A weighty issue

[brioche]

As far as tips, do you know what I've found most helpful?
Mental rehearsing.
If I know what I'm going to eat, and what the day is going to be like (to some extent), then rehearsing responding to those challenges helps me.
Visualising only having one helping, and only a healthy snack later.
Visualising not putting any salt on the meal (yes folks, still struggling with that).
Visualising limiting fat and using extra veggies, and adding the olive oil...
I thought it was the most crackpot thing I'd ever heard when I started, but it worked the when I tried it.
It worked well enough that once I get my back-to-school check I'm buying food from a prepared shopping list so that I can visualize the next day's meals before I go to bed.
If I do have psoriatic arthritis, the best thing I can do is get as fit as possible before another attack, so I'm getting more serious about going to the physiotherapy type gym, too. I'm dragging my mum along with me, because I think it'll help with her osteoarthritis.
I cleaned up a lot of my room the past two weeks, and I found all these pictures of me in high school, thin...and some of me heavier. You can see the difference in my face, my expressions.
I'm not going to let the scale rule my attitude anymore. I'm doing what I can as far as living a healthy life. I have to take care of the rest.

 

[Cherrysweetdeal]

In the case of my own body I have never been severely overweight but I have always been a little bit pudgier then I should've been. For my height I am in the healthy range and that is all that matters at this point, when you can lift almost 400 lbs with your legs it just means that there is a decent amount of muscle accumulating in the body. Since muscle I've found weighs more then fat my 150 lbs or so is not a horrible weight. You would be amazed at how many people say I look 135 it makes me feel wonderful.

In most cases I find build is sometimes what you have to go along with even though a person maybe be 170 lbs it can look alright and they can still eat healthy and exercise. The thing is if they are exercising and not losing weight or even inches it means that they are not doing the proper exercise for them. For myself it was dance that started me losing and weightlifting when I was in highschool.

When it comes to G he is a 6'5 man and he has a very large build. Broad shoulders and large chest *drool*.... sorry gonna wipe that off. He though is in good shape for his size and even though he has not reached his ideal weight or ideal BMI I still find him extremely attractive and since starting this relationship he has helped me to feel better about myself and better about how I look. I would never say it outloud but when it comes to being with him and how he treats me I feel absolutely gorgeous.

Exercise is different for everyone, just because someone can jog and lose weight and another can eat and not gain anything doesn't mean they are not healthy. Thanks to G I have been going to the gym about two or three times a week since March or so.

.....Sorry about the long post I am done now.

 

[Exogenous]

We all have physical imperfections (some in our control or not) whether it’s limp in one’s gait, stuttering, bad breath, being in a wheelchair, obesity, impotence (from which my former Dom suffered), or whatever. Does that effect our inner core? Not always. Perhaps in regards to self-esteem, yes, which can effect how one deals with life and treats others and themselves. Does that make anyone less worthy of being wanted or loved? No. It’s what’s in one’s heart and character that matters.

It’s a visual world (media, adverts, etc.) that influences what we should consider acceptable or unacceptable. Have you seen the movie, The Devil Wears Prada? In the beginning the girl in the story is true to herself (and interestingly she’s thin and pretty to begin with) but she changes herself to become what others expect. She ends up unhappy and her life is messed up…until she returns to her true self.

It’s not healthy to be overweight, that is a true fact. However, that doesn’t mean someone who is overweight isn’t deserving of respect and love, whether it’s in a BDSM or vanilla relationship. I am overweight, or plus-sized as the PC way of putting it. I don’t like it. I exercise (low impact aerobics) to help my back problems. I eat well, lots of fruits and vegetables, meatless dinners, etc. But I will never be thin again; I will probably never even be a size 16, which is still large. Yet, it seems that the majority of men will reject me, not even give me a second thought, because of my size. That is so frustrating, when I have so much to offer, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

There are ways to work around physical imperfections. There are so many ways to enjoy physical, as well as emotional, love in whatever type of relationship one chooses, regardless of imperfections.

Realizing that I let my size contribute to my lack of self-confidence, I also know that I have strengths in my personality, character, and consciousness that are extremely positive. My intellect, my compassion, my sense of humor, my ability to be empathetic, my will to achieve and please, to give and to nurture, to be understanding and learn, my depth of love both emotionally and physically, are all true and beautiful attributes to give to someone who can appreciate me for who I really am. Yet, I have a difficult time finding a man who will look past my size and see who I really am. Perhaps I am naïve and unrealistic in thinking that it’s what’s inside that counts the most, in this visually critical world. I guess I’m just SOL.

I guess I am just ranting. I'm just frustrated and would like to be regarded in my entirty, not just the window dressing.

 

[FurryFury]

*hugs*

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[LadyAria]

That worries me greatly. If children are overweight it's mostly due to wrong food (too much fast food/snacks, not enough healthy stuff). They don't learn as children that their parents cook meals, and they don't learn that salad, veggies and fruit taste good. They will never really learn it.

Yes kids are more overweight, but I got to call Bullshit on it being just the type of food. It is the amount. My mother could not cook to save her life. We grew up on McDonald's, pizza, chips, fruit pies and Swanson dinners. We never had veggies and fruit in my house growing up. I, however, was never overweight. Because 1) I didn't stuff and 2) I was always outside playing.

As an adult, I love fruits and veggies because frankly I grew up on crap and it taste horrible to me now. Give me a ripe peach over a slice of cake. So, people can develop new tastes and do. It takes 8 weeks to teach your taste buds to enjoy a new type of fat.

Kids are fat for the same reason as adults are. They eat too much and they do not exercise enough.

 

[satindesire]

I am very tall for a woman with long, slender bones that make my build look, luckily, more petite than it truly is. I weigh in between 145-155, but it's mostly concentrated around my breasts, butt, and thighs. I wear a 12 in jeans because they're the only ones long enough to fit me, but the whole numbers game to me was a little bit more than depressing, so I try not to pay attention to it.

The only body part I am truly self concious about -are-, in fact, my thighs, which I would feel would be much more attractive if they didn't 'touch' when I stood up, and the cellulite dimples were gone.

My eating habits are better than some...I don't like fast food at all but I tend to get a pizza about once a week. I love fresh fruit and veggies, and try to stay away from red meat and sugary treats as much as possible, but they (my eating habits) have just recently changed for the better in the last few years...my family tends towards overweight because of their diet and for the majority of my young life, I had no idea what to eat to take good care of myself.

I do Pilates three-four times a week and I love to walk and hike. I love to dance and you can often find me in the living room, buck-ass naked, dancing my heart out to some kick-butt music while my Dom is at work! It's helped me increase my endurance and balance, and gives me the flexibility that Pilates needs...and I honestly enjoy it!

I don't really think there's a difference in weight in the people involved in the BDSM world...I've seen all kinds here, just like the Vanilla world. I think some of us tend to be a bit more openminded and accepting of different body shapes and sizes, but I could be biased!

To me, my weight has been about self control and moderation. I refuse to eat until I'm stuffed (not even on Holidays!!) and I won't have more than two dessert treats a week. Chocolate is more acceptable around 'that time of the month' to kill the cravings and crying fits, but other than that, I try SO hard to maintain my size and shape as it is.

 

[Etoile]

I refuse to eat until I'm stuffed (not even on Holidays!!)

Off-topic (?)...I must remember this for the cruise I'm taking next month. My wife and I went on a cruise in 2004 and it was basically a giant sleep/eat cycle. Wake up, go to breakfast, take mid-morning nap. Wake up, go to lunch, take afternoon nap. Wake up, go to dinner, go to show, go to bed. There were other activities in there too but I gained eight pounds on that cruise!! I have lost 25-30 pounds since the beginning of this year (started at 187, hovering around 160 now) and I am NOT going to slip back on our upcoming vacation.

 

[FurryFury]

Off-topic (?)...I must remember this for the cruise I'm taking next month. My wife and I went on a cruise in 2004 and it was basically a giant sleep/eat cycle. Wake up, go to breakfast, take mid-morning nap. Wake up, go to lunch, take afternoon nap. Wake up, go to dinner, go to show, go to bed. There were other activities in there too but I gained eight pounds on that cruise!! I have lost 25-30 pounds since the beginning of this year (started at 187, hovering around 160 now) and I am NOT going to slip back on our upcoming vacation.

NEVER use the elevators, that was my rule but yeah, I hate a butt load more than usual! LOL!

Fury

 

[ammre]

i'm fat, oh i'm 300lbs fat. I'm a size 24. I'm 5'10".

then i wrote this wole thing explaning that i was fat and why i'm fat and that i'm healthy even though i'm fat.. but fuck it, it dosn'et matter, nor does it answer your questions.


So far my weight has only limited my bdsm by limiting what i could wear. (I really wanted the pink ruffle latex skirt and the black corset, but i would havelooked like sausage.)

as for self-esteem, i'm fine, i go to a nude beach, whatev's. you see my naked body good for you, i have a trophy for naked slip and slide. Ever see a fat chick run full speed and then do the Lotus medatation position down a naked slip and slide? hah!
But anyway, i don't like people touching me. When i was younger, i was grose. I was fat i was ickey. you don't want to touch fat ickey people, and it actually got to the point where people just rubbing my back woudl make me nausious/actually vomit. i've gotten much better, but then i let someon touch me who was an irresponsible jerkof and now i have genital herpies and just one more reason to think of myself as jabba da ickey sloth.

I'm sorry i can't better answer your other questions. I jsut don't have that much expierence.


oh and one last tidbit. i'm active. i camp for well over a month each year. I'm also a professional fire spinner and hooper. i don't have any fire videos up btu i do have some hooping videos up, which will also give you an idea of my size.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih5lrwtfs4A

 

[FurryFury]

Ammre, great hooping! I can't do that at all.

I hope my prior remarks about how big people in my part of the country are getting and what they were wearing haven't be taken as criticism of weight in general. It wasn't meant that way.

I personally don't wear some things because of worries bout the sausage look too. Those of us who think about such things are wiser IMO than those that don't. Those that don't seem to be gaining in prevalence for some reason that I don't understand.

Fury

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[shy slave]

Ammre

The hoop video is amazing, I am so impressed. I could never do that.

 

[SpectreT]

That was definitely cool.

 

[Vessira]

Here's my story, I've been overweight most of my life. I was blessed with my Patern Grandmother's genes, which in my family means short, tits, and ass. I've got what would easily be called child bearing hips. Don't get me wrong, I like to eat. Through a large part of my life, I was teased by friends, family members, and others for my weight, and the results to my self esteem simply made me eat more when I would get upset. Food was a comfort. Food still is. I also realized a few years ago that my weight was a good way to protect myself from other people. The typicaly superficial people were never interested in me. People had to get to know me a bit to see my worth. This didn't guarentee that the people I dated be of quality. Because of my low self esteem at times, I have found myself attracting people who fed on that. I've tried for years to lose weight. At my short height 5'2" even with my body type I'd still be out of the ranges most height weight charts give you. It's never prevented me from participating in my kinky side, although one of the biggest sources of my self esteem is my body. About a year and a half ago I started weight watchers and lost 30 lbs, but then I go in a relationship, and managed to gain it all back because I want involved with someone else who had an unhealthy lifestyle and I returned to eating for comfort. At my peak weight I hit about 248. About 2 and a half month ago, I decided that I needed to change more than just how I ate and signed up for a gym membership. The first 2 weeks of having it, I didn't go. I was anxious about working out in front of other people, and I wasn't sure how to use all the machines or even what I should be doing. Even though I knew it would be expenisve, I got a personal trainer, who I meet with once a week. He helped me get a routine, push myself, and I've lost about 12 lbs in 2 months. It's a little slower than it could be, cause I don't always hit the gym as much as I'd like (but hey, I work 2 jobs) and I still like food, but for me I need I needed to have someone to "check in with" in order to hold myself accountable and make sure I'd do my weekly exercises.

The other important thing for me about starting it, was at the beginning of our sessions, we teased my endurance and such, and took all my measurements. I never thought I could be a small girl, but I never really have a gold to aim for when it came to my weigh. If my body was made of entirely lean muscle, I would still weight 147, which is considered about 30+ lbs overweight for someone of my height. But not for my body type. I'd be happy personally at about 150-160, as I like being curvy, but it would be nice to feel better about myself and to be able to shop in regular sized clothing stores (I'm still a 16 now).

As for the whole self esteem issue, well, we'll see. I have my good days and my bad days, and I know I have various insecurities from my past relationships. Hopefully as my confidence grows, I'll be more able to get out and meet more people in the lifestyle til I find one who's right for me.

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[satindesire]

I don't mean to hijack this thread at all, since it's intended purpose was to talk about weight and it's subsequent effects on BDSM, but I've always found women with 'meat on their bones' and 'child bearing hips' more attractive than very thin women.

I don't think I'm alone in this, either

 

[CutieMouse]

*****

 

[Exogenous]

Ammre, honey you ROCK.

and ROLL! That clip is awesome and looked like you had terrific fun. Great music choice, as well.

 

[LadyAria]

i'm fat, oh i'm 300lbs fat. I'm a size 24. I'm 5'10".

then i wrote this wole thing explaning that i was fat and why i'm fat and that i'm healthy even though i'm fat.. but fuck it, it dosn'et matter, nor does it answer your questions.


So far my weight has only limited my bdsm by limiting what i could wear. (I really wanted the pink ruffle latex skirt and the black corset, but i would havelooked like sausage.)

as for self-esteem, i'm fine, i go to a nude beach, whatev's. you see my naked body good for you, i have a trophy for naked slip and slide. Ever see a fat chick run full speed and then do the Lotus medatation position down a naked slip and slide? hah!
But anyway, i don't like people touching me. When i was younger, i was grose. I was fat i was ickey. you don't want to touch fat ickey people, and it actually got to the point where people just rubbing my back woudl make me nausious/actually vomit. i've gotten much better, but then i let someon touch me who was an irresponsible jerkof and now i have genital herpies and just one more reason to think of myself as jabba da ickey sloth.

I'm sorry i can't better answer your other questions. I jsut don't have that much expierence.


oh and one last tidbit. i'm active. i camp for well over a month each year. I'm also a professional fire spinner and hooper. i don't have any fire videos up btu i do have some hooping videos up, which will also give you an idea of my size.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih5lrwtfs4A

Okay, that video was awesome and the music was great!

 

[Cherrysweetdeal]

oh and one last tidbit. i'm active. i camp for well over a month each year. I'm also a professional fire spinner and hooper. i don't have any fire videos up btu i do have some hooping videos up, which will also give you an idea of my size.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ih5lrwtfs4A

I may be smaller then you but you have far more skill in that then me... So what if I know how to use a computer and network.... you can fcking use a hula hoop....


Good to ya Ammre, even with my smaller frame I can't do that.

 

[Exogenous]

Does Sex sell?

I'm sure it depends on who the adverts are being aimed at...but this is an interesting take:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060907/sc_space/doessexreallysellperhapsnottowomen

I find that when I shop at certain stores that cater to large women their ad-posters are of large boned women who have flat tummies and tight asses. So, it's ok to be large, but not with a padded tummy, hips, ass, or thighs? Is that the message? That doesn't strike well, with me, anyway.

Would I like to look like a Victoria Secret model? Sure! But that's not real life for me. LOL...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...where might I find a beholder for my beauty?

 

[Etoile]

Holy shit, ammre, that was awesome and you are hot.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm sure it depends on who the adverts are being aimed at...but this is an interesting take:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/space/20060907/sc_space/doessexreallysellperhapsnottowomen

I find that when I shop at certain stores that cater to large women their ad-posters are of large boned women who have flat tummies and tight asses. So, it's ok to be large, but not with a padded tummy, hips, ass, or thighs? Is that the message? That doesn't strike well, with me, anyway.

Would I like to look like a Victoria Secret model? Sure! But that's not real life for me. LOL...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...where might I find a beholder for my beauty?

It's not "real" life for them either. Till the plastic surgery anyways.

Fury

 

[BeachGurl2]

Adding my vote to the Ammre rocks crowd here. Wow, girl. I wish I had those kinds of moves!

I agree, Cutie, it's amazing how this thread has remained positive when we live in such a cynical place where people immediately attack. The thing that gets me the most about people in general, though, is the hypocrisy. You drive down the road and spot a really large guy driving a truck with a bumper sticker that says "no fat chicks".

I could stand to lose 15 pounds - or even just tone up, the weight isn't that big an issue as much as being a bit out of shape is. When I was doing the online dating thing, it would really get me when I would meet someone for coffee, see that he was pushing on the pudgy side with 25 or so extra pounds around his middle, and have him say that he was looking for someone 'smaller' (read=thinner) than I am. And when they look at me and say 'smaller', it's obvious what they're talking about, because I'm a pretty small person to begin with. My response? Well, good luck with that. What else can you say to someone so shallow?