Advise. Please.

[sexy-girl]

oh never i am very sorry i know you must have been freaking inside but its good that your thinking it through now if anybody could turn this into a positive im sure its you turn this into your escape into what you want it to be ... not what your step father is telling you to do


take control of the situation and like KM said think about discussing some kind of deal with your step father but make sure your doing what you want ... use him for your own gains if need be


a year ago and a bit my mother and i were left by my father he was the main income earner so it was scary somewhat but a year later now my life couldnt be happier ... you can do this with your life too because your smarter then me you'll do it even better


rely on your friends too ... sometimes friends are better then family anyway ... you wont have to do this on your own i know you have friends here and i know i havent known you for so long but if there was anything you needed to talk or something i could do in real life i would and im sure many people here feel equally the same


im really sorry and very for you but i KNOW things will be alright no matter how crazy they feel right now you will make it *hugs*

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Never

We love you.

Ye we do, very much

 

[LadyDarkFire]

I don't know the exact circumstances of your situation Never, but I do have a few suggestions that worked when I was in a pinch. Since a week is not really enough time to make a safe and steady move, you might want to ask your step father or mother for an extention, a reasonable period of time in which to find a safe, clean place. College is probably still an option. Look at where you are moving to, if it has a community college, you can generally get good night courses, that are one or two nights a week. In the mean time, if you get the extension, talk to your mother alone. Don't ask her to appose your step father, but discuss your concerns, and your pain with her. Don't forget to listen, and be willing to comprimise. Hope it all works out for you.

 

[Chelsea_Rose]

Parental units

Parents can screw you up and down and not even realize it. It's taken me a year of psychotherapy to get me to the point where I know that I am an independent being, and that regardless of what they say or do, I can survive.

But it sounds like you love your mother a lot and have enjoyed a close relationship with her. Can I just say, if it's important to you, don't let it go. Because it will never spontaneously heal.

She may not even know how much she has hurt you. At the very least, tell her that. Then the ball is in her court.

That's something that I will never cease to regret- suffering in silence, as it were. Because it hurts so much to know that she doesn't even know she's hurt you!

 

[estevie]

Never,

You and I got off on the wrong foot the other day...I would just like to say that it will be ok. I have read through the posts and Im soo glad you are feeling a bit better. I got kicked out of my house when I was young too...younger than you, I was 17. I thought I would never forgive my parents, yes, they are both my real parents. It was sooo hard and I made some veryyy bad choices...one of which I'm still married to As I look back on it all, I wouldn't change it..it has made me the woman I am today.

I have no advice for you. I wish it was that simple. But I can tell you this, from what i've seen andheard from you the last few days on this board, you are a very strong woman. You will make it through this, it will be hard and you will think that you can't do it, but I have faith in you. Do your best, try your hardest, don't let someone elses actions dictate how you feel (I know, easier said than done) trust me when I say, it will be alright!

 

[Hecate]

I can not give advise ...

I have never in my life been in a situation that was swim or sink - not that I realize anyway. I have had a sheltered life and still my parents and family are the people I know will never turn their back on me, so it is impossible for me to say "I know how you feel" cause I don't.

What I do know though is that you have all the support you can wish for from your friends - from people who love you and care for you, sincerely, deeply, honestly - and from people who are willing to help you!

here is my advise: Only you can tell what feels best for you, what really are realistic options in your situation - but when you made up your mind GO FOR IT! Do it because you WANT to do it not because circumstance made you choose that way (not sure if that made sense for anyone but me) and .. please, don't refuse your friends's help! It is not a sign of wealkness to lean on a shoulder when in need - I am sure you will be given plenty chances in your life to be the one to offer a supporting shoulder in return.

Best of luck!

 

[RisiaSkye]

Resurrecting this thread...

Just to add in an extra voice of support and confidence.
The family shit sucks, and will take time to sort out and deal with in a way that works for you instead of against you.

The immediate living circumstances will be much easier than you think. I, too, have been in the sudden and unexpected sink-or-swim situation, and you'll find that you have more strength, resiliency, and determination than you knew you had. From what I've seen of you, you're already starting with a good brain, a quick wit, and a generous spirit. With those tools, and a little resolve, you'll come through this a stronger, healthier, and ultimately happier person than you could ever be in your current environment.

If you need anything that can be done from SoCal, drop me a line.

You'll make it. It'll be alright.

RS

 

[Never]

Ahhhh..
I don't want to say anything at this point for I am living proof that a plan is nothing until it's been completed but..

I think this might be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

 

[Mischka]

Check your PMs, Never.

 

[Never]

Never checked her PMs like a good Never.
Never thinks she deserves ice cream now...

Yes, NOW.

 

[Mr. Bootie]

Just dropping a line to show my support Never

Never will I not show someone here support in thier hour of need. A friend loveth at all times, and there is a friend that sticks closer than any brother. Love and support to you Never.

Hug and Kiss,

kgboot

 

[Svedish_Chef]

Ahhhh..
I don't want to say anything at this point for I am living proof that a plan is nothing until it's been completed but..

Now I'm worried you know my father... that sound just like him

I think this might be the best thing that's ever happened to me.

Yup

 

[Siren]

Much good advice here and support for you Never

 

[Wizard]

Re: Much good advice here and support for you Never

Go to school, talk to an advisor, see what loans, grants or scholarships are available. go right away, dont delay. MIght take time to process applications.

Also, go to social services. You are an adult and considered homeless as of day expelled from home. They have alot of emergency stuff for you, money, food stamps and places for you to stay.

Check it out and let us know what happens.

Be pro active....get going now, force yourself to move...dont let your depression and fear paralize ya....dont wait for the boot, leave of your accord with self pride....let him know, he didnt break you and you are strong.



goodluck and I know you will be okay

Where did she come from.???????...............................Hi stranger......<waving>

 

[teresafannin]

Good Luck, Never. I wish I had some advice, but what the others have said is all good. I wish you the best & will be keeping you in my thoughts. Family can be so difficult. I am glad you have good friends, they are so important. Take care, Teresa

 

[XXplorher]

It’s only going to get worse *smarmy-bright-grin*

Free at last!!