A weighty issue

[BiBunny]

I'm fat. I'm Southern. I'm a phone sex operator. The only way I could more stereotypical is if I had no teeth and lived in a trailer park.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I'm fat. I'm Southern. I'm a phone sex operator. The only way I could more stereotypical is if I had no teeth and lived in a trailer park.

you're 25...by proper Southern standards, you should have at least 3 children by now with 2 different fathers. sellout!

 

[graceanne]

you're 25...by proper Southern standards, you should have at least 3 children by now with 2 different fathers. sellout!

Seriously. What is this world coming to?

 

[MisterSir]

Seriously. What is this world coming to?

Standards really are slipping all over the world. I was walking by the local carwash the other day, was there a single beautiful and voluptuous woman in a bikini trying to soap up a car using every part of her but her hands? No, and probably because this is England and doing that is an easy path to hypothermia.

 

[graceanne]

Standards really are slipping all over the world. I was walking by the local carwash the other day, was there a single beautiful and voluptuous woman in a bikini trying to soap up a car using every part of her but her hands? No, and probably because this is England and doing that is an easy path to hypothermia.

Well that's awfully close minded of all those single, beautiful, and voluptous women in bikinis!

I'd sue if I were you.

 

[MisterSir]

Well that's awfully close minded of all those single, beautiful, and voluptous women in bikinis!

I'd sue if I were you.

I would, but I have to pay for my legal fees first. I may have been spying on the carwash from behind a fence...and yes, I may also have been masturbating a little in anticipation of the sluttiness, but goddammit I'm mad.

 

[graceanne]

I would, but I have to pay for my legal fees first. I may have been spying on the carwash from behind a fence...and yes, I may also have been masturbating a little in anticipation of the sluttiness, but goddammit I'm mad.

Well, at least you're living up to societal standards.

 

[BiBunny]

you're 25...by proper Southern standards, you should have at least 3 children by now with 2 different fathers. sellout!

I know! Whatever will we do with me? LOL.

ETA: But I drive a pickup truck! And used to drive a muscle car until the transmission went bad. Does that make up for my woeful lack of illegitimate children?

 

[Bi_Kitty]

you're 25...by proper Southern standards, you should have at least 3 children by now with 2 different fathers. sellout!

I know! Whatever will we do with me? LOL.

ETA: But I drive a pickup truck! And used to drive a muscle car until the transmission went bad. Does that make up for my woeful lack of illegitimate children?

Well...you do have 5 horses that you treat like kids so that should count for something, right?

 

[BiBunny]

Well...you do have 5 horses that you treat like kids so that should count for something, right?

And they're ALL by different Daddies. So, yeah, maybe I'm good.

 

[midwestyankee]

I'm fat. I'm Southern. I'm a phone sex operator. The only way I could more stereotypical is if I had no teeth and lived in a trailer park.

You don't?

Fuck, there go all my illusions. Shot to hell in a basket of day-old fried chicken livers.

 

[the captians wench]

Standards really are slipping all over the world. I was walking by the local carwash the other day, was there a single beautiful and voluptuous woman in a bikini trying to soap up a car using every part of her but her hands? No, and probably because this is England and doing that is an easy path to hypothermia.

I'd do it, but it doesn't have quite the same impact.

 

[Homburg]

I have been tempted to put my two in bathing suits and have them wash my car. I just don't have the right space for it.

 

[the captians wench]

I have been tempted to put my two in bathing suits and have them wash my car. I just don't have the right space for it.

I've been guilty of putting on a white t-shirt and giving my van a good washing down at the car wash.

I'm such an attention whore.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

[HIJACK!]Back on the original topic...

Mississippi's still fattest but Alabama closing in

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has long said that nearly a third of Americans are obese. The Trust report uses somewhat more conservative CDC surveys for a closer state-by-state look. Among the findings:

_Mississippi had the highest rate of adult obesity, 32.5 percent, for the fifth year in a row.

_Three additional states now have adult obesity rates above 30 percent, including Alabama, 31.2 percent; West Virginia, 31.1 percent; and Tennessee, 30.2 percent.

_In 1991, no state had more than a 20 percent obesity rate. Today, the only state that doesn't is Colorado, at 18.9 percent.

_Eight of the 10 fattest states are in the South. The Northeast and West are slightly slimmer than the rest of the country.

_Mississippi also had the highest rate of overweight and obese children, at 44.4 percent in total. It's followed by Arkansas, 37.5 percent; and Georgia, 37.3 percent.

_Following Alabama, Michigan ranks No. 2 with fat boomers; 36 percent of its 55- to 64-year-olds are obese. Colorado has the lowest rate, 21.8 percent.​

More in the article here.
[/HIJACK!]

 

[BiBunny]

The unofficial state motto of Alabama: Thank God for Mississippi.

This is for a myriad of reasons, not just Sir W's article.

 

[Keroin]

The unofficial state motto of Alabama: Thank God for Mississippi.

This is for a myriad of reasons, not just Sir W's article.

OK, I have a question about Alabama and food that maybe you, my redneck goddess, can answer. I've only passed briefly, (though memorably), through Alabama en route to Florida. I stopped at a gas station to fuel up and grab a snack. Now, there was a display case there full of deep fried "stuff". Some of the stuff was round, some of it was log shaped, some of it was triangular. On the wall, there was a menu describing the stuff but there were no corresponding signs in the display case to let you know what each group of stuff was. So, do people just know that the triangles are fried chicken nuggets and the squares are fried potatoes, or what?

I couldn't figure out what anything was. I went with gum, I'm not that adventurous.

BTW, I think I gave myself away as a foreigner when I started taking pictures of the pigs running through the station and rooting up the shrubberies.

Yes, Mississippi was scary. I drove real fast.

 

[WriterDom]

If we are going to have national health care then we should have fat jails. Say 400 pounds for men and 350 for women. Exceed that and you go to fat jail where your diet is restricted and you are forced to exercise until you lose 100 pounds.

It wouldn't have to be as harsh as regular jail but you don't get out until you lose the weight.

 

[MisterSir]

Eh, they pay their taxes, they pay for national health care, let them eat themselves to death.

 

[Cattypuss]

If we are going to have national health care then we should have fat jails. Say 400 pounds for men and 350 for women. Exceed that and you go to fat jail where your diet is restricted and you are forced to exercise until you lose 100 pounds.

It wouldn't have to be as harsh as regular jail but you don't get out until you lose the weight.

Just set the bars a certain width apart and when you can squeeze through you can leave of your own accord??

I hope your suggestion isn't serious. Seems pretty barbaric to me. What about their families etc?

 

[graceanne]

And they're ALL by different Daddies. So, yeah, maybe I'm good.

*gasp*

HUSSY!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

If we are going to have national health care then we should have fat jails. Say 400 pounds for men and 350 for women. Exceed that and you go to fat jail where your diet is restricted and you are forced to exercise until you lose 100 pounds.

It wouldn't have to be as harsh as regular jail but you don't get out until you lose the weight.

Hmm... I think you'd have to have a weight/height/bone structure algorithm rather than set amounts. 400 pounds for a man who's 5'2" wouldn't match up with 400 pounds for a guy who's 6'2", and the same with women. And some people have really scrawny skeletons - narrow shoulders, narrow hips, etc. - as opposed to folks like Homburg who are really broad across the shoulders. And maybe you'd have to add a warning system for those who got to, say, 90% of the jailing point so their families could help them avoid goin' to fat jail.

And then there's the NFL. From a 1/31/06 story on ESPN.com:

Twenty years ago, it was rare for a player to weigh 300 pounds. But more than 500 players were listed at that weight or more on NFL training-camp rosters this summer -- including San Francisco 49ers guard Thomas Herrion, who collapsed and died after an exhibition game in August.​

From a 10/29/06 story in the Palm Beach Post:

Culpepper thrived in a Tampa Bay defense that stressed speed and strength, but then he went to Chicago, where the Bears were slaves to the scale. Like many NFL teams, Chicago had a minimum and maximum weight for each position.

One Friday morning — weigh-in day — during the 2000 season, Culpepper barely hit 265 pounds, and coaches determined he was too light to line up Sunday for a Bears team that would finish 5-11.​

....

From 1920 to 1984, there were never more than eight players in any season who weighed 300 pounds or more. This year [2006], there were 570 players who weighed 300 or more listed on 2006 NFL training camp rosters, nearly 20 percent of all players.

Other super-sized findings:

• Since the NFL-AFL merger in 1970, the average player is nearly 25 pounds heavier, averaging 245.
  
• Over the same period, the average offensive lineman is 62 pounds heavier; defensive lineman, 34 pounds.
  
• Running backs weigh 17 pounds more and quarterbacks are 26 pounds heavier.

....

In 1999, the Detroit Lions made Wisconsin offensive tackle Aaron Gibson, who at one time weighed 440 pounds, the 27th overall pick in the draft. Gibson mostly played in the upper 300s, but in 2002 he became the league's first 400-pounder at 410 with the Dallas Cowboys.

That same year, Buffalo selected 370-pound OT Mike Williams fourth overall.

Both are now out of football.​

Are we gonna put NFL offensive linemen in fat jail?

 

[Netzach]

If we are going to have national health care then we should have fat jails. Say 400 pounds for men and 350 for women. Exceed that and you go to fat jail where your diet is restricted and you are forced to exercise until you lose 100 pounds.

It wouldn't have to be as harsh as regular jail but you don't get out until you lose the weight.

If we have nationalized health care, it means if you break a leg you can get it set and fixed without paying two car payments for it while you fight with some asshole in CT to try and get some of your money back, after paying him another car payment every month.

Your worries about fat jail will dissipate the moment you aren't asking yourself if you're sick enough to bother going in.

 

[Cattypuss]

Your worries about fat jail will dissipate the moment you aren't asking yourself if you're sick enough to bother going in.

yes yes YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

As a Brit with free-to-all healthcare, it strikes me as awful that in many other countries people have to actually stop and think "Can I afford to see the doc about this/pay for the drugs for treating this/ etc etc?".

Our National Health Service is overstretched but if you're sick, you go and you get treated, and nobody charges you a penny. And if you need drugs they are free fro thoe on welfare or, for anyone else, roughly $10 a prescription. Last week I paid roughly $30 for three months' worth of the three drugs I take.

To me two things that should be provided, free of charge, to ever single citizen of any country that wants to call itself civilised, are education and healthcare.

 

[Primalex]

The only way I could more stereotypical is if I had no teeth and lived in a trailer park.

It's never too late.