Advice please

[Tighter]

As many times as I've had sex, not once have I had an orgasm. Perhaps I have and not known it? I know that sounds ridiculous but it's the truth. Will I ever know if I have/had one? I get wet enough, so maybe I've had it and not known?
I've tried masturbation to see if I could get it myself, but haven't achieved it yet. My friend said if I had one I'd know it. Could I get some suggestions as to ways to relax so it could happen? Thanks.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Try a warm bubble bath, some sexy fantasies, and the shower attachment spraying on your clit.

Your friend is right. You know when you've had an orgasm - the build up, the crest, the thobbing, and the tingles are not something you could miss.

 

[human_male]

Perhapse you need stimulation. Find something that turns you on ie erotica, porn, rugby matches or whatever, and masturbate while you're watching/reading.

 

[bad_angel]

I have the same problem. I have had to fake way to often. I know that masterbation doesnt seem to work. Try new positions, Doggy is a good one because you can stimulate your clit at the same time. Or youon top, the penetration is very deep.

 

[Slowlane]

Not a woman but, don’t hurry and don’t try to force it. Spend some time learning your body and what feels good to you. Concentrate on the pleasure you find in touching yourself (or whatever gives you pleasure) not the orgasm. Don’t search for an orgasm, let the orgasm find you.

Like I said, I’m not a woman, but relaxation seems to help just about everything. Perhaps with some music and wine???

Let us know if anything works and what it was.

 

[yoshimitsu]

Come over to my house. You won't be able to stop having orgasams
J/K
Ever tried an ultrasonic toothbrush?

 

[yoshimitsu]

Or good Oral?

 

[bad_angel]

I have tryd EVERYTHING there is to try get me off. (yes even a electric toothbrush) nothing seems to work. sure u get realy excited but thats as far as it goes. closest i ever came was one time when i was realy drunk and he was realy rough. Talk about good times!!
So maybe alcahol is the key.

 

[Eilan]

So maybe alcahol is the key.

Even though Homer Simpson says that alcohol is the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems, I wouldn't advise getting drunk. A drink or two might be relaxing, but I don't know that any more than that would be a good idea.

 

[mrtnmoon]

I'm going to recommend that you read this thread. hopefully you've got someone you can try it with. my own personal experience starts on about page 50 of the thread, I think.

the short version is that even tho my friend had had a lot more experience than I had, things she said led me to believe that she'd never really had an orgasm. I wanted to change that if I could.... I care a lot about her so I've always done everything I could think of to make her feel good emotionally and physically. I stumbled across mr. ggg's thread and she most definitely knows what an orgasm feels like now.

*actually, I discovered that my first post is on page 49 of the thread, where I said I was going to try it on my friend. this is my first post relating our experience:

the technique drew raves from the woman I used it on today! up until today we were never even sure she had had an orgasm. she gets very wet and she said she couldn't tell because of that. she was asking me if she had cum, and I honestly didn't think she really had. I told her that from what I've read, she should feel sort of an explosion for lack of a better word. she had never felt that.........

until today

we didn't count orgasms, but she got the whole shebang today... the explosions, the wetness..... she even squirted a few times. she's had quite a few lovers and she said none of them has made her do that. my only regret is because of the position (I had her face down across my lap) I couldn't really see the squirting. I felt it in my hand, tho, and we left two huge puddles in the bed.

I think she was fairly amazed.... and I know that as long as we have our "arrangement" the g-spot will become a regular part of our playing.

thanks, mr. ggg

 

[bad_angel]

Have i mentiond lately just how much I love u?? You rock thank you so much for pointing me to that thread! it will definatly get tryed tonight.

 

[Halo_n_horns]

As many times as I've had sex, not once have I had an orgasm. Perhaps I have and not known it? I know that sounds ridiculous but it's the truth. Will I ever know if I have/had one? I get wet enough, so maybe I've had it and not known?
I've tried masturbation to see if I could get it myself, but haven't achieved it yet. My friend said if I had one I'd know it. Could I get some suggestions as to ways to relax so it could happen? Thanks.

I told this story somewhere else in the threads, but I get the feeling that by the time I find it I would have been able to just type it out again.

One of my exes was a woman who had never had an orgasm when we started dating. When she told me about that it became my life's mission to get that taken care of for her. It took me nearly three months to get to the night that it would happen. And there was a tremendous amount of learning and patience on my part in getting to that night.

This lady was definitely no prude. We experimented with a broad spectrum of sexual delights in those first few months. What she didn't realize was how much I was into her and her body's pleasures and how much I was teaching myself about her.

Finally the night arrived. We had grown trusting and comfortable with one another, and she had no idea what I was planning. I started with a full body massage and red wine. That was followed up with a light dinner and an equally light dessert. Wine was a constant throughout the evening, but not in any over-indulgent quantities. Aside from a few moments during the massage there was no sex play of any kind. After dinner we relaxed and talked sweet nothings to one another for a bit, and then I massaged her temples for a bit before going to bed.

By that time she was very, very relaxed.

I massaged her temples some more until she fell alseep. Then I waited. I gave her a good 20-30 minutes to make sure she was in a very sound sleep. It took me another 5-10 minutes to maneuver myself under the covers and get between her legs without disturbing her. With my tongue and the index and middle fingers of my right hand I slowly, very slowly went to work on her. After a while her body was reacting. Her breathing was getting heavier, her hips were unconsciously moving with me (I knew that because it was a very laxidasical kind of movement that wasn't like when she was awake), and an occasional sigh would escape from her mouth in a near whisper. Slowly I increased my efforts and intensity.

I'm not sure how long I was at it. She crashed out at roughly 10 o'clock. It was shortly before midnight when she screamed out of her sleep calling my name, shuddering and quaking with her legs clamping down around my head while she was gripping the sheets with both hands tight enough to pull a couple of the corners up.

I stopped and let her catch her breath. She pulled me to her and hugged me. Her roommate came to her bedroom door, knocked and asked if she was alright. She replied that everything was great.

She asked me if there was anything that she could do to thank me and I simply responded that she already had. That was great night.

After that it was still a challenge to get her off, but it was far from impossible.

So, basically, you need to find your comfort zone, stop thinking about it so much, it'll happen when things are right and get easier from there.

 

[Tighter]

Great, thanks for all the suggestions.
Will give it a try and hopefully find it.