Here is a brief over view of the situation:
I am 23 and my father has been out of my life since I was approximatly 3 years old. My mother and he got a divorce at that time, he had no custody rights and a restraining order. He was not formaly charged with sexual abuse of me, however the child psycologist who worked with me concluded that there was a definat history of abuse. I had phobias of men who looked like him and a few other items triggered fear as well but it was all direceted at the abuse.
His family and he had violated the restraining order a few times, in the way of phone calls but nothing in person. I had grown up very afraid of him. However, I have delt fairly well with those issues. I have let go of the feer and anger. After I was married I sent him a pic, and outlines rules for starting contact on my ground. We have gotten to know each other via internet for the past year.
I have realy liked getting to know my father and think that it is good thing to start and maintain a relationship of some sort.
But I am left with a few issues still. I want to bring up the abuse in the past but don't know how to do it. Or maybe bringing it up is dumb move altogether?
*Has anyone been in a silimar situation or perhaps have ideas they would like to share, i would greatly appreciate it**
THANK YOU!!!
I am 23 and my father has been out of my life since I was approximatly 3 years old. My mother and he got a divorce at that time, he had no custody rights and a restraining order. He was not formaly charged with sexual abuse of me, however the child psycologist who worked with me concluded that there was a definat history of abuse. I had phobias of men who looked like him and a few other items triggered fear as well but it was all direceted at the abuse.
His family and he had violated the restraining order a few times, in the way of phone calls but nothing in person. I had grown up very afraid of him. However, I have delt fairly well with those issues. I have let go of the feer and anger. After I was married I sent him a pic, and outlines rules for starting contact on my ground. We have gotten to know each other via internet for the past year.
I have realy liked getting to know my father and think that it is good thing to start and maintain a relationship of some sort.
But I am left with a few issues still. I want to bring up the abuse in the past but don't know how to do it. Or maybe bringing it up is dumb move altogether?
*Has anyone been in a silimar situation or perhaps have ideas they would like to share, i would greatly appreciate it**
THANK YOU!!!