Advice from Masters...

[Guest]

I've been talking with a few friends of mine and they reccomended doing this to clear my questions. I'm hoping i can count on your help to enlighten me on this one.

I know i have a Dom type of personality and i have a little Sub also. Because i'm 23 and i still live with my parents, the only person i have really control over is my younger sister. With a hard look, she will do what i tell her to without a question or anything. Not because i've intimidated her, but because she knows i know better. That tends to happen with a lot of people in my life already. I just want to know if i should take it to the next level (talking to my gf about having a lifestyle like this).
Now, when it comes to having subs in your life and you are responsible for them, i'd like to talk to masters about that. I'd like to clear up more doubts i have and i'd also like to hear about experiences. Are there any masters out there willing to help me out and clear up a newbie?

Thank you for your time,

David

 

[Guest]

Damn...

10 views and no reply? Come on now, y'all gotta help me out a bit. I wont nag you to death, i just need some asnwers...

 

[pellso27]

Masters

It is not something you should take lightly. I must say I did at first and now it is catching up to me! In more ways than one. But Yes I feel you are responsable for them,if they are truely your sub! You must keep in mind that they really look up to you and need your approval! The sub type can be very tender and easily hurt! emotional I mean of course! A little pain has never hurt anything! just remember you are taking on somebodys emotions when you do this stuff so just be careful!
Good luck, it can be fun!

 

[Guest]

It is not something you should take lightly. I must say I did at first and now it is catching up to me! In more ways than one. But Yes I feel you are responsable for them,if they are truely your sub! You must keep in mind that they really look up to you and need your approval! The sub type can be very tender and easily hurt! emotional I mean of course! A little pain has never hurt anything! just remember you are taking on somebodys emotions when you do this stuff so just be careful!
Good luck, it can be fun!

Ok, i understand that, but how do you decide on someone? What if you have someone you want to introduce to that lifestyle? I'm thinking of my gf. She already knows to trust me with her life and she knows i usually know better than she does, but how do i introduce her to a sub lifestyle?

Thanks for your reply, btw...

 

[Caitlynne]

You asked for advice from Dominants/Masters, and I'm not of that flavor, but if you want to introduce your girlfriend to D/s, then I suggest you.....

communicate, communicate, communicate.....

It's a lot easier to discover the truth that way.

 

[pellso27]

role play

tell her you want to role play a little start by telling her you want to spank her ass before you fuck her. Start off really easy, but just so you know Most girls like to be spanked even if they say the don't! and try watching some light bondage porn with spanking and ask her to kneel before you and suck you off that helps make her feel comfortable in a soft way!And read stories on lit about it let her read them and see if she gets hot. because if she is not into this she could be turned off all together,not good!

 

[Guest]

You asked for advice from Dominants/Masters, and I'm not of that flavor, but if you want to introduce your girlfriend to D/s, then I suggest you.....

communicate, communicate, communicate.....

It's a lot easier to discover the truth that way.

Oh, we do. Communication is very big between us. I intent to marry this girl. That's how much i like her. I've just been kinda shy about communicating this to her, because i'm not sure i want to follow this all the way... it's something that comes to me sort of instinct, but it's been many years trying to hide it from people...

 

[Guest]

tell her you want to role play a little start by telling her you want to spank her ass before you fuck her. Start off really easy, but just so you know Most girls like to be spanked even if they say the don't! and try watching some light bondage porn with spanking and ask her to kneel before you and suck you off that helps make her feel comfortable in a soft way!And read stories on lit about it let her read them and see if she gets hot. because if she is not into this she could be turned off all together,not good!

Ok, role play is a good idea. She doesnt like the spanking, because it reminds her when her parents would spank her with a studded belt as a child. The stories i never thought about that. Great idea. Oh, she already kneels when i want her to suck me off. She doesnt swallow yet, but were working on that. She used to, but this one time i came a lot and she choked on it real bad...

 

[Marquis]

Dude, I like your style.

I have two younger sisters that I was often responsible for growing up. I can see how the older brother authority could translate well into the dominant boyfriend authority, and how you one could come to crave that relationship dynamic.

I'm the same age as you, but I've been hanging at this bar long enough to know the lingo, and I might even say I know a thing or to, although I've been called "the perfect asshole" and told that I post "fun stuff".

Fire away.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Now, when it comes to having subs in your life and you are responsible for them, i'd like to talk to masters about that. I'd like to clear up more doubts i have and i'd also like to hear about experiences. Are there any masters out there willing to help me out and clear up a newbie?

Thank you for your time,

David

In my case it would depend a lot on your questions. Some things I can perhaps help with, others I may not. There are two things I recommend though, to start with:

1) Get the book "When Someone You Love Is Kinky" from Greenery Press - http://www.greenerypress.com/ and read it and incorporate some of the ideas in your discussions with her. If you think she is open-minded enough to read it on her own, let her read it then open discussions on the subject.

2) Find a local BDSM education or support group or public dungeon. Try SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html On line "advice" can only take you so far. Finding people you can interact with, learn from, watch, particpate with, talk to is incredibly important and can take you much farther than online discussion.

Hope that helps!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

..... I've been called "the perfect asshole" and told that I post "fun stuff".

Fire away.

*LOL* Marquis you aren't "the perfect asshole"... just a good one! And yes, you do post some fun stuff. *grin* Hope the studies are going well, guy!

 

[Marquis]

*LOL* Marquis you aren't "the perfect asshole"... just a good one! And yes, you do post some fun stuff. *grin* Hope the studies are going well, guy!

I guess I have much learning to do in the asshole department.

The studies are going ok. It turns out when a slave is obedient to her Master, the law calls it "Battered Woman Syndrome".

And people wonder why I feel like I gotta be the BDSM lawyer.

Just a stepping stone to being the BDSM CONGRESSMAN goddamnit!

 

[Kierae]

And people wonder why I feel like I gotta be the BDSM lawyer.

Just a stepping stone to being the BDSM CONGRESSMAN goddamnit!

Go for it!

hope things are going well,

 

[Guest]

Dude, I like your style.

I have two younger sisters that I was often responsible for growing up. I can see how the older brother authority could translate well into the dominant boyfriend authority, and how you one could come to crave that relationship dynamic.

I'm the same age as you, but I've been hanging at this bar long enough to know the lingo, and I might even say I know a thing or to, although I've been called "the perfect asshole" and told that I post "fun stuff".

Fire away.

yes, i think your order of ideas pretty much applies to me. And on top of that i have a dad that works that way too with my mom. So i guess its' only natural that i want her to obey... Right?

See, that's my thing. People perceive me as being a very nice boy and all that jazz. But they don't know about my kinky side and the things my mind is able to come up with... So, i'm here to learn the lingo and to learn how to perfect my now normal getting into kinky gf to a kinky girl. Any more ideas, tips, etc? Thanks for your help...

 

[Joe Schmoe]

I guess I have much learning to do in the asshole department.

The studies are going ok. It turns out when a slave is obedient to her Master, the law calls it "Battered Woman Syndrome".

And people wonder why I feel like I gotta be the BDSM lawyer.

Just a stepping stone to being the BDSM CONGRESSMAN goddamnit!

The lifestyle certainly could use more like you in higher places. I hope for a quick road to success for you Marquis.

 

[catalina_francisco]

The studies are going ok.

Off topic.......Hmmm, maybe I shoulda told you this earlier, but when I was studying, I came across a couple of research projects which claimed having sex while studying helped retain and comprehend the information better and longer.

Catalina

 

[catalina_francisco]

I may not be a Dominant, though I do have some experience thanks to the quirks of my Master, but seems to me you first need to decide if you want to be a Dominant, or if you just want to be seen as a leader.....or hopefully not, domineering....all 3 have different criteria, and as most know, the actively Dominant role requires a consenting, and willing submissive, not just someone you feel you would like to submit to you. It also comes down much more to headspace than actions. Spanking is fine, if you are into it and have the power behind it in the brain department. It goes without saying, theoretically anyone can spank the butt of another if that is all that is required.....that does not necessarily translate to dominance over though.

I have had the interesting experience of seeing the difference of this when I was required to top another and brought dominance into the picture as the recipient said that was what they craved and swore they had experienced before. Going by the actions I had seen evidence of him having endured, and adding the dominance with a lot of head work, it soon became obvious that though he craved it, he had never experienced it before above the shoulders. He needed a little time to chill out, but seems it was what he hoped for (even though it was a shock to his system) as he is making sure I understand he wants to continue and will make sure his hiccough does not happen again.

As others have said also, communication is one of the biggest parts of the whole D/s package, especially in the embryonic stage. First talk about what has been going through your heaad, why you think you might like to experiment, why you might find you do not want to continue or that you might want it more as an infrequent thing than a 24/7 situation...then if she responds in a favourable way in that she wants to begin the journey of discovery with you, begin looking at checklists to see what you both feel OK with initially, and make sure you are aware of the safety measures required for any activity you think of trying. Most of all, remember that any relationship needs balance in some area and usually part of that is having fun together and enjoying those things about each other that attract you in the first place. Also another thing that often is not mentioned until somone begins to have difficulties is that being Dominant does not mean you are infallible or that you always know best...quite the opposite, you are human, you can and will make mistakes, and unfortunately no-one on this planet knows everything so it just might happen there will be times when your submissive is the one with the required knowledge or best idea on how something would work best, especially when it entails their body, heart, and psych. Being Dominant in those situations is being able to incorporate and use that to the best advantage of the relationship and growth, and if you stuff up, being able to take responsibility for it and also admit it and if necessary, apologise. Hope you have fun with your adventure as it is well worth all the ups and downs you might encounter.

Catalina

 

[Marquis]

yes, i think your order of ideas pretty much applies to me. And on top of that i have a dad that works that way too with my mom. So i guess its' only natural that i want her to obey... Right?

See, that's my thing. People perceive me as being a very nice boy and all that jazz. But they don't know about my kinky side and the things my mind is able to come up with... So, i'm here to learn the lingo and to learn how to perfect my now normal getting into kinky gf to a kinky girl. Any more ideas, tips, etc? Thanks for your help...

The best advice I can give you in a few sentences is to live it, be it.

It's like when picking up a chick. Many say you should go up to her and talk to her like she's an old friend, but I always say talk to her like she's already your girlfriend. That way you give her an easy path to fall into that role if she wants it.

Same thing works with mastery. Don't think of it as converting her, but rather as giving her a chance to fall into that role. I'm a fan of giving unnecessarily complex instructions. When I'm done fucking a girl for the first time for example, I might ask her to get me a glass of water, using one of the tall glasses, four cubes of ice and 3 napkins to keep the glass from sweating on the table. If she brings you 3 ice cubes and 4 napkins, whup her ass.

Well, handle it your way, but I think you get the point.

 

[Marquis]

The lifestyle certainly could use more like you in higher places. I hope for a quick road to success for you Marquis.

Thanks for the vote of confidence and I love your av.

 

[Marquis]

Off topic.......Hmmm, maybe I shoulda told you this earlier, but when I was studying, I came across a couple of research projects which claimed having sex while studying helped retain and comprehend the information better and longer.

Catalina

Is there nothing sex won't do? I'll have to form a little "study group" based on that theory.

 

[RJMasters]

......

 

[Marquis]

Woah! RJ sighting!

 

[RJMasters]

......

 

[Sheaf_Beast]

Ok, i understand that, but how do you decide on someone? What if you have someone you want to introduce to that lifestyle? I'm thinking of my gf. She already knows to trust me with her life and she knows i usually know better than she does, but how do i introduce her to a sub lifestyle?

Thanks for your reply, btw...

Have you thought of taking her to a public dungeon? There are lots of people she and you could observe as well as get to know. Ask the DM if the dungeon offers sub classes.

 

[catalina_francisco]

lol hey Marquis. Good to see your still here and a moderator ta booot. CG on that.

LOL, did I pick good mod or what?!! Welcome back to the forum, as with many others, you have been missed.

Catalina