Adopt a Semen Program

[luvthedesserts]

Feeling lonely? Need a companion? Maybe a lovely glaze for your Thanksgiving Turkey? Here at the Adopt a Semen Program, we find suitable companions to take some of life’s stresses off you for only pennies a day. Once you sign up, expect some lovely pictures of young semen as they grow and develop into fledgling squiggly pre-zygotic citizens. From time to time, you’ll even receive some very enthusiastic updates in written form thanking you for your support and asking you to do all you can to help other semen come into your world. It really is just pennies a day. What do you have to lose?


Disclaimer: This thread is not responsible for unruly unwanted and unsolicited PM’s which may or may not find their way into your inboxes.

 

[Pinktacokitty]

 

[luvthedesserts]

Every semen has the potential to be perfect. Then they're born male.

 

[dutchrain]

Now why do I suddenly have a Monty Python's song playing in my head?

"Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate."

tatadam ta ta dam tatadam ta dam ... *will be humming until the morning*

 

[Pinktacokitty]

 

[annanova]

Now why do I suddenly have a Monty Python's song playing in my head?

"Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate."

tatadam ta ta dam tatadam ta dam ... *will be humming until the morning*

Oh dear, and with the voices of all those children! I'm hearing it too.

LOL!! Yeah, they just don't have the necessary stamina, do they.

 

[Indienne]

 

[luvthedesserts]

Ironically, that's all I take too.

 

[Indienne]

Ironically, that's all I take too.

Do you how much competition you have?

 

[luvthedesserts]

I'm pretty sure I'm in a class of my own. The never ever in a million years class. I was held back.

 

[Indienne]

I'm pretty sure I'm in a class of my own. The never ever in a million years class. I was held back.

It isn't an easy class to be honest.

 

[luvthedesserts]

So what you're saying is, I'm a winner. I knew I'd win at something.

 

[subdued_passion]

Ok, so I'm here to help out the poor semen. But, mind you I can afford to adopt only one. So, where do I gotta sign and what not, and will I get a T-shirt or somethin'.

 

[luvthedesserts]

Ok, so I'm here to help out the poor semen. But, mind you I can afford to adopt only one. So, where do I gotta sign and what not, and will I get a T-shirt or somethin'.

Don't worry. Once you've posted you're in the market for a little spermie of your own, the PM's will come all hot and gooey.

 

[subdued_passion]

Don't worry. Once you've posted you're in the market for a little spermie of your own, the PM's will come all hot and gooey.

No no no.... I don't like my semen hot or gooey. Why don't I get to choose who I'm adoptin here?

 

[luvthedesserts]

No no no.... I don't like my semen hot or gooey. Why don't I get to choose who I'm adoptin here?

It's a first cum first served sort of program.

 

[subdued_passion]

It's a first cum first served sort of program.

I'm not into that early bird shit... never liked worms much.

Now you get me some ice cold spermies like I'm telling you to.

 

[luvthedesserts]

I'm not into that early bird shit... never liked worms much.

Now you get me some ice cold spermies like I'm telling you to.

I guess I could put a sock in the freezer and ship it to you overnight.

 

[subdued_passion]

I guess I could put a sock in the freezer

Won't that be genocide?

 

[luvthedesserts]

Won't that be genocide?

They don't die. They just put scarves and booties on. Pop them in a microwave and they'll bounce right back.

 

[subdued_passion]

They don't die. They just put scarves and booties on. Pop them in a microwave and they'll bounce right back.

 

[luvthedesserts]

I was going with speechless, but then I saw the mouth open on your eek. Ingesting them really limits their life expectancy.

 

[subdued_passion]

I was going with speechless, but then I saw the mouth open on your eek. Ingesting them really limits their life expectancy.

I heard (a couple of posts ago) that it just increases the distance of the journey.

 

[luvthedesserts]

I heard (a couple of posts ago) that it just increases the distance of the journey.

Yes, but if they're all male, they'll never stop to ask for directions. I've heard rumors that's what those little floaties in the eye are.

 

[subdued_passion]

Yes, but if they're all male, they'll never stop to ask for directions. I've heard rumors that's what those little floaties in the eye are.

As long as they don't settle on my butt- I've heard that's what stretchmarks are.