A Writing Experiment

[MissTaken]

Where is tyswk?

Just bumping and hoping there is more to come.

In the event that our t is too busy, I will give it a try.



try this:

Who was your first love?
Are they still with you?
How did they impact your life?
And your last love?
Is it true that there is to be only one great love in our lives?


I am in the mood for love stories, all!

 

[tswyk]

Excellent, Miss T!!!! Sorry, but with all the s..t going on this weekend, I just took a break.

Thanks for stepping up to the plate - I'll post a response this evening - the salt mines calleth!!!!!

 

[theGatsby]

My first love was a wonderful girl who was a year ahead of me in highschool. What I remember most fondly about her, was her smile. She had a broad smile that would light up the room. As it turned out we really had very little in common, our likes and dislikes seemed to be opposites, but there was passion. Well as much passion as a couple teenagers can manage anyway. Shortly before she graduated we were at a all weekend party at a friends house. I woke up on a cold Sunday morning without her beside me, as I recalled I had passed out earlier. I found her on the back porch in the hammock wrapped in a blanket with my best friend. Enough body parts were exposed to clue me to a lack of any clothing on either person. Needless to say we went our seperate ways after that. I've not heard from her or even of her since her graduation. Her lasting impact on me? We took each others viginity (hers at 16 I was 15). Can there be more impact?

My last love? My last love I completely fucked up all on my own. But from my mistakes I learn a higher truth. My truth. With any luck she will see it in her heart to continue to be my friend. So far the indication is such. Her great and open mind endears me so.

Is there one great love? The truth that gnaws at my gut tells me that there may actually be one great love. It gnaws at my gut with fear, fear that there is only one great love and that I will never find her, or I have found her and lost her. One thing I have learned recently is that until I can be honest with myself and know who I am, then it'll be difficult to impossible to recognize that great love should it come along. It's funny how fate doesn't necessarily care about that shit.

I do know that I like my eggs over-easy though.

 

[tswyk]

Who was your first love?
Are they still with you?
How did they impact your life?
And your last love?
Is it true that there is to be only one great love in our lives?

Thanks, Miss T. I'm posting from the office - just really wanted to jump in on this one!

First love? That's hard. My first kiss was JMB - he had a little motorcycle and after church on Sundays, we take it out for a ride - my Dad had one, too, so we'd all ride together. I was only 12 and he was 15, but a very nice boy. We used to go to a local lake in the summer, and it was there, in the deep water, hidden from my mother by a pier, that I was first kissed. I was terribly nervous, but remember it as sweet and tender. There were afternoons when he'd come by our garden to help pick peas so that I could finish up early enough for us to be together. I'm not sure what happened - I don't remember anything bad, or any bad feelings. I guess it just faded.

I lost my virginity to RKW on...get this...senior prom night! GOD! What a southern belle! It was quick and exciting, and led to an even more exciting summer...hot sex in the front seat of a 1974 Celica gets pretty slippery! We married that September - yes, I was only 18 and gave up an art scholorhip to college, but it only lasted a year. We used to meet up every Christmas when we were back in town - my family thought it was crazy that we still "liked" each other - they always wanted to assume that we were getting back together. But we were just driving around smoking pot and drinking beer - laughing at life. I last spoke to him about 5 years ago - he's married and living on the Gulf Coast with a young daughter. Life goes on.

Great loves? Yes, they happen. And, no, I don't believe there is just one in our lifetimes. I'd say in the last 20 years there have been 3 in my life - all special, all important in shaping who I am today. Broken hearts? YES. Worth it. TOTALLY. I'm of the opinion that not all relationships are meant to be "forever". They all have their time and place. I try to take the good parts and hang on to those, along with the lessons learned.

I'm smack dab in the middle of #3 right now. Is it easy? Not always. Being 1100 miles apart is hard. Dealing with changing lives is hard. Trying to fit all the pieces together of 2 separate lives of 40+ years is a daily struggle. But I know that this I where I'm supposed to be right now. I KNOW this - down to my bones. Will it be "forever"? I hope so, but there are no promises, no guarentees. There never are - only hopes and dreams and wishes and prayers. And still we muddle though, right?

Be brave, be strong, be true to yourself - live every day to the fullest. Take the good when it comes your way, and wade through the bad to the other side. Accept the help of those who offer and shrug off those who would hold you back.

You only live once - do it well, do it fully, do it with your own style.

 

[teddybear4play]

Re: Where is tyswk?

Who was your first love?
Are they still with you?
How did they impact your life?
And your last love?
Is it true that there is to be only one great love in our lives?

I had a couple unrequited crushes in school. In junior high, I went to sports events I didn't really care about just so I could watch the head cheerleader, who, so far as I was concerned, permanently lived in my head and just took excursions out to reality. I think she realized my little fantasies, because she regularly indulged them by casually flirting with me. Eventually I realized that since I was shy, lonely, and dorky, I had absolutely no way to compete with the other guys she went out with.

When I was 13 and a really young freshman, I had a schoolboy crush on the homecoming queen. I was smarter, though, and didn't let on too much how much I liked her and realized that it wasn't going anywhere.

The one serious relationship I had I thought was love was really lust and need masquerading as love. I still talk to her occasionally, but I wonder why I ever fell so hard for her. It did impact me, though. Since she was the first woman to ever reciprocate my feelings, I really needed it to know that I ever could have a relationship. If not for her, I'd still be a lonely, dorky, gawky, 22-year old virgin instead of just the first three.

As for the last question, I have no idea. I'm just on the lookout for the one person that makes me feel like she's the only one in the world for me. Whether she is or not is inconsequential to me.

TB4p

 

[tswyk]

Re: Where is MissTaken?

Just bumping and hoping there is more to come.

In the event that our t is too busy, I will give it a try.



try this:

Who was your first love?
Are they still with you?
How did they impact your life?
And your last love?
Is it true that there is to be only one great love in our lives?


I am in the mood for love stories, all!

MISS T!!!!


If you pose a question - you must post a response to said question!!!!

We're waiting.......

 

[tswyk]

*bump* for Miss T's questions......

 

[eastTNbbw]

My first true love was in my mid 20's and it was a guy that worked for the same company but unfortunately instead of being in the VA office, he was in the OH office. His dad however worked in the same office that I did so Steve would come to VA on summer breaks from Ohio State. We truly learned to love one another because of the distance. We knew everything about one another and could easily read one another's minds, finish one another's sentences, and just enjoy even the quiet times. We planned to be married in June after he finished graduate school. He already had a job lined up at NASA not too far from where I was brought up. On his way back to OH from visiting me, he was killed by a drunk driver. It was hard to deal with but life goes on....

It was a long time before I would open myself up to anyone else and take a chance again. There have been 2 other men that I have loved since then. One is my best friend. We recognized the ways we didn't click but the common bonds between us are very strong. He challenges me, supports me, laughs with me (and at me), and is there when I need a shoulder to cry on too. We both cherish our friendship and have even discussed what might happen when/if either of us finds someone else.

My last love is still around. And there are days when my feelings are just as strong as ever for him. We keep in touch frequently. But I made the mistake (at least in this case) of falling for someone who was separated and not sure if he wanted to actually end his marriage. He and his wife are still trying to decide that one.

Is there just one true love in a lifetime? Lord I do hope not!!! I hope that I can take the things I have learned from each of my relationships to carry into a new one some day....one that may last a lifetime or may just last a while. I also hope that as time passes, I can learn to overcome any doubts and hurts that may remain from those relationships. As with everything, time will tell.

 

[Wiggles]

Re: Round IV

Where do you go to be alone?
What usually drives you to need to be alone?
What do have/take with you - music, pad and pen, Bible, what?

If I don't spend a certain amount of time away from other people I'd go crazy. I'm not the most social person, and it takes a lot of energy for me to put out that friendly, engaging side of myself.

When I need to be by myself, I'm usually in my apartment. If my roomate's home I'll go in the other room. He doesn't bother me much. :0D

I just do whatever, usually the Pc, tv, or playstation2. I used to go sit on the roof of my car and watch stars, around here though that'd be sort of weird. I also used to listen to cd's and draw or write poems.

 

[Wiggles]

Re: Round V

How old were you when you learned to drive?
Who taught you?
Did you have your own car as a teenager?
What kind was it?
How much did it cost?
Did you earn the money to pay for it?
How often were you allowed to drive it?
Tell us about any "fender-benders" you may have been involved in as a teenager/young adult.

I was sixteen when I learned to drive, my aunt and step dad taught me the basics. My driving instructor actually had the balls to teach me to put the basics to use.

I had a 92' toyota, red (Judy). I bought it off my grandma for a thousand, but I didn't pay for it, really. One of those family deals.

When I had my license the car was mine. I was allowed to drive it until I had to come home. I didn't have a curfew, but I set my own.

Eh, fender benders? I've only been in three minor accident-type things. :0D One was backing out of a drive way and into someone's mailbox... I ran. The second was pulling out of my driveway, somehow I nipped the side of a truck moving by. The third was when one of my good friends backed into me pulling out of the highschool parking lot. She claimed I reversed too quickly, so she didn't see the big ol red side of my car behind her.

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Where is MissTaken?

MISS T!!!!


If you pose a question - you must post a response to said question!!!!

We're waiting.......

Okay, Okay, Okay!

I am not sure that I can add a lot to the thread as I often question what love really is. What does it really mean and how does it feel? How does one know?

I remember my first love, though. I was in college. He was a musician from Long Island. He was of scottish decent, had auburn hair and even played the bagpipes, from time to time.

We complimented one another well, but he was also a chronic alcoholic. His drinking was what kept us from ever making a life together.

Throughout the five years we were together, he showed me a freedom of spirit, an ability to have fun and find my childhood again. We wrote songs together, made snowmen in blizzards, drank wine while playing a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit or reading poetry. There was lots of good stuff.

Then, his drinking. Whenever he quit, he thanked me and in my naivete, I thought it was supposed to be that way,. Of course, he never really quit when with me as I was an enabler and he didn't or couldn't do it for himself.

I wonder where he is now, if he is performing still or is tending bar in some dingy NE tavern. Maybe he found a new path that was healthy or maybe he has died.

I don't know, but do remember the beauty of his spirit and how he loved me.

Now, I don't know if there has been a love since then. It wasn't my ex husband. I thought it was my now ex boyfriend, or maybe I have found it without seeing it.

Who knows?

 

[tswyk]

Thank you, ladies!!!!

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, ladies!!!!

Your turn to pose a question, tswyk!

 

[tswyk]

Ok...


Tell us about your experience with a major event, such as the death of MLK or JFK or Elvis or John Lennon - or the first man on the moon, or the Challenger explosion, or the OKC bombing.

Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

 

[Wiggles]

Tell us about your experience with a major event, such as the death of MLK or JFK or Elvis or John Lennon - or the first man on the moon, or the Challenger explosion, or the OKC bombing.

Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

The major event that comes to my mind is the Twin Tower's bombing. The first I heard of it was when I arrived at work. I was going out to do business with one of the ladies, and she told me first. We wound up still going out, and doing the business thing, even though it didn't feel right.

I remember driving in between places listening to all the news on the radio... the National Anthem... update reports. I remember feeling so out of place on that bright sunny morning. I envisioned bombs falling out of the sky, waves of gas filtering through the city, jets flying above my head.

I do hide my feelings, very well. I didn't cry until that night when I was home. It frightened me to death and it broke my heart.

Life is very precious, and not everything makes sense.

 

[Ishmael]

Ok...


Tell us about your experience with a major event, such as the death of MLK or JFK or Elvis or John Lennon - or the first man on the moon, or the Challenger explosion, or the OKC bombing.

Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

There were three deaths and one near death that had a profound effect on my life.

The near death was my own. Three days of it in a dirty little country. I don't talk about it though. Not even with those that were there with me.

The first death was my Aunt Dee Dee. I was 5 years old and I loved her dearly. She taught first grade at a local school and every once in a while I would spend the day with her in the class with the big kids. I learned to tie my shoes from her. I got a head start on reading and writing as well. I remember the funeral. All the adults walking around, Dee Dee in the casket. The adults saying "Doesn't she look just like when she was alive?" I held my tongue but I wanted to scream "No she doesn't! Look! Look at her. She looks DEAD!"

The next death was an unknown man in that same dirty little country. I don't talk about that either.

The last death was that of my younger brother. 3AM New Years day 1994. Too young, to promising. I still have a hard time making it through New Years.

Events?

JFK's assasination. I was in the field in the Army at the time. Everything came to a dead standstill.

The moon landing. I was in Minnesota staying with a girl that I was in a LDR with at the time. What a monumental moment in time. The first step to the stars. And all the let down since then. I wonder when we'll go back? We couldn't today if we wanted to.

Challenger. I had just finished breakfast at a little local restaraunt. I was on my way to the airport to fly to Detroit for a series of presentations over the next two days. I stepped outside to watch the launch. (I live about 17 miles from the Cape.) You knew by watching. Didn't need to here the commentary at all. You just knew. The trip was a waste. Everyone was in a funk.

But probably the most significant event in my life was Sputnik. I was 12 years old and the stars were mine.

Ishmael

 

[MissTaken]

Ok...


Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

I have started a reply three or four times, tswyk.

I can't do it.

 

[tswyk]

Thank you all...I need to do mine, too, but am just not in the mood.

Good Nite.

 

[teddybear4play]

Tell us about your experience with a major event, such as the death of MLK or JFK or Elvis or John Lennon - or the first man on the moon, or the Challenger explosion, or the OKC bombing.

Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

I was five when the Challenger disaster happened. I remember it being a big thing at school.

My mom woke me up to watch Tiananmen Square and the Berlin Wall in '89. I didn't understand it at the time, but I'm glad she did all the same.

I was home sick on the day of the Oklahoma City bombing. The last time I was sick was the day of the Northridge quake in '94. I had pretty good attendance. I began to think I should not be sick at all.

I slept until 11 am on September 11, 2001. My stepmom rousted me out of my slumber by saying it was World War III and that the WTC and Pentagon were destroyed. It remember flipping through each channel of my TV -- it was all the same. I didn't really break down until a hastily arranged outdoor community memorial service. It drew 7000 people. On the way home, I waited 45 minutes to fill my tank with gas that cost $1.99/gal. Everybody thought there would be a crunch.

The thing that affected me most, though, was my parents' separation and divorce. I've written here about that subject before, so I won't rehash it all, but suffice it to say it makes my life dramatically different from most of the other people I know that haven't gone through it. It's altered every perception I have about adult relationships: trust, intimacy, security, confidence, everything.

TB4p

 

[tswyk]

The thing that affected me most, though, was my parents' separation and divorce. I've written here about that subject before, so I won't rehash it all, but suffice it to say it makes my life dramatically different from most of the other people I know that haven't gone through it. It's altered every perception I have about adult relationships: trust, intimacy, security, confidence, everything.

TB4p

Thanks, TB4p - thanks for sharing.


I'll be on the road most of today, so you guys probably won't hear from me until late tomorrow.


Hugs to all...


t

 

[tswyk]

Tell us about your experience with a major event, such as the death of MLK or JFK or Elvis or John Lennon - or the first man on the moon, or the Challenger explosion, or the OKC bombing.

Or, if there was some personal experience that has shaped you - changed your life in some way - share that with us.

Where were you?
How did you find out?
How did it make you feel?
Did you express your feelings, or hide them?
How did it change your outlook on life?

I remember being in the back seat of our baby blue station wagon when I heard about the death of Elvis. My mother was devasted. I knew who he was, of course, and enjoyed his music, but wasn't hit by this nearly as hard as Mother. She just cried and cried.

I was working at a resturant/bar in Memphis when Challenger exploded. It was just before opening and the TVs were on while we were setting up the tables. I remember the shocked silence that took hold of the bar as we came to realize what had happened. Over and over and over they showed that explosion - I can still see it in my head. Several of us cried - shook by the realization that a school teacher - a regular person - just like us - was onboard. It still haunts me.

I can't really talk about 911 - it's too soon, too raw. The terror of not knowing where friends and family of friends are...that horrible "if"...it's just too much to relive.

On a more personal note, the last time I saw my uncle comes to mind. He had been diagnosed with brain cancer just weeks before. I was in town the day he had surgery - not life saving surgery, just something to make him more comfortable, maybe give him a few extra weeks at best. I left the hospital that day on my way to Florida for a week of work. During that week, most of the news I received was not good. He couldn't talk. He couldn't swallow. His vison was blurred. But over the next few days, he managed to overcome these symptoms, and by the time I was heading back home, he was much better.

I stopped by the hospital that Monday afternoon to visit. I was shocked to see him walking around his room - dressed - and his old chipper self! We talked and laughed for a good 30 minutes. He was being released the next morning at 10am to a rehab center - and had been told by the doctor that he might even live for a year. I hugged him goodbye and practically danced back to my car.

Two hours later I received the call that he had gone into some kind of shock. He had a massive brain infection and, to relieve the horrible pain, they sedated him. He never woke up again. I was the last family member to see him before the attack and he died early the following Friday morning.

I'm so glad I got to see him that last time - see him the way I always think of him - funny, happy, goofy Uncle B. I have a favorite pic of him that I'd love to post, but won't. It clearly shows the joy he experienced in life - the love he felt for everything. Thinking back, I see that he was almost always happy, always helpful, and probably the kindest person I've ever known.

He was only 62.

I miss him.

 

[tswyk]

What was your favorite childhood toy?
Do you still have it?
Why was it special to you?
What events cause you to remember it?

 

[tswyk]

I should be in bed, but....

I have memories of many toys, but only one that I still have - a "Chatty Cathy" doll with red hair. I loved that doll, and my sister has a blonde one. Several years ago we were together out of town and bought matching outfits for our dolls, complete with little hats...aren't we silly?

One of my little friends comes over to stay every so often and loves to go upstairs to the guest room and get "her" doll. She knows that the doll "lives with Tippy", but always wants to drag her around when she's at my house.

I remember my skates - the adjustable kind that you wore over your tennis shoes - I loved to skate! One Christmas we got "dress up" clothes - "ball" dresses and little "fur" stoles - and I remember wearing mine WITH MY SKATES out in the street in front of our house.

Ok, so I wasn't as stylish then as I am now....


but I was probably much cuter!

 

[Ishmael]

What was your favorite childhood toy?
Do you still have it?
Why was it special to you?
What events cause you to remember it?

The first childhood toy that I really remember and that really made an impresion on me was an electric train. Not a Lionel three rail job, but an American Flyer in 'S' gauge. The engine was a 2-4-0 switcher that smoked if you put these little pellets in the smoke stack. There was the coal tender of course and a box car, a flat car with a search light on it that actually worked, a coal hopper, and the caboose (with lights).

"Santa" had built an oval track on a 4x8 sheet of plywood painted green. I woke up Christmas morning , came downstairs, and there it was. The Christmas tree had been moved to the middle of the train board by "Santa" and his helpers. I watched that damn train go around for hours. There was no moving me. I tried to refuse to leave to go to Christmas dinner with the relatives. I lost that argument, can't throw your weight around when you're four year old.

I kept that train set for years. Everything finally broke down on it. First the tansformer in the controller, then the engine itself. But I still held on to it. Other toys replaced that train over the years. But I still set it up every Christmas until it finally quit running at all.

I learned a lot from that train set. About electricity, mechanics, and the tools required to keep the damn thing running long past the time it should have died. I eventually added switches and signal lights and all that other paraphenalia to keep it interesting. But it was still that same old engine.

With all of the moving that I had done in my life it was the one constant. No matter where we were, no matter who the acquaitances that train was a constant. It may sound silly, but there was only one other toy that made a difference in my life. And that was an erector set. But that's another story.

http://www.literotica.com/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=85070&highlight=Raul

Ishmael

 

[LC Rough Caress]

Re: Where is tyswk?



Been busy with school for a few weeks. Need to play catch up.

Who was your first love?
Are they still with you?
How did they impact your life?
And your last love?
Is it true that there is to be only one great love in our lives?

My first love was a girl named Celina. I met her when I was around twelve years old, in seventh grade. She came to my school at the start of the Spring semester. When I first met her, I already had a crush on this girl from the year before, and at that time I based the worth of a girl on her physical appearance (as did every other guy at the time). For me, Celina was pretty, but not as pretty as my current crush.

However, in only a few weeks all of that changed. We rode on the same bus route, and so we ended up getting to know each other going to school and coming back home. As I got to know her better, I found myself being more and more attracted to her. She reminded me a lot of myself: imaginative and optomistic about life, a dreamer who set her sights high in life. Now, at this time in my life, I was EXTREMELY shy around girls, except for the ones who were friends of mine, and so I could never really move forward with our relationship. Luckily, she made the first move.

I was sitting in the library on morning. It was in February, and the school was having a Valentine's day on the 14th. I wasn't planning to go initially, but as I sat there reading a book, Celina walked by my table and dropped an envelope on the table. I opened it up and found a Valentine card inside along with a folded piece of paper that read:

"I really like you. Do you like me?"
[ ] Yes [ ] No

You know how someone can do something so romantic that it seems to send your heart fluttering? That's how it was for me at that moment. I guess I can blame Celina for making me into the hopeless romantic that I am today. Of course I checked yes. Then at lunch, the honors students had red, white, and pink carnations for sale along with little cards you could tie onto the flower. I bought a red one with the intent of giving it to Celina, but before I could even get through the lunch she came up to me asking me who the flower was for. So, instead of writing her a cute little note on the card like I wanted to, I just told her the flower was for her and gave it to her.

Finally Valentine's Day came around and both Celina and I were going to go, but not together. I couldn't get up the nerve to ask her to go as my date, but I did have the nerve to ask her to dance with me (don't question me on this part, even I can't explain the why's and why not's of this time of my life). We danced for most of the night, and had our picture taken together to have a memory of the evening.

However, after the dance, things just didn't seem to work out too well. Simply because of my own uncertanities about life, I wasn't able to bring myself to go any farther with Celina. We were still close, and I suppose, in some adolescent way, we could have been considered a couple, but it never became anything more than a strong friendship. Then at the end of the semester, Celina moved away to Chicago, and I never heard from her again. I tried to get in contact with her, but I never got any responses back.

Despite the fact that our relationship wasn't terribly long or deep, I fell in love with Celina. Instead of leaving my heart in San Fransisco, it was stolen and dragged off to the Windy City. I have so many regrets from that time, most of them having to do with the fact that I was too shy to ever let Celina know how I really felt about her. Then again, maybe I didn't even know how I felt about her at the time.

I've never fallen in love with anyone else, and, although I am young, I sometimes wonder if I'll ever find love again. I can say this, however: there is only one great love that you find in your life, one person that you are meant to be with.

"Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Shakespeare was wrong.