way when men use her, not just her Daddy. Maybe it was just the moment I read it and where my head was at, but I felt it was open to misinterpretation by those who as you say, do not understand or have experienced D/s as yet but are looking to.

Catalina

Yes, I agree with you. Well said.

And you're right when you point out that it's not actually where the affection begins. Thinking more now, I think it is where the affection manifests itself in the most intense fashion.

Yea, I think that is more appropriate.

 

[incubus'_sub]

Very well written, both of you.

For me, the real affection began not with the acts themselves but with the realisation that I was not being condemned for wanting them. For the first time my desires and needs were appreciated, welcomed and matched in intensity. What we do in physical terms is less important than the acceptance, finally, of the whole of me.

 

[rosco rathbone]

This thread gave me the butterflies.

 

[Desdemona]

You know Catalina, like a few other subs here, I have a hard time talking about this kind of thing in all flowery prose. I'm past the "rose colored glasses" stuff. And I'm pragmatic, by nature.

So, that being said... I think there is a beauty in this kind of exchange of affection that few people really get to experience and that fewer people realize IS affection and not some sort of misunderstood violence.

If one understands the need to feel these things and one understands the need of the Dom/me to express them, THAT to me is where the affection begins.

I couldn't have said it better. I like a good dose of reality based posting from time to time.

 

[RJMasters]

bullseye

I think there is a beauty in this kind of exchange of affection that few people really get to experience and that fewer people realize IS affection and not some sort of misunderstood violence.

If one understands the need to feel these things and one understands the need of the Dom/me to express them, THAT to me is where the affection begins.

Couldn't be said in any other way, to be anymore true.

Well said

{{{my mind heads out for a cigarette}}}

 

[TySlut26]

Hmm... maybe that's my problem. I'm a very new and very young (18) submissive that's having some trouble adjusting to my role and I just realized it's probably because I haven't learned to associate all the pain and humiliation and the way he uses me with affection. Do Doms usually mean for that to be affectionate? But even if it is, it just can't match the way I feel when my Dom strokes my hair or kisses me on the forehead. I wonder how I'd feel if he pet me with one hand and hurt me with the other...

Well, as of now I only associate pain and degradation with his ownership of me so I'm gonna work on that.

 

[MissTaken]

scooter and I were discussing something tonight that almost fits in with this thread.

Many times when I am flogging him, slapping him, *insert activity*, it feels to him that I am caressing him. Those touches, no matter how harsh are percieved by him to be the tender touches of his lover.

Many times, I feel as though I am administering tender touches. In particular, when I slap his face, there is an emotional connection that is evident between us, we both feel it and it intensifies with how much energy I use.

I look forward to reading more on this thread as much of what we are experiencing together is fairly new and we continue to explore how D/s plays out with the psyche.

 

[AvaAdore]

Hmm... maybe that's my problem. I'm a very new and very young (18) submissive that's having some trouble adjusting to my role and I just realized it's probably because I haven't learned to associate all the pain and humiliation and the way he uses me with affection. Do Doms usually mean for that to be affectionate? But even if it is, it just can't match the way I feel when my Dom strokes my hair or kisses me on the forehead. I wonder how I'd feel if he pet me with one hand and hurt me with the other...

Well, as of now I only associate pain and degradation with his ownership of me so I'm gonna work on that.

What feels like affection to one person may not feel like affection to another. Don't try to force your feelings into a mold of what you think they should be. Instead, clear your mind of what you think you're supposed to feel, and just lay back and experience it. Over time you will come to realize what the physical actions mean to you emotionally.

My boyfriend gets his kicks from making me feel uncomfortable and physically causing pain. Whether that feels affectionate to him, i don't know.

 

[AvaAdore]

LOL, well as you know I have often been told here I should flower up my language more instead of my usual directness, but I can't be who I am not. I have no problem seeing it as a way of demonstrating trust and affection in a relationship, but I don't usually see it as where the affection begins, more so being a result of existing affection and trust. As is often said here, there has to be more to keep a relationship going than just one facet such as pain. And as many already know our own relationship is considered by most to be in the extreme where SM is concerned, but is also who we are and a part of how we love.

I was concerned with the original posting which did not mention anything about it being between 2 people who are already in a relationship and as such have strong feelings about promoting the idea, though I realise it was likely not the intention, that any man or woman who beats or flogs a sub is showing affection toward them. The use of osg's quote didn't do anything to demonstrate it was in a relationship as she says she feels that way when men use her, not just her Daddy. Maybe it was just the moment I read it and where my head was at, but I felt it was open to misinterpretation by those who as you say, do not understand or have experienced D/s as yet but are looking to.

osg didn't directly say that she found mouthfucking affectionate. her description is what i would interpret as affection (except for the feminine bit). Of course, it all depends on context. I have only had it done within a loving relationship, so that's all i can speak of. her relationship with her Daddy is quite different from mine with my boyfriends.


Catalina

<-- your language is being flowered up already!
(i have never had any problems with it)