Advice on possible online D/S relationship

[Keroin]

The OP is an ass.

I know nothing about WoW nor do I care to. And, the format in which the OP was participating is irrelevant. Let’s move this scenario into a real life situation: There are several teams on a field playing a game – soccer, baseball, football, whatever. Anyone who has played sports expects there will be a certain degree of good-natured jibes and teasing. However, in one of these games we have a man on one team who is not just tossing off the odd insult, he is deliberately harassing and belittling a woman on the opposing team.

In fact, his bullying is so bad that she leaves the field and moves to another game.

The man stalks her, follows her to the other field and continues his unprovoked, non-consensual assault there.

This is not a “mistake”. We all make mistakes in our lives, we all do things we regret and those of us who are mature adults do our best to express our sincere regret, make amends and adjust our behaviour accordingly.

Regardless of whether the OP’s victim is a pyl or not, (or how she responded to his attacks), is inconsequential. His actions – harassing and stalking an innocent human being – are loathsome and vile. How would any parent feel if someone did this to their child? How would you feel if someone did this to your sibling? Your friend? Your SO?

That it happened online makes not one iota of difference. A bully is a bully.

The OP has not expressed one sincere word of either sympathy for his victim or remorse for his actions. Horrific grammar aside, his actions speak of someone without ethics.

He asked for our opinions, that is mine.

 

[volvin]

The OP is an ass.

I know nothing about WoW nor do I care to. And, the format in which the OP was participating is irrelevant. Let’s move this scenario into a real life situation: There are several teams on a field playing a game – soccer, baseball, football, whatever. Anyone who has played sports expects there will be a certain degree of good-natured jibes and teasing. However, in one of these games we have a man on one team who is not just tossing off the odd insult, he is deliberately harassing and belittling a woman on the opposing team.

In fact, his bullying is so bad that she leaves the field and moves to another game.

The man stalks her, follows her to the other field and continues his unprovoked, non-consensual assault there.

This is not a “mistake”. We all make mistakes in our lives, we all do things we regret and those of us who are mature adults do our best to express our sincere regret, make amends and adjust our behaviour accordingly.

Regardless of whether the OP’s victim is a pyl or not, (or how she responded to his attacks), is inconsequential. His actions – harassing and stalking an innocent human being – are loathsome and vile. How would any parent feel if someone did this to their child? How would you feel if someone did this to your sibling? Your friend? Your SO?

That it happened online makes not one iota of difference. A bully is a bully.

The OP has not expressed one sincere word of either sympathy for his victim or remorse for his actions. Horrific grammar aside, his actions speak of someone without ethics.

He asked for our opinions, that is mine.

but i did NOT do it in real life also.. that is the second time you have mentioned children which i find disturbing and creepy.

What i did was pull a prank on someone but when the victim comes back asking for more i drop all pretense of my own fun and decided how the hell do i help this person not abuse them.. so call me a bully if you like but the purpose of this thread was still how best to help not harm

 

[Keroin]

but i did NOT do it in real life also.. that is the second time you have mentioned children which i find disturbing and creepy.

What i did was pull a prank on someone but when the victim comes back asking for more i drop all pretense of my own fun and decided how the hell do i help this person not abuse them.. so call me a bully if you like but the purpose of this thread was still how best to help not harm

1. Show me the other post wherein I mentioned children.

2. The description you provided of your behaviour far exceeds "prank" by my definition. I, and many others, would call it harassment.

3. If you want to help this girl, tell her to come here and explore BDSM in a safe environment, then cut off all contact with her. Anything less is selfish on your part.

4. Whether this occurred in real life is unimportant, your actions, however, are important.

5. You make a lot of excuses for your bad behaviour.

6. The victim walked away from a game, to get away from you, and you followed her to the next one. That is not asking for more. You stalked this person. And I find the "she asked for it" excuse far creepier than my mention of children.

 

[volvin]

1. Show me the other post wherein I mentioned children.

2. The description you provided of your behaviour far exceeds "prank" by my definition. I, and many others, would call it harassment.

3. If you want to help this girl, tell her to come here and explore BDSM in a safe environment, then cut off all contact with her. Anything less is selfish on your part.

4. Whether this occurred in real life is unimportant, your actions, however, are important.

5. You make a lot of excuses for your bad behaviour.

6. The victim walked away from a game, to get away from you, and you followed her to the next one. That is not asking for more. You stalked this person. And I find the "she asked for it" excuse far creepier than my mention of children.

i looked at it again i mixed your post with some one else you only mention kids once

in your mind your already classifed me as predator and "girl" in your own words as victim i love the internet

i don't make any excuses what so ever but hang on it the same setting its pretty common.

 

[where]

If a dominant can go to dinner with a bunch of friends but puts all kinds of nasty toys in side his submissive just so he knows she is suffering while every one eats and talks and debates.

take the same setting to a World of warcraft activity, your a healer in a 25man raid on a vent server your scared how your voice might sound since there is a vibrating toy inside you. its the last boss of the night and you just ran in to a corner and died the GM screams at you asking Wtf did you do that for while a masculine voice Laughs deeply in the back round.

Closest thing to real life you can get ( in terms of online)

And for anyone that has played WOW you know raiding as DPS is boring as hell i have to find some ways to amuse my self. but it

PS... i hope i dont sound to nerdy with all this lol

that is total gibberish. I suggest you get a real life.

 

[volvin]

that is total gibberish. I suggest you get a real life.

i did that's why i stooped playing two years ago games like that take over your life

 

[MisterSir]

in your mind your already classifed me as predator and "girl" in your own words as victim i love the internet

That's probably because you were the one to, as you shamelessly admit, harass and bug her. She is the victim.

 

[where]

i did that's why i stooped playing two years ago games like that take over your life

your posts make my head hurt.

 

[volvin]

your posts make my head hurt.

i have a brain tumor correct spelling was the first thing to go

 

[chy_girl]

This is starting to feel a little Beloved-esque in a basement wanker sort of way...

Seriously, what are you? Twelve? You show up, you ask for opinions and advice and then proceed to either insult, ignore or argue with the experienced people who can actually help you with the information you're looking for.

Allow me to provide you with a helpful piece of advice. If you're serious about the whole D/s thing, take the cotton out of your ears and stick it in your mouth. If you're not serious about the whole D/s thing... realize that you're playing a rather irritating game on a board full of sadists and masochists.

 

[YourCaptor]

I find this amusing.

The reason why WOW sucks is because WOW nerds are assholes that can't help be any other way.

This WOW nerd shockingly finds someone who is into the assholic shit, and now he wants to act normal and cant figure out how.

Irony

I guess even on WOW you get the whole "boy meets girl" scenery. What are the odds? The entire wow nerd population of the earth to 1 girl.

 

[CarnageSIS]

I find this amusing.

The reason why WOW sucks is because WOW nerds are assholes that can't help be any other way.

This WOW nerd shockingly finds someone who is into the assholic shit, and now he wants to act normal and cant figure out how.

Irony

I guess even on WOW you get the whole "boy meets girl" scenery. What are the odds? The entire wow nerd population of the earth to 1 girl.

I would like to say that one asshat does not define all WoW players and as a female WoW player with many female friends who also play I find your generalization offensive.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Okay I have a similar story: I was on FB the other day and got this friend request from a girl who wanted me to feed her chickens on Farmville. I figured what the fuck, I'll feed your chickens alright bitch I chased her domesticated fowl and made them sob uncontrollably (three had heart attacks) and fertilized her crops with my own waste and took her bonus egg and fucking smashed it on her head she ran screaming to a horse stable and I chased her in there and she was crying I made her suck my big carrot and here's the thing: she totally "Liked" it and now wants me to do her bent over the pumpkins with a plum gagging her could it be the same girl???

 

[chy_girl]

Okay I have a similar story: I was on FB the other day and got this friend request from a girl who wanted me to feed her chickens on Farmville. I figured what the fuck, I'll feed your chickens alright bitch I chased her domesticated fowl and made them sob uncontrollably (three had heart attacks) and fertilized her crops with my own waste and took her bonus egg and fucking smashed it on her head she ran screaming to a horse stable and I chased her in there and she was crying I made her suck my big carrot and here's the thing: she totally "Liked" it and now wants me to do her bent over the pumpkins with a plum gagging her could it be the same girl???

*cough*
Nice to see you again, DGE. And can't you please pull your head out the books a little more often - I totally miss seeing you on the boards.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

but i did NOT do it in real life also..

You say that like it makes a difference.

How many people are committing suicide these days due to cyber harrassment and stalking and bullying?

The virtual world and the real world are far too blended for anything you do online to be deemed harmless no matter what it is, and for 'but I didn't do it in real life' to be a valid excuse for acting like a cunt.

I'd also vote for leaving her alone to sort herself out. She will when she's ready and able. She doesn't need your 'help'.

 

[volvin]

You say that like it makes a difference.

How many people are committing suicide these days due to cyber harrassment and stalking and bullying?

The virtual world and the real world are far too blended for anything you do online to be deemed harmless no matter what it is, and for 'but I didn't do it in real life' to be a valid excuse for acting like a cunt.

I'd also vote for leaving her alone to sort herself out. She will when she's ready and able. She doesn't need your 'help'.

]


You know i don't think i made this clear... I harassed her yes done deal.


Now she is Stalking me wanting more of the Same. Leaving her alone isnt the issues it never was.

 

[volvin]

This is starting to feel a little Beloved-esque in a basement wanker sort of way...

Seriously, what are you? Twelve? You show up, you ask for opinions and advice and then proceed to either insult, ignore or argue with the experienced people who can actually help you with the information you're looking for.

Allow me to provide you with a helpful piece of advice. If you're serious about the whole D/s thing, take the cotton out of your ears and stick it in your mouth. If you're not serious about the whole D/s thing... realize that you're playing a rather irritating game on a board full of sadists and masochists.

Read the thread most everyone has a opinion on me but not the situation. getting stuck on Game+BDSM and assuming am a geek or wack job What i have is someone stalking me at this point and i rather not do any great harm


i am a top i have several partners which i have sessions with a couple times a month i figured out how to get my fix for this stuff a long time ago. i have plenty of experience and that was never what i asked for what i have is a confused and completely lost personality which i don't know how best to approach

 

[CarnageSIS]

]


You know i don't think i made this clear... I harassed her yes done deal.


Now she is Stalking me wanting more of the Same. Leaving her alone isnt the issues it never was.

Well if getting her to leave you alone is the issue then you don't really have a problem do you? In the first post you said you don't really play WoW that often anymore and then again you said you quit the game. So she can't really be bothering you that much on a game you quit playing.

Assuming for some reason you don't want to close your account I'd suggest either /ignore or a name change, after all if your spitting out the $15 a month for something your not playing the slight charge for a name change wouldn't be any big deal. There's also always a server change, but again seems kind of a waste of money for a game your not playing?

I agree with the general thought that you should just leave her be. Perhaps point her to a community where she can go for information and support, but beyond that just tell her politely that your intent was not to start something sexual and while flattered by her interest you feel she would be better off with someone who is interested in that kind of relationship with her. Then log off and actually quit the game you said you did quit or refer to the paragraph above.

 

[volvin]

I find this amusing.

The reason why WOW sucks is because WOW nerds are assholes that can't help be any other way.

This WOW nerd shockingly finds someone who is into the assholic shit, and now he wants to act normal and cant figure out how.

Irony

I guess even on WOW you get the whole "boy meets girl" scenery. What are the odds? The entire wow nerd population of the earth to 1 girl.

Flaming stereotype truly worthy of my old grandmothers warnings about "internet is only for child molesters be careful"

I have a question for you, Currently the Supreme court agreed to review a challenge California's ban on the sale of violent video games to minors.


if you had a vote on this which way would you lean?

 

[volvin]

Well if getting her to leave you alone is the issue then you don't really have a problem do you? In the first post you said you don't really play WoW that often anymore and then again you said you quit the game. So she can't really be bothering you that much on a game you quit playing.

Assuming for some reason you don't want to close your account I'd suggest either /ignore or a name change, after all if your spitting out the $15 a month for something your not playing the slight charge for a name change wouldn't be any big deal. There's also always a server change, but again seems kind of a waste of money for a game your not playing?

I agree with the general thought that you should just leave her be. Perhaps point her to a community where she can go for information and support, but beyond that just tell her politely that your intent was not to start something sexual and while flattered by her interest you feel she would be better off with someone who is interested in that kind of relationship with her. Then log off and actually quit the game you said you did quit or refer to the paragraph above.

my account has infinite time on it i merc my self out a couple years ago for 60 day time cards. so that isnt a issue

I had a clear question which i wanted answered i haven't had a submissive so into humiliation like this. what i want to know is if i move to make her a online sub to me am i going to have a back lash in how are relationship started.


i did mention.. all her friends were laughing because the jokes i used while sexual were funny and not horrible if i had been a monster she never would of messaged me pure and simple. she may be confused about her desires but she is hardly a moron least as far i can i tell

 

[CutieMouse]

my account has infinite time on it i merc my self out a couple years ago for 60 day time cards. so that isnt a issue

I had a clear question which i wanted answered i haven't had a submissive so into humiliation like this. what i want to know is if i move to make her a online sub to me am i going to have a back lash in how are relationship started.


i did mention.. all her friends were laughing because the jokes i used while sexual were funny and not horrible if i had been a monster she never would of messaged me pure and simple. she may be confused about her desires but she is hardly a moron least as far i can i tell

So over the course of the thread you've explained all this Wow stuff that people who don't play online role playing whatevertheyare games won't understand... but said it doesn't really have anything to do with the question. And now you're saying you are worried about a "backlash" over how this ONLINE GAME BASED relationship started.

People have offered up advice and opinions based on your poorly phrased/worded/explained information, and you've slammed everything you disagree with. So why exactly do you even care what anyone thinks of how you treat some [stalker] girl in an online game you claim to not even really play anymore?

 

[volvin]

So over the course of the thread you've explained all this Wow stuff that people who don't play online role playing whatevertheyare games won't understand... but said it doesn't really have anything to do with the question. And now you're saying you are worried about a "backlash" over how this ONLINE GAME BASED relationship started.

People have offered up advice and opinions based on your poorly phrased/worded/explained information, and you've slammed everything you disagree with. So why exactly do you even care what anyone thinks of how you treat some [stalker] girl in an online game you claim to not even really play anymore?

i like to see how other people think

 

[chy_girl]

Read the thread most everyone has a opinion on me but not the situation. getting stuck on Game+BDSM and assuming am a geek or wack job What i have is someone stalking me at this point and i rather not do any great harm


i am a top i have several partners which i have sessions with a couple times a month i figured out how to get my fix for this stuff a long time ago. i have plenty of experience and that was never what i asked for what i have is a confused and completely lost personality which i don't know how best to approach

I've tried reading the thread. Numerous times. I even tried asking a friend about the WoW components.

Problem is, it's very hard to follow when the half of the conversation meant to provide the needed information is unintelligible. As midwestyankee pointed out, you are expecting the reader to mentally proof read what your saying because you're too lazy to use the period/full stop key. Not many around are going to do that. It is your responsibility, not ours.

If we can't figure out what you're asking (WoW component aside) based on your simple lack of effort, you're going to either get answers that are all over the place or flicked shit. And around here, it's almost guaranteed that you'll be blessed with both.

 

[teknight]

You're 24 and you can't spell, nor use punctuation? What, did you spend the whole entire time when you were supposed to be getting an education playing W.o.W.? Lemme help you there, bud. I'll edit your shit, if only so all the people who you've pissed off (and you are looking to piss us off) can read and hopefully understand what it is you want. (I doubt that improving the grammar and punctuation will clarify much, but we shall see, won't we?)
In red are my comments.
NB=nota bene= pay attention, in Latin and Italian.

I did something five days ago that, without defending myself, only a asshole would do. Let's get that out of the way.
I was bored so I decided to log on to World of warcraft which i rarely play nowadays. I entered a PVP Realm ( where you can kill the people you meet) and took my character to a place called Tanaris. I sat around for a bit then spied a Female Human Rogue in town. I followed her out and killed her again and again... You get the idea. Using a friend's account, (I am honesty very well liked,* : )) even though I am a bit of an ass. LOL.) I made a Level 1 on her faction's side to talk to her. For those that don't play WoW (have lives?**) there are two factions that can kill each other at will, but you can't talk to people from the other faction, hence why I created the 2nd account to bypass that rule).

*NB:You have yet to meet the burden of proof on that one.
** Couldn't help the snark. You're all beautiful people. Level 100 at least.

For the sake of my entertainment I told her to either log off and go play something else or pay 200 gold pieces so that I would leave her alone. We talked back and forth for a bit then she asked me to join her on her ( and it's their not there, you jackass) Ventrilo, to talk. I thought it would be fun so I joined up and was dragged in to her channel. I noticed by the Vents info that it belonged to her(at that point i found out it was a girl) and she was an Officer in her guild.

At this point it became a lot more interesting. She threatened, pleaded and begged while I maintained a cool head and voice while sticking to my demands. I was also recording what she said. I won't bore you with the details of this chat since i have already used three paragraphs on trivial gaming details but at some point I got her to say "I will suck your cock".

She argued with me for about an hour before giving up and crying into the head set. She left the channel to join one above it which had 10 people in it ( i guessed an ICC raid). I did a Sloppy job on the editing of our (you wrote "are"? really? WoW!) chat then jumped into the channel and became an asshole cyber stereotype, implying we had a relationship
and I wanted her again. I used edited bits of her voice to get the group laughing for about 10 minutes or so, figured it was a job well done and called it that.


3 days later I got mail from her on my toons asking if she can talk to me. I joined her again on vent in a private channel and at first she wanted to have a go at me, but her attitude and words just didn't add up. It turns out she she been turned on by the group humiliation and wanted more. It took me hours to figure out that was why she was talking to me but we got there. I gave her a few tests: she is submissive and heavy into humiliation which I like.


OK, Now here are my problems:
(Your problem is that you need to learn to write and maybe not be a dick.)

One. If I start to view her as a submissive (more to the point my submissive) she has more rights than a nameless person I used to amuse myself on the internet. And am not sure how that will affect (not effect!) both of us in the long run. OK. Neither are any of of us.

Two The first act we did together was non-consensual, which i hate even in play, so I am worried she will want play that leans towards fake consent, or, worse, expect me to randomly do horrible shit to her even if it is hot, it's different once she becomes a sub.

Third and foremost: i did something pretty mean to her. I have no idea how deep into BDSM she is or what her living situation is, so it's hard to form an opinion of her as of right now but, once she gets past her new (i assume they are new) desires, is she going to resent me for the way I entered into her life?


I find myself confused on how to proceed here and welcome any and all views ( even if you want to call me an ass.)

OK. YOU ARE AN ASS.

Now for the commentary:
1. You claim that, were she your sub, she'd have more rights than some random person on the internet. That hinges solely on us accepting your jackass behavior as a mere prank and no more, or, worse, you're thinking we are accepting your behavior 'cause it's a fait accompli (a done deal). Understand that it is unlikely we will do so, and you can check the reactions you've received for confirmation.
Moving beyond the fact that you're perfectly alright with bullying people as long as they're not able to face you (you're soo manly, btw), since that is what you asked us to do (i.e. get over you being an ass), you're also assuming she's willing to be your sub, under whatever rules you two can agree on. That is a big assumption as well. All you claim to know is that she's turned on by quasi-public humiliation scenes. That doesn't mean she'll go from that to being a sub, or, more specifically, your sub.

2. Your first act wasn't performed together. You humiliated her, 'cause you felt like being a dick. You performed your first act together when she sought you out, the second time you talked to her. However, you're uncomfortable with doing non-consensual stuff with your sub (and yet you're OK with doing the exact same thing to a stranger? If anything, you high minded fellow, that should be backwards, but, whatever...). Again, I'll say, she ain't your sub. Even if she does sign up to be your sub, non consent scenarios are something you're not into, so, why let her become your sub in the first place? What, does everyone else have as sub and you feel left out? If NC is her thing, but not yours, then the solution is clear: stop talking to her. Explain to her that while you enjoy being an ass to strangers, you don't enjoy being an ass to people you know...or however you'd wanna term that.

3. You don't know her. You don't know that she is into BDSM (getting off on being humiliated does not make one a lifestyler, nor does it mean they would be interested in any other aspect of BDSM, which, btw, encompasses a huge range of behaviors, etc.) Why is her living situation relevant? Do you want to move in with her? Are we supposed to understand from your stumpy phrase that you're intrigued by this girl and would like to get to know her better? It seems as if you don't want her to hate you, quite the contrary: you want her to like you. Do you want to date her? In your head this is turning into an online D/s relationship- have you asked her? The answer seems to be "No" since you claim you don't know her.

You're asking for two things, really:
a) you'd like us to forgive you for being a dick. You figure that if you come on here and we forgive you, then surely she will forgive you too. That makes no sense, but more power to you. And, btw, I won't forgive you for being a dick, if only because your demand was itself dickish as well: you have no regards for us, the people whose help you're asking for, or you would have taken the time to write properly. On second thought, this seems to be your writing level, so asking you to write better becomes a moot point: you CAN'T. OK. Ignoring your second grade writing skills, I still can't forgive you because you kept on acting like a dick after your request. Understand that while what you're asking for is clear in your head, a lot of people weren't able (nor willing, but it's up to you to convince us to waste our time on you) to understand what it is you want, in part because you can't write.
However, I'm assuming too much: it's not clear to yourself what you want: You think you want her to be your sub. You don't want her to be your sub if she's only into NC stuff. You seem to feel bad about the way you treated her, now that she has shown interest in you (here's a hint: she sought you out. She wasn't hurt enough, or whatever, to want to never get in touch with you. She liked your interaction despite your dickishness.) and want to know whether your behavior will impact your future interactions. You'd like to know how to ask her to be your sub.

Does that hit the nail on the head, ass?

 

[sb2009]

so...my thoughts are, in order, the same as Chy's, Netatzh, and Teknight's. Tek took the most time but we know he thinks in two languages so he probably processed that in some sort of binary time and it was just actually 3 secs of thought.... and then DGE, well, he made me laugh really really hard. But I will NEVER ask him to feed my chickens!