afairs with married men?

[deprived69]

I have a ? for the ladies, what are your thoughts on having an afair with a married man,would you ever have an afair with a married man and if not would there be anything that would make you concider an afair with a married man?

 

[Jezebelle1458]

as long as its not something he does on a regular basis(ie:with anyone /everyone that he can)i prefer them married.they are less likely to be trouble and i dont have to deal with their B.S. i've been on the wifey end too ladies so dont get pissed off about it. they get what they need,i get what i want and send him home. i know this will piss a lot of wives off,but ladies,at least i am selective,and have no intentions of taking him from you.i dont need his money(and have never asked for it),i make my own way in this world. like i said,i get what i want and hopefully he goes home less stressed and then can take care of his husbandly duties like he should. i dont give him false hopes and make sure he knows what i expectof him.....to get out when i'm done with him. i know i'm going to catch hell from this answer,but,hey,wont be the first time and am sure it wont be the last.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Yes - you will catch hell for that answer - but maybe not so bad on this board as the GB. And I must say its nice to hear someone else speak their mind without fear of repercussions. I have had a married lover for 4 years and I've got to say its the best relationship I've ever had with a man. There's no bullshit, no lying, no pretending. I don't want his $$$ or his ring. Just a little of his time and lots of great sex. I didn't break up his marriage - he had other before me and will have others after me. His wife 'knows' but we are all very careful of eachother's feelings and I stay out of the way of his homelife.

I'm a very strong willed, independant type woman. Not many men are willing to put up with that for very long. So this works best for me. I certainly wouldn't suggest it for everyone as I can see how there would be lots of pain if you didn't go in with your eyes wide open.

 

[Jezebelle1458]

thank you Crazy. nice to see another strong willed woman out there.and one who's not afraid to admit it!

 

[sheath]

*deep breath*

I've been with more than one married man.

The only one I regret is the one who didn't tell me he was married from the beginning...he lied about it, made a big deal of how 'single and available' he was, let me get involved too deeply, then dropped the bombshell of a wedding band.

In every other situation, I have gone into the relationship (affair?) with eyes wide open, knowing what I was doing. Some might write me off as being a horrible person for that simple fact, but each one of those men brought something wonderful into my life, and they claim I brought something wonderful to them as well.

My advice...think long and hard before you get involved with anyone who is married. It is a dangerous game for your heart to play...for everyone involved.

S.

 

[Missingmeds]

Make that three of us....I have often caught hell for admitting to preferring married men, but you both have stated all my reasons as to why I do.

 

[jaded_lily]

just not my thing, got me into more trouble than it was worth.

 

[Jezebelle1458]

sheath,anyone who thinks you are a horrible person is someone you dont need to waste any time or thoughts on. if messing with married men is something anyone is considering,you had better have your eyes wide open and your head on straight,so to speak. KEEP YOUR HEART OUT OF IT! after all,you have got to remember that they are married,and their wives probably dont need any more grief from their hubbies. easier said than done,i know.

 

[flyindolphine]

i would nevr have an affair with a married man. I dont like to be second and i dont like to share men. Also i think it is wrong to go behind someones back, latter on you will regret it. atleast i know i would. And if a men goes behind his wifes back who knows maby he will do it behind mine also..

 

[Mrs Peel]

I've had three married men in my life, plus one who, while not technically married, had been living with a woman for 20+ years (yes, they had kids).

So, let's just call it four.

Three of them were fairly short-lived, mostly because I was unable to see them (aka - they couldn't get away to spend time with me) as much as I would have liked. They were also pretty "clean", in that it was clear from the start that they weren't leaving their wives, and I wasn't interested in breaking up their marriages. So, no real pain. But not enough hot sex, either.

I have no regrets about them, and am still friendly with 2 of the 3 (lost track of the third).

The fourth, well, that was a bit of a mess. Brief version: He was clearly in a miserable marriage, and I did all I could not to fall in love with him, but I eventually did. When that happened, it got too painful and I ended it. But that was pain I wouldn't wish on anyone (well, maybe Sheath's neighbor, Debbie...nah, maybe not even her).

On the bright side, having not spoken to him in several years, it seems he's finally left his wife. We're planning to get together to see if the connection still exists between us.

 

[sheath]

i would nevr have an affair with a married man. I dont like to be second and i dont like to share men. Also i think it is wrong to go behind someones back, latter on you will regret it. atleast i know i would. And if a men goes behind his wifes back who knows maby he will do it behind mine also..

You just hit on the two things that were so difficult for me...

Sharing. Knowing that he was going home to sleep beside her in their bed...and knowing I was the one left at home in an empty bed, with far too much time to think. And knowing it was nobody's choice but MINE to live that way. That is very hard on a woman's heart, believe me.

And secondly...the question of whether or not I could ever have a 'real' relationship with them, if the marriage did someday end. How could I know he wouldn't cheat on me as well? I could always say it all boiled down to communication and that I would be a better communicator than his wife was...so maybe things would be different...but in the end, there was always a little bit of distrust there. I just couldn't shake it.

Like I said before...dangerous game, no doubt.

S.

 

[Ms_Lilith]

I have been with one married man... married, but living separately from his wife, and in the middle of a separation.

I have to say that, while he was one of my better lovers, it weirded me out that his daughter was only 4 years younger than I was at the time (I was 19, she was 15). HIS age didn't bug me, rather I liked that he was an older man with more experience (which is what made him SO wonderful in bed), but that his kids were close to my age made me feel very young.

While he and I are still friends, 3 years later, I would never be with him again (having found my partner), and if my partner and I were ever to break up, I'd never be with a married man again, either. It's not that I necessarily think it's wrong, but it is wrong for ME. I am not interested in sharing someone, unless I also get to play with the person I'm sharing him or her with.

 

[Jezebelle1458]

of course!if he cheated on his wife with you,he would cheat on you,too! KEEP YOUR HEART OUT OF IT! that is what i mean by having your eyes wide open. when love gets involved in the relationships,people start to think that the grass is greener,yadda,yadda,yadda. that is where so many marriages fail.someone wants something that is not theirs.ladies,if your messing with a married man,please remember at all times that he is a married man...AND GIVE HIM BACK IN BETER SHAPE THAN YOU GOT HIM IN! BUT GIVE HIM BACK! always remember that there is a wife waiting(no matter what kind of wife he says they are).and figure he's not telling you the whole story either.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

Now see - the things Sheath hated about married men is what I love about them. I am not wired to be 'a couple' in the traditional sense of the word. I get all frightened and claustrophobic and unsure of myself around single men. I have big problems with where our boundaries lie. But with married men - its so easy. You know exactly where he stands.

He spends the night almost once a week - more in the summer when we're boating. But I'd even rather sleep alone most of the time. I like being alone! I'm a bit of a hermit that way.

 

[deprived69]

thanks to all the ladies who have responded so far it gives me something to think about. and hats off to all you ladies that have responded, it takes courage and i admire you for that.

 

[deprived69]

oh yeah! if anyone of you ladies have a story about an affair you have had or if you would like to get to know this married man a little better pm me or e-mail me

 

[Jezebelle1458]

nope,nope..not going to tell. go ahead,twist my arm,pull my hair,throw me down and sit on me,put hot wax on my tits,ram your hard cock up my ass,......oh..sorry,got carried away.

 

[crazybbwgirl]

nope,nope..not going to tell. go ahead,twist my arm,pull my hair,throw me down and sit on me,put hot wax on my tits,ram your hard cock up my ass,......oh..sorry,got carried away.

and after all that maybe he could start torturing you! lol

 

[deprived69]

well........mmmm....if you insist hahahah

 

[seekingjoy]

i know this will piss a lot of wives off,but ladies,at least i am selective,and have no intentions of taking him from you.i dont need his money(and have never asked for it),i make my own way in this world. like i said,i get what i want and hopefully he goes home less stressed and then can take care of his husbandly duties like he should. i dont give him false hopes and make sure he knows what i expectof him.....to get out when i'm done with him. i know i'm going to catch hell from this answer,but,hey,wont be the first time and am sure it wont be the last.

As I use the word "you", I mean "you" in the general sense not you specifically:

First, if I find out my husband has had sex with you, my marriage is over. You haven't "taken" him from he. He left me. I know there are many, many marriages where this would not be the case. But our agreement is that he will not lie or cheat on me. So, if he does, I have to assume all other bets are off.

Second, I also work and make my own way. I am not with my man for his money. If you were only taking his money, you'd be welcome to it. But you are taking is affection. It's the only thing of his I think of as only mine.

But yet I have absolutely no issue with you. You are living your life according to your values and expectations. I have never understood women who find out their husbands are cheating on them and get mad at the other woman. It would be him who was cheating on me, not you. And, chances are, if I found out it would not be the first time he'd done it.

And now to you specifically:

And I have to agree that as long as you are comfortable with any husband you have now or in the future taking that same step, then this is the right decision for you. That's precisily why I've never been with a married man. I can't ask it of any husband of mine if I've not lived by the same expectation.

You seem very up front with what you want and how you will get it. So don't kid yourself into thinking that by not wanting to take him from his wife and/or family you are not taking something that's not yours. You are.

 

[warrior queen]

So don't kid yourself into thinking that by not wanting to take him from his wife and/or family you are not taking something that's not yours. You are.

no.
we're not 'taking' something that's not ours.

HE'S giving it to someone else.

don't kid yourself into thinking that any of these situations are as simple, or as black and white, as you seem to think.

the men who cheat are just as - if not more - responsible for any affairs that might be happening as the women they're having affairs with.
and believe it or not, if your husband were cheating - i'd also have to apportion at least some of the blame for that happening... to YOU.

it takes two people to make a successful, faithful marriage...
and it takes TWO people for that same marriage to fracture to the point where one or the other has an affair.

 

[tythisredheadup]

nope,nope..not going to tell. go ahead,twist my arm,pull my hair,throw me down and sit on me,put hot wax on my tits,ram your hard cock up my ass,......oh..sorry,got carried away.

Ahh, memories of last night...

Just kidding, I wish... Where were we?

Oh yes, married men. I, being married, would rather have a married man. He has just as much to lose as I do, so he tends to be more cautious. He doesn't call me all the time and continually blow smoke up my ass. All he wants to do is fuck, which is what I want to do, and, Hey, isn't that what it's all about?

 

[Amaterasu]

I'm currently seeing a married man.

I often ask myself why I don't feel more guilty about it - is it a lack of moral character, or simply the fact that I'm not the one cheating? I've met the wife, she knows he and I are friends, and when he comes over to hang out, he tells her where he is going. She's even cooked me dinner on occasion. I even *like* her. Of course, its way too awkward for us to be friends, but I am perfectly civil, respectful, and even friendly to her when we speak. In fact, he called me the other night, and she asked to talk to me, just to see what I've been up to! And I still don't feel bad about it!

I, too, like the freedom of having a "married boyfriend". I don't have to clean up after him, hold his hand when he is upset, boost his ego, etc. I don't have to be the wife. I can be with whomever I choose, because he is with her and doesn't tell me what I can and can't do. We have a mutual understanding that I have no interest in breaking up his marriage, and there is nothing he could do to me that would make me tell his wife about us. I simply enjoy his company for sex, and if it ended tomorrow, that would be fine, we would go on our merry ways.

I think if I were to get married, I would have to have an open marriage.... not for me, because if I found someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I would want to be only with that man, but for him, because I know he would cheat. I have yet to meet a married man that hasn't. And I know few married women that haven't.

My current man had been married less than a month when he met me. You never know who is going to come into your life, and timing isn't always perfect. Had we met 6 months earlier, he may not have gotten married (says he). But, had we met 6 months earlier, I think I would have been less likely to become involved with him.

 

[NeoM_25]

He doesn't call me all the time and continually blow smoke up my ass. All he wants to do is fuck, which is what I want to do, and, Hey, isn't that what it's all about?

Have met a few married women who have done their share of smoke-blowing.....

(But they usually know how to do much more interesting things as well.)

 

[seekingjoy]

no.
we're not 'taking' something that's not ours.

HE'S giving it to someone else.

don't kid yourself into thinking that any of these situations are as simple, or as black and white, as you seem to think.

the men who cheat are just as - if not more - responsible for any affairs that might be happening as the women they're having affairs with.
and believe it or not, if your husband were cheating - i'd also have to apportion at least some of the blame for that happening... to YOU.

it takes two people to make a successful, faithful marriage...
and it takes TWO people for that same marriage to fracture to the point where one or the other has an affair.

I said my issue would be with my husband who was cheating on me not the woman he was with. She is not, in my opinion the problem as she did not make a committment to me.

Then you say the men who cheat are just as - if not more - responsible for any affiars that might be happening.....

I completely agree that it would be my husband is the one who would be responsible for his actions. I'm not sure what you thought I said.