Advice, If you cant be nice, dont respond.

[dondon_1515]

Be Safe and Happy

If you dont want anyone to get hurt anymore, you have to make a move. There is not much to do now.
But moving out is not enough, you have to do it right way. Get restrain order.
Get good family support for you and your kid.
Think about how will you manage financially.
You will need to have some good story to encourage you child with move and changes. And at the end think about yourself.
It will take time but you have to start now.

 

[Instructions4u]

You are only given one life to live.

Having personal experience in this area, and wondering what if mom left dad so many years ago, what would today have been like for me, I only know one thing for certain. The best gift a parent could give a child is an emotionally stable home..I truly believe mental abuse can and will dissolve any efforts to start the children on their path of happiness with their lives that have yet to develop. Take a deep breath, and leave that son of a bitch husband of yours..a real man loves, nurtures, and above all else, respects his family members as individuAls with their own minds and free will, to be who and what they are in their lives with pride, confidence, and love for themselves. Repeated blows to a persons mind, especially those just developing, is a grave injustice.

 

[rockinbbw]

make a plan

even if it takes you a few months, keep your son close and keep a watchful eye. But make a plan to leave. Let others know, so you are more likely to stick to it. If you have tried to fix things and nothing changes.... Sadly, it sounds like your marriage is ending.

 

[cliteatingman]

So, I really do not have anyone to talk to, so I thought of posting here to get some advice.

When is enough enough in a marriage?

My five year marriage has been littered by spurts of severe mental and emotional abuse, and dotted with occasional pushing and shoving. I was a vibrant 21 year old, self- confident, loving, caring, silly, bubbly. Fast forward six or so years... I am a little bit dark and icy.

I was raised in a peaceful and happy household, and HATE confrontation, conflict and chaos. My husband, his family, his ex wife and his two oldest kids thrive on it.

For the first few years I had grace and poise and handled everything so well.

My husband works, and brings home a steady paycheck, he fixes anything that is broke, helps clean, interacts with the kids. But also sets a horrible example by verbally abusing everyone, teasing, bullying etc.

Add in his very violent brother, his completely unstable ex wife etc etc....

Add in the 14 year old child that has had three mental hospital stays and has physically hurt two of the younger kids (my four year old has a broken collar bone right now because of him). Said 14 yr old has since moved out due to issues at school, he moved to his mothers house, but of course still visits.

My question is, even though you care about someone, and do not really want a divorce, to start all over... Break up your child's home. Is mental anguish enough to justify ending a marriage? My husband is not a horrible person, but my soul hurts daily, but perhaps I have a false sense of what marriage should be? I think marriage should be a union of two people that love, cherish and comfort each other. There is trust, respect and companionship between the two. I do not think it is healthy to fight daily or even weekly, ..

I think the point is made of the overall issues, I do not have any friends (he finds flaws in any friends I have), and I hate talking negatively to my mother, whom I am very close to, about my husband. Maybe some of you wiser, more experienced members can give some advice.

I would recommend getting out. Also seek advice in other places including profesional counselors besides this board

 

[griffon]

If there is abuse (physical or mental), or if children are being hurt - it is time to move on! You are too young to be stuck that for your future!

 

[snoopydaddy59]

So, I really do not have anyone to talk to, so I thought of posting here to get some advice.

When is enough enough in a marriage?

My five year marriage has been littered by spurts of severe mental and emotional abuse, and dotted with occasional pushing and shoving. I was a vibrant 21 year old, self- confident, loving, caring, silly, bubbly. Fast forward six or so years... I am a little bit dark and icy.

I was raised in a peaceful and happy household, and HATE confrontation, conflict and chaos. My husband, his family, his ex wife and his two oldest kids thrive on it.

For the first few years I had grace and poise and handled everything so well.

My husband works, and brings home a steady paycheck, he fixes anything that is broke, helps clean, interacts with the kids. But also sets a horrible example by verbally abusing everyone, teasing, bullying etc.

Add in his very violent brother, his completely unstable ex wife etc etc....

Add in the 14 year old child that has had three mental hospital stays and has physically hurt two of the younger kids (my four year old has a broken collar bone right now because of him). Said 14 yr old has since moved out due to issues at school, he moved to his mothers house, but of course still visits.

My question is, even though you care about someone, and do not really want a divorce, to start all over... Break up your child's home. Is mental anguish enough to justify ending a marriage? My husband is not a horrible person, but my soul hurts daily, but perhaps I have a false sense of what marriage should be? I think marriage should be a union of two people that love, cherish and comfort each other. There is trust, respect and companionship between the two. I do not think it is healthy to fight daily or even weekly, ..

I think the point is made of the overall issues, I do not have any friends (he finds flaws in any friends I have), and I hate talking negatively to my mother, whom I am very close to, about my husband. Maybe some of you wiser, more experienced members can give some

 

[RuneBlade]

Give a casual glance before you post, perhaps. This thread was posted in 2012.

 

[surferjake]

You should also have a local group for battered women. You should seek them out. They operate anonymously, and also provide support for separation (places to stay, non traceable cell phone, support for the kids, etc).

Don't just try to do this on your own. Your parents are great support, but will not know the ins and outs that a well established group can provide.

You should call someplace as soon as you see this. If you don't, you are still trying to romanticize the situation. He is a manipulator. It's not your fault. But you know better now. Do something about it.

Thank you all very much for the encouragement. So much of the information and advice you all have share makes sense and I think the first step is confiding in my mother. She knows a lot, and my parents know there are problems, and if the oldest child did not move out, they offered me a place to stay while my son heals. Perhaps it is time that I spilled everything and let my parents be my support system.

And ejredlady... I am a romantic at heart also, and he took away my beliefs in happily ever after, true love, soulmates, but I think that deep down I still believe, so I believe regardless your age, you will find your happily ever after.

 

[LadyVer]

Try to make a nice life for yourself and your kids. This might mean being on your own. Maybe in another state. Good luck!

 

[ArthurW]

lady

You have a friend here. You must be true to yourself. We all can give you advice but it's up to you as to what happens. Be safe lady let us know what you need.

 

[andy371]

You hate confrontations and experience mental anguish daily with apparently no end in sight. You're too young to face that the rest of your life

I'm in a similar situation but I'm in my 70s. My wife and I are complete opposites but we made adjustments and accommodations along the way. I wouldn't do it again though! We had two kids which makes you think twice about divorce.

I tried to PM you but you're filled up. Good Luck

 

[YAK411976]

Just to echo another poster, this thread is over two years old. Why of why do people bring them back to life? I know I'm prolonging it but please look at the date broker you post.

 

[ArthurW]

hello lady

Your box is full.