About ready to admit defeat.

[jennytwoshoes]

I've been seeing this girl for a bit. I'm the first girl she's ever been with, and that's making her a bit ... repressed, I think. She tells me she doesn't have any problem orgasming with a guy, but no matter what I do - and believe me, that's been quite a bit - nothing seems to work. Doesn't matter how slow and tender, or how rough and animalistic, I can never get her to peak.

I'm trying not to communicate my frustration, but she may very well sense it. I really don't want her to feel annoyed with me (or worse, herself) about this. I guess I'm just feeling a bit useless; I'm normally so confident, so sure of what to do, that it's irksome.

Any advice?

 

[photobuff56]

I've been seeing this girl for a bit. I'm the first girl she's ever been with, and that's making her a bit ... repressed, I think. She tells me she doesn't have any problem orgasming with a guy, but no matter what I do - and believe me, that's been quite a bit - nothing seems to work. Doesn't matter how slow and tender, or how rough and animalistic, I can never get her to peak.

I'm trying not to communicate my frustration, but she may very well sense it. I really don't want her to feel annoyed with me (or worse, herself) about this. I guess I'm just feeling a bit useless; I'm normally so confident, so sure of what to do, that it's irksome.

Any advice?

It may very well shes holding her feelings in and cant seem to let them go. Maybe shes not ready or mentally unwilling to let go. Have you tried using toys on her. Maybe a little drink to take the edge off of her nerves.

 

[jennytwoshoes]

It may very well shes holding her feelings in and cant seem to let them go. Maybe shes not ready or mentally unwilling to let go. Have you tried using toys on her. Maybe a little drink to take the edge off of her nerves.

Yup. Tried everything; loosening her up with drink, marijuana, sensual massages ...

 

[photobuff56]

Maybe time to say goodbye and good luck with your endeavors.

 

[Desperado1775]

How much does she mean to you

Well I actually have experienced this twice, the second time with my wife. Both instances this no orgasm problem was a result of previous abuse. So you can just say goodbye but if you have feelings for her, obvioulsy you cant just let her go. Sounds like you have tried a lot of things, but what you need to do is get her to put those feelings behind her. Very hard to do. Have to try to get her to open up to you or a professional. Another technique that has helped is being intimate and dont get into sex. Hard to do if you want to orgasm yourself. Have to take care of that yourself. Tough choice my friend.

 

[Stella_Omega]

This is kind of a wildass theory, but... It could be she needs male pheromones to trigger her orgasm.

This might change, according to the theory, as she grows older.

 

[jennytwoshoes]

Thanks for the advice, all. Like I said, I think she senses my frustration, so rather then letting it hit some kind of tipping point, I'm going to try and talk to her about it tonight. I don't think she's ever been abused or anything - certainly, she's never told me - although, of course, she's had some crappy experiences with guys.

This is kind of a wildass theory, but... It could be she needs male pheromones to trigger her orgasm.

This might change, according to the theory, as she grows older.

I've never heard of this theory before, but it sounds like it could be worth researching.

 

[MissMich]

Communication is key. If she can't orgasm because of a mental block, then you need to talk things through and figure out what it is. Being able to achieve orgasm is just as much about state of mind as it is the physical, sometimes more so. And if it is physical, you need to talk to her about what gets her off. How does she orgasm when she masturbates? How did she orgasm when she was with men before? What things do you do that get her the closest to orgasm? Those are all things you can discuss with each other. Consider using toys or other aids in bed if necessary. (And if not necessary, try anyway, cause they're fun.)

And this might seem counter-intuitive, but if all else fails, stop trying to make her cum. Just take orgasms off the table completely and mess around for the fun of it. Get playful and creative. A lot of the time, the stress of being pressured to reach orgasm can stop someone from being able to. If you can make it clear to her that achieving orgasm is not the goal and just focus on pleasuring each other, orgasms may just end up being a happy side effect.

(And no, pheromones are not the culprit.)