A work trip to remember

[Willpkirk]

My newest story is now live on lit, this is one that I have probably spent more time one, (Accepted first time around - a first for me) hopefully you all like it https://literotica.com/s/a-work-trip-to-remember

 

[AlinaX]

Watch out for repetition when writing fiction. In the first paragraph, four sentences all start with 'They'.

Grammar needs work. You switch between present and past tenses.

Something to think about: When you find yourself summarising events or conversation, ask yourself if instead you can explore parts of these instead. So, rather than:

I found myself laughing at her jokes.

can you actually have her saying something the MC finds funny? It gives the reader a clearer insight into who the characters are.

 

[Willpkirk]

Watch out for repetition when writing fiction. In the first paragraph, four sentences all start with 'They'.

Grammar needs work. You switch between present and past tenses.

Something to think about: When you find yourself summarising events or conversation, ask yourself if instead you can explore parts of these instead. So, rather than:

can you actually have her saying something the MC finds funny? It gives the reader a clearer insight into who the characters are.

Thanks. This is very helpful feedback, someone else has mentioned about the tense as well so something I'm definitely going to have to work on as seems to be a common issue