Abs for Popess
- Thread starter shereads
- Start date
Virtual_Burlesque
Former Ecdysiast
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2004
- Posts
- 4,083
Exactly what the world needs . . . a Bohemian Popess! 
G
Guest
Guest
Oh...i think they have adapters for conversions in Europe...shereads said:
assuming you mean AC/DC...but if not, there are a wide variety of strap ons available...
also, i believe she was brought up catholic?
impressive
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2003
- Posts
- 27,372
Can you just imagine a woman pope? I think things would change dramatically in the RCC. 
rgraham666
Literotica Guru
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- Feb 19, 2004
- Posts
- 43,689
Can I be her 'Executive Assistant'?
I promise not leave any incriminating stains behind.
I promise not leave any incriminating stains behind.
lucky-E-leven
Aphrodisiaddict
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2004
- Posts
- 17,241
Abs for Pope is a great idea.
Only problem is, whether or not the Popemobile is a Chevrolet or not.
At least we'd never have to worry about her tolerating any touching of little boys. She's rather ruthless about such things, and I like that about her.
~lucky
Only problem is, whether or not the Popemobile is a Chevrolet or not.
At least we'd never have to worry about her tolerating any touching of little boys. She's rather ruthless about such things, and I like that about her.
~lucky
G
Guest
Guest
Abs would make a crap Pope... White doesn't suit her.
ABSTRUSE
Cirque du Freak
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2003
- Posts
- 50,094
What a beautiful thread to wake up to, thank you Sher...making sign of the cross in your general direction.
If I'm elected Popess(ette), there will be many changes in the Catholic church.
1. Priests will be allowed to marry. I always thought that ridiculous that they couldn't, maybe then they'll be less likely to be....well, you know. However they can only marry nuns.
2. Nuns will look like nuns, they will wear the uniform, if you're gonna marry God, dress the part. They will do nunlike things and not be allowed to teach due to the large amount of emotional scarring they have inflicted on many people over the years. (Ha, all you bitch nuns in the IHM aren't so smug now, are you? Should have been nicer to me in college.)
3. The above mentioned will only drive economy cars with no less than 90,000 miles on them. There will be no such thing as poor/rich parishes, all churches will be able to function properly. Any renovations or decorations must be approved by me, the Pope.
4. There will be no Don't ask don't tell policy...all are welcome...God is Love.
5. All other religions will only be made fun of in private and possibly on Catholic run television stations in the form of a sitcom.
6. As Lucky pointed out, I do not tolerate what has been going on and all perpetrators of such horrors will be dealt with severely...and inquisition style.
7. The Pope mobile will be re-vamped on a special Papal edition of "Pimp my Ride". It will be a black Caddilac Escalade, lifted, shaved with a kick ass stereo system and mini-bar. Airbrushing will consist of a my likeness emblazened on the hood with the words...."Abs the first is watchin y'all"
8. Men will no longer make any decisions in the church, they fucked up for too many centuries now. My gang will consist of hand picked officials, (Rg will get his position as asked, I need him there so I can lean over and ask...What the fuck are they talking about?")
9. Queer eye for the Vatican will make over the cathedrals making them more people friendly. I love purple, you'll see a lot of it.
10. Buddy Christ will replace the old barbaric Jesus on the Cross...we need a happy church (note: send check to Kevin Smith for use of Buddy Christ image)
11. All Literoticans will be absolved from any prior sinning and continue to write as they wish...the human body is a beautiful thing and sex is healthy.
12. The church will take a very active stand on AIDS, starvation, torture, and any other abomination that is going on in the world. I'm not kidding folks, don't make me come after your countries.
13. I will not hobnob with celebrities like Paris Hilton or any heads of government...they bore me. However Cirque de Soliel willl perform at my whim...as will Duran Duran and Blondie.
14. All unemployed Literoticans will have work with the church through mass media and missionary work. Sign up sheets will be made available.
15. Chicken ala King and tatertots will no longer be served in the Vatican cafeteria.
16. Papal internet cafe franchises will be available, call for details.
17. All sugestions for improvement will be scrutinized by my staff and a reply will be issued in a proper time and manner.
18. My birthday will be an International Holiday (paid of course).
19. Shereads will be appointed official Vatican Pollster. Results will be posted on the website. www.AbsisFabs/vatican/.com
20. The official Vatican Volley ball team tryouts will be held in May, sign up now. All other extrapapal activities will be posted in the newsletter. T-shirts and mugs will be available soon.
If you are coming to my swearing in service or just want to be one of the crowd, giant foam fingers will be made available with my likeness on one side and "God bless the Popess on the other side. Get em while they last.
I promise to make the church better, stronger and less political. It will be user friendly. Tickets for my world tour will be very reasonable.
Bless you all,
Abs the First, Popess and all around nice lady.
added: I can kick any cardinals ass in a wrestling match.
If I'm elected Popess(ette), there will be many changes in the Catholic church.
1. Priests will be allowed to marry. I always thought that ridiculous that they couldn't, maybe then they'll be less likely to be....well, you know. However they can only marry nuns.
2. Nuns will look like nuns, they will wear the uniform, if you're gonna marry God, dress the part. They will do nunlike things and not be allowed to teach due to the large amount of emotional scarring they have inflicted on many people over the years. (Ha, all you bitch nuns in the IHM aren't so smug now, are you? Should have been nicer to me in college.)
3. The above mentioned will only drive economy cars with no less than 90,000 miles on them. There will be no such thing as poor/rich parishes, all churches will be able to function properly. Any renovations or decorations must be approved by me, the Pope.
4. There will be no Don't ask don't tell policy...all are welcome...God is Love.
5. All other religions will only be made fun of in private and possibly on Catholic run television stations in the form of a sitcom.
6. As Lucky pointed out, I do not tolerate what has been going on and all perpetrators of such horrors will be dealt with severely...and inquisition style.
7. The Pope mobile will be re-vamped on a special Papal edition of "Pimp my Ride". It will be a black Caddilac Escalade, lifted, shaved with a kick ass stereo system and mini-bar. Airbrushing will consist of a my likeness emblazened on the hood with the words...."Abs the first is watchin y'all"
8. Men will no longer make any decisions in the church, they fucked up for too many centuries now. My gang will consist of hand picked officials, (Rg will get his position as asked, I need him there so I can lean over and ask...What the fuck are they talking about?")
9. Queer eye for the Vatican will make over the cathedrals making them more people friendly. I love purple, you'll see a lot of it.
10. Buddy Christ will replace the old barbaric Jesus on the Cross...we need a happy church (note: send check to Kevin Smith for use of Buddy Christ image)
11. All Literoticans will be absolved from any prior sinning and continue to write as they wish...the human body is a beautiful thing and sex is healthy.
12. The church will take a very active stand on AIDS, starvation, torture, and any other abomination that is going on in the world. I'm not kidding folks, don't make me come after your countries.
13. I will not hobnob with celebrities like Paris Hilton or any heads of government...they bore me. However Cirque de Soliel willl perform at my whim...as will Duran Duran and Blondie.
14. All unemployed Literoticans will have work with the church through mass media and missionary work. Sign up sheets will be made available.
15. Chicken ala King and tatertots will no longer be served in the Vatican cafeteria.
16. Papal internet cafe franchises will be available, call for details.
17. All sugestions for improvement will be scrutinized by my staff and a reply will be issued in a proper time and manner.
18. My birthday will be an International Holiday (paid of course).
19. Shereads will be appointed official Vatican Pollster. Results will be posted on the website. www.AbsisFabs/vatican/.com
20. The official Vatican Volley ball team tryouts will be held in May, sign up now. All other extrapapal activities will be posted in the newsletter. T-shirts and mugs will be available soon.
If you are coming to my swearing in service or just want to be one of the crowd, giant foam fingers will be made available with my likeness on one side and "God bless the Popess on the other side. Get em while they last.
I promise to make the church better, stronger and less political. It will be user friendly. Tickets for my world tour will be very reasonable.
Bless you all,
Abs the First, Popess and all around nice lady.
added: I can kick any cardinals ass in a wrestling match.
Last edited:
cheerful_deviant
Head of the Flock
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2004
- Posts
- 10,487
I want a job to. Preferablly something that pays well, has no responsibility, no stress and lots of travel. Oh, and a good health plan. Got anything like that?
Ooo... maybe I can drive the Popemoblie.
Ooo... maybe I can drive the Popemoblie.
Rumple Foreskin
The AH Patriarch
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2002
- Posts
- 11,109
On a more prosaic note, if Abs does deign to become ABSTRUSE I, then I suggest a budget item be added for the addition of a vast multitude of LADIES rooms in the VC.
note: No, you don't want to just take over some of the existing MENS facilities, trust me.
Rumple Foreskin
ps: If Abs is so inclined to utilize the services of a backsliding Baptist, then I'd like to apply for duty in the Spanish Inquisition (I look great in red) and be placed in-charge of the comfy chair. rf
http://people.csail.mit.edu/people/paulfitz/spanish/tt13.jpg
Of course, I would need a hard-working Sister for an assistant.
http://www.geocities.com/gencon_nun/NaughtyNun.jpg
note: No, you don't want to just take over some of the existing MENS facilities, trust me.
Rumple Foreskin
ps: If Abs is so inclined to utilize the services of a backsliding Baptist, then I'd like to apply for duty in the Spanish Inquisition (I look great in red) and be placed in-charge of the comfy chair. rf
http://people.csail.mit.edu/people/paulfitz/spanish/tt13.jpg
Of course, I would need a hard-working Sister for an assistant.
http://www.geocities.com/gencon_nun/NaughtyNun.jpg
Last edited:
dreampilot79
Thanks to Rhino for da AV
- Joined
- Mar 24, 2004
- Posts
- 2,949
ABS....
Head of security.. Head of mass media...
I don't want a job.. but I wouldn't mind a little head!!!!!!
Head of security.. Head of mass media...
I don't want a job.. but I wouldn't mind a little head!!!!!!
Halo_n_horns
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2005
- Posts
- 3,535
"Clintonesque"? The Pope would have his own "Monica Lewinski-esque" assistant?
